that's our show, here it is your moment of zen. >> mitt romney can beat obama. >> no he can't beat obama because his policy is the basis of obama care. >> the next president of the united states, president mitt romney! captioning sponsored by comedy central

captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) stephen, stephen, stephen!

stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. chors plaus. >> stephen: thank you so much. welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. folks, i don't know about you, i don't know about you, folks, but i for one-- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i am really-- reeling from the presidential elections first may-tober surprise. yesterday's shocking announcement. >> today i'm suspending the campaign. >> stephen: newt gingrich has left the race! i have not been this caught off guard since he entered the race. (laughter) >> stephen: now newt pledged to endorse mitt romney at a later date. but mitt's campaign might think newt said enough already. >> romney is a guy who will manage the decay. he's not the guy who is going to change washington. >> governor romney is

extraordinarily insensitive to religious freedom in america. >> if governor romney would like to give back all the money he has earned from bankrupting companies and laying off employees over his years at bain, that i would be glad to then listen him. >> are you calling aromney a liar? >> yes. (laughter) >> stephen: now obviously this healing is going to be a process. baby steps. but mitt has already proven himself a leader by releasing this gracious statement about the former speaker. >> ann and i are proud to call newt and calista friends. we look forward to working with them in the months and years ahead. that from mitt romney. politics is weird. and now i know last season' season's-- attachment to anything like reality. >> stephen: an is help knows about loose attachment to anything like reality. he worked with fox news.

but mitt and newt know that in politics these guys rib, they tease, they make robo calls saying the other guy denied kosher meals to holocaust survivors. but it's all in good fun. they'll pull it together. and no one explained that better than republican strategist dee dee benkie. >> think about it this ways, neil, it's a sports analogy, say the republicans are notre dame and the democrats usc. big rivalry. and notre dame has to pick a team captain, so you've got the fiji, the phi de will d-- delts and another fraternity. the other are team captain the other two are mad, they are not in a good mood for weeks but the time this game comes along, saturday, forget it. the fighting irish they're not going to let trojan man win no way, no how. plus the other fraternity say they are going to rally around their guy because now they are part of the team so that's two things. everyone is part of the team

and they hate the other team. >> stephen: there it. as clear as a football. (laughter) >> stephen: but i understand that some you out there may not be sports fans the way me and dee dee are. so let me put this another way. it's like a star wars analogy. say the republicans are the rebel alliance and the democrats are the deathstar. and admiral akbar has to decide who is going to fight darth vader. you got luke skywalker, hans solo and another fraternity. let's say the rom you lus. the guys who don't fly with red five are going to be pissed for a while, they will also be mad, they will want to fly through the star gate on battle star galactica and take a vacation in cloud city but by the time the game time comes along the fighters forget t they don't care who sends prot ton torpedo down the thermal exhaust port as long as they save yafan four, they want to blow up the deathstar and they hate the dark side. or-- (cheers and applause)

>> stephen: that works. or, of course, there's always the political analogy, republicans who didn't support mitt romney will come together because they want to beat barack obama. too complicated. let's stick with the football thing. go trojan irish. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, as a player in the powerful and completely transparent world of super pacs, i pride myself on exercising the greatest possible influence, the details of by are none of your goddamn business. but recently a mysterious rival has appeared in florida to challenge my dominance in the world of supersecret super packing. so tonight i go in search of they were tender, jim. >> for years there has been one undisputed king of democracy.

>> my name is stephen colbert. and i am an american citizen. >> i accept the-- to be south carolina's favorite son. (cheers and applause) >> stephen colbert is having a rally today. >> whooo! i am super pac! >> but now a challenger threatened my throne. who is he? there's one guy that literally started one in four of the super pacs that have been formed since the citizens united ruling. >> 64 seems like an extraordinary number of super pacs to me. because i have 0. >> he's formed 400 political action committees on the state level. >> he's run for several offices. >> he's raised 18 million dollars. >> he's a billionaire an economist. >> he was running for three offices at the same time. >> he's currently on the ballot for u.s. senator, u.s. house of

representatives. >> he has run for president of the united states. >> he has run for just about everything. >> and his name is-- what is his name. >> i don't know it is josu, if it is hosu. >> hosu or also known as joshua. >> i have always called him mr. la rose. >> stephen: well, ayla rose by any other name spells like a mystery. join me tonight as i go in search of the man who would ride my pac tails. >> it's a mystery. he's got a lot of super pacs. but we don't know anything about him. who is this guy? to solve the mystery of the missing money man. >> i hopped on board "the colbert report" seaplane. and flew to duval county, florida, where mr. la rose

ran for office. to meet the supervisor of elections and find out just who this la rose really is. >> i have never met him or seen him. >> oakey doke. >> my search then took me to the county la rose lives in where i met with former rival for the state senate and current clutter phobe bill ramos who remembers la rose from their dramatic clashes in the primary debate. >> when the first debate occurred, he wasn't there. and the second one, he wasn't there. and unfortunately, i never got a chance to meet him. >> stephen: a pattern was emerging. a pattern with no shape or form. so i turned to investigative reporter for propublica, kim barker. wait a second, go back, i got something. >> oh you can't tell by the way i wear my-- i'm pro publica we'll find out who he is,-- okay, excuse ma.

barker has been on the la rose story since 2009. so she knows everybody who has met or spoken to mr. la rose. >> i don't know anybody who has met or spoke to mr. la rose. >> kim, seriously, just anything, i need something, give me something. >> i believe that there is one fort lauderdale sun sentinel reporter whose's met mr. la rose. >> the game was afoot. reporter john bernstein was the missing link in the la rose mystery. >> i have seen mr. la rose. >> finally, physical proof that la rose exists. >> and, no, i do not have any, any physical proof-- i don't have anything. >> stephen: skip that. >> his office is in the east broward building. >> stephen: a breakthrough. >> i believe it's on the 17th floor. >> stephen: a breakthrough?

i scoured the 17th floor. but the pacman was nowhere to be found. so outside the building i cornered one of la rose's fellow tenants. >> i don't know who jose la rose is but i know a lot of jose, i have a lot of friends named jose but they all live in miami. i'm sure there are plenty in fort lauderdale. i just don't have any jose friends in launder dale, but in miami. >> stephen: got it. >> sorry. >> stephen: okay, i'm going to leave. as night fell, so did my spirits. the trail had gone cold. and then it got hot. because it occurred to me how do you find a man as elusive as big foot am by calling in the pros at animal planet, finding big foot. spare nothing expense because they did it for free. matt, cliff, bobo and renee.

journeyed into deepest florida in search of la rose. >> i'm up high in a tree. i've got the parabolic microphone, thermal imager, hine the qhok point, those guys are going it to try to flush la rose towards me, hopefully i can get a hit on the therm. >> all right, renee, operation giant la rose fly is now going to commence. >> on behalf of the viacom network and all the subsidiaries, i would like to apologise to the people of florida and my viewers because i have been informed it is against network policy to attempt to flush black people out of the woods using torches. (cheers and applause)

all right, what began as a rivally has grown into respect. and i invite to you come on my show to receive the colbert bump. or perhaps this time it shall be i who receives the josu jump. we'll be right back.

>> stephen: thanks very much. welcome back, everybody. nation, last week the space shuttle enterprise took a last fly over new york city, bolted to the top of a 747. it was the only way to avoid the $25 baggage fee. (laughter) well, with the space shuttle fleet now retired there's only one eye kochb american space travel left on active duty, me. (laughter) today, who is honoring me now. tonight, folks i'm being honored by the national space society. the nss is dedicated to the creation of a space faring civilization. i'm a big supporter of space

faring but not space fare which is welfare for aliens. get a job, zoltrox. i'm not the only one who believes in nss's mission to bring humanity to the stars. its board includes tom hanks and newt gingrich. the original woodie and mr. potato head. so-- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i could not be t minus more excited to receive the national space society's coveted space pioneer award for mass media. and i'm inviting tonight's audience to attend the award ceremony with me. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: because it's happening right now. to present my award, please welcome apollo 11 astronaut and one of the 24 human beings whose passports have a moon stamp, dr. buzz aldrin, buzz! (cheers and applause)

buzz, good to see you again. >> thank you. >> stephen: now buzz-- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: look at that. you know what i think? i think the american people are in favor of space exploration, don't you. thank you so much for joining us. >> it's my pleasure to be here. you know, awhile back i was chairman of the space society. and they and i both strongly support commercial private enterprise, crew, competitive transport to the space station and beyond the earth, the moon, to asteroids, and we want to thank you for your promoting space exploration. >> stephen: well, it is, sir, thank you. i am honored to have you here. >> listen.

>> stephen: that's america's space out there i say we go get it. now sir, now i know that i already won, okay. which is exciting. but i want to do this right. you know space exploration, i know award ceremonies. okay so, before you give it to me, if you could just read this list of nominees right there. and then reveal the winner from inside the envelope on the soar identify-- other side, okay. >> of course. the nominees are meryl streep. stephen colbert. elroy jettison. and modern family. and the winner is stephen colbert! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: whooo! whooo! whooo! whooo! whooo! whooo!

whooo! oh my gosh. oh my gosh. thank you so much, oh my gosh, buzz, thank you so much. it is a true honor. true honor. i want to thank you, i want to thank the national space society. i accept this award. on behalf of every kid who dreamed of growing up to become an astronaut but instead went into television. (laughter) and i accept this on behalf of all their kids who i believe should still dream of growing up to become an astronaut like buzz aldrin. thank you, sir. buzz aldrin, everybody. look at that! we'll be right

>> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is a 24-year-old creater of hbo's critically acclaimed show girls. big deal, hi my own show when i was 23. please welcome lena dunham. (cheers and applause) thank you so much for coming on. >> thank you, i'm very excited to be here. >> stephen: i'm excited to you have here. >> my dad is a big fan of yours which i think is confusing because he may have voted for ralph nader so so-- . >> stephen: listen, everyone has a youthful indiscretion. now i'm very excited to you have here. >> thank you. >> stephen: but the whole building is abuzz because

you are the executive producer director, writer, you play the character hanna. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: in this hot show called "girls" on hbo. okay. now i worry about the girls in this show. >> you worried about girls. >> stephen: i worry about the girls am they just don't seem to know necessarily what to do with their lives. >> well, that's sort of what it is about. it is about that time in your life where are you not a girl, not yet a woman and you're trying to navigate. >> stephen: that's a britney spears line. you know what, i'm worried about britney spears too. >> i'm worried about you because you know that is a britney spears line jooive-- . >> stephen: i goff her poster on my line. we have a clip of the show. jim? >> i'm just saying that i am so close to the life that i want, the life that you want for me, that for to you just

end that right now. >> no more money. >> starting when? >> starting now. we can talk about it tomorrow. >> i don't want to see you tomorrow. >> what? >> we fly out tuesday. >> i have work. and then i have a dinner thing. and then i am busy trying to become who i am. (applause) >> stephen: how do these girls become who they are? because they seem to lost. >> well, i think we're trying to follow that process on the screen and it involves kind of trying to figure out what you want out of work and out of love and sort of whether your friendships are satisfying you or just stuck in them because they are the people you met in college testimony is a really searching time and we are will looking at that. >> stephen: are you still in that age. >> i am. >> stephen: you are writing about what you are going through right now. >> so i might never become who i am. >> stephen: right because you will always be writing about it and never have time to actually be the thing

that you are looking for. >> that is 100% true. >> stephen: okay, so should i be worried about you? >> i wasn't worried about me until recently. >> stephen: when you came on the show. >> when i came on the show, no, i don't think you should be worried about me. i don't have enough time to get up to the kinds of shenanigans that these girls are conducting. >> stephen: do you do the sex? >> i-- because on the show, this is what worries me most is that on the show your character does the sex with adam, right? >> she does the sex with adam. i've never done the sex so i write about what i think the sex would be like. >> stephen: you've never done the sex. >> i've never done the sex but this is-- . >> stephen: it is great. (applause) >> see i needed to talk to you first. >> stephen: i will draw a little diagram first. >> oh, okay, that's not how it was explained to me. >> stephen: well if somebody does it differently, get out of there.

do you think that, is the show, people make this sort of fast ball kind of like oh it's sex in the city for people who are younger. >> yeah, i mean i think that the show is definitely owes a debt to sex in the city because sex and the city busted the system from the inside in talking about women's issues. >> stephen: i'm a charlotte. >> i would have said that. >> stephen: who would i be, without would i be in girls. >> i think honestly are you a schshawna and i don't know if that means anything to you. >> stephen: it does, it does. >> you are a schshawna. >> a juicy sweat suit wearing self-help loving girl from long island. >> stephen: you have been reading my diary. well, thank you so much. lena dunham, thank you so much for coming lena dunham. girls on hbo, get married. get married before you do the sex. >> without wants to marry me. >> stephen: we'll be right back.