>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i am trevor noah! our guest tonight, famed author and scientist richard dawkins is joining us! (cheers and applause) yes! but first, as you may or may not know, the democratic debate just finished. i can't believe cnn just canceled it.

(laughter) and reran the republican debate. that was heartless. i'm going to need time to think about this. so we'll cover it tomorrow. but right now, seeing as it's the month of october, it's time for a spoooooky story, which brings us to our new halloween segment -- my twisted tales of inside the beltway terror! mwah-hahahaha! i'm told americans think this is scary. (laughter) the story begins in a house upon a hill full of spooky skeletons covered in organs and flesh and clothing. the people lost their leader, a haunted tree man with bark for skin! they say you can still hear him roam the halls at night crying. no one knows why. (laughter)

it's shining in your eyes. that's a scary thing for me. i'm going to lose my vision. i can't. the saga of the speaker continues. john boehner speaker of the house stepped down and everyone pegged kevin mccarthy the majority lead tore make boehner's place. why not? such a seat would be a politician's dream. or maybe he'd do this. >> majority leader kevin mccarthy the frontrunner dropped out of the race -- >> mccarthy's announcement at launch meeting minutes before the press conference left members eating barbecue stunned. >> members were "crying in the cloak room" unable to handle the unrest and confusion. (laughter) >> trevor: that is the saddest thing i've ever heard. a bunch of old men crying in a cloak room with barbecue hands -- i can't believe he left! aaahhh! vinegar! ahhh! (laughter) no one knows exactly why

mccarthy dropped out but there were a few clues. >> walter jones in north carolina, congressman released a letter saying if any of these speaker candidates have any skeletons in their closet, they should immediately drop their bid. >> allegations mccarthy had to step down possibly because of an affair. >> mccarthy was asked if that had anything to do with his decision. >> no! come on. >> trevor: no! no! i didn't do anything! i didn't do anything wrong at all! nooooo! nooooo! i don't know what you're talking about, nooooo! i'm a good guy, nooooo! you guys are disgusting, by the way. (laughter) but how long could it be to find a new speaker of the house? the most powerful republican in congress second in line to the president and a very convenient parking space. who's interested?

>> are you interested in that vote? >> well, that's very kind, neil, but no. >> i would never take this job. 'm not the best choice. t's not something i've had on my to-do list. >> trevor: well, that begs the question, what is on your to-do list, congresswoman blackburn, what is on that list? buy bread, destroy trev -- oh that's me! ahhh! seriously, though, why will no one take the job? >> it's hearing cats. you're tarred and feathered. a path to the white house. career ending move. no sane mammal would want this job. this is the worst job in washington by many orders of magnitude. >> trevor: wow, the speaker of the house is so awful even mike rowe would be, like, can we do another episode where i work inside a toilet? speaker boehner found out representing the interests of

the fractured republican party and maintaining function in legislature is impossible. you negotiate for a group who doesn't want to negotiate. like piloting the plane without wings, tale, engine and pretty much anything but the peanuts. you're trying to fly a bag of peanuts. (laughter) fear not, america, because there is still one candidate brave enough to be volunteered by other people. >> pressure is growing on congressman paul ryan to throw his hat in the ring. >> reportedly paul ryan got two calls from speaker boehner saying you're the only one who can unite the party. >> i did everything but carry his gym bag. >> he said, do you have something to tell me, mr. ryan and paul ryan said, no, i don't. >> trevor: because he's at the gym! he's always being accosted at the gym. he must feel like every woman at the gym. (laughter) paul ryan isn't an idiot either.

>> he said his answer is still no and he's still not running. >> i haven't changed my mind. my answer is still the same. i have nothing more to say or nothing new to add. >> trevor: leave paul ryan alone! he's just not that into you. at this rate in a few days, i feel like paul ryan will probably grow a beard and someone will be like are you running? and someone will answer the door and say, paul ryan, you just missed him. i'm his brother paul brian, yeah, i don't know why our names are like that either. one more reason why paul ryan may not want to leave his party and that reason is the internet. >> paul ryan is said to be too far to the left. >> some articles are saying he's not conservative enough to be speaker. >> one calling ryan a dangerous pick. >> a conservative headline, paul ryan is the absolute worst choice for speaker. >> trevor: i'm so confused. this is a real headline. so it turns out all those years

of fighting obamacare, right privatize medicare and massively cut domestic spending, that was all a cover. well played, congressman. or should i say -- comrade. are we still doing that? for more, we turn to senior political correspondent, jessica williams! (cheers and applause) jessica! help me understand what on earth is going on. how does paul ryan go from being ben gurion the poster boy for conservatism to a communist. >> simple, paul ryan is getting playboy'd. >> trevor: i'm sorry? you didn't hear? playboy magazine says it will no longer feature nude pictures. >> you're now just one click away from every sex act imaginable for free.

>> trevor: no nudity in playboy? >> huh-uh. >> trevor: yes! more space for the articles! yes! words are so sexy! mmm! multiple syllables! >> ooh! take it easy! >> trevor: jessica, what does playboy have to do with paul ryan. >> used to be if you were looking to see pictures of naked ladies, playboy knew what would turn you on in the same way paul ryan was the clean cut boy who used to excite republicans but that's changed. >> trevor: because of things online. >> exactly. you have sleazy sites offering extreme right positions with the click of a mouse, con won't do it for you anymore. you won't pay si $6.99 for a cer fold when you can see a cat lady play a hairless granny like a glove. >> trevor: you have all these internet sites that tells you

how washington works on the internet. >> yes and you need to get crazier to get the same thrill. now when the bill hits the floor, five guys are ready to filibuster. what happened to foreplay? >> trevor: they expect these unrealistic fantasies like repealing obamacare. >> sort of sad actually. you get influenced by this extreme material then it hurts you when it comes time for real governance. there you are on the floor of the house and there is a perfectly good bill for you to vote on. you should be ready to just (bleep) the (bleep) out of that bill but you can't even get your hands up! it's a tragedy! (cheers and applause) >> trevor: i see what you're saying, but i don't know. is it really fair to compare hardline conservatives with extreme porn? >> oh mix gosh, of course. they're both fund bid old dudes who want to stay anonymous. they have weird views about the

roles of women. they are obsessed with drilling in pristine places and both want to let guys shoot wherever they want! >> trevor: okay, jessica. (cheers and applause) >> wait, wait, wait, more. here goes. nothing gets them more hot and bothered than seeing the thing they loved get (bleep) by a black guy! >> trevor: that's it, jessica williams, everyone! williams, everyone!

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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to the shoavment when a new story fall through the cracks, lewis black catch is it in a segment we call "back in black."

>> thanks, there ever, i like what you've -- thanks, trevor. i like what you've done with the set. >> trevor: you like it? no, i don't give a (bleep) millennials, 80 million of them, 19-34-year-olds swarming the u.s.a. and leaving nothing but selfie sticks and gluten free pizza crusts in their wake! (applause) and the worst part is we're falling all over ourselves just to get their attention! even me! right now, i'm on snap chat! that's right! snap chat! this is what i've slumped to! go ahead, step up and swipe your dicks on my face your jackals! corporations caught the bug. they're not even interested in my money anymore. they want the cold, hard,

wrinkle free cash of millennials. >> mcdonald's in canada, they're rolling out self-serve kiosks. they say millennials will love using kiosks. >> millennials, everything with them with electronic. most millennials would rather deal with a computer, iphone, ipad than have interaction with another human being. >> i have been there, millennials. i can't get in and out of my local mickey d's withouthm÷ and my cashier having a lengthy heart-to-heart. stacy, you're always so tough on yourself because your mother road you too hard. that's why you struggle with your self-esteem. and don't forget the (bleep) napkins! (applause) but if millennials don't want to talk to us, i guess it's our loss because look how charming they are. >> easier, quicker, order just whatever i want with a touch of

a button. but if i order it on my phone, it would be even more convenient. (laughter) >> how little work do you want to do? does the cashier have to baby-bird your mcrib right into your mouth? (laughter) (applause) it's one thing for millennials to screw up america's hallowed fast food joints, now they're doing it to my place of worship. >> younger gamblers don't want to pull a lever. so the future of gambling could look less like this and more like an arcade. >> we're going into a brand-new world. >> what the hell are you talking about? it's not a brand-new world, it's a casino! you can fiddle with that joy stick all you want! there is no code for getting back your kid's college fund. so what does this kid-friendly

casino have in store for us? >> this is one where we're assembling games. dreadnought where you take out enemy spaceships. you have police pooches and dry to kill zombie cats. >> trevor: so to get points you play one type of animal for another type of animal. what an original concept. hope you're lawyered up police pooches because if those birds were angry before now they're (bleep)! but if that's the way we're doing things, download my new game, fluet ninja! a ninja who loves slicing flute! so video games and touch screens is that correct all it takes to appeal to millennials?

>> chuck e. cheese, now selling beer and wine in select locations! executives say they want to try to cater to millennial moms who want to entertain and feed the kids at the same time but not give up their own fun! >> trevor: yeah! turn it into a drinking game! take a shot every time a kit (bleep) in the ball pit! (applause) you millennials disgust me! seems like all you want to do is drink, gamble and avoid any kind of human interaction! wait a minute -- that sounds familiar... holy crap! i'm a millennial! this revelation is totes on fleek! >> trevor: totes on fleek! lewis black, everyone!

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its effects on society really came about because, not because i was selfish and wanted one for myself, which i did. its because i had, had a passion. my whole life i wanted to teach myself to build computers. i wanted to build these things for free. i just wanted to do it for the world and you know, when you want something, that's what you do the best. ♪ ♪

now at chili's, mix & match fajitas. fill them up with our new prime rib and your fresh mex favorites. [ woman vocalizing ] ♪ we gonna have some fun now before it was honey in these honey nut cheerios, it was honey being collected. and honey getting made. and honey that was just beginning.

>> trevor: welcome back! (cheers and applause) my guest tonight is best' keeling author of the god delusion. his memoir, brief candle in the dark: my life in science. please welcome, richard dawkins (cheers and applause) >> trevor: oh! mr. dawkins. quite an honor. >> and for me, too. >> trevor: i think you're lying but i'll take it. this is such a beautiful book. i mean, when i started reading it, i thought, okay, it's going to be richard dawkins, we are talking about science, and yet it was really fun, interesting stories. one thing that struck me

immediately was the fact that you said you no longer wished to debate with creationists. you do not choose to debate with them. then i found out that you actually debated ben carson in 2006. was that the last straw? >> that's true. (laughter) no, he's a very nice man. i got on with him. he's just ignorant. (laughter) of science. >> trevor: i've run knows you as an atheist. everyone knows it of richard dawkins, the atheist. but you're also an evolutionary biologist. when did you first realize you had this god-given talent? >> my evolution-given talent, such that it is. no, it's not very much. first of all, i realized i wanted to be a scientist quite late, when i got to oxford,

actually. >> trevor: what intrigued me was you were talking about the lectures you were giving around the world, especially the japanese lectures you were giving to children. i couldn't quite understand how that came to you. why was richard dawkins talking to japanese children? >> well, there is a thing called the christmas lectures in london. they have been going since the 1820s, and i gave them in 1991, i think. there is a tradition that these christmas lectures are given the following year in japan in june. it's still called the christmas lectures, but they're in june. so i went to japan and we took the whole circus, all done by demonstrations and took the children on to the stage. we don't use slides very much. i had one slide in japan which was of a praying mantis. it wasn't a slide actually. it was a camera pointing at tank of praying mantises. then after i finished with them i just went on talking. then i became aware that i had

lost my audience. i became aware that they were looking up at the screen, and i looked up at the screen -- i was talking about something completely else -- and the female praying mantis was eating the head of the male. (laughter) who was valiantly going on copulating with her! (laughter) >> trevor: japanese children were watching a praying mantis having sex without a head. >> and having sex more valiantly without the head. if you cut the head off an insect, it performance better at sex. it loses its inhibitions, i think. >> trevor: wow, sounds a lot like congress. (laughter) that's interesting. it's a beautiful book with a lot of stories about your life, you know, traveling in and around the world. i was fascinated by the story of your daughter in the book. how many times did she come with you on these trips? >> well, she didn't go to japan. she did go to the christmas lectures in london. >> trevor: yes. and i think she only went

once, actually. and i was talking about something where i was pretending that i needed to inject something's eyeball with some anesthetic or another, so i produced an enormous veterinarian syringe, big enough to sedate a rhinoceros. being the christmas lectures, i then that did to call for a volunteer. so i said any volunteers to come? of course, nobody put their hand up. but then one little girl of seven shyly put her hand up. it was my darling daughter juliet, and she was -- i was so touched, i almost choked up at her loyalty and courage. >> trevor: but you still went through with the demonstration, you injected -- (laughter) one final question. i was fascinated by this. in the book, you talked about meeting the queen. i don't know if you can get this on camera. this is fascinating. you have ties all painted by

your wife. >> yes, these are unique one-of ties, you can't buy them. they're one-ofs. she always paint animals and one of my ties hat warthogs on it. warthogs are not exactly beautiful animals but kind of cute and funny. i wore my warthog tie on the one and only occasion i was invited to lunch with the queen, and a number of other people, australian rug by captain and a ballerina and the queen of england. the queen took one look at my tie and said why do you wear such ugly animals on your tie? >> trevor: and you said? ma'am, if the animals are ugly, how much greater is the art industry to make it into such a beautiful tie? >> trevor: you are so poised and beautiful! brief candle is in stores now on the bookshelves. the bookshelves. yolike you're stuck in the same place in life?

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(cheers and applause) tr