once again for a person on their first day so let's take it. >> ann curry. >> that was it. >> the condition that we usually play a longer piece. but that's it. >> you know what,. >> captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause )

stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: bell come to the report, everybody. thank you for joining us. you know with that pulsing rhythm of your chant, you just make me want to ballroom dance. folks, as you know i'm a huge fan of the basketball. it's the orange one, right, the big-- (laughter) >> stephen: tonight, of course, it was game five of the nba finals. i haven't seen it yet because this show tapes before the big game but let me be the first to say, wow. (laughter) can you believe all that dribbling?

they just never stop doing that. what a rousing basketball-filled contest. (laughter) >> stephen: but first i want to address some other big nba news that happened just last week. jim? >> after 19 years i'm announcing my retirement from professional basketball. >> stephen: incidentally, since he made that announcement shaq's free throw percentage has actually gone up. (laughter) >> stephen: shaq has had an incredible career. fifth highest scorer in nba history, four championship rings, all time leader in the number of nick names. >> so in light of today i'm retiring all of my nick names, the shaq foo, the big shamrock, the big cactus, the diesel. >> stephen: and it's just in time. we were running low on nick names for anthony weiner's penis. so-- (cheers and applause) that is the big diesel.

so congratulations, shaq. now we have time to return to your first love, acting. i look forward to seeing you in the long-awaited sequel, kazam m-2, see it or i'll make kaza m-3. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: we will have no more on shaq later in the broadcast. (laughter) >> stephen: folks, this week a lot of stories got overshadowed by anthony weiner's penis. so i-- that was not the version i was expecting. (laughter) >> stephen: i must say. oh, that can go. so i have yet to address the big election news. last week mitt romney went to new hampshire and declared his intentions. >> i'm mitt romney, i believe in america. and i am running for president of the united states. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: mitt romney may not be my favorite candidate but i can say this, he's also not my second or third favorite candidate.

(laughter) >> stephen: he's hovering about five or six depending on whether ted nugent jumps in. ♪ . >> stephen: he is the only candidate whose health plan covers cat scratch fever. the problem is as a mormon, romney's not allowed to have alcohol, caffeine or charisma. (laughter) romney couldn't even keep the attention of the cameraman. there's mitt making his announcement that he's running-- and we've lost the cameraman. okay, i know it's-- white and it's large. he wants the other white thing. pan down, there we go, oh, we've lost him again. come on, he's going to be president, pan down there you go, there it is. okay. now zoom in, zoom in on mitt and we've lost him again. okay, come on, come on, focus, there it is. now grab the lens, twist it, zoom in on the guy who's talking, zoom n let's see the face of the next

president of the united states. you can do it. come on, wake up, there we go. there's the man. there's mitt. all right now just focus on the-- okay, we've lost-- we've lost-- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: okay. he found something more interesting. if i were mitt romney i would give my next speech at a turtleneck factory. still, evidently somebody likes romney. >> the latest fox news poll shows mitt romney maintaining a healthy 10 point lead over the rest of the 2012 presidential field. >> new poll finds romney breaking away from the pack with 25% support among republicans. the rest of the canadians are in single digits.çó >> stephen: and if history is any guide, no matter how much they des piece their party's front-runner, republican voters eventually do the right thing. close their eyes, hold their nose, get in that booth and yank the lever. just like they have sex. (laughter)

and if mitt romney does get the nomination, i will support him because he's got a built-in selling point. and it's the subject of tonight's word. (cheers and applause) the business end.ñr folks. the economy is tanking and everybody knows why. barack obama has fewer people private sector business experience in his cabinet than any president in a hundred years. >> this president is the most anti-business president we've ever had. >> i think he and those who surround him to advise him do not know how to run a business. >> stephen: yes, a president needs to be a good businessman. look at lincoln. he had no business experience, and when he man's pated the slaves unemployment shot through the roof. now mitt-- (laughter) >> stephen: mitt romney has the business experience to lead usñr out of the obama session before it becomes a

full blown obama-pression and we all end up oba-- bamless living in the street bama. >> i helped turned around businesses in trouble. i also as you know took over the olympics when they were in trouble and helped get them back on track. >> people see a guy who has been a can-do executive. he turned around the salt lake city olympics. >> mitt romney, business legend, rescued the olympics. >> stephen: and those salt lake city winter olympics are still going strong today. but romney's real claim to business fame is founding a private equity company called bain capital. we watch mitt. >> my work led me to become very deeply involved in helping other businesses from start-ups to large companies that were going through tough times. sometimes i was successful and we were able to help create jobs. other times i wasn't. >> stephen: refreshing honesty. there's your campaign slogan. romney 2012, sometimes goodñi.

you see-- (laughter) >> stephen: romney made a mitt-load of cash using what's known as a leveraged buyout. he would buy a company with money borrowed against their assets, groom! them to be sold off, and in the inte collect huge management fees. once mitt had control of the company he would cut frivolous spending like jobs, workers, employees, and jobs. just like america's sweetheart, gordon gekko. >> why do you need to recognize this company. >> because it's wreckable, all right. >> these people lose their jobs they got nowhere to go. my father has worked there for 24 years. i gave him my word. >> it's all about bucks, kid. capitalism-- . >> stephen: like many americans when i saw that movie i thought i wish that guy was president. (laughter) >> stephen: and eight years

later,. >> i am the president. (applause) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: aren't you ready for another president gekko? because mitt romney knows just how to trim the fat. he rescued businesses like david bering, stage stories, american pad & paper and gs industries. then his company sold them for a profit of $578 million. after which all of those firms declared bankruptcy. which sounds bad but don't worry, almost no one works there any more. (laughter) >> stephen: besides. a businessman can't be weighed down with a bleeding heart. as one former bain employee put it, it was very clinical. like a doctor. when the patient is dead, you just move on to the next patient. see? mitt romney is like a doctor. and folks-- (laughter)

and folks, president mitt would know how to treat america's sick economy. first of all, 300 million americans, romney would have to lay some people off. there's got to be some redundancies. do we really need ryan reynolds and ryan gosling? besides, there are plenty of folks in mexico willing to be american for pennies on the dollar. and really-- isn't two dakotas a little laugh snirb i can't tell them apart. we should sell one. (laughter) >> stephen: then romney-- (laughter) >> stephen: romney can just take iowa, idaho and ohio and consolidate them into one vowel rich state iohatawa. (cheers and applause) >> and whatever is left romney will chop up and repackage as bundled freedom derivatives.

then he'll just short sell everything west of the mississippi, wait for the markets to tank and buy it back for a song. now some little people-- some little people out there might get hurt but that's how wall street does business. you squeeze out maximum value for your shareholders. and-- mitt romney can guarantee it will work. >> sometimes i was successful. other times i wasn't. >> or maybe it won't. but one thing we know, it always seemed to work out for mitt romney. and that's the word. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) &(

>> welcome back, everybody. hey, thank you. nation, i don't often say this. but i'm ashamed. thank you. last night i showed you an x-rated picture of anthony weiner's penis, a picture that blogger and journalish andrew breitbart had in his possession but said he would not release. i'm trying to the do the

descent thing and not release the vote owe-- photo. i'm doing there to try to save his family but it got out anyway that should have been based on this earlier picture, this penis clearly wanted out.ñr anyway last night i said that breitbart released the photo when he was visiting the-- anthony show but it turns out breitbart was just another victim of the gotcha media as he explained on the susteran with greta von record. >> i went on the show ooum's friends with one of the guys on there and i just decided before i went to the airport, why not stop in for some highjinks. >> stephen: yes, high sintion. as a journalist andrew breitbart engages in only the highest of jinx. but unfortunately, opie and anthony's jinxes are of a much lower quality. >> during the interview, they asked me if they could see it. i said well make sure you

don't show it to anyone and jim norton said there aren't any cameras here. and so i felt very comfortable that knock, you know, bad would happen with it. >> stephen: he was assured that there were no cameras. and look at this footage of him with opie and anthony. i don't see any cameras there. and they're shooting him pretty close. if there was a camera-- camera there i think we'd see it. he did not know the photo would get out. look at that face. it's so innocent. (laughter) >> stephen: and how humiliating for andrew breitbart to have his private photo of anthony weiner's private parts just slash-- splashed out there on the internet without his consent. >> and i for one cannot believe opie and anthony betrayed his trust. what happened to the sacred tradition of confidentiality between respected journalist and shock jock? (laughter) >> time was edward r. murrow

could go on the air with the morning zoo crew, februarier and the helpcats and they never once released murrow's photo of fdr's [bleep]. (laughter) how, how can i ever trust a dj again. is that even a real toilet they're flushing? is there really a hot legs contest at the beer bucket tonight. and if so, can i be sure there are ten set wings and lady's drink for free. folks, here's why i'm ashamed.ñr i myself showed this photo last night and then again just now several times on my show. but i did not imtend for anyone to see it. i was assured by my network that these are not cameras. (laughter) for the last five years i thought i have been shouting

into a toaster oven. how was i supposed to know i just wanted to have some highjinks. anyway, i'm sorry. and we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)

>> (cheers and applause) >> welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight is former secretary of homeland security and current natural gas advocate. i'll ask him if i will be allowed to carry moreñr than three ounces of meth ann on an airplane. please welcome tom ridge. (cheers and applause)ñiñi whooo, whooo. hey, mr. secretary. now you are the form err governor of the great state of pennsylvania, keystone state, first secretary of homeland security. and now you are a lobbyist for the natural gas industry. >> this is the first time on your show, i hate to correct with you your first question, but i'm not a lobbyist. considering-- something that could lead a ren nance in america with regard to energy, not only in terms of

creating jobs but making us more secure, less dependent on foreign sources. so my job and i do have a paid job as a consultant with the industry, is to make sure aspen pen that we take advantage of that resource and develop it in a way that is consistent with workplace safety, within environmentally sound principleses and to help us become-- create jobs in pennsylvania and become less dependent on foreign sources of fuel. >> stephen: well, i actually understand what you're saying and i now agree with everything you're saying. and i would say you did a very good job of lobbying me just now. (laughter) >> thank you. thank you very much. >> stephen: you should really become a lobbyist. you missed your calling. tell the good people about how we can get this juicy delicious natural gas out of the ground. >> well, we've been doing it for about almost 50 or 60 years. there is a practice called hydraulic fracturing.

>> stephen: people call it fraking. >> there are a lot of bumper stickers, i understand that. there is willing we have been doing since the late '40s. we've got over a million wells that use this process. kind of interesting, under high pressure they pump mostly water and sand, there are some chemicals to it, it goes down a mile and then what is really unique about this kind of fraking season is then they can go horizontal. >> stephen: it breaks up like shale deposits and that relayses -- >> it relayses the natural gas. >> and. >> correct, you're got it one of the things i like about this is that during the bush administration, vice president cheney's energy task force made sure that the gas companies did not have to reveal what the chemicals were that were being pumped into the ground. now it's been reported that some of the things like kerosene, benzene, uria, taluine, how many of those can i feed myed to em

ever-- toddler? (laughter) it's perfectly safe, right? (cheers and applause) >> you would an becausing your kids if did you so let's just put that away. when people talk about chemicals they're really talking about water quality, in legitimately everybody is worried about water quality. there is no question about it. but the fact of the matter is, lisa jackson, the epa administrator acknowledging that we have been losing this process since the late 40s. there have been over a million wells dug that have been frakked and there is not a single case with those million wells that any of that material has ever polluted any of the water. and frankly the industry-- . >> stephen: let's dispell a myth. we've all seen the image of flaming water. >> correct. >> stephen: let's show these and -- >> all right.

>> oh,. >> stephen: okay, people say this is because there are wells near the house, the methane is getting in the water supply and they are water burns, which i a say is a plus. you can wash your veg tables and grill them at the same time. is that-- is that really happening to people's water supplies, sir. >> yes, it is happening to some water supplies. and it has absolutely nothing to do with hydraulic tracking. >> methane gas is naturally occurring, it is in some of the water wells in pennsylvania long before any wells were located next to them it is naturally occurring and occurrings all over the country. >> stephen: it does occur all over the country but in september of 2010-- let's dispel this because i think there is a work around even if it does happen. in september of 2010 the epa warned residents of a wyoming town where fraing was taking place to use fans while showering to avoid the risk ofñi explosion.

that proves there is a work around. just infall a fan in your shower. >> and don't smoke in your shower either. >> stephen: so isn't that the epa saying it is happening. >> the epa is legitimately identifying an historical fact. naturally occurring methane gas often ends up in water wells and dow have that situation. but there's not been a single proven instance where it has been related to hydraulic fraking. >> stephen: solar power? they will suck so much energy that eventually the sun will go out. (laughter) >> stephen: right, we will have a sun spill s this a matter of national security. you used to be head of homeland security is this a matter of homeland security in any way to new. >> it depends on your point of view, whether you want to send a billion dollars a day to foreign countries some unstable, unfriendly countries or whether you want a bunch of leaders and countries deciding they're

not going to increase the production of oil which means our gas price goes through the roof it is a matter of economic security, a matter of national security. >> stephen: the only thing that worries me is say you are drilling a mile down there. what if we enrage the mole people. (laughter) have you made any plans for that. >> that is one contingency i would be a black swan event. we have to deal with that when it occurs. >> stephen: please do. thank you so much. governor tom ridge, we'll be right back. >> th

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