seig heil, chuck. the christmas season is always open season on titans of finance. ebenezer scrooge was a job creator. what did tiny tim ever make other than me cry. well, this christmas the median income huggers out there are still pushing bankers around and no one is getting hid harder than my buddy c.e.o. jamie dimon. for more we go to nbc an four grader trick-or-treating rachel maddow. >> the nearest and deerest to jayie dimon this holiday see be, recently graced with this panoramic holiday card in your mail box. it shows the first family of finance having a great time hitting tennis balls inside what seems to be their home. and says hey, we're so rich we can destroy our own stuff with a smile. >> stephen: disgusting. calf or thing around your own home with your own family? at christmastime. come on.

i condition think of anything more decadent except maybe murdering a tree and dressing it up like a whore. no wonder, nond withouter, folks, no wonder "time" magazine called the cards maddeningly tone deaf and ask could you pick a more elitist sport? yes, elitist, ten sis just polo without a horse that can be played in a public park. jamie die upon forgot the golden rule of 1 percenters, the 99ers need to previous your money has made you miserable. his christmas card should have been him weeping alone on a pile of money. folks, this is why, this is why, i didn't mail out my christmas card this year. it's a picture of me water-skiing through the kitchen hi built off of my two closets. folks, i tell you, they criticize but i need that kevin. the sherpas who guide me to my sandal shelf are hungry.

so as much as i hate to do it, shame on you jamie dimon. and news media, you keep holding the bankers accountable for insensitive christmas cards because i hope we can all agree, that's the real crime on wall street. nation, i love-- (applause) you know, folks, i love christmas. it's such a joyful season. and that joy is hard on fox news because their job is to make us scared and andry. that's why this tile of the year they bring out the big guns like fox news contributor and vanilla pudding skin-- to give you the gift of anxiety. set them up, december. >> christmas may be the season for giving but it's also the season for scamming, peter johnson, jr. is here to warn us about the 12 scams of christmas. >> you know, steve, on the 12th day of christmas, the scammers gave to me, 12 reindeer rippoffs, 11 santa

scammers, 10 christmas coupon cons, and nine stolen gift cards. >> stephen: even worse evidently some scammers stole the tune from five golden rings and marked it up to nine. now folks, folks, johnson, jr. peter went on to explain the scam. >> let's go through the 12th big scams of christmas. number one, boggus charities. number two, mallwear e holiday card. number 8 santa's slay scam, the home alone scam. >> sure. >> sending an e-mail or call, i'm stranded, please, i need, send me money. don't be wiring money. reindeer rippoff, very perform. be careful about buying chia pets on-line, the pooch might have flees. finally, the penultimate mistle toe madness be don't fall in love with somebody on-line. they're trying to bilk you. >> stephen: now that's a lot of warnings, so let's

review. your stranded loved ones are all liars [bleep] them. if you buy a dog on-line, it will have flee, which are incurable so you have to put it down in front of the kids, merry christmas. and finally, finally, the penultimate, don't fall in love with somebody on-line. it appears to have happened to peter johnson, jr.. you know how it is, you chat with the ukrainian woman on-line, buy her an airline ticket to vit, you marry her and the next thing you know her brother is moving in, for some reason he's the one without gets to sleep with her, or so i've been told. i'll never forget you he caterina. i am this close to change the pin on my bank card. now folks, after hearing that little list of scams there, i hope you're so scared that you drop the yule log in your pants. but junior johnson peter only scratched the surface there are so many more scams that he left out. like gift drift, where you

buy a present and are you expected to give that to sebls. hey, i just paid for that, why should i give it away. and the knockout game where a teenager knocks you out with a frozen carton of egg nothing and sprinkles you with nutmeg, it's sweeping the country, folks. -- people are doing it. kringle krunch that one is self-explanatory, frosty frost, where a snowman steals your identity, the next thing you know he's sleeping with your wife and your kids are calling him daddie and it's your own fault for bringing him to life with that magic hat, don't do it. and finally, santa claus, huge scam. never once did he bring gifts to my children. and they're really good gifts. i mean they give me presents every year and yet they get nothing. i don't get it i don't get it. he brought me presents when i was a kid. why did he stop? santa claus, listen up old man, i am giving you one more chance, do not disappoint my children this christmas. because i've got 18 years 6

milk and cookies on my .

>> welcome back, everybody. nation, this is my final show before the 2013 celebration of christmas. which of course i love. i also love that i will be

leaving 2013 on a serious note. because the pc police have pulled over yet another patriot. >> duck dynasty is making headlines for off camera drama. phil robertson, the star of the a & e hit show has been suspended indefinitely from filming the reality show after making controversial remarks. >> stephen: this is a terrible day for americans. so admittedly a pretty good day for ducks. now just why did a & e axe him? because this good christian man spoke his mind to gq about the gays saying it seems like to mean a vagina as a man would be more desirable than a man's anus. that's just me, i'm just thinking, there's more there. but hey, it's not logical, my man, start with homosexual behavior and morph out from there, bestialit, now i'll admit, i will admit, i will admit it's not eloquent speech you might expect from a backwoods louisiana bird

murderers, but he does have a point. the vagina does have more there i mean let's face t it's a train wreck, who knows what is going on with that business. fans rallied to him. with 55,000 signing a petition saying mr. robertson's comments in "gq" magazine are reflective of a biblical view of sexuality, marriage and family. yeah, it's right there in the bible. man shall not live by bread alone because with the vagina there's more there. (laughter) folks, folks, tonight -- -- (laughter) (cheers and applause) tojt tonight we are all phil robertson.

phil has taught us so much like this little bit of eternal wisdom. >> if you catch squirrels for your wallet-- your woman will never cut you off in bed. >> stephen: and if she does, hey, you still got the squirrels. and it's not like he singled out homosexuals. he also waxd nostalgi nostalgia-- nostalgic for the jim crow era, he said i have never in my sigh eyes seen any misdream of blacks. they are sing and happy, i never heard one, these doggone white people, not a word. free entitle thement, they were godly, they were happy no one was sing the blues. yes, but people had nothing to sing the blues about, for pete's sake, they got their own water fountain. in fact, they had it so good white people pretended to be them. i tell you, who i kneel sorry for, folks, a & ew this controversy, they may have just lost duck dynasty's massive black and

gay audience. we'll be r r

>> stephen: welcome back, everybody, you might know my guest, he is the star of the secret life of walter hitty, please welcome ben stiller. (cheers and applause)

>> stephen: whooo! hey, ben, good to see you. hey. thank you so much. good to see you, so flis nice to meet you face-to-face. >> i know, how are you. >> stephen: i'm great, how are you. >> i'm doing well. >> stephen: you're that guy i like. >> oh, good. >> stephen: i love your movies, man. >> thank you, thank you. >> stephen: i love your movie, i love new those movies. >> yeah, well i tend to be in the movies that i'm in, so. >> stephen: but i like new those movies. >> i ten to be in the movies that you like that i am in. >> stephen: i understand. but here is what i don't get about actors, does that mean i like you? >> i done know. >> stephen: all right. something about marry, tropic thunder, okay. >> those are the two. >> stephen: now, but right up there, man, right up there. but now you've got this secret life of walter hitty. >> that's right, yes. >> stephen: this is a beautiful movie. >> thank you, thank you. >> stephen: a little clip

here. >> let's see, i bathed in arctic mountain water. >> i'm walter hitty. >> cheryl, millhoff. >> where have you been. >> testing the limits of the human experience. >> perhaps i can contact you, possibly through my-- poetry falcon. >> poetry falcon, i like that (cheers and applause) >> stephen: yeah, those guys a mountain climber. >> no, no he is managing that, walter has, you know, he is a day dreamer sow lives in his head. he has this incredible potential inside of him to be all of these things but in real life he can't realize that. it is all about the potential that we have inside of us and who we can be and being the best possible version of ourselve it is something that i think is universally relatable,

that being. >> stephen: i didn't get it. >> well, he keeps on, he is a sculpture, a mountain climber at one point and one point he is a little old man, another one -- >> exactly. >> stephen: a which of those is the real walter hitty. >> well, they're all aspects of his personality. they're all part of who he is. it is the same way you or i have so many different aspects to who we are. i'm sure have a lot of different dimensions inside. >> stephen: sometimes i wear a tie, sometimes i don't. >> yes, right so, if you were in walter hitty one of your characters you would be wearing a tie and the other one you wouldn't. >> stephen: right. >> yeah. >> stephen: don't actors just imagine that they are someone else, are you walter hitty? >> i have no idea what you are saying to me, what? >> stephen: are you walter hitty, is ben stiller walter hitty. >> yeah, sure there are parts of me i can relate to in the character. >> stephen: don't yell at me, don't yell at me, i'm asking you a question. >> sorry, sorry. >> stephen: all right, what i want to know is --

>> i'm-- i didn't get your your film, i didn't get-- cards on the table, i'm not one of these hollywood elitists who understand films like something about mary or tropic thunder or this one. >> i get it. >> stephen: i don't get art film. >> you don't go for the high fall outin. >> stephen: i don't go for that. -- does things that are real. >> he engages in real life. >> stephen: he actually does things later. >> he does real things, things that he imagined doing and he has to step into reality, and kind of seize the moment and go and live his life for real. >> stephen: which one of those is better. >> well, real life, i think, you know, is a good thing. and having an imagination is a good thing also. i think both are aspects, your imagination, your day dreams can fuel your real life and get to you do things that you wouldn't necessarily do, if you didn't have that imagination. >> stephen: okay, okay. so imagination is good. and real life is good. >> yesing exactly. both are okay. >> stephen: do he makes no

journey-- he's managing things an it's good and later it does real things that are good so he doesn't get any better or worse throughout the film. >> did you actually see the movie. >> stephen: i did see its movie, i didn'tee it shall did -- i saw it out of order. >> okay. >> stephen: i saw it benjamin button style. >> right, right, exactly. >> stephen: that is one of my favorite skeerntion spoiler alert, i don't want to spoil anything that is one of my favorite things in the movies. >> no, no it's all about becoming who, you know, the best possible version of yourself, i guess or being who you want to be. >> stephen: is this the best possible version of you, ben stiller. >> unfortunately, at this moment, yes. >> stephen: as good as it gets. >> yes. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: all right, now let's talk about the elephant in the room. this thing opens on christmas day. >> yes t is. >> stephen: that is balancesy, my man. that's balancesy, you are saying to a christian nation, don't be with your family on christmas day, come see my movie. >> yeah, well, you know-- .

>> stephen: to hell with jesus. >> i wanted first night of hanukkah as the opening and it was not available. >> stephen: they didn't go for it. >> your dad, jerry stiller gave us festivus. >> yes, he did. (cheers and applause) >> yeah. i grew up in a house with my mom irish catholic and my dad jewish so we had hanukkah and we had christmas, we had it all. >> stephen: celebrated christmas as well. >> merry christmas. >> thank you, we had the tree, we didn't get ultra religious about it. >> stephen: and you might want to say. >> happy hanukkah, merry christmas, i love christmas, it's the season, it's giving, it's warmth, it's generosity, it's appreciating what we have. >> stephen: okay. well, thank you for the gift you've given all of us on christmas day. >> thank you. >> stephen: a way to get away from our family. >> exactly. go play golf for five hours

and complete this deal. >> stephen: i'm playing golf up here right now. i'm on the 8th hole of pebble beach. >> i have been playing tennis for the last 15 seconds in my head. >> stephen: how are you doing. >> wonderful, i just asd you. >> stephen: really? you are such an elitist. ben stiller, thank you so much. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: the secret life of walter hitty, christmas day. ben stiller, w we' we'

is wells this's it for 2013, everybody, but before we g the blind buys of alabama. ♪ ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ over the hills and everywhere ♪ ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ that jessus christ is

born ♪ ♪ go told it on the mountains ♪ ♪ over the hills and everywhere ♪ ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ that jesus christ is born ♪ ♪ while shepherds kept their watching ♪ ♪ over silent flocks by night ♪ ♪ behold throughout the heavens ♪ ♪ there shown a holy light ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ over the hills and everywhere ♪ ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ that jesus christ is

born ♪ ♪ when i was a seeker ♪ i is seek both night and day ♪ ♪ i pray to let the lord to help me ♪ ♪ help me lord ♪ and he shows me the way ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ over the hills ♪ over the hills and everywhere ♪ ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ that jesus christ is born ♪ ♪ the shepherd is feared and trembled ♪ ♪ when ♪ is rang out ♪ that ♪ angel bird ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪

♪ ♪ over the hills ♪ and everywhere ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ that jesus christ was born ♪ ♪ he come ♪ ♪ if i am ♪ a christian ♪ i am the one ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ over the 4i8s ♪ and everywhere ♪ go tell it on the mountain ♪ ♪ that jesus christ is born ♪ ♪ go tell on the mountain ♪ over the hills and

everywhere ♪ ♪ go tell on the mountain ♪ that jesus christ is born ♪ ♪ (cheers and applause) >> whooo. >> merry christmas, everybody. good night! whooo! (cheers and applause) >> december 18, 2013. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome! to "the daily show." my name is still jon stewart.

the guests tonight, you couldn't have tuned in on a better night. a lot of shows say, we've got will ferrell on the show. that's tremendous. we also have david koechner on the show. that's almost too much show. paul rudd will be joining those two, the three of them and what do we get, three, why not four, why not put steve carell on the show, as well, all four. [cheering and applause] and what did you do today? [laughter] let's begin in washington. you know, if you watch this show regularly... [laughter] really? nobody? all right. you're probably accustomed to two things: the delightful rhyme [bleeped]. [laughter] and maddening tales of waste, fraude and abuse.