tv The Colbert Report Comedy Central April 10, 2013 9:30am-10:00am PDT
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captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> tonight i return to the clinton global initiative. spoiler alert: we fix the withhold world. [laughter] and then it's week -- we fix the whole world. [ laughter ] and then it's week two. and my guest author charlie leduff says we shouldn't give up on detroit although he seemed awfully eager to come to new york to tell me that scientists discovered a new tarantula that is the size of a human face. correction, the size of a
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screaming human face. [laughter] this is stephen "the colbert re. ["the colbert report" theme music playing] captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheers and applause] >> stephen: thank you so much. welcome to the report. everybody. [chowd] [crowd chanting stephen! >> jon: thank you so much. thank you, everybody. folks, i have to say you are excited. i'm excited. i'm still coming down from last night's interview with bill clinton. i made prerecorded history when i got the president to join
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twitter and tweet using the handle prez billy jeff. just 24 hours as of 7:00 he has over 88,000 followers. [cheers and applause] boom! that is called the colbert bump, mr. president. [cheers and applause] welcome to the big time, my friend. the next time you are visiting one of your agricultural projects in uganda the villagers are going to go, hey, you are that dude from colbert. we ready for that. folks you want to follow the clinton foundation twitter feed @clintontweet. i know it's no perz billy jeff but it's a nonprofit. we conducted our historic chat in st. louis site of this queer's clinton global initiative university where every year college students
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present projects that make the world a better place. for instance, a few years ago jessica matthews april tended cgiu and designed a soccer ball that generates electricity for people in emerging economies. after 30 minutes of play it can power a light for three hours. best of all, you only have to watch 30 minutes of soccer. [ laughter ] so -- [cheers and applause] who knows what big idea will be next? jim? >> i headed over to the cgiu's exchange fair to check out some of the problem solving projects being presented by the brilliant young minds. but first i met up with some old friends. >> as far as i can tell the projects that you got these young people creating today, this is like a science fair but for noble causes, right? >> that's a pretty good characterization. >> thank you so much.
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my problem with this is the commitment part. why not just say we're going to do something and if we do, we do and if we don't, we don't. our hearts were in the right place. >> because talk is just that, talk. if it triggers an action or idea it matters. >> stephen: if i find out back here a fourth batman movie is released i'm missing out. i have to watch it on dvd and it's not the same. what if it's in 3-d. >> then you think about how grateful you people in africa ae tham you gave them clean water. >> stephen: but i missed batman 4. >> but you saw it on dvd. >> stephen: still -- >> we have $close to 500,000 to invest in the best commitment to help the students translate their ideas not only into commitments but the commitments to real action. >> stephen: i would love to look at the projects. all right.
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>> so this is a low cost technology that extracts the water from the atmospheric air. >> stephen: that looks a lot like a bong. is there any chance that that is just a bong? you were not like in your dorm room and the ra said what are you doing with a bong. it's to convert atmospheric moisture into water that is ad foible? no, just making sure. could it be used as a bong? >> um, i don't think so. >> stephen: it would be the only thing in the world that could not then. >> we're developing a sensor to install in a football helmet to detect traumatic brain injury and report? >> stephen: why do we need that? i played football as a kid and i never suffered any brain injury. >> most students don't even know they received a concussion over their playing time. >> stephen: but why do we need this because i played football as a kid and never suffered a brain injury.
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>> because there's been a significant increase. >> stephen: but why do we need this, i played football as a kid and never suffered a brain injury. why do you enforce the commitment? >> if you don't follow through with the commitment we won't invite you back. >> stephen: my advice for the kids just trying, based on that shoot low so you know you make your commitment. >> i see it differently. even if you don't achieve 100%, if you achieve 20% you made a tangible difference. >> stephen: if you say i commit top end world hunger step one make yourself a sandwich. if you don't go further at least you know you took the first step and you are invited back. you are using hip-hop to bridge the gap between a local community that has high crime and the swathmore community. >> yes. >> stephen: here is what i don't understand.
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you seem to care. what happened to putting your hands in the air and waving them like you just don't care. what s- that not part of hip-hop. >> it's social change and social justice. >> stephen: i understand that part. i'm fine with caring i don't know what to do with my hands now. do you mind if i hop in here and get my groove on. >> hit it. >> stephen: okay. thank you. thank you very much. [cheers and applause] >> we're from columbia and we give farmers training access to financial services and use their crops to produce a line of ready to drink teaz. >> stephen: you are partnering with farmers in colombia to move their product to market in the united states. >> yes. >> stephen: okay, would you like me to call the d.e.a. or do you want to turn yourself in? tell me what your project is here? >> there's 650 million indians who defecate outside every single day. >> stephen: is that a hobby? why do they do that? >> no.
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>> stephen: naturally do it here why outside there? >> they don't have toilets. we build community blocks of toilets and generate electricity from the methane gas produced from human waste. >> stephen: you have wind power, solar power is poop power coming? >> i think it is. we're hoping to make it the next big thing in india. >> stephen: where should people be mailing you their poop? >> i have a business card. >> stephen: after witnessing what each individual student was doing i knew i needed to make a world changing commitment of my own. i was so inspired by the commitment of these young people, and if i have only one criticism of their projects it's just that each one only addresses one problem at a time. that's why i'm so proud to introduce our project, this model volume cano. as you can see the model volcano
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itself is say meto far for all the -- metaphor for all the problems of the world. we're going to address all of these problems with our ideas because this metaphor has another metaphor inside of it. it's a two liter bottle of diet saida. that represents the plans and initiatives that is going to fix this stuff and i can work that stuff out. that's the easy part. how do i get my ideas out on to the problems? that is my third metaphor. this mento symbolizes the fundingly need to make this project a reality, okay. mr. president, chelsea, let's make a difference. you might want to step back. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause]
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woo! [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] [laughter] now i want to get this to bill gates. okay, because i need the funding to make this full scale because obviously the larger the volcano, the more problems we can solve. what do you think? >> we'll get back to you. >> stephen: okay, great. great. for one of you young people could come up with an initiative to clean this because i have a private jet to catch. thank you again.
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what a pleasure. >> very nice stephen. >> stephen: all right, bye. [cheers and applause] folks -- [cheers and applause] folks, if you think the volcano was impressive wait until next year my project is solving world hunger by reverse engineering this potato crock. we'll be right back. [cheers and applause] [cheers an]
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>> welcome back, everybody. nation, i've got to say with all the depressing news about possible war with north korea and the endless debate over g.i. gun violence i just want to lighten the mood a little and talk about the massive oil spill in may flower, arkansas. the historic site where the mayflower landed. that's not right. the pilgrims landed at little rock, i think. all i know it was definitely arkansas because they came over on an ark. you might be asking, stephen why haven't we heard anything about the cleanup of the rupture of the pegasus pipeline? because exxon has contained the cleanup coverage by threatening to have reporters arrested for trespassing and at exxon's request, its f.a.a. ordered a no
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fly zone over the area and everyone is respecting the no fly zone, especially the birds. [ laughter ] but not everyone is heeding the constitutionally guaranteed exxon press blackout. some lefty ground water hugger snuck past it and broke into arkansas. this is video by activities with the group. >> this is where they pump the oil that spilled into the neighborhood. they pumped it into this wetland. >> eric says he spoke with eyewitnesses who claimed workers power washed oil into storm drains. >> stephen: of course it's going into the storm drains. they are just putting it back underground where it came from. it's called recycling, duh! any environmentalists don't get your hemp panties in a bunch because exxon's disaster relief team has the situation under control. >> the workers have been there. they are using some kind of
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quilted papertowel to try to soak things up. these are their paper towels. >> stephen: clearly they are taking the spill seriously or they wouldn't have sprung for the quilted. exxon is employing a time honors cleanup technique pioneered by drunk guys. throw paper towels down on whatever you spilled just get out of there. there are other drunk guy options like hiding the spill a strategically placed coffee table or better yet just flip arkansas over like eye couch cushion. the point is -- [cheers and applause] the point is exxon has got this one with the paper towels. i'm sure they'll also replenish whatever forest had to be clear cut and pulped to make that many
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[cheers and applause] charlie, good to see you again. thank you for coming back. it's been a few years. nice to see you. >> thank you. >> stephen: you have a new book called "detroit: an american autopsy." what is the cause of death? what did the courneauer find? >> it's a good question. white flight, black flight, business flight we even have dead flight. >> stephen: dead people will not stay in detroit? [laughter] >> people who grew up in detroit who live out in the suburbs and are afraid of it, about 1200 in the last five years they've gone and got grandma schiewmed her and brought -- exhumed her and brought her to the suburbs to visit her. >> stephen: because they didn't want to go to detroit. >> they were afraid. >> stephen: you were away from 15 years, right?
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>> yes. >> stephen: why did you go back to detroit? >> i changed. i was the big shot norkts -- "new york times" guy. >> stephen: right pulitzer prize in your pocket. >> his a kidful. it changes everything. i look at it like this is what we're giving our kids. we have to fix with. we moved home to be with grandma, aunts and umpg. s. my wife is from there as well. i look and say to my people, what do you do here? >> stephen: what did they do? there were 8.5 million at one point and now there's 700,000 and change. >> in the 50s more people left then than at any other time. the suburbs were growing and the mecca can call cotton pickers. we never had to address racial issues. >> stephen: the white people were the on the outside.
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>> it was legal to bar jews and blacks from neighborhoods until the 1950's until michigan. in the north they never taught us that. >> stephen: i'm from the south. we're supposed to be the racists. >> right on, brother. >> stephen: but obama saved the auto industry, right? it's booming, america is back this is the second half said clintestwood in the american is story. halftime in the american story. why isn't detroit booming if the auto industry is booming? >> we all know it. the company is booming. we shaved the debt, the creditors take a bath they now make profit but the jobs are not here anymore. they are some place way over there. >> stephen: romney was right the jeep jobs were shipped to dhn. >> china, mexico, taiwan, you name it. they are not coming back. the point of book an american autopsy you better look at detroit because that what happens when you run out of money. we're scared to death of what
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they are doing in washington. printing begun spending not spending. sequestration. get the money together or the kids don't have a future. [ applause ] >> stephen: okay he was brought in as an emergency manager to fix the place. he is not elected. >> he is not elected taking over the books. >> stephen: what is it like to live not in a democracy anymore? >> that's what people say. that's the beef but, look, it's better than living in hell. get the money together. the feds have come in and helped us with the political corruption. >> stephen: is it corrupt? >> the somewhere going toll federal prison. >> stephen: illinois has had governors that go to prison. >> we're not only ones that is right. in san diego. >> stephen: maybe you are not corrupt enough because some of these other cities, hey what the market will bear. you get the government you pay for. you know the old saying. >> totally true.
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[ laughter ] tony jefferson? >> stephen: the somewhere going to jail. >> going to the can. >> stephen: has this guy got a chance to pull it together? >> we hope. the f.b.i. straightens up our political corruption. the em guy hopefully straightens up the books. the car companies are straight. we have trade with canada, all the water. >> stephen: trade weapon canada? >> one-quarter of a trillion in trade with canada comes over the bridge in detroit. that's our future. ask yourself atlanta, birlingham, stockton, phoenix, what is your future? >> stephen: i don't know. why because you think those are the next cities? >> ask the people in philadelphia? ask them in harrisburg, baltimore. this is the great swath of america. i'm scared. >> stephen: if past stories you covered the war in iraq, crossed the desert with migrant mexicans, you became a trap
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pease clown in a traveling circumstance social security of immigrants is moving back to detroit as it goes down the tubes a stunt? are you like set me on fire and push me off a cliff? [cheers and applause] >> i actually was going to run for mayor and then i realized you probably have to do the job and the time for stunts are over. time for elect the people on a name are over. we have to get hip, educate ourselves and start coming together and doing what is right for the whole -- you know, no man is an island. if one is perished if a child is hurt we're all diminished somehow. do you feel me? >> stephen: i do. i feel you, man. i feel you right here. >> no one is listening. i woke my wife up at 6:00 a.m. and said babe, i'm angry again, talk me down. >> stephen: really? what does she do to talk you down? i would love to be talked down.
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i'm angry all the time. have you ever seen the show? >> yeah. >> stephen: i'm like eye nutrient bath of rage. how did your wife talk you down? >> she says it's okay no go down and make the coffee. >> stephen: and then go to work. >> right. >> stephen: well go, to work. >> thank you. >> stephen: charlie leduff, detroit an american autopsy. we'll be right back. [cheers and applause]
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