♪ ♪ (eagle caw) >> stephen: tonight, obama makes a huge overreach on climate change. get ready for government-mandated sun bonnets. (laughter) then a new threat to our senior citizens. time continues to move forward. (laughter) my guest tonight is morgan freeman, host of "through the wormhole" on the science channel. i'm still on season one, so no spoilers on how the universe ends. (laughter) this week marks the 25th anniversary of tiananmen square -- or as they call it in china, tank man happy day. (laughter)

this is the "the colbert report"! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> stephen: welcome to "the colbert report thank you for joining us, everybody! thank you so much! (audience chanting stephen) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen! that was a first! that was a first! (cheers and applause) thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen! i've got to say, your enthusiasm tonight, what you just did almost led to a first on the

show! i almost started chanting "stephen, stephen" myself, but then i caught myself (cheering) i only do that when i'm shaving in the morning. (laughter) folks, there's no bigger defender of the second amendment than facey-face right here. (laughter) i've always said, the best defense against a bad guy with a gun is a good guy hoarding guns in a backwoods shack muttering to himself about the coming race war. which is why i support the open-carry movement, where patriots stand up for the second amendment by proudly displaying their guns in public places, like a patriot fest last month where these two buddies posted photos of themselves with their guns at a chipotle. (laughter) they're telling the world they're not ashamed of their gun love. they are out and proud. "we're here, we've got gear, get used to it." (laughter) but i'm so sad to report that

the response to this chipotle chiprotest was for chipotle and a whole slough of other restaurants to oppress gun lovers. >> chipotle is asking customers not to bring guns in its restaurants. >> more restaurants are jumping on the no-guns-allowed bandwagon. sonic and chili's telling customers to leave their guns at home. guns also not welcomed at starbucks, wendy's, jack in the box and applebee's. >> look at that, it's a domino effect. i just hope this ban doesn't spread to dominoes! (laughter) i like to have a gun on hand because, after i eat one, i feel like killing myself. (cheers and applause) nation, these restaurants are forcing patriots to make the hardest choice any patriot can face -- between high-powered weaponry and fried food. both are deadly, but only one of them comes with melted cheese.

and it's already becoming a wedge issue. a wedge of cheese issue. because now our second amendment rights are under attack by the liberal whackos at the national rifle association, who on their web site slandered these good men, saying... it is a rare sight to see someone sidle up next to you in line for lunch with a 7.62 rifle slung across his chest. let's not mince words, not only is it rare, it's downright weird. well, a 7.62 is weird. why would you wear a 7.62 after memorial day? it's summer. you wanna wear something more light and kicky. maybe an uzi with a folding stock. you know, fun. (laughter) something that says "i'm ready for the beach, and if the right guy comes along, a firefight." but by not unconditionally supporting these men, the n.r.a. is stabbing all gun lovers in the back, when it should be shooting us in the front.

that's why the organization behind the chipotle photos open-carry texas is firing back. on their facebook site, they challenged the n.r.a. saying, "if they do not retract their disgusting and disrespectful comments, o.c.t. will have no choice but to withdraw its full support of the n.r.a. and establish relationships with other gun rights organizations that fight for all gun rights." yes, all gun rights. do you know some guns aren't even allowed to vote? (laughter) and o.c.t. has plenty of other pro-gun groups to join like "texas carry," "gun rights across america," and "come and take it texas." (laughter) great group, by the way... don't try to "come and take it." nation, i've long warned you about the dangers of global warming. melting ice caps, rising seas, reusable grocery bags. (laughter) now what's gonna get caught in

trees? and folks, yesterday, we got one step closer to the nightmare scenario of doing something. jim? >> the obama administration announcing strict new standards for carbon emissions. >> proposing new e.p.a. relations to take his strongest action yet against climate change. >> it's very much sort of obamacare for the air. >> stephen: yes, obamacare for the air! get ready for breathe panels. (laughter) the proposed regulations would require states to cut carbon dioxide emissions from coal plants 30% by 2030. the good news is there's going to be a 2030. no surprise, the liberal media love this more even more than they love barbara streisand's gluten-free quinoa winter solstice drum circle cleanse. (laughter) chris hayes? >> today, historically speaking, has a chance to be the most important day in the presidency

of barack obama, and today's huge announcement was why. the most significant effort by any american president ever to curb carbon emissions in this country. >> stephen: yes, it's the "most significant" effort any president has ever taken to combat global warming. second place, of course. second place is a 43-way tie for nothing. (laughter) (applause) purely platonic. (laughter) now, folks, obama claims he's doing this to help the environment, but we all know what this really is. >> obama has made no secret that he hates coal and he wants to destroy that industry. >> if you're going to have to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 30%, that probably means we're going to see a lot of switching from coal to natural gas. >> we could see many as half of existing coal-fired plants retired. >> president obama's war on coal.

>> the war on coal. war on coal... >> stephen: yes, obama's launched a war on coal! it's the most vicious attack on an irreplaceable fuel source since james k. polk's "blitzkrieg on kindling." (laughter) what is obama thinking? cole generates 40% of america's electricity. the rest comes from traditional sources like oil, natural gas and radio shack plasma balls. (laughter) we've caged the lightning! we cannot lose the coal industry. what will we give to naughty kids on christmas? a stocking full of wind? come on... (laughter) so there isn't a single reason to support these new regulations. here to give me multiple reasons to support these new regulations, please welcome yale professor of environmental law and policy, and the former commissioner of the connecticut department of energy and environmental protection, dan esty!

dan, thanks so much for coming back! (cheers and applause) dan! why on earth? you explain to me, mr. environmental studies yale smarty pants, why is obama declaring war on coal and is he going to draw the troops out of afghanistan and send them straight into west virginia? >> stephen, i'm afraid to tell you there's no war. >> stephen: war on coal. no war on coal. >> stephen: it's a modest first step. a funny faction against coal. like kennedy took a modest step in vietnam. >> he's done common sense things to begin transition to an clean energy future. >> stephen: why not clean coal, it has the word clean in it. >> it could be we will have clean coal but we need a broader portfolio and we have a chance to ship toward cheaper and cleaner natural gas.

>> stephen: so you're for fracking, contaminating the bed bedrock with unknown chemicals. >> there is need for regulations -- >> stephen: here we go, regulations. won't regulations and closing the coal plants, won't that cost americans jobs? >> not necessarily. there will be some transition. >> stephen: yeah? there is also a huge potential -- if you look for example what we did in the state of connecticut, where we've begun the transition, ramping up renewable energy, sorely, wind and a variety of -- >> stephen: the sunshines in connecticut? >> the biggest sorely power country in the world is germany, which is less sunny than connecticut. there are places that made this transition begin to happen and you're seeing job growth in deployment of the renewable resources, delivering energy for every house and it's lower cost and greater competitiveness.

>> stephen: but in the mean time, till we get there, there will be jobs lost. >> some transition. >> stephen: transition? transition. >> stephen: how many people will be in the transition bread line? (laughter) >> you know, if there were really a serious effort to make this work across the country, you would probably want to invest in west virginia as a research center for wind power, sorely power and some of the new technologies. >> stephen: obama is letting every state do this in their own way. there's a standard but every state gets to set up their own carbon e exchanges. >> there is strategy, but -- >> stephen: flows state to state? >> flows state to state and global warming. the greenhouse gases black et the earth so there's a need to get a global picture. you start in each country but to get it on the ground, state level makes sense. >> stephen: you people put your faith in global warming.

you tell me when i breathe out i'm breathing out co2. so do i have to breathe 30% less by 2030, or can i do carbon offsets by smothering a poor person with a pillow? (laughter) it's okay! obama wants me to! hold still! obama wants me to! i thin>> i think there will be alternatives to the pillow knot smothering technique. >> stephen: we'll wait and see. dan, thank you so much for joining me (applause) dan esty, yale university! we'll be right back! (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪ ♪fame, makes a man take things over♪ ♪fame, lets him loose, hard to swallow♪

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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody! folks, i don't know about you, folks, but i for one grew up in a time when the genders were clearly defined. one was the breadwinner, pant-wearer and channel-changer-haver. the other was the nurturer, emotion-haver, and was triangle-shaped. (laughter) but now men are becoming women, women are becoming men, and my inbox is becoming full of your angry letters every time i talk about it. i know. i know. i'm cis-hetero nazie scum. i accept your judgment. but now the trans-genders are trans-forming a new segment of america. >> medicare patients may now apply to have sex change operations funded by you, the taxpayer.

an appeals board for the department of health and human services says there is no justification for a three-decade-old rule excluding the procedure. >> medicare covers 49 million senior citizens. it's not clear how many might be affected by the ruling. (laughter) >> stephen: no, no. could be all 49 million. now it's gonna be the lgbt aarp. (applause) the department of health and human services ruled that the surgery is safe and effective and can no longer be considered experimental. but i say this ruling is just a slippery slope to all of us paying for grandma's human centipede surgery, which is just a scam to score a group discount to lion king. but even more disturbing than the idea of nana and pee-pop playing mr. potatohead "downtown"... is that it violates the tacit

agreement we've reached with the transgender community. i agree to be totally cool with it. which i clearly am. which "time magazine" clearly is and which all the people lobbying for this transgendered woman to be a victoria's secret model clearly are... as long as you're hot. but now you want me to accept "unattractive" transgendered people?! where does it end? will i have to accept unattractive "non"transgendered people? what am i, "made" of humanity?i! besides, medicare paying for this is just another example of government waste. because let's face it, after a certain age, who can really tell men and women apart? (laughter) they have equal amounts of ear hair, the same papery skin, even the same cologne. (laughter) so instead of taxpayers springing for some expensive surgery to turn a man into a

woman, just give him a floral-print muumuu. watch, jimmy, put up an old man. now the muumuu. (laughter) ta-daa! (applause) you're welcome! we'll be right back. yo, untamed larger than life, move fast fruit flavor, watermelon, blue razz green apple. your taste buds dancing. it's the jolly rancher, we make it happen. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. and dinner at the table is approaching i think something like 12 minutes. which shatters the previous family record of 4 minutes of them sitting still. thanks to 12 extra crispy tenders,

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>> welcome back, everybody! my guest tonight is an award winning actor! (cheers and applause) please welcome morgan freeman! (cheers and applause) mr. freeman, thank you so much for joining me again! good seeing you! nice to have you! >> thank you! >> stephen: listen to the people love their morgan freeman. >> yes, i also like the way they love their stephen colbert! >> stephen: i agree, i agree! tephen, i have to get this off my chest before it's too late. i find your idiocy brilliant, and i'm very happy you let me come back on your show before you're fired. (laughter) (applause) >> stephen: let me know when that is, please.

okay? because when i am fired, i want to do some crazy (bleep) the night before! >> as soon as i know, you will know. >> stephen: all right. all right. >> stephen: thank you very much. now, obviously, the people love you. they know you're the award-winning actor and producer. some films include shaw shank, million-dollar baby, dark trilogy, also the second-highest grossing actor of all time just behind tom hanks. what the (bleep)? (applause) what a jerk that guy is! what a jerk tom hanks is for beating you on that one! >> that's all right, i can talk to him. >> stephen: really? you talk to him about that. all right? tell him i'm mad. >> all right. >> stephen: you're also the host of the emmy nominated show "through the wormhole" on the science channel, new episodes of season 5 start tomorrow. okay. why would you host a science show? you're the voice of god! why would you -- (applause)

(cheering) >> um... it's interesting that you invoke the almighty. (laughter) because if you remember your history, he can do anything he wants. >> stephen: that's true. with god all things are possible. >> all things. >> stephen: yes. o it's okay for me to host a science show. actually -- >> stephen: are you saying god is so powerful he can create a show so good even he will watch himself disprove his own existence? >> see what i mean about your brilliance? exactly. >> stephen: have you always been interested in science? >> no, no, i -- how many actors do you know have the brain power to deal with science? >> stephen: that's true, actors are dumb. very shallow, you cannot get

your ankles wet in actors. >> i think scientists are all left-brained primarily, actors are all right-brained? >> stephen: i'm all heart, i'm all gut, okay? right from here, okay? secondary organs. (laughter) >> we love you. >> stephen: thank you very much, love you, too. a good friend of the show has a science show called cosmos, going to be up against you guys in a fight. >> we have each other's backs. (laughter) >> stephen: all right, fair enough. now, we have a little clip of the show. let's take a look at what we're talking about. >> shameful behavior is in the eye of the beholder. most of the super rich would argue they're not breaking any social rules. in fact, their investments create jobs and make the entire economy thrive and grow.

but there will always be people at any income level who are willing to cheat to make a profit. when those people are called out by name in front of a crowd, shame can be effective. >> okay, is that an attack on rich people i? (laughter) because, if i'm not mistaken, you are a rich man. >> no, it is not an attack on rich people. >> stephen: okay. but it is -- let's call it an examination of the possibility of leveling the field a little bit more. >> stephen: the episode is every show starts with a question. this one is poverty genetic? who would ask that question? i mean, you would ask that question. >> i would ask it, yeah. >> stephen: is it genetic? no, can't possibly be. >> stephen: that's a very short show. >> it's a very short show.

there are a lot of people who are examining the idea of genetics involved with wealth. >> stephen: as a star of stage and screen -- >> and radio. >> stephen: -- and radio, is there a field you haven't conquered yet that you'd like to? >> no... >> stephen: no? no... i think i'm pretty complete by now. >> stephen: you're complete? yeah (laughter) i'm almost at the apex of life. >> stephen: how does that feel? >> awesome! >> stephen: i can't wait to get there! (applause) morgan freeman, "through the wormhole" on the science channel! we'll be right back! (cheers and applause)

what art thou drinking isaac? giveth me a redd's apple ale! gravity! what's that? i have no idea. redd's apple ale. crisp like an apple. brewed like an ale. honestly, the off-season isn't i've got a lot to do. that's why i got my surface. it's great for watching game film and drawing up plays.

it's got onenote, so i can stay on top of my to-do list, which has been absolutely absurd since the big game. with skype, it's just really easy to stay in touch with the kids i work with. alright, russell you are good to go! alright, fellas. alright, russ. back to work! break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. helping you fall asleep and stay asleep

so your body can heal as you rest. advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. >> stephen: that the it for the report, everybody! g sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> it's 11:59 and 59 seconds. this on ridit today. an amazing video of a bachelor party gone horribly wrong in sweden-- or as i like to call it, scandinavian tampa. that thing that we all do at our bachelor party. take this live chicken. now run through the fire! run through the fire! get into the lake! get in