done a sombrero at one point. >> a chrming moment. >> very exciting t captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh >> stephen: tonight, a new pill can cure prejudice. really, you can trust me. i'm white. [ laughter ] then, the latest innovation in food delivery. spoiler alert: it's digiorno. [ laughter ] and my guest charles murray has written a new book about the state of white america. i believe that state is utah. [ laughter ] the u.s. soccer team failed to make the olympics. now if only soccer would fail to make the olympics. this is "the colbert report!" [ captioning sponsored by comedy central "the colbert report" theme music playing]

[cheers and applause] thank you, everybody. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] thank you so much. [cheers and applause] the way you chant, the way you chant, i would love to see you march in knee-high boots. thank you for joining, ladies and gentlemen. thank you for joining us for what might be the end of the republic. [ laughter ] i have warned you for years that president obama was hatching a secret plot to be re-elected. [ laughter ] and now that that plot has been exposed -- because of this whole election thing we're doing --

[ laughter ] well, it is causing the appropriate level of panic. >> gun sales have recently surged. some say one reason is fears that an obama re-election could usher in a new era of gun control regulations. people are so worried that top firearm manufacturer sturm ruger and company, is actually suspending new firearm orders because they say they cannot keep up. >> stephen yes, the fear of not being able to buy guns has led to buying so many guns that now we can't buy any guns-- just like we feared! [ laughter ] oh, it's too simple begun right. i know what you are thinking. "oh, colbert's being irrational." oh, really? it's happened before. in 2008, when people bought guns before obama took office, because they knew he'd pass harsh gun regulations. which he didn't, and i will not fall for it again, mr. president, but we are one step

ahead of where you are not planning to go. [ laughter ] the nra's been trying to warn us for months. >> in public the president will remind us he's put off calls from his party to renew the old clinton gun ban, he hasn't pushed for new gun control lawsi but it's a big fat stinking lie-- it's all part of a massive obama conspiracy to deceive voters and hide his true intentions to destroy the second amendment in our country. >> stephen: yes! [ laughter ] it's a vast conspiracy, and the total lack of evidence is all the evidence i need. [ laughter ] me thinks -- folks -- yes. me thinks he doth too little too much. [ laughter ] if he gets away with this, what other things he's shown no signs

of doing will he do? [ laughter ] for instance, he hasn't sold you into white salvery. why not? you're attractive. you could totally satisfy a russian kleptocrat.÷ú [ laughter ] and i can't help but notice he hasn't seized all the catholic church's property and given it to the new black panther party for them to run their reefer dens. [ laughter ] ergo: he will! and i don't even know the meaning of word ergo. and folks, it's not just the certainty that obama will take away our guns that's driving up gun sales. it's the post-apocalyptic hell-scape obama will cause. as one firearms specialist told fox-news "personal handguns have had a steady rise since 2008. the kind of stuff that fits in the waistband for when someone tries to steal your gas can." [ laughter ] yes! we need our pistols to fight off

the roving gangs who will come to steal our precious juice! [ laughter ] it's the same reason -- my god they've already stolen it. [ laughter ] it's the same reason i am investing in personal helicopters, dirt children, and steel gimp masks. [ laughter ] so arm yourselves america, or before you know it, we'll all be ruled over by a sexy black lady with crazy blond hair. mr. president, we don't need another hero. we don't need to know the way home. all we want is life beyond... thunderdome. [ laughter ] and by the way, mr. president, you can have my boomerang knife when you pry it from my cold dead fingers. [ laughter ] that might be easier than i thought.

nation, i don't want to just give you my opinion-- i want to force feed it down your gullet until your liver becomes a delicious moi-gras. [ laughter ] this is "tip of the hat, wag of the finger." [cheers and applause] folks, i don't see race. people tell me i'm white and i believe them because my tv show doesn't have the name "tyler perry's" in front of it. [ laughter ] but, and i don't care how many emmys this costs me: i believe racism is bad. that's why i was so excited to hear about this anti-racism breakthrough on fox news, the official channel of white people. >> racism can be reduced by popping pills. that's according to a new study from oxford university. the researchers used propanolol, it's a common drug used for heart disease. tests show those given the drug had less racial bias.

the scientists say the drug impacts the parts of the brain and nervous system that deal with fear. >> stephen: yes, an anti-racism pill. that's why i'm giving a big tip of my hat to whatever oriental genius came up with this. [ laughter ] they are a smart people. and that's not taking anything away from the jews. [ laughter ]ç until now, folks, science has created only substances that increased racism, like my aunt rita's gin gimlets. [ laughter ] i don't know what she puts in there, but hoo-boy, does she have some crisp opinions about italians. whraf laugh. [ laughter ] the drug, propranolol is ordinarily used to treat blood pressure by blocking activation of the autonomic nervous system, where researchers also believe subconscious racist thoughts are triggered. for my non-neurologist viewers, subconscious thoughts are lower

class thoughts from the wrong side of the brain. [ laughter ] you know, the side that takes siestas. [ laughter ]ym the good news is, if scientists are treating racism with medication, that means racism is a disease! and as such, it's not your fault and it's nothing to be ashamed of. [ laughter ] i know my great grandpa leland was so humiliated by his chronic ailment, he took to covering his face. [ laughter ] miss that good man. next, i want to take a minute here to send best wishes to former vice president dick cheney, who is recovering after receiving a heart transplant on saturday. sir, hope you're back on your feet soon. or maybe somebody else's younger, stronger feet. [ laughter ] now, while there has been much interest and speculation in the media, cheney received the heart

from an anonymous donor. which is why tonight i am giving a tip of my hat to me. [ laughter ] i'm the heart donor. yeah. you can aplawd. [cheers and applause] i did it because i'm a big cheney fan, more than happy to help out. after all, it was just one heart. that's why god gave us two. excuse me? i'm trying to praise myself here. what? no, i'm pretty sure we have two of everything, okay? two lungs, two kidneys, two livers, two hearts. okay? that's why during the pledge of allegiance you cover them like this. [ laughter ] really? just the one? well, that explains why i'm feeling so sluggish today.

oh, i have made a terrible mistake. so, how long can you go with no heart? how long did cheney go? really? okay. could someone get me a list of all of the interns' blood types? we'll be right back. [cheers and applause] [cheers an]

>> stephen: welcome back,

everybody. folks, i don't like to eat and run. that's why i do all my eating on my elyptical machine. this is "thought for food." ♪ folks, whenever i am fooding or being fudded, i want to be on the cutting edge of sitting perfectly still while food is brought near my mouth.ççó so, i was thrilled to learn that there's a new company proposing the delivery of tacos via unmanned drone helicopters. [ laughter ] and no, you're not dreaming. [ laughter ] the name of the company that will bringing you fresh tacos by helicopter? tacocopter. [ laughter ] at long last. i cannot tell you how many times a taco stand has refused to deliver to me, just because i'm halfway up a k-2, or stranded on the roof of a farmhouse in a flooded valley.

but thanks to the imagineers at tacocopter, now wherever i am, by sending my cell phone's gps coordnates i can call in a surgical flavor strike that will level my hunger with significant collateral deliciousness.zv [ laughter ] forget the arms race. we are winning the stomach race. tacocopter is the first step to achieving intercontinental ballistic munchies. [ laughter ] and it's less risky than my current method of getting takeout from meal team six. [ laughter ] they are heros, you know. [cheers and applause] nation, this is a great day, except for one thing: tacocopter is being blocked by the u.s. government. [boos] yes -- very good. yes, barack obama is taco-blocking me. [ laughter ]

according to tacocopter's co-founder, "current u.s. faa regulations prevent using unmanned aerial vehicles for commercial purposes at the moment. it's not totally unreasonable to regulate something as potentially dangerous as having flying robots slinging tacos over people's heads." [ laughter ] yes, you could be watching your kids' soccer game and call in that four-bladed taco-chopper and a big gust of wind comes along, and it goes careening onto the field and you have eyes and teeth everywhere. but you also have tacos. [ laughter ] and obviously there are a few issues to overcome with any new technology. in this case keeping the food warm, flying in the snow, flying in the rain, avoiding power lines, avoiding birds, keeping birds away from your tacos, keeping people from stealing the tacocopter. and of course, evading the radar systems on anti-tacocopter

missiles launched by hunan palace. [ laughter ] but let's not forget the most important thing: i want tacos delivered to me by unmanned aerial drone! [ laughter ] because if we can achieve this, perhaps one day i can finally realize my dream of eating a burrito launched from a nuclear submarine. [ laughter ] i just pray our enemies never get their hands on our lunch codes. [ laughter ] we'll be right back. >>

[cheers and applause] welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight has written a book with the state of white america. for the last three years it's been a state of shock. please welcome charles murray. [cheers and applause]w mr. murray, thank you so much for coming on. mr., doctor, what are we talking here? >> charles is fine with me. >> chuck. >> charlie even. >> your cv is impressive. the american enterprise institute, the author of such book as losing ground and the bell curve. the new book is called "coming apart: the state of white america 1960 to 2010." all right. [ laughter ]

this book is incredibly important to me because i am white america. all right? i'm default white american. are you a white guy. i don't see race. could you tell me you abwhite -- >> i come from smalltown iowa. it gets no whiter than that. >> stephen: what is the state of white america, sir? >> we've got a problem. >> stephen: okay. who is the problem? who can we blame. >> just about everybody. we've got problems at the top and the bottom as well. the short story is this: we have developed classes in this country that are different in kind from anything we've ever known before if this keeps on america is not going to be the america we knew. >> stephen: what are the two different classes. just talk about white people, please. >> we're talking about nothing but white people. >> stephen: my kind of book. [ laughter ] >> first an upper class.

it's increasingly isolated from and ignorant about mainstream america and you've got a new lower class that is dying away from all kinds of institutions that used to be central to the way that america functioned. >> stephen: what is it so -- so the upper complas is like who? who are we talking here? i'm a rich guy. is that me. >> it's people with influence over the nation's politics, economy. >> stephen: that's me, you, guys like us. >> and culture. >> stephen: come on. guys like you and me we're one group. what is this other group you are talking about of white people? >> we're talking about a problem focused in the working class. we're talking high school education, blue collar jobs and so forth. we've had incredible changes over the last 50 years. quick example, marriage. central cultural institutions, 1960, 84% of all white adults in the working class were married.

it's the norm. by 2010 that's down to 48% fewer than that half. it's a divergence between classes. because the upper middle class isç married, just about the sae race it iewsessed to be. >> the upper class has a stronger dedication to marriage? >> you have two different things. an upper middle class which is a lot of people. professionals. but fur talking about upper class we're talking about earlier they run the country and they increasingly don't have the least idea how most americans live. they live in a bubble in many cases. >> stephen: we pay a lot of money to stay in the bubble. >> it costs a lot. >> sure, does. >> the more money you make the thicker it gets. >> stephen: isn't that good because if i don't ever see the problem of other people, it doesn't exist. [ laughter ] i don't read books so don't worry about that. i'm not going to read books.

i didn't read any of your earlier books and i didn't read the bell curve and i know that caused a kerfuffle out there in the world because people interpreted what you were saying, saying that there were racial and genetic components to black people scoring lower on intelligence tests. >> i know that's what people say. >> stephen: did you not say that? >> the book did not say that. >> stephen: did you say that? >> i have never said that. >> stephen: in the bell curve you cited researchers and research that was funded by white supremacists and nazi groups. >> come on. i know what you are referring to but stephen. >> stephen: you had 17 researchers contributors to the racist journal and 13 scholars who are grant recipients from the pioneer fund which was established and run but nazi sympathizers. >> in a 980 page book with 1500

citations and the authors you are talking about include some of the most eminent and respected psycho÷ú matricians. >> stephen: psycho -- >> matricians. i can't tell how hard it is after 17 years to see this nonsense brought up again. >> stephen: i think it's refreshing following this book you are writing a book that contains no black people in it whatsoever. it's extremely refreshing. >> let's face it. it made life a whole lot easier to do it that way. >> stephen: i find just hanging out with white people a lot easier, too. those lower class white people, are they giving white people a bad same in because the white people who are prosperous, who have the values of white people, like marriage, the product and

work ethic, those people with those val yiews, can't we just call the lower class white people not white anymore because are all of them white? some of them might be italian? [ laughter ] what is white america? >> it's exactly the opposite. i'm not talking about problems of working class white america because we want these people to shape up. i'm talking about it because if you go to white working class america to communities there you see lots of people doing everything right. it's about time we gave validation and reinforcement to all the people who are trying to do the right thing. >> stephen: what is the answer? what is the solution? >> every important improvement in american life has started with a cultural shift where people started to think about problems differently. and one of the things that contributes to cultural shift is the books. so that's why i write books. >> stephen: maybe you should start blogging because while you

write them people don't read them anymore. >> no, but you know talking about it on this show is a step in the right direction where people might get interested in theçó issues. >> stephen: because you know why that is? >> why? >> stephen: white america got the colbert bump as it does every night. [ laughter ] charles murray thank you for joining me. t

[dance music] - good show tonight, mr. jordan. - hey, kenneth, why aren't your teeth glowing in the black light? - you'll have to ask the fella who whittled 'em for me. ♪ - it's her, isn't it? - i don't kiss and tell, jack.