yemen and syria. that, as you just saw, played out live here on cnn changed in matter of moments. now more on the confessions of congressman anthony weiner in captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to "the report." thank you very much. oh, yeah, i gotcha.

[audience chanting "stephen"] thank you, folks. [cheers and applause] thank you. please. thank you for joining us. good to have you with us. i'm glad you're as excited as i am because, nation, the 2012 republican presidential race is heating up faster than a slice of godfather's pizza. [laughter] mostly because former godfather's c.e.o. herman cain has fired up his liberal burning oven. they love him in new hampshire, but iowa republicans have eyes on cain, too, and not just because before they recognized him they were about to call security. [laughter] yesterday... yesterday cain wowed an iowa crowd by calling obama care a drain on our nation's resources and on our printer to toner. jim? >> don't try to pass a 2,700-page bill. and even they didn't read it.

that's why i'm going to only allow small bills. three pages. >> stephen: yeah, three pages. why did overhauling a $2.5 trillion industry and ensuring that every american has access to affordable health care have to be so complicated? it's not rocket science. oh, and incidentally, rocket scientists, your proposal for the mars mission, keep it short. [laughter] mostly pictures. and folks, when it comes to health care, i say we should listen to the man who made his fortune selling bacon cheeseburger pizza. americans don't have time to read complex legislation. they're too busy getting their hearts restarted. president cain will not tolerate legislation longer than a pizza menu. plus every budget item will come with soup, salad and unlimit breadsticks. the point is, the pilot is anything over three pages is too long for our attention spans. i think i -- oh, i'm going to

get you. i'm going to get you. come on. get over here. come on. [laughter] where was i? right. okay. no bill worth passing should be more than three pages. i'm looking at you, u.s. constitution. [laughter] four pages? hey, founding fathers, establish a more perfect union or get off the pot. and herman cain cane and i are both no fans of slavery, but the emancipation proclamation was five pages. how much ink does it take to say, "you're free now. we'll fix segregation later? " and folks, if short is good, shorter is better. so if anyone wants my vote, they must pledge to repeal and replace obama's health care bill with this republican health plan haiku. [laughter]

blood in the urine. a tingling down the left arm. walk it off, grandma. [cheers and applause] hold on a minute, folks. i have to take a break for my favorite mid-show snack. jelly belly jellybeans. i love them because you can combine them to create new flavors. for instance, you mix margarita with pina colada and strawberry daiquiri and you get regrettable spring break. [laughter] and these sugary legumes hail from the subject of my 434-part series better know a district. tonight california's 10th, the fighting 10th. [cheers and applause]

the 10th, the 10th contains the town of walnut creek, which settlers originally called "nuts creek" but later changed it to avoid confusion with the nearby village of testicle falls. [laughter] meanwhile, in nearby livermore is the liver moore national laboratory, home of the world's most powerful laser, and more than a quadrillion watts. it is able to scan groceries as far away as ohio. [laughter] speaking of bright things, the livermore firehouse contains the world's longest-burning lightbulb, which has been illuminated for over a century. evidently the towns lack sufficient people of any ethnicity or hair color to change it. [laughter] on june 18th, the bulb will celebrate its 110th birthday, so bravo. oh, my god. what have i done? and who has the buttered popcorn

jellybeans to represent nuts creek? it's democrat and rejected microsoft word font john garimendi. i recently sat down with congressman garimendi in his washington office. congressman garimendi, thank you so much for talking to me today. >> delighted to be with you. >> can i call you gary? >> i don't think so. >> stephen: gary, tell me about the fighting 10th. >> the fighting 10th is one of the most interesting districts in california. we have one of the largest air bases in america, travis air force base in fairfield. >> stephen: you always have a budweiser brewery in your district. >> i do. >> stephen: what's up. what's up, congressman? you want the try one? what's up. >> i'll pass. >> stephen: okay. good luck with reelection. >> thank you. >> stephen: what's it like to live in the 10th district? >> terrific. >> stephen: do you live in the 10th district, sir? >> no, my front yard is in the district, but not my home. >> stephen: i just asked you what it's like to live in the 10th district and you said

it's great, but you don't even live there. >> i do remember the area, i just don't live in it. >> stephen: so how long have you lived in the third district? >> 36 years. >> stephen: the 10th is a nice place to represent but you wouldn't want to live there. that's what you're saying. >> no. >> stephen: you and your rich buddies in the 3rd clearly look down on the 10th. >> no. >> stephen: [in english accent" i don't mind representing them, but i won't want to live. there bradley, bring me more caviar. >> actually, the 3rd is not a wealthy district? >> why do you live there? >> just happens that the district line is... >> stephen: on another subject, you opposed proposition 8, correct? >> yes. >> stephen: so if i wanted to marry man, you'd support it? >> yes. >> stephen: so if you were gay and if i were gay, would you marry me?

>> i'm not sure you're my type. [laughter] don't take that as an insult. >> stephen: why should i? why should i take that as an insult. you get the courage up to ask somebody to marry you and they don't even have to think about it. they just say no. [laughter] if you think i'm fat, just say so. >> you're not. >> stephen: just say it. you're not going to hurt my feelings. >> i have another image in mind. >> stephen: is it allen? >> it's patty. >> stephen: let's move on. you don't want to deal with the issue. you have a strong environmental record. >> you can call me a "tree hugger." >> stephen: you ever go further than that, a little under the leaf, over the bark action? >> no. >> stephen: do you support man-tree marriage. >> man-tree marriage? stoop steep yes. >> stephen: you support gay marriage, man and man, why not man and a tree. where do you draw the line? >> i think you just did. >> trees are men, flowers are

girls. marrying a tree is essentially marrying a gay plant. i think i made my point. >> i don't think so. >> you are on the house armed services committee, correct? >> that's correct. >> >> stephen: you were given the option to see photos of bin laden's body. >> right, right. tell me about it. what did it look like? >> i didn't see the photos and have no desire to do some i'm quite satisfied he's dead. >> stephen: can i have your pass? >> no, you cannot. >> stephen: because i do a pretty good john garimendi. "i'm john garimendi. i run this district. i don't live in it. yeah." >> i think you have the wrong accent, but you're good. >> stephen: that was actually my de niro. [in english accent] i'm john garimendi here to see the photographs. bring me the photograph, bradley. >> i think you're way off base. >> stephen: you sponsored the west coast ocean protect act of 2011 prohiblghting the coast of drilling off the coast of

california, oregon and washington. >> true. >> stephen: you also voted for house amendment 773, ending the moratorium on deep-water drilling rigs in the gulf. >> okay. >> stephen: so you don't want people drilling off the coast of california, but you voted to lift a moratorium on drilling in the gulf of mexico. >> under certain circumstances, high safety standards, yes, that's good. >> stephen: so drill off somebody else's coast. >> gulf of mexico is an appropriate place to explore and drill for oil. >> stephen: why? because they already have an oil spill? why let them drill there and not off california. >> because we already had our oil spill and we don't need to have another. >> stephen: [in english accent] don't drill off my backyard. do you know the phrase "not in my backyard"? now your backyard isn't in your district, so does that apply to you? >> not really. >> stephen: let's go back to something we talked about before. what's up. thanks for coming out of the

3rd to represent the 10th. >> always a pleasure. >> stephen: put california's 10th up on the big board. oh, looks like that lying bulb finally blew. we'll be right back. [cheers and applause] [cheers an]

>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much. folks, i did not want to talk racket weiner-gate tonight. i was planning to report on the

debt ceiling and ben ber nab i can's recent statements on monetary policy, but every time i think i'm out, it drags me back in. i guess any object of this mass and density has its own gravitational pull. now, there has been a few new developments over here. everybody knows the man who broke the story, blogger andrew brithney goodwin has -- andrew breitbart has a more graphic photo of the weiner peener, but he's not going to release it because he's a good guy. >> i have this photo, but i'm not doing this for nefarious purposes. i'm trying no do the decent thing here. i'm trying to do the decent thing here and not release the photo. i'm doing this to save his family, okay. >> stephen: that is called ethics, folks. and today this good man cemented his journalistic credibility by appearing on america's most trusted name in news, the "opie and anthony" radio show. he bravely resisted their request to show the photo.

>> we'd like the see the photo. >> you want to? >> stephen: i'm sure you want to, opie and anthony. too bad this man has staked his reputation on the moral choice to keep this private for the man's family. >> that's the famous... >> that's the real one? >> stephen: okay. he didn't resist for long, but you got the think, that thing is burning a hole in his pocket. speaking of which, here's the photo. [audience reacts] it's a little blurry. i wish it was blurrier frankly. it's blurry because it's a phone photo that andrew breitbart had his phone that "opie and anthony" took a on phone photo . you get the idea. i don't know if weiner is going to resign. that's up to the voters in his district to decide. but when they step into that voting booth to yank that lever,

i'm pretty sure this is what's going to come to mind. if i was his opponent, i'd have them all painted pink. now, for those of you at home who cannot see it at all, i'll just say, anthony weiner has captured the manscaping vote. i mean, that's not just grooming that. is a scorched earth policy he's going on there. that is... this area down here, that is what sherman did to atlanta. but this is not why i'm talking about this. i am talking about this again because once again i am the story. apparently congressman weiner also engaged in facebook sex with a las vegas blackjack dealer, who claimed she told weiner, "i was so psyched to see you on "colbert." you were so funny, to which he says, "you watch it naked"?

and she says, "ha ha, of course." oh, oh, oh, my god. oh, oh. oh, my god. oh. [cheers and applause] oh. brrr. it took me a year to get the spitzer off me. [laughter] and in the space of the last two weeks i find out that hugh hefner and anthony weiner have both used my show as an aphrodisiac. i feel like an oyster. and then she said, "to get us in the mood, first we watch "the daily show" and "the colbert report," or if this is not your thing, we can just get drunk and have mad, passionate sex." he said, "why choose? we many behind you, can't we both watch "the daily show"? [laughter and applause]

oh, my stars. anthony weiner is proposing he's doing it doggie during "the daily." congressman weiner, you better not try any of that preversion with my show. this is family program and must only be viewed from the missionary position. we'll be right back. [cheers and applause] >> stephen,

everybody. my guest tonight is the co-founder of a machine who prints three dimensional copies. please welcome bre pettis. hey. thanks for coming on. okay. okay, sir, you are the co-founder of maker bought. >> that is a maker bot right there. >> stephen: by 3-d printing, you make a copy of a three dimensional object and you can send that information, you know, like over the wire, over telegraph machine. [laughter] and then somebody gets this on their computer, and that can put that information into a maker bot and make a copy of something half a world away. what are you making in there right now? >> your head.

>> stephen: two days ago you came here with lasers and put corn starch on my head and then scanned my head to get a three dimensional rendering of my face, and now you're making it live right there. >> right there. >> stephen: you made a few already. this is one right there. look at that. they even... you even got the color right. this seems to have unbelievable implications. this is an actual 3-d rendering of my head you made small. is there anything you couldn't reproduce? >> it's one of those things where having maker bot means you can make almost anything from like a bathtub to a birthday present. so it's pretty handy actually. >> stephen: the thing that gets me, this material, this is pretty tough.

what it is? >> it's abs, the same material lego is made out of. it's strong. >> stephen: right now we rely on the chinese for our little plastic pieces of crap. >> yes. [laughter] no longer. >> stephen: you do not have to rely on the chinese for your plastic pieces of crap because what's cheaper than a chinese worker, a robot. all we need is the design and then maker bot will make it? >> that's right. >> stephen: how much does this cost? >> this is $1,2 9. then you can make anything up to about this size. >> stephen: some other things you made, my head as an eagle. with the capital dome in its claws. this one is actually quite terrifying. that's me as a teddy bear.

okay. this is colbert. now this thing, what is this thing? >> that's the material going in there. so this is the plastic. it goes in here, gets heated up, moves around and builds it up later. >> stephen: it's like a hot glue gun eventually. >> it's like what a calculator is to a computer what a hot glue gun is to a maker bot. >> stephen: the hot glue gun stays in its own spot and the bottom moves around so it builds it up layer by layer. how accurate can you be with this? >> it's down to just microns, but you have layer height of about one-third of a millimeter. so it's on your nose. >> stephen: it's larger than one-third of a millimeter, i'll have you know. where do people get designs to make it with? >> we have a site where people make awesome designs and share them and you can download them and print them out.

>> stephen: how do you plug it in here? >> an sd card, like the way you plug enter a camera. you plug it in. >> stephen: then it makes the thing on that card. >> that's right. >> stephen: so if i have something broken at my home and someone else has what i need 10,000 miles away, they can scan the thing and i can make it here? >> yeah. and, you know, it's really handy, like say you need new shower curtain ring, row can just print out new shower curtain rings and you don't have to take a bath at that point. [laughter] >> stephen: how will you make your money, just like copiers, your going to get us on the toner, aren't you? >> we'll resist that temptation. >> stephen: bre pettis, thank you so much. >> my pleasure. >> stephen: bre pettis, maker bot industries. we'll be right back. >> stephen:.

well, that's it for "the report." we're going to put the file of my head up and you can edit it to improve or add to the looks of my head and put those files back up and we'll make them on our maker bot. good luck. and good night.captioning sponsy comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh