of the daily show. and (cheers and applause) and now i have both. and i'm quite comfortable with one of them. (laughter) >> trevor: the truth is now i'm in the chair and i can only assume that this is as strange for you as it is for me. jon stewart was more than just a late night host. he was often our voice, our refuge and in many ways our political dad. and it's weird because dad has left. (laughter) and now, and now it feels like the family has a new step dad. (laughter) and he's black. (cheers and applause) which is not ideal. (laughter) i also know that many people have questions. for example, why isn't a woman hosting the show, because surely it's about time. well, it turns out that comedy central did ask women

to host and the women they asked turned the job down because they all had better things to do an clearly knew something i didn't. also, why didn't they get an american to host. and again, comedy central tried and those people also declined. and so once more, a job americans rejected is now being done by an immigrant. (cheers and applause) you know, many people are part of the reason that i'm sitting here today. but above all i would be remiss if i didn't acknowledge one man. and that's jon stewart. thank you, jon. (cheers and applause) thank you, thank you for believing in me. i'm not quite clear sure what he saw in me but i will work hard every day to find it and i will make you not look like the crazy old dude who left t inheritance to some random kid from africa. (laughter) and to you,ed daily show viewer, both new and old, at home or on your phone, thank you for joining us as we

continue the war on bull-- (cheers and applause) now seeing this is my first show, we wanted to start it off with something light. syria, just kidding, the pope! >> more than 20,000 people at madison quarter garden. >> 80,000 at central park. >> $1 million in philadelphia. >> pope-palooza. >> pope-chella within pope by southwest. >> the world series of poper. what do you give to the pope that has everything. >> there have been a number of new emojis created to commemorate this trip, including one of the pope kissing a baby and another one of him eating a sub. i'm assuming it is a filly cheesesteak. >> trevor: finally pope-mojis for when you want to inject just the right amount of

confusion into your late night-sexting. sup, girl, you up because winky face cartoon pope like cheesesteak. good luck figuring that one out. (laughter) but in quieter moments his holliness wanted to talk poll-- holiness wanted to talk politics. >> climate change is a problem. protect the vulnerable. as the son of an immigrant family, i am happy to be a guest in this country, which was largely built by immigrants. >> trevor: hates inequality, climate change, loves immigrant. he's like a young bernie sanders. (cheers and applause)

and from the moment he arrived, francis showed that he rolls humble. >> after being greeted by the president, the vice president and an adoring crowd at andrews air force base, he was whisked away in a tinny fiat dwarfed by the secret service vehicles surrounding him. >> trevor: that's a tiny car. somebody's undercompensating. i'm saying the pope has a huge [bleep]. that was a joke. that is a joke. (applause) >> trevor: and what a waste. (laughter) but how much-- how much could the pope really do in one weekend? would he have a really lasting affect on america? the truth s he did. >> the beltway bombshell. house speaker john boehner abruptly resigning from congress. >> the new comes a day after boehner, a devout catholic welcomed the pope to the

u.s. capitol. >> trevor: no! why leave now? i just got here. (laughter) i've got a fancy suit and a new set. i learned how to pronounce your name." bay-ner ". (applause) now i know this wasn't the biggest news of the weekend. there was huge news out there, blood-red moon, the tragic fetty wap didn't, hashtag pray for fetty and of course the mets made the play-offs. (cheers and applause) yeah. i don't know what that is, but jon told me it would work. now to understand why boehner leave saying big deal, you have to understand what a big deal boehner was. >> the speaker controls the floor of the house. and you can't bring anything up without really his say-so. >> trevor: that's right. you cannot make a law in america without the speaker's approval, boehner has final say about which laws come in and which laws don't. he's basically the bouncer at club congress. (laughter)

which is probably the worst club ever. i mean, first of all, there's hardly any women in the club. there's always a bunch of old guys talking about laying pipe. oh, and everyone at the club has aides. that's-- aides, the people that help you, the-- (applause) too late. the speaker as effective as boehner must have been crushing for the republicans, he help enact budget cuts that for the first time decreased federal spending for two years, he made the most of the bush tax cuts permanent and deported taco tuesday from the cafeteria menu. you know who had a tough job? republican candidate marco rubio who had to break the bad news to a room of conservatives. >> just a few fins ago speaker boehner announced that he would be resigning. (cheers and applause) (laughter)

>> trevor: okay, that did not go how i thought. and just by the way, that, that right there, that is the face of a man whose's not used to getting applause. look at him. look at his face. he's like -- what are you doing with your hands? what is going on? well, let me explain to you, rubbio, no, they have not made you popular overnight. that was last week en's value voters summit, a gathering of some of the radical conservatives who shut down the government over obamacare in 2013 and the same who wanted to shut it down again over planned parenthood this week. and for boehner this was the last straw. >> throughout his nearly five-year tenure he struggled with a fractured and more conservative republican caucus. >> boehner has clashed with unruley hard line conservatives who felt he was too willing to compromise. >> what they meant is at all willing to compromise. you see, for this faction, even john boehner, the man once ranked the 8th most conservative man in congress wasn't right wing enough. it's like crack telling meth

that it's not addictive enough. yo, man, you got to step your game up, crystal, you make teeth fall out, big deal. i put down whitney houston. too soon? so the radicals finally got what they wanted, jon boehner tan head on a plate and now that the turmoil is all over, what is the result? >> it will get a lot worse. >> even worse climate. >> more and not less confrontational. >> the next speaker is going to face the same problems that boehner did. >> the same problems, that include a hair trigger set of tear ducts that go off any time a child picks a flower. for more on this we go to senior congressional correspondent jordan klepper, everyone. (cheers and applause) jordan, what is next for the outgoing speaker? >> look, a man like boehner is going to have a lot of options. word on the hill is he is thinking of becoming a professional onion slicer.

so obviously he would be great at a seat filler at a funeral or claire danes impersonator. >> i guess more importantly, jordan what are you hearing about who will replace boehner. i mean wow, those are big shoes to fill. >> well, i'm sure they will find someone extremely qualified. >> trevor: jordan, but in is john boehner, whoever takes that job will probably fall flat on their face in front of the entire nation. >> yeah, i-- i get how you are feeling. taking over for jon--- boehner is hard t doesn't have to be a disaster. >> trevor: i don't know about that, i can already hear everyone saying john, please come back, please come back. >> sure, yes, yes, everyone is feeling nostalgia for the old leader but maybe the new guy will surprise us and just crush it, you know? (cheers and applause) he's going to kill it. i battle's bring a new, like, global perspective to things. (laughter) >> trevor: i'm sorry, global? what are you talking about? >> i just kept hearing

globalling i don't know [bleep] global. i hear viral and youth, everything is just so [bleep] the des something different, a new font. nobody asked me! >> trevor: jordan, jordan, jordan! >> i only hope the new speaker of the house knows that certain people are depending on-- on him. i just bought a condo. >> okay. >> why did i buy a condo? why did i buy a -- >> calm down, calm down, jrd an. i see what's happening. you were really intentionally passionate about politics. i get it. >> dammit he's a [bleep] idiot. you're going to have to sell the condo. >> trevor: jordan, thanks some of. jordan klepper, everyone. jordan klepper, everyone. we'll be right b (door bell rings)

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chaerses (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. now people keep asking me if i'm going to bring more of an international perspective to the daily show. but i say screw that. i'm going interplanetary. >> nasa announced they have proof that liquid watt certificate slowing on the surface of mars. >> you mean this? but up there? great news for nasa. depressing news for california. don't worry, california. they'll find water on you too some day. but you know the water isn't

the exciting part. it is what the water could mean that is exciting. >> the discovery of a free-flowing water source on the planet meaned that a manned mission to mars could soon get off the ground. >> trevor: yeah,! aye new planet to colonize. just when we found out that they have secretly been des providing, perfect timingment nicely done with. more on this, we turn to one of the daily show's newest correspondent at the kennedy space center, please bell come roy wood junior, everyone. >> thanks, trevor. >> trevor: roy, what can you tell us about these new developments sm. >> i can tell you i don't give a-- shit. >> every couple of years on mars nasa finds a face in the dirt, a tired track, now they found a little martian runoff, water? they want us to be excited about mother [bleep] water? >> roy, roy, think of what

water on mars means to us here on earth. this could be a whole new inhabitable planet. we could build colonies. >> no, no, no, leave mars alone. trevor, the universe is like an apartment complex, okay. and nasa is just going around knocking on random doors, letting themselves in. what, because the faucet works? we're allowed to live there? >> but roy, think about this, doesn't this raise the possibility that one day people could live on mars. >> people like who? >> me and you? how am i going to get-- a brother can't catch a cab, you think we can catch a spaceship? >> roy, roy, that's wrong, that's wrong. we're deserving as anyone. >> black people ain't going to mar! you think that you're on tv they're going to take you to mars? you've only had the daily show for one commercial break. these white folks ain't decided if they like you yet!

i will tell you though, i will tell you which black people are going to mars, beyonce, oprah and michael strahan. >> trevor: really, michael strahan. >> while people like anything kelly ripa likes. >> i see, so you don't ever want to go to mars. >> okay, fine, maybe eventually. but i don't want to go first. i don't want to be the first black person. being a black pioneer is stressful. i don't want to be the jackie robinson of mars. bunch of martians yelling the "n" word at me. how did they even learn the word. >> trevor: that's-- don't say that word, we'll be right back ♪ its effects on society really came about because, not because i was selfish and wanted one for myself, which i did. its because i had, had a passion. my whole life i wanted to teach myself to build computers. i wanted to build these things for free. i just wanted to do it for the world and you know, when you want something, that's what you do the best.

♪ ♪ not much has changed. this is except.... it responds to the pressure of your finger. so you can peek into stuff. and pop stuff open. which changes how you play a song. read a text. read an email. read the news. wait, you read the news? kid: yep of course you do. now you can change apps like this. pay at more places like this. and the new color looks like this... it's rose gold, it's awesome. and siri is more helpful than ever. bill hader: hey siri, show me photos of tortellini. siri: here are some images of tortellini... maybe get take out? the camera shoots 4k video now, which changes how your movies look. nice... even selfies have changed. now your screen is the flash. that's gonna get, like, a million likes. selena gomez: thanks.

actually, photos themselves have changed. they move now. you just touch them. so yeah, that's what's changed. ♪ i'm s(ding)g. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guys, i'm back! new snack bites from... (ding) ♪ hot pockets!

you know, it's always bugged me that we couldn't say that, "cheerios are gluten free." oats don't contain gluten, but sometimes grains that do, get mixed in. so we took them out! which means now, cheerios can be enjoyed by everyone! just original cheerios? honey nut cheerios too, buzz. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back. our guest tonight is a very funny comedian who is currently on his what now comedy tour. the tour will go international beginning in january. his new film will be out in

january. please welcome kevin hart! (cheers and applause) >> how are you? hello! hello! >> thank you. i brought you a gift, man. >> trevor: you brought me a gift. >> yes, i'm a classy guy. this is your first show, kick it off with a bang. >> open it up, it's a nice gift, open it it's a nice gift. >> trevor: no one has ever brought me a gift. >> open it up! rip it up! open it like you're not from the states. rip it open, there, you go. >> trevor: ties? >> those are ties, man. got you some ties. i bet you will wear a lot of suits, you will need some ties. i got you guy ties, that is a thoughtful giflt. i thought it was real good. i expected a bigger reaction. whatever. i thought you would give me a lot more than what you gave, it's okay.

>> trevor: thank you, kevin. >> i thought you was going to dance or something. it's all right. >> trevor: yeah! thank you so much for being here. >> thank you, man, thank you for having me. >> trevor: this is exciting. you know it's weird for me, i fell in love with real husbands of hollywood. >> thank you, man. >> trevor: and then then now it's like, are you still a mitch? >> those who don't know, a mitch is a male term for a bitch. i didn't know if you guys knew it or not. yes, of course i am. man. i have a lot of mitch ways that are still with me that i don't plan on getting rid of any time soon. so yes, i am very much a male bitch, yes, me, yes. >> trevor: you you are a comedic rock star, that is what you are. i see you on instagram, doing crazy push-ups, all ripped up. your. >> pie body looks amazing. >> yeah, your body looks amazing and you are an action star, ride along. that was the first time, i saw you hyping it but i

didn't know you had become an action star. >> yes, i'm a firm believer i can do whatever i put my mind to. i think comedy is something that opened up a lot of doors. and those doors that i chotion to walk through were joyous. i was like oh my god, i get to go on action movies. oh my god, i get to do comedy, drama. >> trevor: the height thing was always my concern. >> i don't know-- i have no idea what you are talking about. height, height is a perception. it's what you think it is. i don't-- i don't believe it, you know. i don't ever believe it somebody it told me one day you are a lot smaller than i thought you were. that means is you are thinking wrong, you know. that's not my problem, that's your problems. >> trevor: it's not a problem because are you going all over the world. the what now, that is insane. comic to comic performing in front of 54,000. >> 53,000, i filled out a football stadium in philadelphia, the first comedian to ever do it. (cheers and applause) >> thank you. >> trevor: how do you tell a

joke. i performed to 53,000 people-- how do you tell a joke in a crowd that big. >> it's the same as are you doing today. i think any environment you put yourself in as a comedian is your job to make that environment intimate as possible am i'm a story teller. i paint pictures. when you look at these pictures and you grasp what i'm saying you find yourself relating to them. so regardless of the audience of 5,000, 10,000 or 53,000, my message is still the same. i think that's what makes me unique. let's stop for a second and address how well-spoken that thing was. >> that sounded like a free speech. >> trevor: he is running for president. >> that was insane, i was like wow, this is really going good. >> trevor: that was nice, you were waiting for it to stop and it never stopped. >> it kept on going. >> oom's like i'm pulling this out of my ass and its's working. >> trevor: let's talk about the tour. you are going international. >> everywhere, including south africa.

>> yeah, johannesburg, capetown, durbin. >> trevor: first time. >> my first time. >> trevor: are you excited. >> very exciting. tour. >> trevor: touring the world, making movies with a rock star body as well. >> yes, sir, yeah. >> trevor: really beautiful. >> have you seen my pants? can you get this, my pants! (cheers and applause) i don't know, i just started wearing these. >> trevor: a rock star comedian and the stripes. man, thank you so much for coming. i appreciate you. i appreciate what you stand for. i appreciate what you are doing out there. the most important thing for me, and this is one thing i wanted to ask you about before you leave is why the running? >> why is that so important to you, the working out? >> i'm big on health, man. i feel like i put a major demand on my body so i need my body to respond. >> why do you make everyone run with you? >> here is what i have learned, i have learned that i have a platform where i can motivate and inspire. and what better way to do that than running.

running is something that everybody can do around the world regardless of race, shape or size, you can all do it together. brings you closer together. i have done a great job doing it. these runs now got to a point where i have got 5 to 7,000 people out running 5 ks with me and it will get global, bigger and better. it will get global. >> trevor: thank you very much. the what now tour kicks off internationally on january 3. ride along in theaters january 15th. kevin hart, everyone. (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ geico motorcycle, great rates for great rides. who knows, one of these kids just might be the one. to clean the oceans, to start a movement, or lead a country. it may not be obvious yet, but one of these kids is going to change the world. we just need to make sure she has what she needs. welcome to windows 10. the future starts now for all of us.

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now at chili's, mix & match fajitas. fill them up with our new prime rib and your fresh mex favorites. [ woman vocalizing ] ♪ we gonna have some fun now you know, it's always bugged me that we couldn't say that, "cheerios are gluten free." oats don't contain gluten, but sometimes grains that do, get mixed in. so we took them out! which means now, cheerios can be enjoyed by everyone! just original cheerios? honey nut cheerios too, buzz.

(cheers and applause) >> trevor: thank you very much. that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 110 clock. here it is, your moment of zen. >> i have heard you speak gloingly of him. i've heard you express disappointment as well. are you going to miss him? >> no one-- i respect my co

>> larry: tonightly, fox goes after obama for his weakness against russia. but to be fair here, fox can go ( bleep ) itself. ( laughter ) i mean, to be fair. ( cheers and applause ) obama and putin also shared an awkward toast at a u.n. luncheon. things only got worse when putin illegally annexed obama's side salad. ( laughter ) not good. that was not cool. and rush limbaugh claims that nasa has been corrupted by the left. you know, he's just mad that nasa recently reported rush limbaugh is visible from space. greetings, earth lings! this is "the nightly show." captioning sponsored by comedy central

>> larry: welcome to "the nightly show." you're a great crowd. thank you verthank you very muc. thank you very much. i am larry wilmore. big news with the u.n. general assembly in new york this week. i like it when all these world leaders get together, you know, with all these strange accents mixed with awkward interactions between rogue leaders. so nothing as awkward as last week. do you remember last week when biden tried to strike up a conversation with the pope tes worst possible time. ( laughter ) horrible! "joe, my hat's up here. joe!" ( laughter ) ( applause ) not good. what i'm talking about is yesterday's