[cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show. here it's your moment zen. >> the cost benefit analysis of those two weighed on the side of me not having a private meeting with bridget kelly in the aftermath of these revelations. that is far, terry from saying. >> stephen colbert is facing serious backlash this morning after a tweet sent by the show from the @colbertreport account. >> people are calling for the stephen colbert show to be canceled... canceled! (audience sighs) (laughter) (applause)

(laughter) >> ahhh! don't worry, stephen. you were just having a nightmare. >> stephen: what's happening? recent stressful events in your life have caused an implosion, combined with your narcissistic persecution complex combined themselves for destruction. >> stephen: i know that stuff. what are you still doing here? >> you're still dreaming, stephen. >> stephen: and i'm dreaming about b.d. wong because -- >> you fell asleep watching law and order, special victims unit. >> stephen: thanks for

stopping by. >> my pleasure, stephen. (laughter) >> stephen: so... could you leave? >> i can't leave until you wake up. >> stephen: oh. and b.d. wong has some ( bleep ) to do. >> stephen: oh, yeah, of course. sure. bye! this is still the colbert report! >> hi. captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you, ladies and gentlemen! good to have you with us. (audience chanting)

>> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, i know this is not the first time you've heard me say this-- folks, i know this is not the first time you've heard me say this, but what the hell is happening to this country? everyday, we lose a little bit more. this morning, i looked at the sole of my shoe and it said: "made in vietnam." (laughter) c'mon, this is america. it should say "made in china"!! (laughter) well, now, the forces of cultural corrosion are targeting the precious little miracles we hold most dear. our phones. (laughter) jim? >> you know the smiley face icons called emogi all over your text and tweets?

they're working with unicode consortium to come up with new ones! >> stephen: ugh! this makes me so angryface that i could punch a snowman into a circumstances tent full of sexy stilettos. after that, i'll have to cool down with a handful of pills and a turkey drumstick. (laughter) ladies and gentlemen, the diversity mafia is whining that the emoji characters are predominantly white. of course they are! white male is american neutral. it's the baseline model. if you want to accessorize, you're free to add bells and whistles like "melanin" or "vagina." but now, the pc police are gonna shove new ethnic emotions into our phones. i can't just be sad anymore. i'll have to be "black" sad. (laughter) i'm sorry. that's way sadder than i'm willing to be! besides, there's already plenty

of diversity on the emoji keyboard. like turban guy. (laughter) he could represent anything. a hindu, a muslim, a genie, or head trauma victim of any race. (laughter) and folks, internet equality is more important than ever, as i learned this weekend when the interwebs tried to swallow me whole. but i am proud to say that i got lodged in its throat and it hacked me back up like a hastily chewed chicken wing. (laughter) this is who's attacking me now. (cheers and applause) to find out what happened to me on the internet, we turn to the tv. >> people are calling for the stephen colbert show to be canceled after a tweet about asians appeared on the comedy central twitter account. >> the @colbertreport is trending this morning.

>> @colbertreport is trending this morning. >> @colbertreport went viral. >> stephen: but folks, i'm still here! (audience chanting "stephen") >> stephen: it's all because of you people! the dark forces trying to silence my message of core conservative principles mixed with youth-friendly product placement have been thwarted. (laughter) went through a few of these this weekend. but folks, i'm not going to lie-- it was close. we almost lost me. (laughter) i'm never going to take me for granted ever again. here's what happened to me. last wednesday, i saluted washington redskins owner daniel

snyder for his new charity, the washington redskins original americans foundation. which some have called an obvious attempt to win over native americans because it only uses the term "redskins" once in its name. (laughter) now, i have my own racial misunderstanding with the asian community over a long-running and beloved character on my show. very important. he is a character. he is not me. this is the real stephen colbert. i mean everything i say on this show. he means... well, you would have to ask him. and he's not returning my calls. anyway, i was so inspired by dan snyder's charitable outreach that i formed my own charity. "the ching chong ding dong foundation for sensitivity to orientals or whatever." (laughter) that was wednesday. it reran four times on thursday, was posted on the show's facebook page.

not a peep out of the internet. then around 7:00 on thursday, my network's promotional twitter account, @colbertreport, tweeted the name of my foundation without providing a video link to the original segment or mentioning that i was inspired by the redskins charity. who would have thought a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstandings? (laughter) but i have never once used @colbertreport. as you heroes know, i'm @stephenathome. though full disclosure, i sometimes tweet from @stephenathome at work in the bathroom. then, when the twit hit the fan, the brain trust at my network took the tweet down, because

that's how this internet works. you can just take stuff down and no one will ever know it happened. just ask mayor wiener. (laughter) now, i'm not trying to throw anyone under the bus here. mostly because i don't go that close to public transportation. but when i saw the tweet with no context, i understood how people were offended. same way i, as an irish-american, was offended after reading only one line of jonathan swift's "a modest proposal." i mean, eat irish babies?! hashtag cancel swift! trend it! (laughter) (applause) now, all of this was started by a hashtag activist, or a hashtivist, who has been viciously attacked on twitter. if anyone is doing that for me, i want you to stop right now. she's just speaking her mind. that's what twitter's for, as well as running the ending of every show i haven't watched

yet. now, the cancel colbert people think that even in context, i'm a racist. i just want to say that i'm not a racist. i don't even see race. not even my own. people tell me i'm white, and i believe them because i just devoted six minutes to explaining how i'm not a racist. (laughter) (applause) and that's about the whitest thing you can do. now, once the cancel colbert hashtag got rolling, it was one to have the top five trends for more than 36 hours because everybody wants to talk about the king. (laughter) then it was picked up by a small group of americans who get their information "only" from twitter -- the news media. there were online stories in the "u.s.a. today," the "new yorker," "variety," "slate," the "huffington post," three features on "time dot-com"

and seven on "salon." cnn even took a break from their malaysian airliner coverage to report spotting what they thought was the wreckage of my show off the coast of australia. (laughter) (applause) but maybe most hurtful, my fellow conservatives abandoned me in my time of need. like michelle malkin, who "co-signed" on to cancel-colbert and called me a "coward." this cuts deep, especially since i learned everything i know about sensitivity to the asian-american experience from michelle's 2004 book, "in defense of internment." (audience booing) turns out they had it coming. (laughter) one less thing to feel guilty about. so to recap-- a web editor i've

never met posts a tweet in my name on an account i don't control, outrages a hashtag activist, and news media gets 72 hours of content. the system worked! (laughter) but this all started right after i taped thursday night's show, so i couldn't respond until today. in a sense, i "was" canceled... for three days. just like jesus. (laughter) (applause) but i'm back, and nation, i want to apologize... for caring enough to try and bridge a cultural divide with my foundation. i thought we were ready. if i have a fault, it's that i believed in the american people

too much. was i wrong to? (audience answers "no! ") i wish i could believe that, but they have called for canceling colbert, and i'm willing to meet them halfway. effective immediately, and i can't believe i'm saying this, i am shutting down the worldwide operations of the ching chong ding dong foundation for sensitivity to orientals or whatever. (laughter) no, no -- i have to! i can tell how sad you are about it (audience says, oh! ] the saddest part is, because of all the attention, we raised a lot of money over the weekend. money that will now be donated to dan snyder's washington redskins original americans foundation, which clearly does not offend the internet, 'cuz i haven't seen ( bleep ) about that. now, to fire the entire foundation staff. ja-mes, get out here. ja-mes, everybody.

i have terrible news, ja-mes. >> it's james. (applause) (laughter) >> stephen: ja-mes, i'm going to have to let you go as chief operating officer of the foundation. call sir paul and miley and tell them the concert's off. then clear out your desk. >> but i'm the only asian person you know. >> stephen: i'm sorry, ja-mes. i have no choice. but i will let you return to the show for no pay as part of the michelle malkin memorial unpaid internment program. (laughter) (applause) ja-mes, everybody! >> um... thank you? >> stephen: well, that ends that controversy. i just pray that no one ever tweets about the time i said rosa parks was overrated, hitler had some good ideas, or ran a cartoon during black history month showing president obama

teaming up with the ku klux klan. 'cause, man, that sounds pretty bad out of context. (laughter) we'll be right back with the founder of twitter, biz stone. (cheers and applause) (music) yo, untamed larger than life, move fast fruit flavor, watermelon, blue razz green apple. your taste buds dancing. it's the jolly rancher, we make it happen. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. the annual company retreat. planned, as usual, by this guy. nature lover... people person. ♪ and you put up with it all... because he also booked you a room... at this place. planet earth's number one accomodation site: booking.com booking.yeah!

(cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you, everybody! now, folks -- now, before the break, i was telling all the people here about the power of twitter. it has humbled morsi, brought down governments across the

middle east but it did not get me. here to apologize, please welcome the founder of twitter, biz stone. (cheers and applause) biz, first of all, i want to thank you for just dropping everything and flying in from san francisco to apologize to me. >> actually, i'm not here to apologize. >> stephen: i accept (laughter) >> but we will get a chance the talk about my new book. >> stephen: we'll get to that. okay. here's the thing -- when you founded twitter, did you do it just to attack me? (laughter) i mean, did you know there would be this kind of hashtag activism? was this part of the dream? >> um, the dream was to create a platform for, you know, global free speech. >> stephen: okay. >> but, you know, actually, when someone first proposed using hashtags, i said, that's the nerdiest thing i've ever heard. no one will ever do that.

>> stephen: mm-hmm. you were wrong. >> i was wrong (laughter) >> stephen: but it has become an incredibly powerful thing. it's taken down dictators across the world, but did not take down me. am i now the most powerful man in the world? (cheers and applause) >> yes. (audience chanting "stephen " ) >> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, the sound of people mindlessly chanting your name, that's the sound of freedom (laughter) here's the thing, i can understand why people might have been upset by that tweet, but i never want this to happen again, and the network very kindly gave me control of @colbertreport. >> i have a kill switch to immediately delete any twitter account. >> stephen: all right, get it out. >> it's right here. >> stephen: all right, here we go. all right, all right, get ready. (laughter) one last tweet, everybody.

okay. if you want to see a tweet from me, follow @stephenathome, bye-bye. hit it! thank you, biz! we'll be back with the co-owner of twitter biz stone! of twitter b[ beep ]! oh, hey jim, this is my sister, lisa.

[ jim ] mmmmm. so, hot. whoo! mmmmm. that is hot! [ male announcer ] made with real cheese and premium cuts of meat. [ ding! ] ♪ hot pockets! to help pay for her kids' ice time, -before earning 1% cash back... -guys! -everywhere, every time... -close the front door! and 2% back at the grocery store, even before she got 3% back on gas with no hoops to jump through, katie used her bankamericard cash rewards credit card to stay warm and toasty during the heat of competition. that's the comfort of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you.

>> stephen: welcome back, everybody! my guest tonight is the co-founder of twitter!

i can't wait to meet him! please welcome biz stone! (cheers and applause) (music) >> stephen: thanks so much! good to see you again! >> wonderful to be here. >> stephen: as the people, i'm sure know, you're the co-inventor and co-founder of twitter which now has over 230 million active users. you have been named one of "time magazine's" most influential people, entrepreneur of the decade by ink magazine, and have a book things a little bird told me -- creations of a creative mind. what did the bird tell you? that's sometimes a sign of schizophrenia. what is a creative mind? >> this is a book i started ten years ago at oxford university. >> stephen: woo whoo!

oxford comfort, smarty pants! go ahead. >> i started giving this lecture and i started getting invited to do it lots of other places, and i found that it resonated with people-- kids in high school all the way to ceos. they would come up afterwards and say, you know, this part of the lecture really gave me a new perspective on this or that. so when someone suggested i write a book, i thought it was a good idea. >> stephen: i will say, not a single chapter in this book is less than 140 characters long. you, sir, are a hypocrite (laughter) you started a new app called jelly. >> yes. >> stephen: that brings people together to do what? >> in the past 15 years, no one has really completely re- imagined the way that we get

answers to our questions. we have been pretty much doing it the same way, and we realized it, and today's media landscape is completely different. it's all mobile and social, it's a different ball game. >> stephen: what does it actually do? how will this new app be used to try to get me fired? (laughter) >> we designed a better way to ask a question. >> stephen: shout it? no, no. in fact, there's more characters, first of all, and you can use pictures, you can use maps, and the questions go out to real people in all of your social networks. first and second review questions. have you heard the strength of weak ties? >> stephen: no. you and your friends all kind of know the same stuff. >> stephen: right. but one of your friends has a lawyer, and he's an acquaintance, and his circle of friends knows a bunch of other stuff. >> stephen: and is he going to charge me by the hour? >> no, the app is free and available now for both ios and android.

so that acquaintance jumps your question into a whole new group of people. so for any question, there's a person out there who has the experience, the knowledge, the answer for you. so you should really download it >> if i didn't want to read your book, could i find someone on jelly to tell me what it's about? >> yes. >> stephen: all right. or use it to find out where to buy it. biz stone, things a little bird told me. thank you, biz. than chocolate,

it's an invitation to stop and savor the unmistakable taste that reminds us that life is delicious. let's see what you got. rv -- covered.

why would you pay for a hotel? i never do. motorcycles -- check. atv. i ride those. do you? no. boat. ahoy, mateys. house? hello, dear. hello. hello. van with airbrushed fire-breathing dragons. ah! check. thank you. the more you bundle, the more you save. the annual company retreat. planned, as usual, by this guy. nature lover... people person. ♪ and you put up with it all...

because he also booked you a room... at this place. planet earth's number one accomodation site: booking.com booking.yeah! >> stephen: that's it for the report everybody! see you tomorrow! good night! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org [ cheers and applause ] okay. hi. oh, boy. thank you so much for coming tonight.