so he has decided to move on to that experience. wish him notng but the best. we will miss him dearly, he is a good man. here it is, your moment of jim. >> did you guys order a pizza? >> no. well, as long as you're here. i might as well taste it. >> that just doesn't make any sense. sneaking in from mention kochlt i say we get one step ahead of it and sneak into canada. (laughter) then who's a good dog? who's a good dog? the answer may surprise. (laughter) and my guest tavis smiley and colonel west went on an 18 city poverty bus tour. i bet the groupie action on

that bus is sobering. (laughter) ted nugent met with the secret service today. no word on how much he charged them for the wango tango. (laughter) this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. >> steve stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

i really appreciate it. i want you in this audience and the audience out there to know that you are the last thing i think of before i go to sleep at night. (cheers and applause) the second to last thing. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. nation, tomorrow is 4-20. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i don't have to tell you i will not be doing this show because we don't do shows on friday. (laughter) but i will be doing something else that will keep me busy all day! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i'll be busting you pot does heads. now don't be paranoid but that sound you hear, that's me.

i'm coming for you moonbeam. jimmy, let's take it over here. (laughter) folks, when you ask a dog was's on top of a house, he says roof. when you ask an alpha dog was's on top of a house he say was do i look like, a [bleep] architect? this is my alpha dog of the week. it is no secret-- folk, it's no secret that our cities are suffering a massive budget crisis. municipalities have to cut back on fire departments, boards of health and public safety. in many cities the police have been replaced by a gun duct taped to a roomba. but i believe we have found a solution thanks to our alpha dog of the week, newark, new jersey mayor, corey booker. (cheers and applause)

last week mayor booker found himself in a life-and-death game of fetch. and turned out to be a golden retriever. >> mayor to the rescue, corey booker racing into a neighbor's burning house, prompting through smoke and flames to save's woman's life. >> he ran in, and without thinking for his own safety. >> he actually punched his fist through a kitchen wall, grabbed this woman, threw over his shoulder and ran through flames. >> the neighbor did what most neighbor was do, which is to jump into action to help a friend. >> stephen: exactly, like the time my neighbor allen's house caught on fire and i drove my car away from it so he would not be liable for any damage. (laughter) got to look out for each other. and this alpha dog has a history of lifting his leg on danger. >> it's not the first time the mayor has served his constituents in unusual ways. from personally helping newark residents shovel snow

to chasing down a suspected robber. >> stephen: he is so hands on. one time he even pulled himself over and then sued himself for racial profiling. (laughter) this big dog has shown us how to neuter big city budgets, fire all the municipal workers and let our elected official does their jobs. i mean why can't new york mayor mike bloomberg drive a bus? if he sits on a stack of old phone books i bet he can see over the steering wheel. (laughter) so corey booker-- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: corey booker, for running into a burning house and making the fire engine chase you, you, sir, are my alpha dog of the week. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: now ladies and gentlemen, for years i have been warning you about the growing threat from mexico. it's a lawless, crime ridden hell scape run by vicious drug lords that prey on innocent bystander was could never imagine the horror of

a pool side margarita for $18. come on! and now this mention macichaos is spilling over to our border. tonight i'm exposition the most terrifying scourge to cross the rio grand since-- why can't he say it out loud? this is the enemy within. >> the mexican border. gateway for smugglers of dangerous contraband that threatens our wholesome american values. >> mexico's deadly drug cartel violence is spilling over the border not united states. so is anyone paying attention. >> i'm very much in favor of building a wall along the entire board tore keep out these threats. >> stephen: jim gilchrist is the founder of the minutemen project, a volunteer force of patriots dedicated to keeping their eyes on threats coming in from mexico. >> any kind of contraband

coming across those borders, whether it be guns, drugs or something as innocuous as a slab of baloney is the enemy within. >> balance og that t is as american as apple food products and just as delicious. >> baloney sandwiches are one of the most popular lunch and dinner entrees by americans. >> meet the american meat institute janet riley. she is just not a devoted meat enthusiast, she is also president of the national hot dog and sausage council. >> baloney is one of those classic american foods it is a cooked, smoked sausage. typically mildly seasoned. >> good to know. >> there is mystery and mystique surrounding ba loanee but if you just look at the ingredient statement on the package that is required, you will see a full listing of everything that we put in the product. >> such as. >> it's a come newted semi

solid sausage from one of more raw skeletal muscle meat or raw or cooked poultry meet. >> stephen: that, mystery solved. and we need to keep our could common newted semisolid raw skeletal muscle meat american. which is why we have laws to protect it. >> the laws that regulate the meat that can enter the u.s. are very strict. >> stephen: but that doesn't stop some south of the border sausage smugglers from playing hide the ba loanee. >> it's a border bust that's a meat lovers dream. 385 pounds of baloney. customs officials tell us on the phone it's not the first time someone has tried to sneak baloney not country. >> usually it's a kill or or two or maybe one or two of the large rolls you would typically see in a deli. >> stephen: it was the largest ba loanee bust in over a decade and it's not an isolated problem. >> this past year seems to have been the year of baloney smuggling this is sort of a new phenomenon that we have seen and i'm not quite clear sure what is going on to be perfectly

honest. >> everything that happens on this border that is illegal is all about the money. there's money for illegal drugs. and there's money for bringing over bad ba ownee from mexico. >> stephen: the lunch meat cartels are out of control. the only way to fight back is to cut off the demand, to go after the cold cut users. >> hey! >> stephen: weigh gathered a handful of ba loanee addicts to hear their sad tales of lunch meat abuse. >> i like ba loanee for lunch. >> i eat ba own-- baloney every day. >> i can eat a hundred pounds of ba loanee. >> stephen: these junk meat junkies don't care where their next fix comes from. >> i don't care where my ba loanee comes from. >> american baloney, mexican ba loanee, i want it all. >> stephen: if these ba loanee fiends had their way, pretty soon this would become this. (laughter) >> people need to realize

that there are some things out there that they just shouldn't eat. >> i would really like some ba loanee. >> i don't care. >> give me my ba loanee. >> no. >> give me my ba loanee now! >> no. >> i need my baloney! >> stephen: if we don't respond to this crisis who knows how much mexican mystery meat will see this year. without a proper border fence built from san diego, california, to brownsville, texas, there's really no way to control the amount of ba loanee that's coming across our border illegally every day, every week or every year. the illegal importation of ba loanee is a transnational criminal epidemic. >> mexico has its tentacle, criminal tentacles that extend throughout all of north america. now that may sound way out there. but if you can bring illegal ba loanee not united states, you can also bring tiny little items necessary to create a suitcase too.

>> stephen: and if that doesn't scare you off, this black market baloney, consider this. >> it could cause vomiting and diarrhea. >> stephen: but there is something you can do. >> the most patriotic thing an american can do to help the ba loanee economy is to eat more baloney. >> stephen: just make sure it's american baloney. >> when it says sausage products are prepared with meat from a single species of cattle, sheep, swine or goat, they shall be labeled with the term designated the particular species in conjunction with the generic nature eg frankfurter and when they are prepared in part with mechanically separatesed feces in accordance with 319.6 it shall be labeled in accordance. shall i go on. >> stephen: no thank you, meat lady. this recent epidemic of illegal baloney being imported from mexico bothers me because if we can't trust the meat that we eat in this country, we can't trust anything. >> it also, that's it

(laughter) >> stephen: chilling. how long before my baloney has a first name. and it's carlos. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)

>> welcome back, thank you so much. nation, i know, i know i'm not perfect. i have flaws. for instance, i occasionally believe i'm not perfect.

every once in a while it's nice to get some validation from someone other than me and that guy who appears in the window over my bathroom sink every morning. he is obsessed with shaving me. that's why i was so thrilled this week when "time" magazine revealed its 100 most influential people in the world. >> "time" magazine just named its 100 most influential people in the world for 2012, adele o bama, both, mitt romney, benjamin netanyahu, warren buffett. >> also part of the time 100, political pundit stephen colbert. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i am one of 1900 most influential people in the world! (cheers and applause) whooo! whooo! you know what, folks w this kind of power i better be careful where i point this thing. i might influence someone.

like you, moonbeam. put down the doobie and come to jesus. (laughter) and then of course there is this great picture of me inside, hold on let me get to this thing. look at that. all right? look at that. (cheers and applause) although i don't know how they got my driver's license photo. and i was particularly honored that it's accompanied by a profile of mean by doonesbury creator garry trudeau. garry and i met when he was on the show. it was a very brief encounter sow never really got to know the inner me. luckily, there is no inner me. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: but mi only one of the 100 people long erred. so let's spend a little time on the other i what to say like 84. because i am up there with some big names. people who shape our world. angela merkel, chancellor of

germany, benjamin netanyahu, prime minister of israel, and of course sara blakely, the inventor of spanx. she perhaps has shaped our world more than anyone on this list. yes, they honor all the heavy hitters. leaders of industry, heads of state, pippas of middleton. so i just want to thank "time" magazine for this honor, and since mi currently so influential, let me just take a moment to influence you. please put me on the list next year. (laughter) i need this mi like a fragile orchid and the intention of the media is my only sunlight. please, i can't breathe. plus this is my second appearance on the time 100. i'm just one away from being on its list the same amount of times at the daly lambi. i'm gunning for you lama. i want to make you wish you were never reborn. we'll be right back. ñ?ñññwñwñ

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is. >> welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight have a new book called the rich and the rest of us. now that would also be a good title for this interview. please welcome colonel west and tavis smiley. (cheers and applause) >> good to see you. thank you so much for coming on. always wanted to have you on for a long time. now you gentlemen, are you both very successful media and educational figures in your own right, tavis you have a show on pb s&p rr radio. you also together do a show on prr radio. we know brother west you are going to the union thee logical seminary. >> that's right. >> stephen: you guys have got it together, all right soichlt admire that about you. but i do have a bone to pick. and it is the name of this book. the rich and the rest of us. a poverty manifesto.

that is class warfare. pure and simple. you're dividing america, defend yourself. >> west. >> we simply want to say that we will defend the dignity of poor people, the humanity of poor people and that we're calling for a focus on poverty to eliminate it. because we're the richest nation in the history of the world, given the wealth and inequality we have there is no way 22% of our children should live in poch ert. >> stephen: you say the riferp and the rest of us as if rich people are not americans. are you dividing this country. no, the rich and the rest of us, those are your words. the 99% versus the 1%. i believe there is one america. one america, sir, that the top 11% just happens to own 42% of if. >> so how do you justify dividing us. why don't you say all americans and let's make sure we all aspire to be rich. because poor people aspire to be rich. >> i think mitt romney is

wrong when he suggested that we are engaged in a politics of envy this is not ben vey. i don't think anybody that is poor begrudges anybody who is rich or having what they have access to it. it is just that there is not a level playing field in this i krchlt when one out of two american, 150 million of us are struggling with pov the and or near poverty. >> stephen: what are you talking about, so which one of su struggling with poverty, one out of two. all right, we have to get you some help. you look good. you look good though. >> as you mentioned i'm on public television. and public radio. >> stephen: i understand. which is a charitable endeavor, i understand. (applause) bz but you have to back that up. because i don't actually believe there are poor people in america. there are not. >> come with us. we went to 18 cities. we went to white communities, black communities, we began on an indian reservation, let us never forget our precious indigenous brothers and sisters,. >> stephen: i'm one/13th

chicka saw. >> you might even be suffering more than you realize. >> stephen: i might. >> but you know there are poor people who are suffering, working people who are suffering. >> stephen: let's make opportunities for the poor people. >> that is what this book is about. >> stephen: half the-- pass the ryan budget. >> oh my god. >> stephen: okay. because guys like me, guys like me and i'm rich, i'm the rich that you would want to be the rest of. guys like me we are job creators. we trickle. you understand how rich guys like me we trickle down. >> i think a lot of americans feel tink eled on. but-- (cheers and applause) >> there's no trickle down. the fact. mat certificate in washington there seems to be a bipartisan consensus that the poor just don't matter. we argue the book is, that the very future of this democracy is at stake. poverty threatens our democracy. poverty is a matter of national security. >> stephen: why would poverty threaten the democracy. poor people get to

investment they don't like it, why don't they not vote for the people who are making them poor. >> part of the problem is both parties are dominated by big money so you got to a conservative version of oligarchee with republicans and theyo liberals with oligarchy poor of democrats who speak on the behalf of the poor and working people. how many people are lob agency for poor people. >> stephen: poor people should get their own super pac. >> and the cash will come from here. >> stephen: each other, they should throw a block party. i've seen those movies. (laughter) >> stephen: you know, to make rent, to make rent throw a block party and the poor people have great music. >> the tragedy is-- great music. they're rich in spirit. >> they're rich in spirit. >> stephen: we rich people will never have that spiritual richness. so it's even. >> we want balance. we want balance. >> stephen: do you think america cares about the poor. >> we care. and we know we're not alone. there are americans of all colors around this nation

who do care. we want a democrat ache wakening around poverty. (cheers and applause) >> four years ago when we exercised this process to elect a new president, we had three presidential debates between mccain and obama. the word poor or poverty didn't come up one time four years ago. mccain didn't raise t obama didn't raise t the moderators didn't ask about it. you cannot abide another campaign for the white house where the issue of poverty doesn't get placed on the american agenda and that is why the book is out now. >> stephen: without do you think this book is for. because poor people don't have the money to buy it. (laughter) are you really trying to sell this to rich people? this is a, hold on one second this is a $12. >> not too much. >> stephen: $12 guilt trip, my brother. >> no, no, no, no. you've got a whole lot of unemployed people thank god who are going bruce springstein's world tours, redskin ball y because he is a white blues brother and he is concerned about the poor too. if they can get a bruce springsteen ticket they can buy this book.

(applause) >> stephen: fair enough, fair enough. smiley, thank you so much. dr. west, thank you so much. travist smiley and dr. west, the book is the rich and the rest of us.

>> well, that's it for the report, everybody. good night. captioning sponsored by comedy central ca