mccain thing right now. mac is back, okay? he's taking it. he's ready. he's ready to go. no stopping his machine. here's the reason why. he have departmently because huckabee is still in the race, huckabee is taking votes away from mitt romney. or as some pundits are putting it, jim? >> the vote for mike huckabee is a vote for john mccain. >> a vote for huckabee is a vote for mccain. a vote for mike huckabee is a vote more john mccain. >> stephen: a vote for huckabee is a vote for mccain. but we all know that i'm huckabee's running mate. therefore,... ( cheers and applause ) a vote for huckabee is a vote for me. ( cheers and applause ) and if a vote for huckabee is a vote for me and a vote for huckabee is a vote for mccain, by the transtiff property of huckabee, i am john mccain. ( cheers and applause )

i am the leader. republican party. i am the frontrunner. i'm in it, baby. i'm in it to win it. not only that, evidently i'm a war hero. i've got to tell you, it feels pretty good. i thought it would be harder than this. but evidently you don't have to pay dues. i will tell you personally what i think is the best part of me and john mccain both being john mccain is have you seen our wife? . come on. jimmy? be with you in just one minute. now, of course ultimately all of this is owed to the fact that because i gave him the colbert bump, i made mike huckabee.

and at this point.... >> hey, what are you... ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) how do you do that? >> stephen: to what do i owe this surprise? >> i'm next door taping my show and i hear you say, you know, once again you created mike huckabee. i don't mean to keep bringing this up. but i cannot let that rest. i obviously... we talked about this. you created huckabee. conan said he created you. i created conan. therefore, i created huckabee. by the transtiff property of which you described earlier, i am mccain. therefore, i should say to

cindy mccain... ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: unbelievable. >> jon: may i ask.... >> stephen: no, you may not. >> jon: is he standing on an apple box? or am i truly.... >> stephen: you're very small. very small. yes, conan. i have told you once. i have told you twice. i have made this clear on my show. a network show. i have made it quite clear that this was not to be discussed again. that you are not to mention this anymore. >> or?

>> stephen: or i would personally... i would personally kick your cable (all talking at the same time). >> i have not forgotten, sir, and i cannot wait to get into a fight with you, sir. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i cannot wait to get to this, guys, but just remember.... >> conan! >> stephen: i'd love to. wait, wait. >> go back to that shot. ( cheers and applause )

>> stephen: that's the magic of television, jon. >> can i have a screen grab of that. >> stephen: we'llt you one. guys, i would love to get out there and really let some blood. but i have to finish my show first. >> we'll wait outside and kick everybody's.... >> stephen: you just wait outside. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i have to tell you, folks, thank you for defending me. thank you. thank you. i am actually a little frightened. that guy is big. we'll be right back.

>> should we start fighting or i guess wait. >> i'd rather wait. it's rude. >> he comes in on a fight, you and i are already fighting, it seems rude. >> he's going to be upset. he'll have to explain what he meant. [ high-pitched ] nailed it! [ normal voice ] you're right, that was really easy. i know, i told you so. on progressive.com, you can compare our progressive direct rates

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can i get my experian credit report...eport card" thing. like, the one the bank sees. sheesh, i feel like i'm being interrogated over here. she's onto us. dump her. (phone ringing) ...hello? oh, man. that never gets old. no it does not. not all credit report sites are equal. experian.com members get personalized help and an experian credit report. join now at experian.com with enrollment in experian credit tracker sm. >> stephen: folks, welcome back. as i was saying earlier, super tuesday 4 is tomorrow.

and this year as in all election years conservative christians are playing a huge role. you either as a candidate have to apiece them or get out of their way. now on the republican side, mitt romney seems to be a favorite of conservative christians this time around because as a mormon he is christian-ish. john mccain has a little bit of a tougher time because he called jerry falwell and pat robertson agents of intolerance eight years ago. if there's one thing we know about christians, they do not forgive. not in their nature. now, for the democrats on the left, the democrats have a much harder row to hoe. barack obama will convince very few conservative christians because i believe a radical muslim. am i right about that? check my email. they're telling me i'm right. of course, hillary clinton ale alienated a lot of

evangelicals when she was briefly the keyboard player for slip notch. she's good. she was with that guy with the chop sticks in his face. here to agree with everything that i have said or thought about conservative christians, please welcome the author of "red-letter christians: tony camolo." your book red-letter christians a citizens guide to faith and politics. i haven't had a chance to read it. i will when the show is over. but i assume in here you agree with what i have to say. >> no, no, no. >> stephen: all christians think the same thing. >> there's about 30% of us in the evangelical community. >> stephen: are you an evangelical? >> i am. >> stephen: so you're a republican. >> i am a democrat. >> stephen: no, no, no. check your i.d. card. as an evangelical

christian.... >> there are a whole mob of us who say we're not pro war. we are not anti-environmental. >> stephen: you're not pro war based on what? show me one thing in the bible that says jesus wouldn't be pro war. he said, "i come not with peace but with a sword, sir." >> and he said love your enemies. when he said that, he probably meant you shouldn't kill them. if you love your enemies you don't kill them. incidentally if you love your enemies you won't be doing to those two guys that are waiting in the hall what i think you're going to be doing if you love your enemies. >> stephen: they love it. it's all in good fun. it's for charity, as i said. okay. you have to be an aberration though, right? because the christian right is this monolith that cannot be crossed. >> there's a whole gang of us emerging called red-lettered christians. >> stephen: what's that? >> the people who believe this the red-letters of the bible,

the words of jesus. we are totally committed to it which means we're in to compassion for the poor, first and foremost. compassion to the poor ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: jesus said you will have the poor always. >> that's right. >> stephen: doesn't that mean give up on the poor? >> and on judgment day he will judge you, mister, in terms of how you related to the poor. >> stephen: i'm ready. see me shake. you see me shake? it's going to take more than the judgment day to worry me, mister. my conscious is clear. i sleep the sleep of the just. >> guilty people are always like that. and the truth is you don't have to worry about judgment day. you have to worry about what will happen to you after judgment day. >> stephen: what about this? what about the gay agenda. the left is all about the gay agenda. the gays are out to destroy marriage and you're a democrat. therefore, you think the same thing. >> the truth is marriage is in trouble in this country. >> stephen: because gays are threatening us. >> it's because the heterosexuals are getting divorces. the gays want to get mafer

married. >> stephen: so they can get divorced too. they are jealous of our divorces. >> all they want is the same privileges, good or bad, that the rest of us enjoy. don't get me wrong. i am not affirming a particular lifestyle. i am, in fact, standing up for all the rights andprivileges that all americans should enjoy. >> stephen: however wrong they may be. do you believe in the bible, sir? >> yes. >> stephen: do you believe in leviticus where it says that gay people should be stoned? >> yes. >> stephen: then send me a stone and a gay person. >> when you said the gay should be stoned, i saw you go, whoa. it's not that kind of stone. >> stephen: is it to get high? >> you've got it. >> stephen: marijuana is a drug. first this and then gay. >> the thing is that jesus upped the ante. he said this is what it said in the hebrew bible.

love your enemies, do good to them. love and justice for those who have been oppressed. you have to admit that gay people have been oppressed in our society. >> stephen: i've done it myself. proudly so. >> we want justice for our gay brothers and lesbian sisters because we think that god loves them intensely. he wants good for them. >> stephen: that's a tall order, sir. thank you for coming by. tony campolo, the book is red- letter christians, a citizens guide to state and politics. we'll be right back. thank you, sir. >> how soon before the fight should i take my asthma medicine for it to really take effect. >> 20 minutes probably. >> until it dissolves. >> yeah. if you took it now or... you'd be fine.

( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. my guest tonight says that president bush's actions have been motivated by unresolved feelings for his father. so now we all know the iraq war, just closure. please welcome jacob wiseberg. ( cheers and applause ) you didn't have to get up. that's awfully nice. awfully nice. >> the least i can do for you. >> stephen: you could do more.

your book is called quite even handedly, i'm sure, "the bush tragedy." it's a bit of a leading title. what is the essential premise of the bush tragedy? >> that bush for the first part of his life tried to do everything his father did: play baseball, be a great businessman, be a fighter pilot. he wasn't that good at any of it. then he had this revelation and he said i can be the opposite of my father. then he took that principle a little too far. >> stephen: he became the opposite of his father by becoming a politician and then president. he really got as far away from his father as he possibly could. >> he accepted this conservative critique of his father, that his father was a failed president because he raised taxes and left saddam in power. >> stephen: that is true. he should have gone all the way to baghdad taken saddam out and then we wouldn't have the situation right now. we would have the situation we have right now but eight years

older. >> he would have left no opportunity for his son to complete his unfinished business. >> stephen: you call it the bush tragedy. what makes it so particularly tragic? you're reading a lot into family dynamics here. what are you basing this on? because they're a famously private group. they don't like to put himself themselvess on the coach. bush hasn't talked about this stuff. popy hasn't talked about this stuff. people get things wrong about me and my motivations. how do you know this about this man? >> they give us a lot of clues. the way that george w and jeb have reacted. jeb was to lead the family in the generation. when he got ahead of the first born son was when george got motivated to get into politics and catch up with jeb. >> stephen: that's a neat little theory. let me punch a couple holes in it. you have compared george w. bush to prince howell in henry iv the shakespeare play.

>> indeed. >> stephen: is that the basis of calling this a tragedy. >> yes, in the shakespearean sense. >> stephen: you do realize that's not a tragedy. that's a shakespearean history. he's the hero of that. there's nothing tragic about it. he becomes henry v, wins the battle of agincourt and everybody thinks he's great. isn't the war in france that henry leads iraq and eventually we all say great job. >> i know you remember your shakespeare. that was the beginning of the 100 years war which was how long john mccain says we may be staying in iraq. in fact it didn't work out so well for britain. bankrupted the country. the finest young men were killed. in henry v, henry can be a heroic figure. >> stephen: absolutely at the end of it, remember what he says. we few, we happy few, we band of brothers. and that's what... that's me, that's george bush, sean hannity. i think that's all that is left at this point standing by the president. we shed our blood with him. >> i compare george bush's speech on the rubble pile at

ground zero so that famous speech from henry v. but you can look at henry v either way. kenneth brannock played him as a hero. some people play it as a tragedy as if prince howell of the earlier play never really changes and he's driven to do all this because of his father but of course it does terrible damage to his country. >> stephen: you say that there could be still a happy ending here for this tragedy which is rare for tragedies. >> i do? >> stephen: well, you say that there's the possibility that people could be wrong and something good could come of iraq. >> i think the damage can be mitigated. i don't think the decision can be vindicated. >> stephen: if if it's a success. >> how can it be a success? it would be a success if it got less bad. but i don't think you can ever make the argument that it was a good decision to go in. >> stephen: i can. i can make that argument. >> would we have gone in.... >> stephen: we still have the domino theory to play out. once iraq becomes a thiving democracy, all the other despot i can states in the middle east will topple.

has it happened yet? has it happened yet, sir? >> not just yet, no. >> stephen: so it could still happen. >> whose side are you on? >> stephen: my side. >> when that happens, nobody will be happier than i will be. >> stephen: well, the book is "the bush tragedy." thank you so much. >> thank you. >> stephen: we'll be right back. >> how would you, if you were me, neutralize your reach advantage because think i'm going to get hurt. >> i'm tall but i'm skinny and i have weak legs. i think get the leg and i go over like a tower. you know. >> i appreciate that. thank you. for me, honestly, anything in the face and i will cry like a.... >> no, no, no, you're a good- looking guy. i will not attack your

>> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. well, folks, that is it for the show. and i feel like there's something i'm forgetting. oh, that's right. kicking conan o'brien's ass. let's do it. come on. wooo! it is show time. come on. get it on. wooo! let's go. you're going down.

oh, there will be blood. it is go-time. >> yes, he actually had to run and go do his show. >> stephen: half hour. >> we can go over there and just go right to his set and just boom, you know. >> stephen: do it. >> come on. >> do you have a bobby pin? really. that's where you go for the bobby pin, the shoe? why would you have that in your shoe? >> stephen: no one would suspect that. >> jon: you're absolutely right. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

captioning sponsored by comedy central >> stephen: tonight, i profile an anti-gun lobbyist. he'll end this interview not with a bang but a wimper.

and my guest jennifer hooper mccarty has written a book about what really sank the titanic. the mart smart money is on key cap bree owe's schvantz. you put your left foot in, you take your left foot out. you put your left foot in and you shake it all about. who knew restless leg syndrome was so much fun. this is the colbert report. ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. thank you. thank this section, that section. you people up there. right there. ( cheers and applause ) come on. come on.

( cheers and applause ) thank you. oh, please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. please. ( cheers and applause ) i declare with great certainty and confidence, ladies and gentlemen, that the state of the colbert nation is strong. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the report, everybody. good to have you with us. big democratic primary in west virginia tonight. hillary, of course, has long been predicted to win by 20 to 30 points. this is great news. no, clinton will not catch obama in the popular vote. and yes, obama now also leads in super delegates. but the contest will continue. and nation, that this is what the american people want. i know that because i read it today in today's "the usa today." which ran this headline: dems say let the contest continue

just above this much smaller headline "but more same clinton should quit, polls show." ( cheers and applause ) thank you. well done, "the usa today." thank you for reminding us that this historic primary has not become a manufactured battle reported long past its relevance in a bald-faced effort to sell papers. it is what the people want. just not most of them. nation.... ( applause ) nation, i was on the internets last night conducting my weekly search for sex tapes of myself. i'm pretty sure i haven't made any, but i do take a lot of ambien, so you never know. now, i did not... keep me posted. now, i didn't find any footage of me, but i did find something that made my blood .