>> someone because the issue is before us. president obama brought it to the fore when he spoke about it. in effect, giving people permission to talk about it and to think about it in ways they had not, and i think for our board, we were saying to each other, if the president can do this, perhaps we can do it, too. it is a welcome surprise to me. i was just -- i can't tell you how happy i was that this happened. >> you realize that this is something that the majority of african-americans are opposed to, same-sex marriage. are you worried about backlash? how might this go over with african-americans? >> i think thinking people will think about it and say i may not agree with it, but there it is. they've done it and i support the naacp, i always have and will continue to do so. it's like president obama. people are going to say -- i

don't think people are going to say i'm not going to vote for him because he took this position on same-sex marriage, unless you weren't going to vote for him originally. then i think you would be encouraged to vote for him now and some people are going to be more encouraged to vote for him now and people will feel the same way about this. i've been flooded with congratulations from people all over the country, saying thank you, god bless you. we're so happy you did this. >> mr. obama in the polls, before he endorsed same-sex marriage, had been leading. it was in the small margin of error. now it is showing in some polls that it's neck and neck and mitt romney may be ahead of this. and with women, there's been a turn around in polling with women. do you think this is safkting the president's numbers, his endorsement of same-sex marriage? >> i wouldn't think so. it may do so, but i wouldn't think so. we're too far from election day to be placing much reliance on these polls. give us a couple more months and

say yes, that's scary to hear or i'm happy to hear that. >> i think most people decide within just a couple of weeks, a couple of days or hours before the election just the same as before, you know, they pick who the actual nominee is going to be. and then everything is erased after that. i think you bring up a very good point, that most people don't decide until close to the election and most of it is just media and political fodder. but i want to ask you, since we're talking about politics, i want to talk about this proposal that came up this week, super pac funded by billionaire joe ricketts to bring back the boogeyman of 2008, that's jeremiah wright. what do you make of this? >> well, this is part of the republican playbook to wave the race card and to wave it widely. reverend wright preaches no

differently than hundreds of black ministers. he's a well educated and well respected man. what he said you would hear on many churches sunday morning. many would say that's just the reverend, he feels excited about these things. i think this is a pocket of nothing, and i'm glad that the man who is going to do it has backed away. he realized it was a mistake and he's not going to do it. >> why would you think that strategist would -- this is something when we were talking about this when i saw it come up, i said, this is so five years ago. why is reverend wright the boogeyman, a big enough boogeyman for someone who bring him up again to scare away voters or to scare republican voters or conservative voters into voting for mitt romney and not barack obama? >> most of us never heard of reverend wright until four years ago and the republicans waved him in front of the electorate

and said this is an awful man, a scary man, be afraid of him and he's close to barack obama, so watch out. none of that was true about him, obama never heard any of the sermons that reverend wright made. this is a mess in a small teapot. but the republicans are good at this, waving the race card, talking about race, scaring people, and reverend wright, unfortunately, because he's a decent man, i know him, he's a fine man, reverend wright had contributed to this by the nature of his rhetoric, which is fine with me. >> you're saying there's no responsibility for reverend wright? because some of the things he said are damning. listen, i wasn't there in the church. i did live in chicago at the time. i've gone there a couple of times only to do stories. but you don't think he's responsible for some of the rhetoric he said if you listen to some of those sermons? >> if you listen to the sound bites, they may be scary, but if

you listen to the whole of the sermon, you would feel differently. if you listen to the beginning to the time he sits down, you'll say this is a thoughtful examination of our current day problems. >> julian bond, thank you. we'll talk more about this with our political players. thanks again. next -- . >> enough already. the rhetoric heats up, and so does the bull. we cut right through it. i got mine in iraq, 2003. usaa auto insurance is often handed down from generation to generation. because it offers a superior level of protection, and because usaa's commitment to serve the military, veterans and their families is without equal. begin your legacy, get an auto insurance quote. usaa. we know what it means to serve.

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okay, so mitt romney insists he wants to talk about the economy and only the economy. but somehow the focus seemed to stay on the president. let's revisit recent days. we talked about it with julian bond. after the president's same-sex marriage announcement, "newsweek" labeled him the first gay president. now he hear about a $10 million super pac proposal called "the defeat of barack hussein obama" and even calls him a metro sexual black abe lincoln. so what was the plan behind this

ad campaign, to show voters jeremiah wright and understand his influence on barack obama for the first time in a big way. that's right. the boogeyman of the last presidential campaign, jeremiah wright. alice, if romney really wants -- if republicans want to focus on the economy, why are allies, why are romney's allies resurrecting the boogeyman of 2008 again? >> well, you know the details behind this. this was an ad proposal brought ant fred davis, presented to ricketts who is going to be the money man behind this. but it was clearly turned down. ricketts didn't want to do anything with it. governor romney said he repudiates the idea of doing this. he doesn't want to focus on reverend wright. he wants to focus on the economy. he's rolled out his first ad day one what he would do as approving the keystone pipeline,

doing what he could to repeal and replace obama care and rewarding job creators. those are the ads he wants to focus on. and this plan by fred davis is something he's repudiated right off the bat. >> i want you to weigh in on this, because the campaign, they criticized romney for his tepid response. do you think that was fair? >> i think the fact that he has come out, he's repudiated this ad proposal. here we're having a faux argument about a non-ad campaign when it never got off the ground and never will. this was an idea proposed and leaked to "the new york times." i think this is the last we'll see and hear of this idea and it will go to the graveyard of fred davis ad ideas. >> do you think it's convenient sometimes is when the right

doesn't want to -- when they want to focus on the economy, they do. when they don't want to, they bring other things into the equation, do you agree with what alice said? >> yes, for the most part. you know the reason why this ad was even in discussion is, one, they don't feel as if romney just stuck with the economy that is a sure deal he'll win the presidential election. so they're coming with other things to shore up his weakness. and two, they believe it's going to work. part of the reason why it's going to work is there still is that fear, that fear that president obama doesn't really have his eyes set out for the entire country, but just a particular segment of the population. and they want to play upon that fear. they wouldn't have proposed the idea if they didn't think it was going to work. >> dean, this is a video -- this is going to be a video, but did

we overlook any spiritual signs. his spiritual mentor for decades, jeremiah wright. i understand what alice is saying, but you wonder why would people think that bringing up something like this would be beneficial to anyone? >> i think honestly if mitt romney thought this was work, he would bring it up. in fact, in february, he was o sean hannity and mitt romney did bring up reverend wright. if it could work, he would do it. i want some politician to go on tv and say, we don't have a silver bullet answer. the reality is, at some point romney is going to come off the economy and go to social issues. that moves people. >> do we have the romney sound bite? let's roll it.

>> i'm not sure which is worse, him listening to rev recommend wright or -- reverend wright or we must be less of a christian nation. >> he brought it up in february on sean hannity's show. i have no doubt that mitt romney will say anything to get elected. this guy is a special case. he would use this jeremiah wright if he thought it would work but he knows it can't. barack obama has a record now to run on. president obama, you like him or not. >> you know, the thing that i find interesting -- >> go ahe is, lz, and then alice. >> i really doubted that romney wanted to have this kind of discussion. >> about religion. >> about religion, especially religion. herman cain talked about what influence did sitting under

jeremiah wright for 20 years have on the president? i'm thinking romney was 31 before the mormons allowed black people to serve as leadership in his church. i don't think he wants to have that conversation. >> alice, go ahead. this is something, alice, i don't think mitt romney wants to wade into the religion pool, especially with mormonism and all of that. go ahead. >> it's not even that issue at all. what we're talking about is people already know about reverend wright. they know what he said about president obama sitting in his church 20 years during some of the most influential time when he shaped his mindset and they got past that. it was not a factor in 2008. and to dean's point, this is not going to be about reverend wright or the social issues. as dean said, this is going to be a reflection of president obama's record, what he's done

as president of the united states and how his policies have failed to make things better for the american people. all of this is a sideshow from what people are concerned about and who is going to be the best person to create jobs and turn the economy around. >> okay, all right, all right alice. just for time purposes here, remember short answers. does this, alice, highlight the impact of super pacs on this year's campaign? all this money that's going into this, and if the campaign had tighter restraints and oversight on who put the ads out, might they not have this issue or this problem? >> well, as you know, there can be no coordination between the campaigns and the super pacs. but as we said before, this was just an idea that was put out there, tossed out there to see how it would play. before it came to fruition, governor romney repudiated the idea of it. but super pacs certainly.

it's too much money and we need to focus on positive ads to show the contrast between the candidates and focusing on what they can do to make things better. >> all right. we have to go. we've got to move on. >> superpacs are horrible. we should have a whole show on them. >> all right. thank you, guys. you guys are great. >> thanks, don. good night. a little politics and next a big pageantry. let me read this for you. "there she is, there she is. your deal, walking on air. she's the fairest of the fair." does that sound familiar? that is from the miss america pageant. but four years ago, this miss was a mr. her story is next. for three hours a week, i'm a coach.

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so we're wondering tonight if it would matter to you, if you're ms. universe wasn't exactly 100% a ms., at some point in her life was a mr.? she's tall, she's gorgeous, blonde, beauty pageant queen in canada. and get this, she was not born a girl. her very presence on stage right now is the end of a long legal battle. cnn's paula newton in toronto. paula, the pageant happening right now. do you have some early results. how is she doing? >> reporter: she made it to the final 12. and she looked a bit surprised herself, but incredibly pleased. they're having the evening gown portion of this competition right now. and i think that even know she said she's in it to win it, she

would be quite happy with the results so far. i have to tell you, don, we did hear from some family members here, that that backlash many have been talking about is starting to happen. some people are saying we don't know how she made it to be a finalist, if she's not even a woman. she and her family members will take great offense to that. but right now sit the reality of this kind of a controversial situation, for many people pushing the envelope of this kind of a competition. >> so you're going to keep us updated, right, and let us know what's going on there? >> reporter: will do. >> we'll be ch whatting. thank you very much. the pageant initially rejected her involvement in the contest and so did some of her contestants. >> i'm really impressed, because not a lot of people can get that on their first try.

>> 2011 ms. georgia. you were born a woman? >> that's what the doctor tells me. >> you have a great sense of humor. we're joking about it. this is the crown right here. >> that is the croup i won in november. >> you have mixed feelings about the story? >> i did at first. my first knee jerk reaction was, no. but i think that, you know, she's recognized legally as a woman in canada. even her birth certificate says it. i don't have a problem with it. she's a woman. she's legally recognized that way. >> you heard what paula said. she said that some people were kind of upset. we don't know how she got to be in the final 12. what do you make of that? is it ignorance or bigotry? >> i think everyone is entitled to their opinion. and i don't think anyone can be 100% right or wrong in this

situation. but jenna is doing what is right for jenna. i commend her for that, and i know that feeling of being called as a finalist. i got chills when i saw replays of the video. you could tell she was shocked. but she did that little hip-hop. i think he's more prepared than people think she is. she's ready. >> here's what it is. i don't know, i've been one of these people on this. i want to keep this going now. so wendy and dean -- wendy, you were in a beauty pageant. i said this is my sort of male view. >> people can be whatever they

want to be, don. i think we need to really look at what our definition of gender is, because there aren't just two genders. we talked about this all the time. it's a big wide scale and where do we draw the line? >> listen, don't get me wrong. listen, i believe in transgender rights. but some people find these pageants superficial. some people were saying, do they even do this anymore? i know you would take offense to that, right? >> absolutely. this is a job opportunity. you are working for donald trump. these girls are not stupid. there are all times of stereotypes. we're hardworking girls. >> school me. >> donald trump doing a good thing, the media whore doing something positive. it's great publicity for the

pageant. let's be honest, it's a job opportunity, that's exactly it. only 15 states -- in 35 states you can be discriminated against because you've had a sex change or gender reassignment surgery. so it is a struggle for people and i think this is great. this is just a job opportunity. doesn't mean she's going to win, just give her a shot. >> listen, you should see some of the things that people are saying about this. it's destroying society, bla, bla, bla, on and on and on. >> that's great surgery. i don't know who his surgeon is, but he should be on tv. his surgeon is amazing. >> people are afraid, don. they're just afraid. >> look at the before pictures. >> she's a beautiful young lady. my thing is just about beauty

pageants. but you have schooled me here and now i am -- i have evolved on the issue. >> absolutely. if jenna gets nothing else out of this, she's a role model for transgender people and she's already won in my eyes. >> very nice. thank you, guys. and the former beauty pageant contestant, wendy walsh. living in sin. shacking up. whatever you call it, not mare yesterday. france's new president has a live-in girlfriend, but would that fly here? maybe they're on to something, i think. your new lumia, thank you at&t. first, why don't you show her the curved edge... now move on to the slick navigation tiles -- bam, right into the people hub. see megan, colin has lots of friends. hey, colin, what kind of phone is that? whaaa -- oh megan -- when did you get here? [ clears throat ] ohh yea no, let's...

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more of the stories you're talking about in a moment, but first the news you need to know right now. in chicago tonight, three men busted for planning what prosecutors call acts of domestic terrorism. a judge set their bail at $1.5

million each. police say they were stockpiling weapons and firebombs and planning to use them in chicago this weekend. that's where world leaders are gathering for a nato summit that kicks off on sunday. all right, this just in. mark zuckerberg is having quite the week today. today, he married his long-time girlfriend priscilla chan. their wedding was announced, where else? on facebook. monday, he turned 28 and friday facebook went public, making him worth more than $19 billion. congratulations to the lovely couple. and we'll share in the wealth if you will give us some of that. so i'll have another is a win. one win away from horse racing's triple up crown. the kentucky derby winner took the preakness. the 3-year-old was purchased last year for the rock bottom price of $35,000.

no horse has won the triple crown in over 30 years. marriage. marriage is what brings us together today. >> okay. i don't know what that was. but any way, our panel is here again and we're talking marriage. dean and wendy and from los angeles, steve. steve is the author of "a true bad boy explains how men think, date and mate." we looked at the definition of monogamy and it's not what you might think. the second part of the definition doesn't mention anything about marriage at all. here's what marriage is -- monogamy is about marriage. i thought it was about being in one relationship at a time.

i've got to tell you guys this, i wrote about this when we -- show the panel again, because i want to see their reaction. i wrote about this, about same-sex marriage. i said, not every gay person wants to get married. then i say, what's wrong with people, why do they want to get married, alimony, job support. that's part of the fun of not getting married. >> right. >> so is marriage a thing of the past, steve? >> you know, it doesn't make sense -- if i go out with a woman and we're in a relationship and then it implodes, that someone else is going to come in and tell me how much i owe her, who is right and who is wrong. if they want to stay in the relationship from the beginning to the end, then they can tell me what to do. keep your life simple, don't sign contracts you can't keep up with and think marriage through. we're living a lot longer than we used to.

>> preach, steve. wendy, let him have it. >> wendy is not married either. >> steve doesn't have a womb, he doesn't breastfeed and he doesn't have a fertility window. if you live together, there's far more chance that you will not get married ever. there are lots of great things about marriage, but the main thing is it's the best nest we have right now to raise children in a helpful way. i'm not pro marriage for everybody. it's not about co-mingling assets or worrying about cheating. i'm worried about how do we make the best nest for raising the next generation of america. >> who says you have to have children? not everybody wants children but a lot of people get married. >> marriage is mainly for having children nowadays.

>> steve, listen, don't dig yourself into a bigger hole. just say, yes, dear. wendy is going to kill me for that. >> i trained you well, don. >> but listen, dean, they bring up some good points. the french president has chosen to live with his girlfriend. she's even been called france's first girlfriend. would that ever happen in the united states? we've had unmarried presidents before. >> not in modern day. his last girlfriend he dated for 30 years. he's never marrying this girl. but i have to go back to monogamy. only about 18 species of animals that believe in monogamy, in like a million species. so it's unnatural when you think about it. the only one is black vultures. if they cheat, the other one kills them. so that's the stakes we should

have now. if you cheat, i'll kill you. >> no, no. >> okay, you are lucky -- let me tell you guys. steve, you're in the same city as wendy. >> he's in the next room, don. don't you worry, i'm after him after this. >> dean, you're lucky you're in new york or else you might be in for some trouble, as well. >> i'm against cheating. >> don't go anywhere, guys. my next guest says he can tell if a couple will stay married or get divorced. his test is right 80% to 90% of the time. just wanted to check and make sure that we were on schedule. the first technology of its kind...

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round two right now of our marriage conference. joining me is author of "the seven principles for making marria work," dr. john gottman. all right, you heard the big fuss about monogamy. does having a slip of paper saying you're married matter or is being in a committed relationship enough? >> it appears to confer a lot of good things. longevity, good health, children turn out better if you have children. if you have two parents than if you have one parent. it could be two gay parents, but it appears that a committed

relationship really gives people a lot. they're healthier, their immune system works better. so yeah, it is overwhelmingly the natural way that our species really works. >> how do you know if a couple is meant for each other or going to stay with each other? you said within 80% to 90% accuracy, how do you know? >> you can tell in the way they relate to each other. when they talk to each other about how their day went, there's interest and excitement and they're really good friends. when they argue, they present the problem as our problem as opposed to pointing their finger and saying, as far as i can tell, i'm the only perfect, you're defective. so that predicts the relationships that will break up. >> what do we do to fix it, then? this is good advice, because the divorce rate hovers around 50%,

so what are we doing wrong and how do we make it right? >> there are three things we need to do. one is we really need to stay good friends. we need to continue courting one another and loving one another and not leaving one another in pain for loneliness. the second thing is we need to deal with inevitable conflict constructively. and we have to realize when we create a relationship, we're building a life together with purpose and meaning. and we have to work on those three things. >> good information, dr. gottman. thanks for joining us. all right. we'll be right back after the break and we want our viewers to stay connected to cnn, even on the go. make sure you grab your mobile fun and go to cnn.com/tv.

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>> sometimes called a diva who defined the disco movement, donna summer died this week. lung cancer killed the 63-year-old but she wasn't a smoker. let's bring in the panel. what do you think donna summer meant to women in music, lz? >> wow. i mean, she was power, right? i mean, she was power. she was someone who wrote her own music, who talked about her sexuality in a way that was empowering. but she also talked about women's lives in ways out of the bedroom. i remember being a young kid and seeing her perform on the american music awards, singing "she works hard for her money." i'm listening to the chorus and not comprehending, but when i listened to the lyrics, i thought, this woman is talking more about disco dancing. >> she liberated a lot of women,

and, yeah, "she worked hard for the money," we know what that was about. when i hear her songs, it takes me back to the '70s when i was a young kid, listening to "bad girl," and "she works hard for her money." >> did you really do that, don? >> he still does that, i've seen him. listen, don, people didn't know she was multifaceted. i went to an art galley opening in the '80s and she had a whole display of her artwork. she worked in that median, as well. she was very talented. >> dean, you know nothing about disco, right? >> what are you talking about? this is the soundtrack of my childhood. "last dance" reminds me of every high school dance and it meant it was the last song and i had

to get the guts up to get a girl to dance with me. that's what i remember about that song "last dance." >> so you were a nerd? >> i was a nerd. >> and donna summer defined your time as a nerd. >> i'm on cnn on a saturday night. of course i'm a nerd, don. if i had a life, i would be out doing things. >> let's move on and talk about another feisty lady. we didn't know she was this feisty, halle barry. she had a bit of a meltdown on the paparazzi outside her daughter's school this week. and now she wants help from all places, the oval office. >> it's just wrong, wrong, wrong. i'm going to continue this fight and i'm going to -- i think i'm going to call obama and say look, can you help us? i know this seems like a little issue to you right now, but it's big in our lives. i think it's really important. >> that was a little tongue in

cheek there. >> she's kidding. >> but wendy, you're in l.a. you see this all the time. there's very little privacy. that comes along with being a star. but couldn't the kids be off limits? you can understand why she was ticked off. >> i can totally understand. that's why so many celebrities raise their kids in europe or spend a great deal of time there. here in l.a., these children are put in this fish bowl that they never asked for and it's unfair and absolutely dangerous, too, what lengths paparazzis will go

>> whb a reporter comes up and kisses you, it's redislouse. it's not defensible at all. >> did he overreact, lz? >> no, he didn't overreact. some dude trying to kiss you. he's a married man. i get it. will is fine. i'm going to put it out there, will is type. but you need to control yourself up on the red carpet. pull it back together, man. that was just wrong. >> hey, wendy, we've got to run. >> i had to stop myself from kissing him, but that's a boundary violation. >> thank you, guys. the president heads to the nato summit in chicago. waiting for him, protesters. more on that, next. it's happening now. mple of all our different items in our festival of shrimp. the crab-stuffed shrimp are awesome! tequila lime tacos. [ man ] delicious!

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i wouldn't be able to live. >> in the united states, there are at least 1.3 million children caring for someone who is ill or injured or elderly or disabled. they can become isolated. there are physical effects, the stresses of it, the worry. >> thank you, baby, thank you so much. >> but these children, people don't know they exist. i'm bringing this precious population into the light to transform their lives so that they can stay in school. we offer each child a home visit. we look at what we can provide to meet the needs. we go into the schools with a peer support group, and we offer school activities that gives the child a break. so they know that they're not alone.

we give them hope. >> now i'm getting a's and b's. and i feel more confidence. >> we have a long way to go. but there are more children that need this help and support. >> all right. get ready for one of the all-time favorite questions asked at a beauty pageant. take a listen to this. >> recent polls have shown a fifth of americans can't locate the u.s. on a world map. why do you think this is? >> okay. the answer to that question quite simply, one of the most memorable beauty pageant answers ever. that's next. let me show you something. [ dr. rahmany ] as soon as you leave here... plaque quickly starts to grow back. but now there's a way to keep the clean longer. introducing new crest pro-health clinical rinse. it's a clinical breakthrough that actually keeps your teeth 91% clean of plaque

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so the ms. universe contest got us thinking about some of the all-time greatest blunders. here is one of the best. >> i personally believe that u.s. americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and i believe our education, such as in south africa and -- >> and it goes on and on and on. let's hope jenna does better than that when she's asked those questions. thank you, guys. have a good night. see you soon. >> take care. thanks, don.