new. this is the "colbert captioning sponsored by comedy central report." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> audience: stephen! stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome, good to have you with us. in here, out there, all around the world. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: you know i need your energy. you know i need it thank you, so much for everything you do tonight and every night you heroes. you it getters. show, this show is number 1438.

sadly i have yet to achieve all of my goals. for instance congress is still broken. unfortunately the warn tee expired in 1850. they should of sprung for the extended care. so much partisan rancor in washington. they say it all different and republicans say, leave john boehner alone. which is why nothing gets done in congress until now. >> a new federal bill closed in the house, a loophole nazis can receive social security. >> the house unanimously passed a bill dubbed the no social security for nazis act. >> stephen: yes. [ applause ] >> stephen: yes the no social

security for nazis act. the most popular bill to come out of congress since the no prek for the k2 global partners k. it's inspiring to see parties joining hands and declare one voice. get oust here nazis we're not giving you free money anymore, because apparently we have been cutting you checks for decades. also thanks for the entire space program. your rockets really landed on. the moon was london. there are details about our retirement program we don't know. such as the total number of nazis receiving social security benefits and the dollar amounts of the payment. our records weren't organized like the nazis were.

i love this bill. no subject could bring republicans and democrats kogter. not crisis, war, famine. nazis, i have come down hard on you in the past. but you got congress to agree on something. we have only ten more shows left. i wouldn't want to give my enemies anything to take oust context and use against me but thank you nazis. [ applause ] okay. now you're on your honor not to use that people who seek to destroy me. folks, the say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach especially after he has eaten a heart. this is "thought for food." [cheers and applause] >> stephen: oh, burger, burger, burger. i think i will miss you most of all burger sandwich. folks, long time viewers of this

sentence know i have been very serious about what i eat. if it doesn't make me feel healthy it doesn't pass these pouty kissable lips. that's why i'm so excited about a new beverage scientifically and specifically engineered to make me feel like i'm being healthy. it's called milk. not just any milk. extra expensive science milk. jim. >> within three minutes of coming out of our cows fairlife milk is chilled at 37° fahrenheit keeping it nice and fresh. milk have five components. each of which has a slightly different molecular size. after running the cold milk through the filters we recombine the components to create what highly nutritious recipes we want. we can add twice the protein, take out the lactose. you name it.

fairlife. >> stephen: fairlife for people who want life just short of good. [ applause ] >> stephen: folks, recombined milk. folks these e-moo-geners have broken down milk into parts and put it back together the way they want. it's like they got frankenstein to lactate. as a result fairlife has 50% more protein and calcium than regular milk. to get that nutrition before i would have to drink a little more milk. you can trust this beefed up milk is good for you. it's made by the nature loving health nuts at coca-cola. and -- [cheers and applause] >> stephen: and if this product doesn't work out they can introduce milk classic. next up on the thought for

foods. not everyone is devote today healthy and active lifestyle. need proof? pizza hut. they're my favorite primitive dwelling based provider. sorry stromboli eaters. now the hut has a new innovation blowing the stuff crust of your mind. >> can't decide what to get on your mind? let pizza hut read your mind. >> pizza hut a mind reading menu. yes it's said to read your eye movement to figure out the tings you want in 2.5 seconds. it's being tested in the uk. >> stephen: pizza hut has invented a mind reading menu. bet you never thought of that. if you did, maybe that's where they got the idea from. and the uk is the perfect place to roll it out they have a long history of testing what people

accept as food. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: here is how, here is how you order the es pizza. >> welcome to pizza. my name is toby. do you know what you would like to order? don't worry. let me introduce to you our brand new subconscious menu. it's controlled with your eyes and mind. the menu has recognized your eye movement. this is the cool part. by the time you think you have chosen your subconscious has done it for you. this amazing gadget can tell what your eyes have gauged at the longest and in a few tiny seconds your pizza is revealed. >> stephen: pepperoni. this new eye tracking technology is incredible. they must of done it after noticing their customer's eyes s

darting for something edible. once the system reads your mind it relays the orders to a precog chef at pizza hut. >> mushrooms. stephen: now i'm sure -- [cheers and applause] >> stephen: now i'm sure there are still some kinks to be worked out. for example, how can they tell you're staring at something because you want it and not because you wonder who puts corn and ketchup on a pizza. i have to tell you, nation, i love this. pizza has eliminated the biggest barrier to orderrering at their restaurant, informed consent. no, no, no says the new menu. don't say a word. i can see, i can see the shrimp and pineapple in your eyes. they call this new technology the world's first subconscious menu. it generates a order

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[cheers and applause] >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. thanks so much. folks, you know, as i said before, as i said in the a block we only have ten shows left. with only ten shows. i know, i know. i believe it's finally time i tackle a subject i have been avoiding for over nine years. i'm now ready to take a stand. abortion is america's most divisive issue. tonight i will settle it by declaring life begins -- >> stephen colbert. tephen: amy. amy, what are you doing here! good to see you. >> thank you. stephen: hi. >> hi. stephen: wow, so great. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: amy you found

fantastic. >> thanks incense. stephen: you smell like i hugged a priest. what are you doing here. >> i'm a guest on your show this evening. remember. >> stephen: i'm sorry my guest is christopher nolan. >> i know you bumped me. stephen: amy, i didn't bump you. >> your people bumped me. stephen: my people don't do anything i don't tell them to. did. >> did you tell them to bump me? stephen: yes. >> stephen, we're old friends. tephen: that's why i bumped you. who can you bump. >> now i'm sad. stephen: don't be sad. i asked you not to be. let's talk now. >> i'm in a bad mood. staeufplt amy, please. we want to hear amy, don't we. serious, the people have spoken. i really, i really hear it. i want to talk about your thing. >> my thing.

stephen: yes. >> you mean the show i busted my butt on. >> stephen: yes, what's is dolled. >> i don't remember. stephen: the heart show holler. >> yes. stephen: on adult swim. it sounds great. what is it about? >> i'm not playing this game. >> a game. we're promoting your show. >> save it for your next guest. tephen: what do you want to talk about? >> the new movie "interstellar." stephen: it's great. >> it's mind blowing. brought a clip. >> stephen: do we need to set it up. >> yes. it's a great movie. in this scene matthew mcconaughy is experiencing a spiritual and emotional crisis about to encounter the black hole. jim. ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ >> isn't that great. stephen: wow, thank you for bringing that. >> you're welcome. stephen: wow. his best work since the lincoln ad. >> i guess you don't need christopher nolan now. >> stephen: i do. you should go. i would love to steve -- >> i would love to i have to go. maybe i can come back another time. >> stephen: in january. >> you got canceled and you don't have a show in january. >> stephen: you will have the whole studio to yourself. [laughing] >> stephen: amy, everybody! >> stephen: amy, everybody! [cheers and applause] discover brookside, and discover an exciting combination of tastes. rich, dark chocolate covering soft centers. flavored with exotic fruit juices.

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this is so ridiculous. we're going to manage your entire repair process from paperwork to pickup, okay, little tiny baby? your car is ready, and your repairs are guaranteed for as long as you own it. the progressive service center -- a real place, where we really manage your claim from start to finish. really. ♪ easy as easy can be bye! >> stephen: welcome back. any guest is director of "interstellar" "memento" and "batman" movies. please welcome christopher nolan. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: mr. nolan, thank you for coming on. i'm glad to have you on. i'm a big fan. >> thank you. stephen: i do have a beef with you. >> huh-uh. stephen: huh-uh. i can't tell whether you're smart or whether you're just english. [laughing] >> stephen: americans can't hear

the difference between the two of those. are you a smart guy? >> i'm a -- i'm certainly english. i wouldn't claim to anymore smarts than anyone else. >> stephen: well your movies are smart movies. okay. i don't always get them. i don't get them, i love them. that's another problem i have with you. your movies are massively entertaining. momento, interstellar, batmans. okay. it's a -- it's a space epic you know, interstellar. when the movie is over i'm still thinking about the movie. like, guardians of the galaxy didn't make me do that. why do you want to make me think? why, why, why, why can't you just have it [beep] blow up? >> well, i think you can have a film that makes people think and blow [beep] up.

>> stephen: you blow up [beep] really good. >> don't do me down on blowing up the [beep]. i have blown up a lot of [beep] in a lost movies. i enjoy it very much. i love movies that are very entertaining. you want a ride. "interstellar" is a experience. >> stephen: blew my mind. >> if there is more too it than that and it rattles around. maybe you will come back again and find more in it. >> stephen: there is a guy in my bookshelf banging away. i won't spoil it i won't say who the doctor is on the planet they go too. it's martin lawrence. [laughing] >> stephen: dressed as big mama fantastic. incredible performance. okay. so, let's talk about this "interstellar thing" this is a trojan horse i believe for science.

the whole thing for the people who haven't seen it tell them what happens. for those who have seen it and don't understand. it's about people traveling out in space and find a new home, right. >> it is. about a potential moment in human development. maybe the next step in human evolution. >> stephen: earth is in bad shape in the movie. >> yes they have to find another planet to sustain human life. >> stephen: that's my first question here. the most hopeful thing at the beginning of the movie is that we might be able to abandon our planet. [laughing] >> stephen: that's the good news. we may scrape the dirt of this thing off of our boots and go somewhere else. have you given up on the earth. >> i have not given up on the earth. >> stephen: your heroes do. >> my heroes do? it's not the question of giving up on the earth as much as having faith in humanity.

the film is maybe humanity is capable of existing independently of the earth. may have another play in the universe. it's a vast place. >> stephen: it's big too. really big. >> it's very big. stephen: yes. >> maybe there are other places for us to live. >> stephen: global warming or climate change. >> agricultural blythe. stephen: agricultural blythe. >> yes crops are dying. corn is all that's left. >> stephen: what else is there? i just need my corn chips and high fructose corn syrup. >> that's what they're living on and making a life and adapting as humans do. that's coming to an end. you know we base the end of the world sen arrow on things that have happened. people are giving testimonials at the beginning of the show. there are real people. we drew it from ken burns

documentary on the dust bowl. that's a science fiction film but i wanted the feeling of dread to be real and credible. >> stephen: what else can we say without giving anything away. there are extraordinary things in the movie. the movie, i haven't seen a movie like this before. let's take a clip here. the part of the blow up part. [laughing] >> cooper there is no point -- >> analyze the endurance. >> what are you doing? >> docking. stephen: wow. how hard was it to keep matthew

mcconaughy -- [ applause ] >> stephen: -- exciting moment was it hard to get him to keep his shirt on? >> not in space. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: i'm sorry. >> right there. stephen: thank you, amy. thank you, very much. [cheers and applause] >> last question. i don't want to give anything away in the movie. are we happening now or is this watching ourselves in the past? do you believe that. do you believe all time is happening at once? >> i believe you are capable of living in a five-dimensional world and you're a fixth dimensional creature viewing time as a dimension it would

have to be rewritten. >> stephen: you did not answer my question. tell you what, come again in january and we will talk about it. christopher nolan, thank you so much. christopher nolan "interstellar" in theaters now. we will be right back. we will be right back. [cheers and applause] that it's given me time toabout reflect on some of life'seen biggest questions. like, if you could save hundreds on car insurance by making one simple call, why wouldn't you make that call? see, the only thing i can think of is that you can't get any... bars. ah, that's better. it's a beautiful view. i wonder if i can see mt. rushmore from here. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.

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>> stephen: good night, everybody. good night. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central

captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ i'm going down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪