jon: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. >> happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. happy birthday dear marshall, happy birthday to captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the

reported, everybody, thank you for joining us. thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. it is good to have you here tonight. oh, listen to the people. listen to the people's voices. calling out to me. (cheers and applause) if every -- >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. let's get to the big story. everybody's talking about it, new jersey governor and future former republican front-runner chris christie is embroiled in a scandal with a side of imbroglio, recently released e-mails

reveal high level christie staffers deliberately snarled traffic last september on the busiest bridge in the world, the george washington bridge, named of course, for one of our founding fathers, george w bridge. port authority officials shut down two of the three access lanes in the town of fort lee, new jersey, claiming it was a a traffic study but in fact it was political payback against the town's mayor who refused to endorse christie's re-election bid. critics are blasting the move as petty and unpresidential. >> without does stuff like this. >> it certainly seems petty. >> it seems to petty, so petty. >> i do think that all of that makes him look smaller. >> and that is the first time anyone has ever said that about chris christie. (applause) >> stephen: this after just last month the governor insisted the gridlock was the result of a traffic study and laughed off any

accusations. >> i worked the cone, actually, on that, unbenoens to everybody i was the guy out there i was in overalls in a hat so i was-- but i actually was the guy working the cones out there. >> you really are not serious with that question. >> stephen: yeah, you cannot be serious with that in retrospect, extremely serious question. because back then it was ridiculous. almost ridiculous as the name of the police officer who actually coned off the lanes, captain licorice. (laughter) >> stephen: i believe we have a photo of the captain. (laughter) and folks, there is absolutely no connection between him and chris christie, they have never even been seen in the same room together. but nation, even captain licorice may not be able to save the governor from new revelations of damning e-mails. for more on the e-mails we turn to the colbert report's senior cnn anchor jake

tapper, jake. >> there is one sent a few weeks before the lane closeure from bridgette anne kelly, a deputy chief of staff for governor christie to david wildstein the political appointee at the port authority in charge of the bridges, bridget anne kelly says time for some traffic problems in fort lee. and david wildstein responds, got it. the mayor of fort lee reached out to wildstein saying help, please, it is maddening, unquote. wildstein forwarded the plea to someone whose name has been redacted in these e-mails, in fact. is it wrong that i am smiling, the person asked. no, wildstein replied. >> stephen: no, it's not wrong to be smiling, it's wrong to have saved the text about you smiling. (laughter) >> stephen: well, nation, this morning in a triumphant 108 minute someone else-a-culpa, christie faced these allegations head on with a press conference that jamd the airways with a 32 denial

pileup. >> i was blindsided yesterday morning. i was done with my workout yesterday morning-- (laughter) >> and i got a call from my communications director at about 8:50, 8:55. informing me of this story that had just broken on the web site. that was the first time i knew about this. this morning i terminated the employment of bridgeet kelly, effective immediately. i terminated her employment because she lied to me. >> stephen: in retrospect he probably should have suspected this traffic scandal was linked to bridge-it kelly. (laughter) >> stephen: and if i were him i would keep my eye on communications director lane closure. (laughter) and folks, i don't trust her, i do not trust her. and this violation was hard given how muchistie-- chris-year cares for his staff. >> it's been written a lot over the last couple days about what a tight nit staff

i have. and how closely everyone works together. and that is true. we're a family. >> stephen: yes, an when someone in your family lies to you, you fire them. that's what i did when my six-year-old claims to have brushed his teeth. don't come to me for a reference, juddas. his mother was right, we should not have named him that. but throughout what historians will now call the 100 year press conference, christie never lost sight of who truely was hurt by this, chris christie. >> the fact is right now i'm saddened. the emotion i have been displaying in private is sad. >> i'm saddened. >> i'm saddened. i'm sad. that is the predominant emotion i feel right now, is sadness. i don't know what the stages of grief are in exact order. >> stephen: wait, wait, wait, i think i know this, i know the stages of grief. it goes sadness, press conference, denial, anger, political death. (laughter)

but christie-- (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i don't know, i'm not a doctor, but christie doesn't think so. because there still could be an innocent explanation. >> there still may have been a traffic study. >> stephen: yes, there may still have been a strafk study. for instance, we now have ample data suggesting that cutting down lanes on the busiest bridge in the world to punish political rivals can come back to bite you in the ass. lev laugh and even if, even if it wasn't a traffic study, folks t doesn't have to be doom forchristie. because i agree with cnn panelist and lenscrafter catalog model se cupp. >> look, i think if you are in not new jersey or not d.c. you, you look at this story which is actually pretty complimented and you think he who did what to whom, when, where, what? what? >> stephen: what? what? what? lev laugh i mean she's right. americans can't understand complicated abstract concepts like revenge and

traffic. now-- (laughter) >> stephen: now some people say the whole saga plays into the narrative that christie is a bully. but on day four of today's press conference he laid that myth to rest. >> i am not a bully. >> stephen: it's settled. (laughter) okay, boom, boom. for those of you out there keeping score, christie's not a bully. nixon is not a crook and this is not a pipe. bottom line, bottom line, no one can definitively prove the original order came from chris christie. but i would like to go on the record as saying god, i hope it did. because a year ago when i saw him palling around with barack obama after hurricane sandy, i was worried he was one of those fake conservatives who secretly

believes that the government can do things. but now i realize he's the kind of leader i can get behind. the kind who says it's my way or i shut down your highway. christie-- is a true conservative. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: he is committed to proving the core conservative value that government is the problem even if he has to create those problems himself. i can already see his 2016 bumper sticker, christie, bringing america together or i will [bleep] you over. best of all, best of all, his scheme will make sure-- his team will make sure you have plenty of time read those bumper st st

>> stephen: welcome back, everybody, folks, i got to tell you, truth be told, the thing that really hammers my banana about this whole christie flap is that it's all just a distraction from the real scandal that barack obama is a failure. the facts don't lie. and now at long last those facts are backed up by some information. it's all informer defense secretary robert gates new memoir. >> the book is called computey. >> doubty. >> everyone is talking about duty. >> stephen: yes, duty is on everyone's lips. and the book isn't even out yet. next week is when the doesn'ty drops but a little bit of duty has already leaked out and for such a

small piece of doubty it's raising quite a stink. (laughter) (applause) jim. >> the former defense secretary has scathing criticism of the commander in chief. robert gates is harshly questioning president obama's leadership and commitment to the afghanistan war from the start of the surge he ordered. >> the former defense secretary describes president obama as desperate to abandon the war effort writing, quote, the president doesn't trust his commander. can't stand karzai, doesn't believe in his own strategy and doesn't consider the war to be his. for him it's all about getting out. >> stephen: doesn't consider the war to be his, oh. president bush's house, his plane, his helicopter, happy to take those. but he wanted to throw away bush's war the same way he tossed out his oval office hamburger phone. (laughter) >> stephen: how he loved telling world leaders he was just calling to ketchup.

folks, this duty is so explosive, but this isn't some hit job. >> through the book will are positive references to obama, balanced by a serious criticism. and the positive references give the criticisms, i think, even more oomph. >> stephen: even more oomph and that is some incisive analysis from rush which is surprising because the machine's got [bleep] for brains. and remember, remember, remember folks, please, remember that criticism got oomph because i said something positive about limb first. and it only gets worse. secretary gates rights that he came to the president's afghanistan strategy i believe obama was right in his decisions but i myself, our commanders and our troops had expected more commitment to the cause and more passion for it from him. yes, obama made the right decisions but he faked his

war-gasm. secretary gates, secretary gates much preferred president bush who had no second thoughts about iraq including our decision to invade. no second thoughts. i'm pretty sure he didn't have first thoughts. (laughter) that's called leadership. bottom line. (applause) bottom line, this book is a scathing portrait of our so-called commander in chief. a president who opposes our involvement in afghanistan. and there's only one way to describe people with that attitude. 82% of americans we'll be right back. chooeus

>> welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight as a film producer who is giving away-- i assume he proud "47 ronin". please welcome jeff skoll. (cheers and applause) boom. so nice to meet you, thanks so much for coming on. >> thank you some of. >> for the people out there who may not know who are you, and please forgive them lerkts's get your cd out there. >> right. >> okay, you were-- internet entrepreneur, philanthropist and are you also founder and chairman of participant media. >> that is correct. >> stephen: so what do you want to do with participant media. >> so participants is sort of a dream i had as a kid to

tell stories that with make a difference in the world. and i thought i would do that by being a writer. but participant is now a full-fledged movie and tv studio. >> stephen: a lot of these movies, you know, you created a place for, you know, like films and documentaries that have sort of a liberal agenda. those are-- there's a place for that already. it's called hollywood. >> hollywood, yes, yes, there is, indeed,. >> stephen: let's talk about some of these films. they have been pretty big films, we have syriana is yours, the help, waiting for superman, charlie-- roar, lincoln and an inconvenient truth. >> right. (applause) >> stephen: among others. now you made 3.8 billion as one of the first employees as ebay, all right. why would you go do this with it, why don't you have a yacht and -- >> right, now that would be

a reasonable thing and a lot of friends that i have known over the years have done just that. >> stephen: right. it's only a slightly quicker way to lose your money than making documentaries. >> right, except with documentaries you do it a little bit at a time. >> stephen: all right, but do you think these films are liberal? because i think they're liberal. >> i would like to think that we're weren'ting conversations about important issues whether it's nuclear weapons or food insecurity. >> stephen: pro or con nuclear weapons, by the way. >> very good question. >> stephen: thank you, how bay good answer. >> well, we try to present information for a conversation. and we try to let people figure out from there where they want to take it. so for example with the film waiting for superman, we took a look at the u.s. education system which is broken. and we presented the system as a whole. and we worked with a lot of

experts and advisors and then left it up to the audience to try to figure out what's the problem here. why is our system not working quite the way it should be. >> stephen: have you ever worried that perhaps movies have too much influence on us because you're a billionaire that can help bankroll some films. for instance, you had a film about the cove, tell people what that was about. >> absolutely, thank you, yes. the cove was a documentary about dolphin hunting in japan. and it turns out that there is a big industry of capturing dolphin, selling them to sea world and then-- . >> stephen: also for meat too. >> and then selling the rest for meat which is not a good idea because dolphins are at the top of the food chain and full of mercury. so we did a film called the cove. and it got so much attention and so many petitions that the media camped out in japan where they were doing

the fishing, and the fishing boats didn't go out. >> stephen: so you actually stopped it. >> for the first time we stopped the dolphin hunting. >> stephen: so that's what i am talking about. that is what i am talking about, you got them to stop. >> yes. (applause) >> stephen: couldn't another billionaire come along and make a documentary about how delicious dolphin meat is? which i obviously have not knowledge of. >> right. >> stephen: and then it would start again, isn't it just sort of a war between guys with money. >> well, we've been looking for a sequel so maybe that's an idea. but no, i think honestly, people are basically good and if you give good people information about things in the world, then they'll take action. and with every one of our films we put together campaigns so that people can get involved. in part we do that through

our site take part which is our on-line site for activists. and we have about 6 million users and about a million actions were taken last year signing petitions. going to the organizations and helping out. and this is growing really fast. and so when you tie together the information of the film with the opportunity to actually do something, and the trust that good people will do good things, good things happen. >> stephen: well, i mean, that sounds all well and good. but are there times when you just-- because it's a whim like you say to yourself, did you contagion, right. >> yes. >> stephen: dow say to yourself, you know, i'm a billionaire, i would like to see what gwyneth paltrow looks like -- >> so contagion was our answer to the swine flu which everyone had heard was going to be a really terrible pandemic.

>> stephen: yes. >> and it turned out that it was bad but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. and all of our experts say we're overdue for a real pandemic. and we said well, let's show what a real pandemic looks like so that when something like this happens, we're not underprepared. and so at the time there was a big push, especially by the tea party folks to cut funding to the cdc. and we had screening of contagion on the hill and after seeing the screening, the tea party withdrew their objections and the cdc got its funding. >> stephen: wow. (applause) >> stephen: okay. last question and i have to ask this of all my guests, can i have a billion dollars? >> absolutely. you had your pac which i believe has already contributed a billion-- . >> stephen: did you give money to the colbert super pac.

>> of course i did. >> stephen: then --. >> i'm a big fan, as i said. >> stephen: i am the only person who knows where that cash ended up and i want to thank you. thank you so much. >> thank you so much. >> stephen: jeff s ,x,xjr

. >> stephen: welcome back, nation, now folks, before we go, just a quick program note, i won something, jimmy.

>> stephen colbert,ed people's choice for favorite late night talk show host. con greatlations, stephen. whooo! whooo! >> stephen: thanks. thanks, tina and amy. that's right. i am the people's choice for favorite late night host. and as a people myself, i couldn't choose me more. of course i wasn't there to accept my people's choice award so i do to the have the coveted crystal vagina yet but i have the next best thing, this high school anatomical model of a uterus. and folks, i want to thank all the hardworking twitter-bots that outvoted jimmy fallon's twitter-botts. i'm sorry, jimmy, i'm sorry, jimmy, i guess that's why they're cancelling your show in february. but i'm sure you'll find something by march. and finally, folks, because

you chose me, i want to thank all the people out there. and i mean all of them starting with aaron a aardvark, thank you. aaron a aardvark, jr., you are the best. aaron b aardvarkenberg, we could not have done it without you, good anton onaardvark lopez garcici captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ tomorrow you shuck the cane ♪ ♪ your little fingers bloody ♪ prepare to be whipped - [whispering] she's asleep. [laptop rings] [baby fusses] - [loudly] hey, it's mommy! i'm in beijing! - shh. liddy just went to sleep. - well, wake here up, jack. she needs to hear her mommy's voice.