midnight. jimmy? put up the countdown clock! (cheers and applause) that's all right. that's all right. never learned somehow-to-set that thing. hold down one of these buttons and i push that. i've got to call my nephew, have him come over. (laughter) anyway, trust me, we are counting down tonight. just look all over cable news. all the numbers are getting smaller! fox news has one; msnbc has one; cnn is counting down-- though that might just be the number of their remaining viewers. (laughter) i only wish that ronnie reagan were alive to see this looming shutdown because who can forget what he said. >> the nine most terrifying words in the english language are: i'm from the government and i'm here to help. (laughter).

>> stephen: well, good news. good news, ronnie, because come midnight tonight those nine words will be: i'm from the government and i will work for food. (laughter and applause) and tonight -- (cheers and applause) and, folks, tonight i will be covering the end of government in a must-see television event: the finale of "breaking gov." (cheers and applause) (laughter) yes, tonight the united states government ends! oh, it has been a hell of a ride, folks. what a dramatic arc! it started out as a highly sympathetic character in the 1770s, but in just 237 seasons, it has transformed into an egotistical self-destructive

maniac. (laughter) folks, i am dying to know what goes down tonight. i mean, what's gonna happen to mr. white? mr. white? mr. off white and pinkman. well, orangeman. (laughter) the best part about the finale of "breaking gov" is that the bad guys are all getting eliminated-- the national park service, the center for disease control, nasa, which is slated to furlough 97% of its employees immediately. (audience reacts) i believe we have a sneak peek of nasa's final scene. (laughter) and the government hadn't even shut down yet, but the reviews are already in. michele bachmann raves: "we're very excited. it's exactly what we wanted and we got it." and california rep devon nunez

says conservative republicans are "all giddy about it." of course they're giddy. they will still get paid in the event of a shutdown. (boos) of course -- yeah, that's one of the dramatic turns. no one saw that coming. of course -- i know, full of surprises. all of this assumes there is not a deal in the next 25 minutes. so, jim, let's check in on the negotiations. (laughter and applause) that's -- i gotta say, folks, that is going way better than i thought. (laughter) now, nation, i think of myself as an objective observer because i object to everything i observe. (laughter) this is tip of the hat; wag of the finger. (cheers and applause)

(laughter) the wheels are coming off! (laughter) nation, it's late september, which means it's time to gear up for thanksgiving. i love it all: the food, the family, the laughing, the drinking, the "no wonder your wife left you, margaret," the "that's not the proper word for asians, nana." the "everybody help clean up, mom locked herself in the laundry room with a bottle of chardonnay." it's a special time and no thanksgiving is complete without butterball turkeys. they're an american classic, just like that pilgrims kept in dark cages their entire lives up to their ankles in their own feces. pass me another drumstick. and their latest announcement made me even more of a tryptophan. (laughter) >> the butterball turkey talk line is looking far few good men. for the first time, the turkey seller is looking to hire male

operators to help give advice to anyone trying to make the perfect turkey during the holidays. for the past 32 years, only women have offered advice on the butterball turkey talk line. >> stephen: finally men on the turkey talk line! i mean -- (cheers and applause) it's about damn time the men were on the turkey talk line-- besides the ones at the n.s.a. (laughter) so a big tip of the hat to butterball for recognizing that men have the right stuffing. (laughter) folks, as butterball says "more and more men are involved in thanksgiving dinner and today one in every four calls are from men." butterball knows when a guy calls anyone, he wants another man on the line! (laughter) just like phone sex. men know what men like. (laughter) because men will give men manly cooking tips like "buy turkey,

lay on couch until sharon says it's time to carve the bird, serve and eat, return to couch." classic recipe. (cheers and applause) so good for you, butterball, for putting some man gravy on this year's bird. (audience reacts) the butterball is good, butterballs are better. (laughter) next up, folks, i am hypercompetitive and if you don't know that by now-- well, then i give up. (laughter) so i am giving a wag of the finger to the "new york times" science writer ashley merryman for an op-ed she wrote last week entitled "losing is good for you." well, if you really feel that way, ms. merryman, great news, i think you're a loser. (laughter) merryman here claims america has gone trophy crazy, especially when it comes to our kids and that after years of researching the effects of praise on kids "the science is clear: awards

can be powerful motivators but non-step recognition does not inspire children to succeed, instead it can cause them to underachieve." wrong! (laughter) wrong! this country was built on awards. what do you think gave washington the confidence to defeat the british? it was his fourth grade most improved karate participation profy! (laughter) listen up! listen up, the "new york times." i know what's going on here. you published some liberal j.d. about awards being terrible and losing the s the best right after i win these. (cheers and applause) skrao *ed. (cheers and applause) clearly, clearly, clearly somebody is jealous. because while i've been showered in gold, the only golden shower the "new york times" gets is congress teal urine. (laughter)

finally, folks, everyone knows i'm close to the jesus. he carries me on that beat so often he got a baby bjorn. that's why i'm giving a wag of my finger to science for slandering my religion. >> the institute of applied immunology showed one of the worst contaminated water sources on the planet is in churches. 86% of holy water contains fecal matter. (audience reacts) >> it would explain why they're always burning incense. (laughter) now, folks, i've always known holy water was dangerous. i mean, just look what happens when you drink it. (laughter) (screaming) a moment on the lips, an eternity of not having lips. (laughter) but what if there's fecal matter? listen to the so-called solutions. >> the researchers say if the churches would just add salt and

regularly change the water problem could be eliminated. >> stephen: add salt and change the water? we're blessing ourselves, not making linguini. (laughter) you do notes me with the original recipe. it works. taking the fecal matter out of holy water would be like taking the fecal matter out of coca-cola. i'm not saying it's in there, i'm just saying i've never seen the recipe and it is dark brown. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)

>> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight is the creator of "breaking bad." he had better tread lightly. please welcome vince gill lann! (cheers and applause) vince gilligan! hey, vince, good to see you again! thanks for coming back, man. nice to see you again. >> great to see you, too. >> stephen: last time you were here you were just starting to write the last season we just saw, correct? >> yes, that is correct. >> stephen: how did it go? i haven't heard much. (laughter) >> it seemed to go well. >> stephen: it sure did, man. you are the man of the hour, okay? first question. why stop? (laughter) are you allergic to cash? because a.m.c. must have been begging for you to keep this thing going because you guys are on a rocket ride to banktown!

10.3 million people watched it last night. >> i know, can you believe it? >> stephen: blew the door off all your previous ratings. >> amazing, amazing. >> stephen: what was the premier? the very first show, what was that? >> the premier was probably under a million viewers. we went up against some big football game and we got -- we just got crushed and -- so it was nice ending on the highest viewership we ever had. that was wonderful. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: okay. first of all, congratulations on your emmy. >> and congratulations on your emmy, my friend. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: i wasn't fishing, but it took you almost 90 seconds to say that. (laughter) let's talk about walter for a second. you've been living with this evil guy in your head for over six years now. is it going to be hard to get him out of there?

>> you know what? it's -- yeah, i think it will be hard. my writers, my six writers and i spent a lot of time thinking about this guy and, yeah, he's a tough guy to have stuck in your head for 24 hours a day, six years straight. >> stephen: people ask me sometimes, like, when did walter lose you? he never lost me. >> okay. >> stephen: i was with him to the very end. it all made sense to me. >> okay, good, good. >> stephen: didn't always root for him but it always made sense to me. >> yeah, now that's -- i'm glad. he always made sense to me, too. if the character never made sense to us as writers or to bryan cranston as the guy playing him that would be tough to -- he never lost us that way. >> stephen: were you rooting for him? >> there was times it became extremely difficult to root for him because he was kind of a bastard a lot of times. (laughter). >> stephen: what do you think is the most evil thing he did? when he broke bad, what's the

worst he broke in your opinion? >> i think nastiest thing he ever did-- spoiler alert if you haven't seen it-- >> stephen: hold on one second. if you don't want to be spoiled, i tell you what, mute your television, go to youtube and watch this video of a get to having a bath for the first time. (laughter) when we finish spoiling, i'll hold the unmute sign up. (laughter) okay, all right, we're gone. we're gone. let rip. let rip. >> you know e what? it was two episodes ago, it was an episode that was the moment where walt said to jesse with apparent glee "i watched jane die. she choked to death and i could have saved her and i didn't." i think that was the most sadistic nasty thing. >> stephen: worse than watching her die and not helping? (laughter) >> yes, you know why? because in that moment he watched her die there was a lot of conflicting emotions going on

in his face and he is -- he doesn't want to do it but he thinks it's the right thing for jesse because she's hicked him on heroin -- hooked him on heroin and you see he doesn't want to do it. but pure sadism is not something walt -- oddly enough, with all the evil things he did he was not purely sadistic very often. at that time that was the most sadistic, i think, telling jesse that he watched. >> stephen: why-- again, spoiler alert. why kill walt off at the end? i mean, why not keep him going at least in "the walking dead"? (laughter) you know, just move him over to the next project. (laughter) he'll get even smarter from eating all those brains! (laughter) >> that is a good thought. >> stephen: why did you decide he had to go? >> it seemed like the implicit promise in the show from the first episode. the first episode he is told he has two years to live thereabouts. and it seems like we should --

we should adhere to our promise we impolicedly made the audience -- maybe not implicitly, explicitly. >> stephen: he's got cancer at the beginning. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: does he become a cancer? (laughter) >> i think he actually does. i think that's an excellent point. >> stephen: was that deep of me? was i deep just now? (laughter) >> extremely deep. >> stephen: will you hold on? i'd love to talk a little bit more. i'll get more deepness. we've got to take a commercial break and we'll come back and talk more. >> right on. >> stephen: we'll be right back with more vince gilligan "breaking bad." (cheers and applause)

everybody! we're here talking to vince gilligan the creator of "breaking bad" about last night and the entire series. one of the great things,-- again, spoiler alert-- one of the great things that walt does

to skyler is "i did it for me." why does that seem like the nicest thing he has said to his family all five seasons? >> i think you're exactly right. you know why? because one of the worst things he's done in this show is lie to them so much and destroy the family through lies as well as action. and to do his wife the courtesy of being honest, to show her that respect once at least before it's all over. >> stephen: is that thing when he says "i did it for me," is that necessarily a bad thing or a bad motivation? because, i mean, i do this for me. (laughter) don't you do your show for you? >> yeah. >> stephen: is the show your blue meth? >> the show is -- you know, the show is my blue meth and now i need to be in some sort of 12-step recovery program because it's over. (laughter). >> stephen: the fame of the last episode was called "felina"

from marty robbins hit ♪ down in the west texas town of el paso, i fell in love with a mexican girl ♪ he has to come back because the bad guys have captured his girlfriend-- or the authorities have-- to draw him back and he comes back for his girlfriend in the song knowing he's going to die. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: walt comes back. does he come back for jesse, to save him? or is he coming back for the blue meth? is the blue meth his girlfriend? >> i think -- to use "lord of the rings" terms -- >> stephen: please. please. >> i think he's coming back for his precious and his precious is the blue meth in the lab, the lab he constructed. when he comes back, i think he's coming back to set things right financially for his family and after that he just wants to wipe

out uncle jack and his gang and he realizes in the hour-- in this final hour-- that jesse is still alive and he wants to wipe out jesse, too. but in other wonderful western terms, it's a bit like the end of "the searchers." all throughout "the searchers" john wayne is chasing after natalie wood's character and she's been taken by the comanches and he keeps saying "when i find her, i'm going to kill her." and at the last minute when he cease her he sweeps her up in his arms and says "let's go home." and it's a tear jerking wonderful ending and we stole from the best. >> stephen: vince, thank you so much for coming. i know you came here, like -- you flew out first thing in the morning after -- did you party all night? >> i partied until about midnight. i'm a little -- little -- a little tired today but i fly -- i'd fly 10,000 miles for you, stephen. (audience reacts). >> stephen: my favorite guest of all time, vince gilligan. thank you so much. vince gilligan, "breaking bad"

in its entirety. we'll be right back. rs aneers an

report," everybody! good night! (cheers and applause) (laughter) how's it going? >>. >> stephen, please let me go! >> stephen: i want more

"breaking bad!" >> it's over, i just can't write anymore. >> stephen: it's over when i say it's over! >> there's no story left to tell. >> stephen: what about badger? city pete? what about fuel? what about to him. what about walt, jr.? what about to jesse? did he get in a car accident? he was driving pretty fast! what about walter? maybe he's not dead! maybe he was making it. maybe he's got a twin brother. maybe he was just dreaming the whole time and he's still back in new hampshire or still sitting in the doctor's office in the first episode looking at that mustard stain! there's got to be an answer! use your imagination. >> stephen, please. >> stephen: keep typing, bitch! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

captioning sponsored by comedy central >> from comedy central's world headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart! [ cheers and applause ] >> jon: hey! ladies and gentlemen, my name is jon stewart. man do we have a show tonight. our guest tonight is going to be talking about a book i have not been this excited about a book in god knows how long, i mean you know half the crap i have on this show, but this book, the author is not david mitchell,

david mitchell is going to be on here promoting it. it is a book written by a japanese 13-year-old boy about what it is like to have autism. it is incredible. one of the most incredible things i think i have ever read. let's begin tonight with last night's march toward government shutdown, the cable networks were so excited they went around the clock, transitioning relentlessly from count down clock to before shutdown to count down clock after shutdown because on cable news this is the demarcation point in history on par with the birth of christ. >> by the way, cnn has just been given a new show, time of day. >> coming up, 6:00 o'clock. >> kidding, cnn would never give a show to them, but pundits with opposing views about what time it is. tonight