>> jon: that's our show, here it is, your moment of zen. >> if one study has it right, men who are stressed out under this tough economy report a little more meat on the bones. >> maybe when those hunters were in a time of famine they wanted to have a nice meaty woman to

captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) pepsi presents: pepsi presents: stephest colbchella '012: rocktaugustfest. ♪ (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome! welcome! avast, ye swabs! welcome to night three of pepsi presents: stephest colbchella '012: rocktaugustfest! (cheers and applause)

oh, my friends, oh, my friends, it's been a great first two days but tonight, tonight, santigold! (cheers and applause) right now i'd like to take a moment, a very important moment to thank the people who made this possible. if by people you mean corporations-- and i usually do. (cheers and applause) the good people at pepsi. now, i know that... anybody want to throw me a pepsi? (cheers and applause) (laughter) now, i know... now i know the suits and the squares out there don't want to hear this sort of talk, but i enjoy the products marketed by the global snack beverage company pepsico. (cheers and applause) suck on that, the man. (crowd chanting "pepsi") now, folks, as you know, there is a threat of storms coming in, but i don't want you to worry about lightning strikes because

right now you are in the safest possible place-- on the steel beck of an aircraft carrier. (cheers and applause) which i have had coated with teflon so in case you get fried it's easy cleanup. we'll just hose you off into the hudson. but that's not gonna happen because for your safety tonight i have installed a lightning rod. come on out here jay the intern. jay, come on out. (cheers and applause) hi, jay, thank you so much. >> stephen, are you sure this is safe? >> stephen: it's absolutely safe jay. now, raise your copper safety wand. (laughter) little higher. higher, please. there you go. now, just stand there and pretend that you have health care. (laughter) now, in the meantime, let's check in with my good friend stephen colbert on the bridge of the "intrepid." stephen, are you there?

(cheers and applause) >> stephen: hello! thank you so much. is (audience chanting "stephen") oh, that's lovely. thank you so much. i could do that twice a night. (laughter) here we are on the bridge of the "intrepid," this exact replica of my studio. it's really nice. not as nice as the replica i had built at home but much nicer than the one on my jet. (laughter) folks, it has been a great week of gold and i would like to give a shout out right now to all my intern who work so hard on this week's concert. (cheers and applause) this is the last week for the summer interns and i cannot thank you guys enough.

thank you so much. but, folks, we've got the new batch of interns that might be the best ones to date. (laughter) five bright young women who just returned from some kind of study abroad program in london. anyway, they're very helpful and speaking of which i don't have my pen. jay the intern, could someone bring me my pen, please? >> could you give this to stephen? (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause)

>> stephen: the fierce 5, everybody! (cheers and applause) thank you so much. give it up! that was beautiful. wow! wow! that is just great. damn, this is a blue pen, i wanted a black one and i... (laughter) oh, well. oh... there it is. (laughter) anyway, those girls are winners! tiny, frighteningly strong winners. (laughter) and you know who else is a winner, snox the u.s.s. "intrepid." built in 1943 this brave lady helped us win world war ii, the korean war and vietnam. oh, people say we lost, but she's just waiting for the right

moment to go back and kick some ass. (laughter) folks, this month the "intrepid" celebrates its 30th year as a naval museum docked on the west side highway and, like many vehicles on that road, it hasn't moved an inch in three decades. (laughter) it has been an honor to serve aboard this broad vessel all week and recently i learned a little bit more about her. naval ships and new york city, they go together like penicillin ♪ new york, new york, a wonderful town ♪ so an aircraft carrier was a wonderful choice to host colbchella. i met with histor january and curator jessica williams. thank you for talking with me. >> no problem. >> stephen: i notice you are pregnant. >> i am. yup. >> stephen: at any point in this interview you feel contractions let me know and i will leave."

(laughter) >> okay. >> stephen: thank you. is it tough being a woman serving on a museum. >> in the past when "intrepid" was in service, there were no women aboard. (ship horn honks) >> stephen: that's my ride. i've got make this quick. why is the "intrepid" located here on the hudson river on manhattan's west side? i assume that's to protect us from the people of new jersey? >> no. (ship horn honks) >> stephen: i'll be right there! i have an important ship-related question for you. the "intrepid" over 41,000 tons. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: it's solid steel as far as you can see. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: how does it float? (laughter) >> the buoyancy of the ship is based on the volume of the ship and how... (ship horn honking) all right, it's.... >> stephen: i will be right

there! (laughter) what would they do with the airplanes when the "intrepid" would submerge? do they strap them to the deck so they wouldn't float off when the "intrepid" was underwater? >> well the "intrepid" doesn't go underwater. >> stephen: it used to. obviously it's decommissioned but it used to go underwater when the japanese were hunting it. >> it's not a submarine. we do have one.... >> stephen: oh, i know there's a submarine that's an aircraft carrier that rarely went underwater. i'm sure rarely. >> never went underwater. >> stephen: let's agree to disagree. you have your opinion; i have mine. they're both valid. >> sure. >> stephen: clearly the u.s.s. "intrepid" has a storied history but can we both agree that pepsi presents: stephest colbchella '012: rocktaugustfest will be the most important thing that ever happened on check? >> well, maybe an important thing. >> stephen: name one thing more important that happened on the "intrepid". >> any number of kamikaze attacks during world war ii, for example. but i think the concert will be

more fun. >> stephen: the concert will be more fun than a kamikaze attack. that's a great tag line for the show. "more fun than a kamikaze attack." excellent. well, let's take a look at the ship. >> great. oh, okay. okay. >> stephen: for the first part of my tour i met with ship historian and curator jessica williams. hi, steve colbert, nice to meet you. >> we were just talking. >> stephen: i'll take your word for it. all right. shall we? >> yes. >> stephen: this is world war ii. >> exactly, yes. >> stephen: and the boat was so small then because the japanese were very tiny? >> no, no, the boat was a full size of a boat that we're walking in right now. this is just a model. >> stephen: oh, just a tiny one. my mistake. i just thought... that's not racist. that's just... that's racial. there's a difference. >> this is another model of the ship made out of legos.

about a quarter million lego pieces. >> stephen: incredible. how many legos does it take to make the actual ship? (laughter) at this point, jessica went into labor so i finished my tour with a true veteran of the "intrepid". hi. >> how you doing there? >> steven colbert. >> robert deleo. >> stephen: what's the deal owe? you served on the "intrepid"? >> yes, i served on the ship in the spring of 1956. >> fighting the japanese. >> no way! that was the cold war. >> stephen: cold war. i don't think we fought the japanese in the cold war. >> no, eisenhower. >> stephen: i remember him. >> you don't remember him well. he said "we've got to send some guys over to lebanon." >> stephen: i had no idea the japanese were in lebanon. >> the japanese were not in lebanon. >> stephen: where were say in >> i don't know, they were home making toys. >> stephen: what do we have here? >> right here we have the f-14. it's the tomcat. >> stephen: i've got some bad

news, marino. tomcat has broken up. so we've got one of the blue angels right here. >> yes, stephen. >> stephen: i love the blue angels. >> well, they're nice. >> stephen: can't touch the planes, marino, can't touch the planes. they can go to war but they can't taken a old man touching them. >> all right. you know this guy, lieutenant? >> stephen: lou and i played squash together. who's lou chapman? >> he's a lieutenant. >> stephen: do you know him? >> he's long gone. >> stephen: did you know about him when i asked me if i knew him? >> no, i just wanted to see if you did know him. >> stephen: were you testing he? >> how did i do. >> stephen: you did fine. >> stephen: am i in the navy now? is this part of the top gun training? this one, it can fire missile. >> rockets, machine guns, there's a gatling gun right here. >> stephen: okay. but the thing that really scared the enemy would be the cartoon shark teeth? >> oh, that scared the hell out

of them. >> stephen: would the vietcong look up and go "why is that shark flying?" (laughter) now, marine know, the "intrepid" has always been this size? >> the "intrepid" has changed from this size. >> stephen: i saw the model down stairs, it was very small. >> there's one that's to scale, i think it's 1/40th. >> stephen: i like the 1-1 scale. this is how big it was. marie know, as a veteran who served on the "intrepid" i'm requesting permission to rock the boat. >> permission granted. (horn honks) >> stephen: and rock it we did! ♪ new york, new york, it's a wonderful town ♪ the bronx is up and the battery's town ♪ the people ride in a hole in the ground ♪ new york, new york, it's a wonderful town ♪ (cheers and applause)

[ male announcer ] hey, isn't that the girl who tore out your still-beating heart? ok, how's this gonna play? try manly [ screams ] [ male announcer ] eew, ok, just do your thing. hey! hey! [ male announcer ] definitely a little bit epic. stride.

(cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. thank you! my guest tonight is an eclectic musician whose latest album is entitled "master of my make believe." i can't wait for the sequel "president of my pretendies."

please welcome santigold. (cheers and applause) >> drive around to the second window, please. >> thank you. >> stephen: hello! how's it going? >> nice to meet you. >> stephen: come in this way. >> all right, you got it? (laughs) you're good. >> stephen: all right. >> how's it going? >> stephen: hold on one second, i can't hear you. hold on one second. >> okay. >> hello, how's it going? >> stephen: lovely to meet you. thank you for doing the show. snap >> you look amazing.

>> stephen: so do you, you're excellent. now, santigold, i'm fascinated by your story because you started off like a record executive. you were scouting other bands. >> yes. >> stephen: when you were record executive, would you find you or do you now seem like a risk to you then? >> i would definitely have signed me. >> stephen: really. >> because i'm a risk taker and that's why i wasn't a good record executive. but back then.... >> stephen: how long ago are we talking about? >> this is in the '90s. but this was when puffy... p. diddy... i don't know, what... well he was p. diddy then. it was just a race to anything he touched was like sign this, sign this, sign this. >> stephen: did he touch you? (laughter) >> no, he didn't. >> stephen: you said "i didn't see myself as a songwriter, i felt myself as a songwriter." i admired that. i think... i like coming from the gut. >> right. >> stephen: do you sing from the gut? >> in the writing process i definitely... the impulse is from the gut.

like, there's no thought in it at all. >> stephen: i find sometimes my gut mouth sounds better than my face mouth. (laughter) >> what? (laughs) >> stephen: there is. there's the gut where you're... >> yes? >> stephen: it's out there and then there's the face voice where you're making noises but your guts aren't behind it. are you gut mouth or face mouth? >> i think it's probably a balance between both to be honest. >> stephen: can we talk about your cog i don't gofy for a minute? >> yes. >> stephen: you choreograph dancers. you often have dancers on stage with you. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: very unusual choreography, you don't see that everywhere. a lot of jerky movements, sometimes. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: were they raised by wolfes? (laughter) >> well, um... no. (laughs) >> stephen: i've never seen that. it's very... it can be very like... sometimes very aggressive and, heky jerky. it couchs you off guard. >> and it's supposed to. i feel like the move gives

physical life to the song. the songs have a little bit of like aggressive.... >> stephen: they do. they scare me. (laughter) santigold, are you ready to maybe land this thing and do music on the "intrepid". >> ready to rock. >> stephen: let's rock the boat. >> stephen: santigold, thank you so much. i'm sorry, i'm sorry. we'll be right back with a song by santigold. (cheers and ap

>> stephen: ladies and gentlemen now with a song from her album master of my make believe, santigold. (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪ ♪ note? ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ask me why a dream gets by you ♪ but let it want turns into a dangerous thing ♪ watch out for it, it snakes right past ♪ then turns around and it sucks you in ♪ what happens when you get stuck, get to the bottom of the illusion that you're in ♪ from the roots now it's shook up ♪ know that what ails you without will do you in ♪ we're the keepers while we sleep in america ♪ our house is burning down ♪ our house is burning down ♪ we're the keepers while we sleep in america

♪ our house is burning down ♪ our house is burning down ♪ our house is burning down ♪ ♪ ♪ and not a thing i've done ♪ abatings my fear ♪ we're the keepers while we sleep in america note haute our house is burning down, our house is burning ♪ we're the keepers while we sleep in america ♪ our house is burning down, our house is burning down ♪ we're the keepers while we sleep in america ♪ our house is burning down, our

house is burning ♪ we're the keepers while we sleep in america note haute our house is burning down, our house is burning down ♪ ♪ our house is burning down, burning down, down ♪ our house is burning down ♪ down, down, burning down ♪ down, down, burning down ♪ down, down, burning down (cheers and applause)