i've been flooded with

congratulations by e-mail from people all over the country, including many whom i don't know. saying thank you, god bless you. we're so happy you did this. >> mr. obama in the polls, before he endorsed same-sex marriage had been leading, within a small margin of error. now, in some polls it's showing it's neck and neck. and mitt romney may be ahead, as well. and with women. there's been a turnaround in polling with women. do you think that this is affecting the president's numbers? his endorsement of same-sex marriage? >> i wouldn't think so. it may do so. but i wouldn't think so. it's too far out. we're too far from election day, to be playing much reliance on these polls. give us a couple more months and we can say, yes. that's scary to hear or i'm happy to hear that. >> i think you bring up a good point. i think most people decide within a couple of weeks, days or hours before the election. just the same as before, they pick who the actual nominee's going to be, right?

then, everything is erased. and i think most people, you bring up a very good point that most people don't decide until really close to the election. and most of it is media, political fodder. i want to ask you, since we're talking about politics, i want to talk about this proposal that came up this week, super pac funded by -- proposal by billionaire joe rickets, to bring back the boogie man of 2008. that's jeremiah wright. what do you make of this? >> this is a part of the republican play book to wave the race card and wave it widely. reverend wright preaches no different than hundreds of black ministers. what he said and what we've seen in the videos about him, you would hear in many churches on sunday morning. many would say that's just the reverend. he's emotional and gets excited about these things. i think this is a pocket of

nothing. and i'm glad the man who was going to do it has backed away. he realized it was a mistake. and he's not going to do it. >> why would you think in a strategists, this was something we were talking about. this was so five years ago. why would -- why is -- why is reverend wright, the boogie man, a big enough boogie man for someone to bring him up again to scare away voters? or to scare republican voters or conservative voters into voting for mitt romney and not barack obama. >> most of us had never heard of reverend wright four years ago. and the republicans waved him in front of the electorate, saying this is an ugly man, a scary man, be afraid of him. and he's close to barack obama, so, watch out. none of that was true about him. obama never heard the sermons that reverend wright made. this is a mess in a small

teapot. but the republicans are good at this. waving the race card, talking about race, scaring people. and reverend wright, unfortunately, because he's a decent man. i know him. he's a fine man. reverend wright had contributed to this by the nature of his rhetoric, which is fine with me. you're saying there's no responsibility for reverend wright because things he's said are pretty coming. i did live in chicago at the time. i had gone there a couple times to do stories. you don't think he's responsible for some of the rhetoric himself, when he said if you listen to the sound bytes and some of the sermons he said? >> if you listen to the sound bytes, it may be scary to you. but if you listen to the whole of the sermon, it may be different to you. if you listen to him the time he gets up to the time he sits down, you will think, this is a thoughtful examination of our problems. >> julian bond, thank you. we're going to talk more about this with our political players. thanks, mr. bond.

next -- >> the need. >> american manufacturing companies. >> i want to thank you. >> enough already. the rhetoric heats up on the campaign trail. so does the bull. tonight, we cut right through it. this bowl of strawberries is loaded with vitamin c. and now, b vitamins to boot. coffee doesn't have fiber. unless you want it to. splenda® essentials™ are the first and only line of sweeteners with a small boost of fiber, or antioxidants, or b vitamins in every packet. mmm. same great taste with an added "way to go, me" feeling. splenda® essentials™. get more out of what you put in.

mitt romney insists he wants to talk about the economy and only the economy. but somehow, the focus seemed to stay on the president. let's revisit recent days. after the president's same-sex marriage announcement, "newsweek" labeled him the first gay president. the defeat of barack hussein obama. and even called him a metro sexual back abe lincoln. jeremiah wright, and to understand his influence on barack obama on the first time, in a big and arresting way. end quote. the jeremiah wright, the boogie man of the last presidential campaign. to the panel now. alex stewart first. you're a strategist and spokesperson for concerned women of america. if mitt romney wants everyone to focus on the economy and policy, why are romney's allies resurrecting the boogie man of

2008 again? >> well, you know the details behind this. this was an ad proposal, brought about by fred davis, presented to rickets, who was going to be the money man behind this. but rickets didn't want anything to do with it. governor romney says he repudiates the idea of doing this. he doesn't want to focus on reverend wright. he wants to focus on the economy. he has rolled out his first ad. he would prove the keystone pipeline. also, rewarding job creators. those are the ads he wants to focus on. this plan by fred davis is something he repudiated right off the bat. >> i want you to focus on this. the campaign, not the administration, they criticize romney for his tepid response. and he had to come back and be stronger about that. do you think that was fair? >> i think the fact he has come out, right off the bat or a

while later, he repudiated his ad proposal. we're having a full argument about a nonad campaign when it never got off the ground and never will get off the ground. this is an idea that was proposed and leaked by "the new york times." this is the last we'll hear of this idea. and will go into the great ad ideas. >> elyse grammerson, i have the same question for you. add to it a little bit. do you think it's convenient sometimes when the right doesn't want to -- they want to focus on the economy. they focus on the economy. when they don't want to, they bring other things into the equation. do you agree with what alice said? >> yeah, for the most part. although, you know, the reason why this ad was in discussion is a couple of reasons. one, they don't feel if romney stuck with the economy, that romney will win the election. they're coming up with other things to shore up his weakness in that area.

and they think it's going to work. there still is that fear that president obama dun have his eyes set out for the entire country. but just a particular segment of the population. and they want to play on that idea. >> dean, i'm going to read this to you. this is a video -- this is going to be a video. customs score up. calm male voice, v.o., jon voight. then has a question overlook. did we overlook troubling signs? his spiritual mentor for decades, jeremiah wright. not god bless america. god damn america. i understand what alice is saying. i agree with her. it is a distraction in many ways. then, you wonder, why would people think that bringing up something like this, why would this be helpful to anyone. >> i think, if it would work, he

would do it. let's be honest about the economy. i want someone to go on tv, romney or president obama, saying we don't have a silver bullet answer. and the economy would be going. am some point, romney has to go to social issues. >> do we have the romney sound byte? let's roll it. >> i'm not sure which is worse. him listening to reverend wright. or him saying that we must be a less christian nation. >> exactly. exactly. that's exactly the point. he brought it up on his own in february on sean hannity's show. i have no doubt, mitt romney, the man will say anything to get elected. i know we say that about politicians. but he would use jeremiah wright, if he thought it would work. but it can't.

president obama is isn't an unknown commodity now. he has a record to run on. >> the thing that's interesting. >> go ahead, l.z. then, alice. >> the thing i found interesting, too, i doubted that romney wanted to have this discussion. >> about religion. >> especially about religion. herman cain said what influence did sitting in front of jeremiah wright have on the president. and romney was 31 before, the mormons allowed black people to serve in leadership in his church. 20 years has what to bring forth in a president. what does 31 years look like on a presidential candidate? i don't think he wants to have that conversation. >> i don't think mitt romney wants to wade into the religion pool, especially with mormonism and all of that. go ahead. >> it's not even that issue at all.

what we're talking about is people already know about reverend wright. they know what he said about america and president obama sat in his church 20 years during some of the most influential times, when he shaped his political mind and his mindset. and they got past that. it was not a factor in 2008. and to dean's point this is not about reverend wright. this is going to be a reflection of president obama's record. what he's done as president of the united states. and how his policies have failed to make things better for the american people. all this is a distraction and a side show from what people are really concerned about. and who is going to be the best person to create jobs and turn the economy around. >> all right, alice. just for time purposes here, short answers. we want to get to a whole lot. does this, alice, highlight the impact of super pacs on this year's campaign? super pacs, that's a new thing. all this money that's going into this. if the campaigns had tighter

restraint on who put the ads out, might they not have this problem? >> as you know, there can be no coordination between the campaigns and the super pacs. as we said before this, was an idea to put out there, tossed out there to see how it would play. before it came to fruition, governor romney repudiated the idea on it. we need to be focusing on positive ads and focusing on what they can do to make things better, as opposed to tearing down the opposition. and the super pacs contribute to that. a head shake, if you agree? we have to move on. >> super pacs are horrible. we should talk the whole show about super pacs. >> i said a head nod, dean. you have a hard head. you don't listen to anything. thank you, guys.

some of you will be back. others will be gone. thank you very much. >> thanks, don. good night. a little politics. next, a big pageantry. let me read this for you. there she is. there she is. your deal, walking on air. she is the fairest of the fair. that's from the miss america pageant. four years ago, this miss was a mister. her story is next. i think we should see other people. in fact, i'm already seeing your best friend, justin. ♪ i would've appreciated a proactive update on the status of our relationship. who do you think i am, tim? quicken loans? at quicken loans, we provide you with proactive updates on the status of your home loan. and our innovative online tools ensure that you're always in the loop. one more way quicken loans is engineered to amaze.

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we were wondering tonight, if it would matter to you, if your miss universe, tiara and sash, wasn't exactly a miss. what if miss universe, at some point in her life, was a mister? this woman is the reason we're talking about it. her name is jenna talackova. she's tall, blonde and gorgeous. and get this, jenna talackova

was not born a girl. her very presence on stage right now is the end of a long, legal battle. cnn's paula newton in toronto. paula, the pageant happening right now. do you have early results? how is she doing? >> she made it to the final 12. she looked surprised herself but incredibly pleased. they're having an evening gown portion of this competition right now. everyone though she said she's in it to win it, i think she would be quite happy with the results so far. we heard from some family members out here, once it was announced. that that backlash is starting to happen. some people are saying, i don't know how she made it to be a finalist if she's not even really a woman. jenna talackova and her family members will take great offense to that and many other people. right now, it's a reality of a controversial situation, with miss talackova, pushing the envelope with this type of

competition. >> you're going to keep us updated and let us know what's going on there? >> will do. >> the miss universe pageant rejected her involvement. and initially, so did some of her contestants. >> i'm really impressed. not a lot of people can get that on their first try. >> 2011 miss georgia. you were born a woman. >> you know, that's what the doctor tells me. i'm going to go with it. >> you have a great sense of humor. we're sitting here joking about it. it's all in good fun. this is the crown. >> that's the crown i won in november. >> you have mixed feelings about the story? >> i was, at first. she's recognized as a woman in canada. even her birth certificate says it.

i don't have a problem with her competing. she's a woman. she's legally recognized that way. >> you heard what paula newton said. she said that some people were kind of upset. you know? we don't know how she got to be in the final 12. they're kind of upset. what do you make of that? is it ignorance? >> i think everyone's entitled to their opinion. and i don't think anyone can be 100% right or wrong in this situation. but jenna's doing what's right for jenna. i got chills when i saw the replay of the video. you can tell she was shocked. she got to the front of the stage. she did that little hip pop. i think she's more prepared than people think she is. she's ready. serious what it is. i'm going to bring in these guys. comedian and contributor, dean.

and wendy walsh. wendy and dean, let me say, wendy, you were in beauty pageants. i said, this is my sort of -- this is mi sort of male neanderthal -- beauty pageants isn't a right. who would want to enter a beauty pageant anyway. i want to see a transgender secretary of state not in a beauty pangn't. is that a buy yos on my part? >> of course it is. anybody can be what they want to be, don. we have to look at what our definition of gender is. there aren't just two genders. we talk about this all the time. it's a big, wide scale. where do we draw the line. >> don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that she -- i believe in transgender rights. what i'm saying is, some people find these beauty pageants superficial. there were people in the room who said, are these beauty pageants, do they do this anymore.

i know you take offense to that. >> absolutely, i would take offense to this. this is a job opportunity. you're working for donald trump. and you have international exposure. these girls are not stupid. there's all types of stereotypes. but we're hard-working girls. >> school me. dean, what do you say to that? their working for donald trump. >> doing a good thing. the media whore doing something positive. not because he wants to. it's great publicity for the pageant. there's an evolution. going back. what she just said about a job opportunity. that's exactly it subpoena only 15 states right now in the united states that protect people who go through sex change operations. so, it is a struggle for people like that. this is great. this is a job opportunity. she shouldn't be discriminated against. doesn't mean she's going to win. just give her a shot. that's it. >> listen, you should see some

of the things that people are saying about this it's destroying society, blah, blah, blah. on and on. >> she's kind of hot. i'll be honest with you. that's great surgery. i don't know who the surgeon is. he should get on tv or something. that surgeon's amazing. >> people are afraid, don. they're just afraid. >> where are the before pictures? >> listen, she's a beautiful, young lady. and my thing is not about transgender people. it's about beauty pageants. >> right. >> she has schooled me here. now, i've evolved on the issue. >> if jenna gets nothing out of this, she's a role model for transgender people everywhere. and she's already won in my eyes. >> thank you, guys. appreciate it. and the beauty pageant contestant, as well, wendy walsh. and dean, i'm sure he was in some sort of beauty pageant. he ain't pretty. but he's kind of smart. so, we keep him. >> living in sin. shacking up.

whatever you call it, not married. france's new president has a live. in girlfriend. will that fly her? maybe they're on to something, i think.

more of the stories you're talking about. first, the news you need to know right now. in chicago today, three men busted for what prosecutors call acts of domestic terrorism. they face a judge, who set their bail at $1.5 million each. police say they were stockpiling firebombs and weapons and planning to use them in chicago this weekend. that's where world leaders are gathering for a nato summit that kicks off on sunday. all right, this just in. mark zuckerberg is having quite the week. today, facebook founder, married long-time girlfriend, priscilla chan. the newlyweds announced the wedding, where else? on facebook. on monday, he turned 28 years old. on friday, facebook went public, making zuckerberg worth more than $19 billion. congratulations to the lovely

couple. we'll share in the wealth. okay, so. i'll have another is a win. one win away from horse racing's triple crown. i'll have another. the kentucky derby winner took the preakness today. the 3-year-old was purchased last year for 35,000 bucks. no horse has won the triple crown in 34 years. marriage. marriage is what brings us together today. marriage -- >> okay. i don't know what that was. but anyway, our panel is here again. and we're talking marriage. dean obeidallah, wendy walsh, joining us. and from los angeles, steve santagatti. i didn't screw your name up. steve is the author of the manual, a true bad boy, explains

how men think, date and mate. all right. we look at the definition of monogamy. it's not what you might think. the second part of the definition does not mention anything about marriage, at all. all right? it says, here's what's marriage is. monogamy is about marriage. i thought it was about being in one relationship at a time. steve, the -- i got to tell you guys this. i wrote about this when we talked -- show the panel again. i want to see their reactions. i wrote about this when -- about same-sex marriage. and i said, not every gay person wants to get married. i joke with my friends. what's wrong with my people? why do they want to get married? you want alimony, job support. what's part of the fun of not getting married? i kid. >> right. >> is marriage a thing of the past, steve? >> you know, it doesn't make sense that you and -- if i go

out with a woman and we're in a relationship, and it implodes, that someone else is going to come in and tell me how much i owe her. keep your life simple. don't sign contracts you can't keep up with. and think it through. >> preach, steve. >> hallelujah. >> wendy. >> don't let me -- >> let him have it. >> wendy's not married, either. >> let me tell you this. steve doesn't have a womb. he doesn't breast-feed and he doesn't have a fertility window. let me tell you this, if you choose to do it -- there's more chance you're going to break up before your children are 12. if you live together, there's far more chance you will not get married ever. there's a lot of great things about marriage. but the main thing is, it's the best nest we have right now to raise children in a healthful way. i'm not pro-marriage for everybody.

it's not about co-mingling assets. or somebody worried about cheating. i'm worried about how do we make the best nest to raise the next generation of americans. >> who says you have to have -- >> so far, marriage is better. >> go ahead, steve. >> who says you have to have children? not everybody wants children. >> i said. >> but a lot of people get married. >> you want to have serial monogamy, you can. but marriage is about having children these days. >> steve, just say yes, dear. wendy's going to kill me for that. >> i trained you well, don. >> but listen, dean, they bring up some good points. but i wondered about this. the french president has chosen to live with his long-term girlfriend. she's even been called france's first girlfriend. would that happen in the united states? >> i don't think so. we've had unmarried presidents before. >> not modern day, we haven't.

and think about it, his last girlfriend, president hollande, had for 30 years. so, he's never marrying this girl. i want to get back to the point of monogamy. there's only 12 or 18 species that believe in monogamy. so, monogamy's unnatural. the black culture, if one cheats. if you cheat, we will kill you. infer dellty goes down. if you cheat, i'm going to kill you, just like that. >> you are lucky -- let me tell you, guys. steve, you're in the same city as wendy, right? >> he's in the next room, don. don't you worry. i'm after him after this. >> have mercy on him. dean, you're lucky you're thousands of miles away from wendy. or else, you might be in for something from wendy, as well. >> don't go anywhere. hang on, guys. my next guest says he can tell if a couple gets married or stays divorced.

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round two right now of our marriage conversation. and joining me now is dr. john gotman. he's the author of "seven principles for making marriage work." does having a slip of paper that says you're legally married really matter? or is being in a committed relationship enough? is that enough? >> it appears to really confer a lot of very good things. longevity, good health. children turn out better if you have children, with two parents than one parent. it can be two lesbian parents or gay parents. but it appears that a committed relationship really gives people a lot. they're healthier. their immune system works better. i would say, yeah, overwhelmingly, the natural way that our species really works. >> how do you know if a couple is meant for each other, going

to stay together? i think you said within 80% to 90% accuracy, you can tell. how do you know? >> you can tell in the way they relate to each other. you know, when they talk to each other about how their day went, you know, there's interest and excitement. and they're really good friends. when they argue, they present the problem as our problem, as opposed to pointing the finger at their partner and saying, as far as i can tell, i'm the only perfect. but you're defective. so, criticism. contempt. those things really predict the relationships that are going to break up. >> all right. so, what do we do to fix it then? >> this is good advice for couples. our divorce rate hovers around 50%. what are we doing wrong? and how do we make it right? >> there's three things we need to do. we need to stay good friends. we need to continue courting one another and loving one another. and not leaving one another in pain or loneliness. the second thing is we have to

deal with inevitable conflict constructively. when we create a relationship, we're building a life together, with purpose and meaning. we have to work on those three things. >> all right. dr. gottman, good information. thank you. hope we can get it right. 50%, that's not so good. thanks for joining us. all right. we're going to be right back after the break. we want our viewers to stay connected to cnn, even on the go. grab your mobile phone and go to cnn.com/tv.

it was the last dance this week, for a special lady, revered by many. ♪ last dance last chance for love ♪ >> sometimes called the diva who defined the disco movement, donna summer died this week. lung cancer killed the 63-year-old singer. but she wasn't a smoker. let's bring in the panel right

here. dean is here. l.z.'s here. and wendy is here, as well. what do you think donna summer went to women in music? l.z.? >> wow. i mean, she was power. she was power. she was someone who wrote her own music, who talked about her sexuality in a way in a was empowering. but she also talked about women's lives in ways that was out of the bedroom. i can remember being a young kid and seeing her perform on the american music awards. she did "she works hard for the money." in first, i'm just a kid. i'm listening to the chorus. and i'm not comprehending what she's saying. but when i saw the theatrics of it all and listened to the lyrics, this woman is talking about more than just disco dancing. >> she liberated a lot of women. >> yeah. "she works hard for the money." you know what it's about when you saw the video, wendy. when i hear her songs, it takes me back to a whole other time. it takes me back to the '70s.

i was a young kid. listening to "last dance," "she works hard for the money." and -- ♪ bad girls >> a lot of people don't know she was a multitalented artist. i've seen him do that. people didn't know she was multifacetted. i went to an art gallery opening in the late, early '90s. and she had a gallery of her artwork. she was a visual artists and worked in that medium, as well. she was a very talented woman. >> dean, you know nothing about disco, right? >> it was the music to my childhood. it was the only music i knew. "last dance" reminded me of every high school dance. i had to get the guts to go up and ask a girl to dance with me. i would go up sweating. that's what i remember vividly about "last dance." it was time to put up or shut up. >> you were a nerd.

and donna summer defines your era as a nerd. >> i'm on cnn on a saturday night. of course, i'm a nerd, dan. if i had a life, i'd be out doing things. >> as long as you're not sweaty. >> let's move on and talk about another feisty lady. we didn't know she was this feisty, halle berry. the actress had a meltdown on the paparazzi outside of her daughter's school this week. and now, she wants help, from all places, the oval office. >> it's wrong. and i'm going to continue this fight. i think i'm going to call obama and said, look. can you help us. >> what's up? >> i know this seems like a little issue to you right now. but it's big in our lives. and our lives at the school and our children being protected, i think is really important. >> that was a little tongue in cheek there. she's kidding. wendy, you're out in l.a. you see this all the time. there's very little privacy. listen, that comes along with being a star.

shouldn't the kids be off-limits? you can understand why she was ticked off. >> can i totally understand. that's why so many celebrities raise their kids in europe or spend a great deal of time there. it's because here in l.a., the children, the innocent, little children are put in a fish bowl they never asked for. it's unfair and dangerous what lengths paparazzis will go through. i am all behind halle. call him. i'm with you, girl. >> l.z., she was doing the whole thing. wait a minute. she went off like a momma, right? >> she went off. but, listen. leave the call obama thing out of it. you know what? a lot of celebrities are caught in the paparazzi themselves and make sure they show up in certain places. when you look someone is showing themselves naked on covers, pregnant, or my first baby photo. let's not pretend these are helpless celebrities that are in

this. i'm not feeling the whole, we're trapped sort of thing. >> only if it's crucial, dean. we have another topic. is it crucial? >> do the other one. >> dean, thanks for joining us. get out of here. our next topic is will smith. i don't know if you saw this. and the male reporter who tried to, um, lock lips with the movie star. here it is. >> oh, my god. >> what the hell is your problem? oh. that was smith in moscow for the premiere of "men in black 3." and the ukrainian reporter, getting fresh with him. that is his thing. he tries to kiss celebrities. he got a little smack there. >> that was a fine reaction. he didn't punch him. he looked shocks. that's worse than taking a picture of your child, when a reporter comes up and kisses you.

it's ridiculous. let's get a camera in his mouth. it's not defensible at all. >> did he overreact, l.z.? >> no. he didn't overreact. some dude tries to kiss you. he's a married man. i get it. will is fine. i'm going to put it out there. will is fine. but you need to control yourself on the red carpet. pull it back together, man. that was just wrong. >> wendy, we've got to run. >> i would stop myself from kissing him. you do. that's a boundary violation. absolutely. >> thank you, guys. the president heads to the nato summit in chicago. waiting for him protesters. what makes a sleep number store different? you walk into a conventional mattress store, it's really not about you. they say, "well, if you wanted a firm bed you can lie on one of those. if you want a soft bed you can lie on one of those." we provide the exact individualization that your body needs.

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i tell you what i can spend. i do my best to make it work. i'm back on the road safely. and i saved you money on brakes. that's personal pricing.

are you okay? let me help you. >> my mom has been sick for as long as i can remember. we need more methadone. helping her out is a bigger priority than going to school because i don't know what i would do if something happened with her. how we'd be able to really live. >> in the united states, there's at least 1.3 million children caring for someone who is ill or injured or elderly or disabled.

they can become isolated. there's physical effects. the stresses of it. and the worry. >> thank you so much. >> but these children suffer silently. people don't know they exist. i'm connie siskowski. i'm bringing this precious population into the light, to transform their lives so they can stay in school. i offer each child a home visit. has a ramp been helpful? we look at what we can provide to meet their need. we go into the schools with a peer support group. and we offer, out-of-school activities. that gives the child a break so they know they're not alone. it gives them hope for their future. >> now, i'm getting "as" and "bs." i feel more confident.

>> we have a long way to go. there's so many more children that need this help and support. all right. get ready for one of the all-time favorite questions asked at a beauty pageant. take a listen to this. >> recent polls have shown one-fifth of americans can't locate the u.s. on a world map. why do you think this is? >> the answer to that question, quite simply, one of the most memorable beauty pageant answers ever. that's next.

so, the miss universe candidate contest got us thinking about some of the all-time greatest blunders by beauty queens. >> i personally believe that u.s. americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps. and i believe that our education, such as in south africa and -- >> and it goes on and on and on. let's keep jenna talackova does better than that, when she's asked those questions. thank you, guys. have a good night. i'll see you soon. tonight the exclusive interview three years in the making. the one person who knew michael jackson better than anybody else. his mother, katherine. >> every morning, all through