trainer leans down this far from my face and goes, "the dog's name is tako, ass[bleep]. come on, buddy." do you feel the power? yes! yes! mm, mm, mm. yes. oh, that's why i'm leading the congregation, 'cause i screw up so bad, i piss off other species. thank you so much! [cheers and applause] you guys are great! thank you, fresno! >> october 1, 2015, from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, ryan adams is

here. ryan adams is here playing from the album "1989". that's right. wow. but first, by now as you may have heard, a few hours ago, there was a tragic event that took place in oregon, and you know, normally in one of these situations i'll just speak from the heart. but, honestly, this isn't a normal situation for me. i haven't had the time to feel, let alone think about everything that's happening. and i'm sure it's true for many people out there. so right now, we can only express our grief for the people who are lost, and i guess i can do what i do best, and that is try and make people laugh. so let's do our show. in the time that i've been here, i've been following the presidential race and i've noticed a few pieces of conventional wisdom have formed around the canvas, none more

than with drusm. >> six in 10 americans believe trump is unqualified to serve as polaroid. >> he's not qualified to be president. >> unfit to be president. >> unfit to be commande commandn chief. >> the "des moines register" writing trump is, "not only unfit to hold office but unfit to stand on the same page as his republican opponents." >> he's unfit for that stage? no, that stage is unfit for trump. there's no goals. where are the women in bikinis. and how would he even get there? there's no escalator. come on, people. so the complaints about trump is that he's unpresidential and it stems from certain statements that he's made. >> when mexico sends its people, they're bringing drugs. they're bringing crime, their rapists, and some, i assume, are good people. >> trevor: and you know what they say-- when you assume you're the best at assuming. trump. ( laughter ) i know these comment about

immigrants were upsetting to some people, but for me as an africans, there's just something familiar about trump that makes me feel at home. >> the influx of illegal migrants, crime, unfair business practices, drugs. >> it is also not true that all foreign nationals are involved in criminal activities. there are some who are, but not all of them. >> trevor: i love how we all wait, he's not so-- ahh. that is south african president jacob zuma sounding a lot like drusm. you see, that sir, like xenophobia witha i dash of diplomacy, which is also the title of paula deen's new book. ( applause ) so i don't see what's unpresidential about drusm. i mean, here's another thing he unnecessarily took heat for. >> autism has become an

epidemic. went to have the vaccine, and came back and a week later got a tremendous fever, got very, very sick, now is autistic. >> trevor: now, was that factual? no. ( laughter ) but was it presidential? depends where you come from. >> gambian president yahya jammeh says he can cure aids with bananas. heap said mine is not an argument. mine say proof. it's a declaration. i can cure aids and i will. >> trevor: that is right right. the president of gambia says he can cure aids with bananas, and i can also cure cancer, using aids! if only i hadn't cured all that aids. aahhh! crazy things. better safe than sorry. what i'm trying to say is drusm is presidential. he just happens to be running on the wrong continent. in fact, once you realize that trump is basically the perfect

african president, you start to notice the similarities everywhere. like the level of self-regard. >> i say not in a braggadocious way, i've made billions and billions of dollars. >> i made a tremendous ability of money. >> i'm really rich. i have a great temperament. they love me anyway. i don't have to do this. i've done an amazing job. god helped me by giving me a certain brain. >> trevor: i bet that's the one time god is like, "i tonight need the praise. i'm cool." is that extra oord level of bragging presidential? let's ask idi amin, former president and best president of uganda. >> people love me very much. i am very popular. i am very powerful. i have got a very good friend.

>> trevor: i have a very good brain and i know this because every time i ask people if i have a good brain, they say, ," of course, mr. president. now please let me family go. i think you proved your point." just to make sure everyone knew how successful he was idi amin wanted to be referred to as his press against for life, dr. idi amin dada, mc, laddible beasts of the earth, and fishz of the seas and conqueror of the british empire in africa as general and uganda, in particular. idi amin didn't own any casinos. in fact, trump is so african presidential, he's already at the level of zimbabwe's president, robert mugabe, whose brutality and oppressive tactics have kept him in power for 35 years. >> my people have great praise for me.

>> people love me, everybody loves me. >> the little man. >> he's very low energy. >> it's not european. it's our land. and we have taken it. >> we'll take our country back. >> we will have so much winning, if i get elected, that you may get bored with winning. ( applause ) >> trevor: i feel like i'm winning right now! it's really great to know if anything ever happens to trump we have a backup copy in africa. i like that. actually, now they think about it, trump reminds me of one african leader in particular. weird hair? check. lavish lifestyle? check. fringe, discredited views about president obama's origins? >> ( translated ): and along came a black citizen of kenyan african origin, a muslim. his name is obama. >> trevor: check. oh, and there's one more thing.

>> gaddafi put up a tent in the town of bedford about 40 miles outside of new york city, the property in westchester county, where they're setting up that tent is owned by none other than drusm. >> trevpr: that's. when muammar gadhafi came to ferk. he could have stayed anywhere but only place he felt truly at home was in drusm's yard. now just, by the way, our lawyers told us we have to mention that trump told gadhafi to take the tent now spp you see, you to be careful what you say about drusm in public. not unlike an african president. i understand that trump is a little scary. and a little exotic for some. a little out of america's comfort zone. but this great country is capable of bold leaps. it took one in 2008 when it elected its first black president and now in 2016 i say it is time to be bold once more and elect america's first

african president. and when that happens, when a true african finally enters the oval office the people of africa will erupt into songing of praise. mexican rapists. ( laughter ) ( applause ) we don't have a word for mexican rapists. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. ( cheers and a we have three chevy's here. alright. i want you to place this award on the podium next to the vehicle that you think was ranked highest in initial quality by j.d. power. hmm. can i look around at them? sure. highest ranking in initial quality. it's gotta be this one. this is it. you are wrong. really? actually it's all three. you tricked me. j.d. power ranked the chevy malibu, silverado half-ton and equinox highest in initial quality in their segments. that's impressive! i'm very surprised! i am. i'm very surprised. chevy hit three home runs.

what beer may i fetch you, my lord? umm... i'll have a redd's apple ale. and perhaps a wrench. no. a wrench, a wrench. redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple.

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( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back. as you may remember, this week and obama met at the u.n. to discuss bho accounts and the world strategy for dealing with yi. >> vladimir putin ordered these air strikes in syria. >> moscow claims it's targeting yi strongs holds but that is not where those bombs seem to be falling. >> charges that russian warplanes are not hitting isis there, but fighters trained and armed by the c.i.a. >> trevor: just after the bombing putin ran into the room wearing glasses and suspenders saying, "dido that?" that would be the best show ever. we have senior geopolitical correspondent jordan klepper.

( cheers and applause ). >> so good. >> trevor: jordan, what are you drinking? >> sory, it's pumpkin spice latte. >> trevor: i don't understand. >> sorry, a pumpkin is like a native gord-- >> i know what a pumpkin is. i don't understand why you're drinking it on the show. i asked you to cover syria. >> did something happen in syria. >> trevor: are you being serious. what are you respecting on? >> trevor, it's october 1. >> pumpkin-flavored products are taking over. >> pumpkinpalooza. >> sales of pumpkin-spiced products topped $361 million last year. >> pumpkin sandwiches. >> pumpkin flavored beer. >> pumpkin-spiced sausages and flavored vodka. >> 40% of us like pumpkin spice exwl. >> and there's only a three-month window to feel that love. after that it's just the gray death march of spring and summer. >> trevor: i don't understand this, jordan. syria is exploding and you're wasting time on pumpkin spice?

>> no, you're wasting time. the pumpkin spice is blowing up now. syria will be blowing up all year round. you have ever had a pumpkin spice latte in june? it tastes like cat piss. but in october. mmm-mmm. it's like you're tonguing thanksgiving. you better get with the pumpkin program because you don't want to end up like this guy. >> he tried to start a national anti-pumpkin day. >> we don't eat christmas trees. we shouldn't eat pumpkins. >> is that what you want spend october not eating pumpkins and spend december not eating christmas trees. >> trevor: that doesn't make sense? >> it does. >> i former hostage negotiator from charlotte, north carolina, feels he's being held hostage by the atuminal squash. >> trevor: how did we end up

there? >> probably not very good at hostage negotiation. >> trevor: no, no, you sidetakd me. back to the news. syria. let's go live to the capital where we chat with our new senior geopolitical correspondent, desi lydic. >> trevor, i'm here in war-torn damascus where vladimir pumpkin's airstrikes -- >> >> trevor: did you say vladimir pumpkin? is that pumpkin patch even in syria, desi? >> no. >> trevpr: what is happening to my staff? you're alm pumpkin spice addicts. jordan what are you doing? >> i'm cool, bro. i'm cool. >> trevor: are you snorting pumpkin spice? what is going on here. roy, is roy wood, jr. out there. roy wood, jr., please tell me please-- oh, no.

is that a pumpkin spice latte, roy. >> we don't drink pumpkin. >> trevor: thank god. >> it's a sweet potato latte. >> that is gross. really, look, you know what, trevor. you don't understand, pumpkin spice comes but once a year, like christmas or jewish christmas. ( laughter ) we americans cling to these fleety moments, not knowing if somewhat pumpkin spice donut could be our last. i guess where you come from, you don't know what scarcity is. >> trevor: really? >> yup. >> trevor: jordan klepper, everyone. we'll be right back. just let the hostages go. >> i'm not going back to jail!

>> take it easy. >> no, no, no! no!

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♪ you could be trusted baby, have to ruin ♪ what was shiny? now it's all rusted ♪ did you have to hit me, where i'm weak? ♪ baby, i couldn't breathe and rub it in so deep, ♪ salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me ♪ it's so sad to think about the good times, you and i ♪ 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood ♪ you know we used to have mad love ♪ so take a look what you've done 'cause, baby, ♪ now we got bad blood now we got problems ♪ and i don't think we can solve them ♪ you made a really deep cut and baby, now we got ♪ bad blood ♪ baby, think we'd be fine? got scars on my back ♪ from your knife don't think it's in the past, ♪ these kinda wounds

they always last ♪ did you think it all through? all these things ♪ will catch up to you time can heal but this won't, ♪ so if you're coming my way, just don't ♪ it's so sad to think about the good times, you and i 'cause, baby, ♪ now we got bad blood you know it used to be mad love ♪ so take a look what you've done 'cause, baby, ♪ now we got bad blood now we got problems ♪ and i don't think we can solve them ♪ you made a really deep cut and, baby, ♪ now we got bad blood ♪ band-aids don't fix bullet holes ♪ you say sorry just for show you live like that, ♪ you live with ghosts

you love like that ♪ blood runs cold ♪ 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood ♪ you know it used to be mad love ♪ so take a look what you've done ♪ 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood ♪ now we got problems and i don't think ♪ we can solve them you made a really deep cut and, baby, ♪ now we got bad blood ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

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>> trevor: welcome back. i'm here with ryan adams. thank you so much for coming on the show. i'm a huge fan of yours and taylor swift as well. a lot of people thought you recorded this album ironically, and yet you did not. >> yes. ( laughter ) >> trevor: how long did it take for the band to put this all together, man? it's such an amazing album. it's doing well on the charts. congratulations on that, by the way. >> thank you. it took us, like, three weeks.

no, that's actually a long time for us. it's interesting, charlie plays the bass, you know, and my other band, and now this band. and we have a studio in l.a. it's like an all-analog studio, so we do things differently. like, you have to basically play in real time and we don't do anything on computers. so we kind of go in, and if you can't really do it in real life, you can't do it the at all, so three weeks -- >> i would beg to differ. i can do things on computers that i cannot do in real life, my friend. >> i hear you. well, we've been saving up to get a computer. >> trevor: thank you so much for being here with us. ryan adams, everyone. ryan adams, "1989", is available now. play us out with the song "style," please welcome one more time, ryan adams. ♪ >> ♪ midnight, you come and pick

me up with no headlights ♪ long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise ♪ fade into view it's been a while since ♪ i even heard from you i should just tell you, ♪ you should leave i know exactly where it leads ♪ watch us go around, 'round each time ♪ you've got that daydream nation look in your eye ♪ i got that pent up love thing that you like ♪ and we go crashing down, we come back every time ♪ we never go out of style, we never go out of style ♪ ♪ so it goes, i can't keep my

eyes on the road ♪ she takes me home, lights are off, ♪ she's taking off her coat i say i've heard that you've ♪ been out and about with someone new, ♪ someone new, someone new ♪ she says what you heard is true ♪ i can't stop thinking about you ♪ and i've been there far too many times ♪ you've got that daydream nation look in your eye ♪ i got that pent up love thing that you like ♪ and we go crashing down, we come back every time ♪ we never go out of style, we never go out of style ♪ you've got that long brown hair thing