tv The Daily Show Comedy Central November 11, 2015 11:00pm-11:32pm PST
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>> from come deal central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. (applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show. thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, msnbc host chris hayes is joing us, everybody. and he will be here to talk about last night's g.o.p. debate. and speaking of the g.o.p. debate, last night was the g.o.p. debate. another one. i've got to be honest, you know, right now they're starting to feel a little bit like the pirates of the caribbean movie. the first one was entertaining, you know, because of the goofy, rambling unbalanced star. but now after four of these
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things, i'm starting to get tired of the same old stories about the guy with the sharp weapons, and the female krk with no believable line. this debate was down from crowded clown chorus event, it was clear from the start that unlike fox business was going to run a tight ship. >> the rules are simple. if a candidate goes over their allotted time, will you hear this. >> it sounds like a game show but it's not. >> trevor: that's right. because if this was a game show it would screen out all the crazy people and everyone would actually have to answer the questions. (laughter) i'm not going to lie. i'm not going to lie. i thought the bell was a great feature and a lot of the evening sounded like this. >> they say keep goingk keep going you dummies, keep going. >> and that is what this election should be about.
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as i said at the first-- if i'm. >> i'm the son of an immigrant who came legally from cuba. to seek the american dream. hillary clinton embodies the cronyism of washington. >> the dead horse act, now this statute, and the irs. >> it sounds like they're scoring points. i love it. it's so much fun. and actually fox business had a live stream of the guy who was manning the bells during the debate. >> we should gradually raise the retirement age. we should have benefits grow more slowly, we should allow them to keep a portion-- (applause) >> . >> trevor: i feel you, hechter, i feel you. now tread cruz was also responsible for what has got to be my favorite moment of 2015 debate so far. but to fully appreciate this, we need to back up a little bit, specifically to the greatest debate moment from the 2012 campaign when rick perry was selling his plan to shrink the federal government. >> it's three agencies of government when i get there that are gone. commerce, education and
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the-- what is the third one there-- let's see, commerce and-- let's see-- i can't. the third one, i can't. sorry. >> trevor: it's like watching the hindenburg crash on top of the tie tannic. -- titanic. but from that incident, a lesson could not have been more clear. if you are a state-wide elected official from texas, participating in a republican presidential primary debate hosted by a financial news network in the second week of november, then the one thing you should not do, under any circumstances is list the federal agencies you would propose to cut using your fingers. that's all you have to not do. it is a very specific lesson that everyone understood, almost everyone. >> five major agencies that i would eliminate.
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the irs, the department of commerce, the department of energy, the department of commerce, and hud. >> trevor: why! why does this keep happening? it shouldn't be that hard to remember a list of three to five things. (laughter). >> trevor: it's like ted cruz is in a greek tragedy where someone shows him his horrible destiny and he trains and he tries hard and he does everything he can to avoid it but he still ends up banging his mom. it's the craziest thing ever. you were auditioning to be president of the united states of america. you can't remember numbers. now you want people to trust with you new clear codes, are you kidding me. >> the codes are-- the two, the-- oh, the four-- what is the other-- oh, china got us. boom! i will say that cruz's handling of his gaffe was much belter than perry because he just powered through like nothing was wrong. >> commerce, energy, and commerce, that's five.
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prove me wrong. i bet rick perry was sitting at home like-- well played. and of course, everyone was watching jeb bush whose flagging campaign needed him to come out of the gate strong and confident. >> i was in washington, iowa, about three months ago talking about how bad washington d.c. is. get the-- kind of the-- anyway-- (laughter). >> trevor: what happened? cuz he sets up a joke. but then it just seems like he's too lazy to figure out the punch line. you know, a rabbi and a skinhead walk into a bar and-- ha ha,-- you see how that could-- ha-- i mean-- they're-- ha ha, they're sort of-- sort of, anyway, you get the idea. ha, ha, ha, ha. and it wasn't just his joke. his foreign policy material didn't fare much better. >> the idea that it is a good idea for putin to be in syria,
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let isis take out assad and then putin will take out isis. that's like a board game, that's like playing monopoly or something. >> trevor: wait, let me get that straight. monopoly is the first board game that comes to your mind? there's no better board game to describe the risk, of a strategy that puts our battleships into trouble. sorry. (applause). >> trevor: but who knows, maybe the bush family's monopoly games just get really intense. you have been captured by isis, go directly to the mass quer aid mass grave, do not pass go, do not say good-bye to your family. (laughter) now we also saw the possible new narrative in this story. donald trump might be overstaying his welcome. >> ronald reagan was strong but
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ronald reagan. >> ronald reagan walked away at reykjavik. he walked away, he quit talking when it was time to quit talking. >> can i finish with my time. >> why does she keep interrupting everybody? >> terrible. >> yeah, i would like to finish-- i would like to finish my response, basically. >> trevor: yeah, boo! boo, donald trump. don't you dare shush carly fiorina. she may have another great fake abortion story to tell. (laughter) (applause) now it's pretty clear. donald trump old wants women talking on stage after he has awarded them some kind of sash. (applause) some signature policy, of course, is to deporlt upwards of 11 million immigrants. now jeb called it impossible. john kasich called it silly. but trump had history on his side. >> let me just tell you that dwies eisenhower moved a million
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and a half illegal immigrants out of this country, moved them just beyond the border. they came back. moved them again, beyond the border. dwight ice en-- eisenhower. you don't get nicer. you don't get friend leer. they moved a million and a half people out. >> trevor: yeah. and guess what, trump is absolutely-- (laughter). >> trevor: right. oh, except for two things. eisenhower actually ended up deporting probably around 250,000 immigrants. and second, that program that donald trump loves so much was officially called operation wetback. no, no, no, don't judge. i know that name may seem crude, people. but there's something to be said for a policy that doesn't hide where it's coming from. yeah, it's like if stop and frisk was called hey, what is in that black guy's pocket.
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(laughter) (applause) it's honest. i like that. and then mersfully at the end, it was time for the closing statement. the candidates chance to rally new supporters with their unique and uplifting vision. and here is the republican frontrunner. >> in the two hours of this debate, five people have died from drug-related deaths. a hundred million dollars has been added to our national debt. 200 babies have been killed by abortionists. and two veterans have taken their lives out of despair. >> trevor: and the good news is, parents, in a few months he'll be available for kid's birthday parties. what do you say after that? how do you end-- i mean i don't even know what to say. do you make a ben carson joke at parties. he says-- i don't-- does anyone else have a joke? >> i was in washington, iowa,
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about three months ago, talking about how bad washington d.c. is, you get the-- kind of the-- anyway. >> trevor: we'll be right >> trevor: we'll be right back. ♪ just look at those two. happy. in love. and saving so much money on their car insurance by switching to geico... well, just look at this setting. do you have the ring? oh, helzberg diamonds. another beautiful setting. i'm not crying. i've just got a bit of sand in my eyes, that's all. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. there's a network that never stops improving. ...that's grown faster than any other, covering nearly every american. and these geese. but it's not who you think. it's t-mobile.
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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. now one thing most pundits agreed on on last night's republican debate is that it was much better than previous debates, partly due to the fact that it had more substance, which is true. because [bleep] is also a substance. so to sort out the truth from the fiction, we turn to our senior political analyst desi lydic in our new segment called "what the actual facts.". >> thanks, trevor. what a great night for all these candidates. they really said some things. (laughter) so let's get straight to the fun with the economic policy of dr. ben carson. >> people need to be educated on the minimum wage. every time we raised the minimum wage, the number of jobless people increases. >> doesn't he just turn you on?
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(laughter) this statement is true. people do need to be educated on the minimum wage. specifically you, dr. ben carson. cuz in the last 37 years the number of jobless people has decreased four times after a raise in the minimum wage. i'm rating his statement as false. or as dr. ben carson calls it, autobiographical. (laughter) (applause) next up we've got. >> if putin wants to go in, and i got to know him very well because we were both on "60 minutes." we were stablemates. and we did very well that night. >> oh. trump is so cute. he thinks he's friends with putin because they were on a show together. now techically trump and putin did appear on the same episode of "60 minutes." in two completely unrelated segments that were shot in different cities.
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(laughter) in different countries, on different continents. (laughter) so we're going to class fie this one as wrong but adorable. like a puppy snorting cocane. (applause) now even if trump had met putin on "60 minutes," karmee fiorina wouldn't have been impressed. >> i would not be talking to vladimir putin right now, although i have met him as well, not in a green room for a show, but in a private meeting. >> carly says that unlike trump, she actually met putin. and this was in a private meeting and not in a green room. >> you met putin. >> i met him in beijing. we were in sort of a green room setting, actually. >> sorry, carly. that is a video that actually exists. and since it's such a weird thing to lie about, i'm giving
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that one a rachel d doseal. plawtion plaws-- (applause) let's stay with miss fiorina on a more substantial claim she made last night. >> i think what's interesting about dodd-frank is it's a great example of how socialism starts. socialism starts when government creates a problem and then government steps in to solve the problem. government created the problem. >> now this is a tricky one. dodd-frank does get the government involved in banking. but that's not actually how socialism starts. socialism starts when you are your college roommate goes off to venezuala for the summer and comes back with a nose ring and some crazy but really interesting ideas. the next thing you know you are arguing with your dad at thanksgiving and your mom is crying so you take the dodge out just to clear your head. you wind up in the neighborhood of your first boyfriend.
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e september now it has been turned into a strip mall so you park out in front of a sporting goods store. listening to ted leo and smoking cloves thinking about what it all means. that is how socialism starts. (applause) i'm sorry, who is next? >> this country declared its independentance in 1776 and less than a hundred years it was the number one dmek power in the world. and-- economic power in the world. and the reason is because we had an atmosphere that encouraged entrepreneurial risk-taking and capital investment. >> now that is true, by 1872 the united states had the highest domestic economic output in the world. thanks to what ben carson calls an atmosphere of entrepreneurial risk-taking and investment. which is a really nice way to describe slavery.
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(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is the host-of-msnbc's all in with chris hayes, please welcome chris hayes. (applause) it's chris hayes. >> hey there. >> trevor: how are you. thank you for coming, man. it is great to have you here to talk about the debate. do these things still matter?
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are we just having fun now? >> you know, that is a real-- i mean the big question of this campaign so far i think is basically does all of the craziness we've seen in the last few months, will it matter in the end. and there is a debate between people who think that this will be like the past and set elevator down and go for the person they think is most electable or whether something is fundamentally different about the republican party and someone like donald trump or ben carson can-- . >> trevor: but people haven't settled down. don't worry, trevor, it's summer madness. it happens every year. ha, ha, ha, ha. and now guys are like he's still in the lead? ha, ha, ha. like it's not changing. >> that is exactly right. and so that, i think, is an argument for what is happening now. the other thing that matters now, you have already seen, whatever ends up happening, this period of time has already knocked out two people. scott walker and governor rick perry who would in another counter factual universe be plawsable nominees in the republican party.
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you don't think so. >> trevor: no, no, i was just picturing this universe. i was picturing all the things happening in the universe where they were the most-- that say strange thing to think about. okay. so i watched the debates. i do not understand-- does the term debate, is it being used loosely now? because i feel like it's no longer a debate now, right. it's just a. >> part of that is like saying i'm going to go play tennis with eight people. i mean, there is a certain-- . >> trevor: that sounds like a great game. >> exactly. but it would be pretty messy. the point of a debate, debates are set up with a proand a con. a revolve or we think about lincoln-douglas. there was just one lincoln and one douglas and they talked to each other. it's really unclear how you actually engineer a debate with ten or eight people that remotely is he resemmables an actual debate. >> trevor: why don't they have a knockout. >> there was an article the other day, this should be a
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series of one-on-one-- . >> trevor: and you knock each other out, that would be entertaining. >> that should be better. i think it should be like march madness with brackets. and then we go, and you do one-on-one. (applause). >> trevor: i like your style. >> and do it quick. so it's kasich, rand paul, one-on-one. >> trevor: and you go and knock each other out. i think part of the problem now, it looks like they have so many candidates that it's just noise now. there is nobody talking whereas on the democrat side, it seems like it is pretty smooth sailing. >> because there is more time i really do think that is a big part of it. i also think at the risk of bias, i think there is a little more-- . >> trevor: which are you are by the way as liberal media. >> i am, i wear it proudly. >> trevor: i thought i should call out on that. >> i wear it proudly. i do think there is a little bit more desire for policy substance amongst the people paying attention at this point in the primary in the democratic field, if i can say that. >> trevor: you can. you have said it, you said it. you have said it. the accusations that the mainstream media is prodemocrat,
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anti-republican is one that is being, you know, i guess thrown out by the g.o.p. right now. you are part of that machine. you are the mainstream media. is that how it works? is the mainstream media democrat all the time and are they anti-republican. how does that? >> i would say, i'm sort of out-- i'm part of the mainstream media, but my view point is pretty clear. i think what people don't like is when they feel their biases at work that are unannounced. i think the mainstream media is biased but not in any partisan way. i think there are certain biases we have. we have bias towards spectacle. we have bias toward someone just blew something up. let's go cover that. 100,000 people marched for something somewhere else. i don't know if that is good television, right? so there is all kind of biases that end up having different expressions along the political spectrum but mostly they're biases of the form of television. >> trevor: so if you were to
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say the next debate is coming up. without bias in your hearts, who do think is going to be knocked out next? who do you think should be knocked out sneks? >> who disoi think should be knocked out. look, just to stream line everything. >> should? >> trevor: yes. >> i mean look. >> trevor: kick them off the back of the bus. kick them off. met forically speaking, of course. >> here is what i would say. the united states has never, with the exception of two generals, has never grant and eisenhower, as far as i can tell, i think, has never elected anyone with as little political experience as donald trump and ben carson currently have and i think there is a reason for that. i mean-- (applause) you know, look, ben carson is a manifestly accomplished, smart guy, right? >> trevor: yes. >> but in the same way i think bernie sanders is a smart guy. i don't want him to operate on my brain tomorrow. >> trevor: that didn't sound
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biased at all. thank you so much for that. airing weekdays at 8 p.m. on msnbc. krais hayes, everybody. thank you. thank you. (applause) oh no... (under his breath) hey man! hey peter. (unenthusiastic) oh... ha ha ha! joanne? is that you? it's me... you don't look a day over 70. am i right? jingle jingle. if you're peter pan, you stay young forever.
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>> larry: tonightly, fox business network hosts the republican debate in milwaukee. the beer capital of america. and just like old milwaukee beer, it was hard to finish and made me throw up a little in my mouth ( laughter ) the 1950s program "operation wetback" as an example of good immigration policy. what a surprise! a racist thing created 60 years ago. and i sit down with shonda rhimes, the create of "scandal" and "grey's anatomy." we'll have to wait and see
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