>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much for tuning in! we have a great show tonight. my guest legendary hip-hop producer and artist timbaland is here, everybody! (cheers and applause) yes! after the attacks in paris the war on terror is heating up again and we've just learned something new about the terrorist' devious tactics. >> counterterrorism officials say i.s.i.s. recently launched a 24-hour help desk manned by a dozen senior operatives. >> trevor: i.s.i.s. has a help line? for terrorists?

this is insane. (laughter) and also, a great opportunity for us. because, you see, all we need to do now is make sure none of their attacks ever work again and all we need to do is secretly replace their help desk operators with our guys. (laughter) imagine what we could do if we could infiltrate the system. yeah, we would just be there like -- yes, i'm sorry you're having trouble with your suicide vest. yes, are you alone and at home by yourself? good. well, have you tried turning it off and back on again? (blast) (laughter) (cheers and applause) hello? hello? next caller. (laughter) but, of course, getting rid of i.s.i.s. is not that simple which is why president obama has been facing some really tough questions. >> i think a lot of americans

have this frustration in that they see the united states has the greatest military in the world, it has the backing of nearly every other country in the world when it comes to taking on i.s.i.s. i guess the question is and if you'll forgive the language is why can't we take out these bastards? (laughter) >> trevor: first of all, kudos to the president for only cussing that journalist out in his head. (laughter) and secondly, cnn's jim acosta, i'm glad you apologized for that potty mouth of yours. yeah, i got to apologize for this, uh, bastards... whoa hoa! somebody's been hanging out with his older cousin! whoa! hey, guys, are we going to get these i.s.i.s. knuckleheads or what? come on! they're a bunch of jerk wads! i'm telling the birdbrains they'll know what's coming! we've got to give these i.s.i.s. shmucks the wing-a-ding-ding! who are you?

the president responded as if the question was actually coming from an adult. >> we're going to continue to pursue the strategy that has the best chance of working even though it does not offer the satisfaction, i guess, of a neat headline or an immediate resolution. >> trevor: i'm sorry, president obama... this is non-immediate resolution stuff is just not going to cut it. these are americans you're talking to. the people who spend millions of dollars a year on diet pills that will make you lose 50 pounds in five days. these are the inventors of the tv dinner! americans won't even gram unless independents insta. i understand the impulse we just want to get revenge. i get it. that's anger. that's one of the stages of grief most people go through if they're normal. in the last few days, we've seen not everyone is normal, and most of them are running for office.

you see, for some politicians, they don't go through the five stages -- denial, anger, bargaining, um, anger, and the department of commerce. for example, politician grieving stage one -- use the tragedy as an excuse to say what you would have said anyway. >> you can say what you want, but if they had guns, if our people had guns, if they were allowed to carry, it would have been a much, much different situation. >> trevor: what?! why is your answer always more guns? it's like saying let's dig our way out of this hole with more holes. (laughter) sorry the last transformers movie sucked. here, we'll fix it with another one! it doesn't work that way! once you've worked through the

first, then you can move to the next stage of political grief -- break out the nazi comparisons. >> secretary clinton did not want to use the word radical islam. your response. >> i don't understand it. it's like saying we weren't at war with the nazis because it mayo fend some germans who were members to have the nazi party but not violent themselves. >> trevor: not exactly the same thing because islam is a religion and it's open for violent and peaceful interpretation, like our peaceful christianity with encompass both the spanish inquisition and the little old laity in church talking about her at tha cat's diabetes medic- torture either way. but marco rubio to say non-violent radical muslims is the same as non-violent nazis is not correct. the nazis knew what they were getting into it. it's not like the majority were

in it for non-fascist reasons -- i'm all in it for the boots but the violent stuff is totally not cool, ya! (applause) you see, what's happening is some democrats, for instance hillary clinton, think it's unwise to use the term radical islam to describe the terrorists. because of that somerooms, for instance most of them, are air causing democrats of not genuinely wanting to defeat i.s.i.s. >> they're more interested in protecting the image of islam than americans. tucker, if these were militant methodists, extreme episcopalians, bad boy baptists, do you think we would be afraid to say that? >> trevor: no, we would not be afraid to say that because bad boy baptists is an awful name for a terrorist group. (laughter) but... a great name for your christian

soul rock one-man bass-only album! yeah, yeah! my personal favorite -- track three, "blessed are the funky." (laughter) but according to mike huckabee, we need to recognize our desperate situation. >> the ones who are ready to cut our heads off, the ones who are blowing up people in paris and all over the world, it just happens they're all radical muslims. we better wake up and smell the falafel. (audience reacts) >> trevor: now, there are a few things wrong with that statement. (laughter) number one, falafel is not a breakfast food. number two, it doesn't really smell like anything. and number three, the racism. i really should have led with the racism, i know. (applause)

then there is the final stage of political grief -- you focus on how to handle the tide of refugees fleeing syria and i.s.i.s. this stage is known as "just say something really (bleep) crazy." >> if we displace people used to a desert climate living in the middle east, speaking a language not common to america and essentially living in a culture and amidst a religion that is not that common here, we really are creating a disruption. if we're serious about wanting to protect them, then let's do it in a climate with a language, with the culture and the religion they're more comfortable with. >> trevor: you know, mike huckabee makes a good point. can you imagine if people started coming to america from all over the world, bringing their different languages, cultures and religions, mixing and changing the culture that's already here till it becomes something totally new, what kind of country would this be?! but you know what, mike huckabee, i understand you as someone whose family has been here for generations as a -- i

guess a native american, you can say. i could see why this idea would frighten you. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) other wireless carriers make families share data. some way to say happy holidays. switch to t-mobile now and get 4 lines with up to 6gb each, and no sharing. just $30 bucks a line. that's 6gb each plus unlimited streaming with binge on. stream netflix, hbo now, hulu, and many more without using data. get 6gb each just $30 bucks a line, plus free video streaming. ditch your data worries with t-mobile.

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america should accept syrian refugees but a group of leaders are waiting to take action. >> more than two dozen governors are saying the refugees are not welcome in their states. >> governors from texas, michigan an and elsewhere have crowd vowed to bar refugees from entering their states citing security risks. >> it is my responsibility as the governor of alabama to make sure the people of alabama are safe and secure. >> trevor: that's right, alabama will not let syrians come here and kill americans. that's what waffle house is for. (applause) here's the funny thing... the governors don't have the legal authority from stopping frfgz set thing in their states which is exactly what enabled them to act all tough toward the refugees. it's a like who's like, oh, man! i would be kicking out all these refugees! if the federal government wasn't holding me back right now, i swear to god i would! to be fair, the f.b.i. said that because to have the chaos in syria. there is no basis to check the

backgrounds of the syrian refugees so the states kerns are not unfounded though alabama governor might be jumping the gun a bit. >> alabama governor saying he will not accept any syrian refugees. >> trevor: what? alabama will not accept any syrian refugees? the question is, how many syrian refugees are in alabama? >> no syrian refugees so far have located to alabama to date. >> trevor: that has to hurt, alabama. alabama's basically the ugly guy at the club pointing out all the girls he's not going home with. not going home with her. not going home with her. not going home with her, but nobody's looking at you, alabama. for more on the syrian debate we go to roy wood, jr. in alabama tonight, everybody! (cheers and applause) roy, as an alabama native, can you make sense of these efforts? >> sure, trevor. the governor has to keep alabama safe, and if we can't tell who the bad refugees are, then we can't let any of them in!

>> trevor: but, roy, that's dangerous. isn't that like saying you can't trust all police just because there are a few bad ones? >> exactly, trevor! now you're getting it! >> trevor: no, roy, i wasn't agreeing with you. >> i hear you, trevor, all cops are bad! (laughter) anyway, here's the thing, man, alabama knows we're eventually going to have to let these refugees in. we just need time to make the state ready for them. >> trevor: this is not about not wanting people, it's about hospitality? >> that's right. alabama takes hospitality seriously. strangers should expect a warm glass of cornbread, a glass of sweet tea to dip it in and a heaping helping of racism. >> trevor: i'm sorry, did you say racism? so you don't want the refugees? >> no, we just don't know how to hate 'em yet. (laughter) look, the syrians deserve the full alabama experience. so we need some time to figure out their racism!

do you know how long it took alabama to come up with the intricate laws that now undermine black voters? oppression is like good barbecue -- if refugees can just hold out a little while longer, we'll have some racism ready for them that will fall right off the bone! whoo! (applause) they gonna be, like, bam! that's some good county fair blue ribbon barbecue! >> trevor: you don't have to tell me about racism, i'm from south africa, man. >> that's why you should know. apartheid didn't happen overnight! that sat in the smoker for 50 years! do you know what it did after that? >> trevor: it fell off the bone. >> it fell off the bone! damn right! >> trevor: you're saying at some point, the governor of alabama is going to let these people come in? >> absolutely. i wouldn't be shocked if he already put together a racism task force to build an infrastructure custom fit for the syrian experience.

>> trevor: i don't understand, like syrian only water fountains? >> that's the thing -- we don't even know if they drink water! we're trying to read up on it but we're 47th in reading! it's too slow! we don't even have a racial slur for syrians yet! what do you call them? syriaites? serials? hey, siris? >> how can i help you, roy? damn it, siri! what did i tell you? >> you told me to find an herbal cure for gonorrhea. (laughter) >> cancel, cancel! >> trevor: okay, roy, surely you don't agree with what's happening in alabama. >> i don't agree with it. i just answer it. the governor doesn't speak for everyone in the state. i'm from birmingham and i can tell you firsthand alabama is full of good people who want to live in a place with solid values where neighbors treat

each other right. that's why they moved to atlanta. (laughter) >> trevor: they moved to atlanta, georgia? >> that's a great idea, trevor! that's where the refugees should go. there is strip clubs, football, the syrians would have a blast! go to atlanta you siris! >> mapping to atlanta... oh, shut up! i'm switching to andr

♪ ♪

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♪ not much has changed except... thit feels different. now you press lightly to peek... and deeper to pop. it changes how easily you can peek a flight. check a post... search for dinner... oh, you guys are gonna love that place! you can find a getaway easier... yeah, go there! and find music easier... wait, are you listening to your own song? jamie foxx: no, i was... uh, hello? so pretty much everything you do feels different. and... that's what's changed. ♪

we need to be ready for my name's scott strenfel and r i'm a meteorologist at pg&e. we make sure that our crews as well as our customers are prepared to how weather may impact their energy. so every single day we're monitoring the weather, and when storm events arise our forecast get crews out ahead of the storm to minimize any outages. during storm season we want our customers to be ready and stay safe. learn how you can be prepared at pge.com/beprepared. together, we're building a better california. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back. my guest tonight is a grammy-award-winning producer whose new memoir is called "the emperor of sound." please welcome timbaland. ♪ (cheers and applause)

oh, thank you so much. >> thank you. >> trevor: the emperor. yes, let me sit like an emperor. >> trevor: you look like an emperor. >> yeah. >> trevor: look like you've conquered. >> all the little jokes (laughter) >> trevor: i'm going to take a second because i believe there are some people who are fans of yours and don't even know. this is just reading through it is insane. so you are the man that was behind genuine pony, missy rain, jump through timberland and ma goo. justin timberlake. cry me a river, 60 befnlgt what goes around comes around. plenty of experience. jay-z pimping. promiscuous, madonna. one republic, apologize and worked with drake, beyonce, usher, lil' kim, snoop dogg, everybody!

(cheers and applause) which begs the question, who do you listen to? >> oh, i listen to all my kids. (laughter) no, i listen now to salina gomez. >> trevor: oh, yeah? oh, look at that. >> she pretty cold... (laughter) i like her. i like her swag now. >> trevor: she has a lot of swag. she was at the victoria's secret show and had a lot of swag on the runway -- (singing) >> yeah, pretty cool. >> trevor: let's talk about the book. a lot of people don't think of timbaland as a guy to -- i would think of you making a musical but a book first is interesting. >> notice how he made a pitch. he just gave me an idea. >> trevor: it's about your life, how you got into the music business, where you went and how you got to this place. let's start at the beginning.

you were always in some music. your dad was not so into music. >> he was not but he was. like i feel like he had a love-hate for it. maybe because i made it and he didn't. but he loved me, though. >> trevor: you picked that up in the book, but what was fascinating to me is the fact he said the line. that's the famous line i think everyone should stay away from is, you need to quit this because this is not going to make you money, you need to go and focus on your school. do you ever just do this to your dad sometimes? do you ever -- (laughter) >> i'm so guilty. (laughter) yeah. yeah, like a puppy. >> trevor: yeah, you've gone from really humble beginnings. a lot of people think you -- in fact, i thought this before i read the book -- that you put

missy elliott on only to find -- >> you know a woman is stronger than a man. (cheers and applause) she put me on. you see, i wouldn't have got in no rain suit. >> trevor: yeah. she did. >> trevor: no, but now you've created this empire, this world around you. i mean, it's funny, i say the word "empire" because you have gone and transcended from just music on the radio to producing the music in arguably the biggest show people have seen in a long time and that is empire. >> yeah. (cheers and applause) yeah. >> trevor: when you're making the music for the show, how do you get into that? everything feels like timbaland. how do you get into that space? >> first, it was a little uneasy because it was different. like it's a new job, so what i have to do is really take the artist's hat off and put on the

executive hat. that took me a little transition, so i want to credit fox for that because fox really walked me through how the procedures go -- no, tim, don't do this -- and i was very -- it felt like school. so once i learned the logistics, that's when i crank them out and i can get into my zone. first, i have to learn how it works, because it didn't register because i just do music by feeling. >> trevor: because you think in music. one of the funniest stories i read in the book was you talking about playing -- you would play the pots and pans in the kitchen and you would hear music which a lot of kids can say they did but you would hear music, which made me wonder, when you were getting a spanking, could you hear the beat of that? was it like a pop! pop! >> let me tell -- that's a good one! this is my dad... didn't -- i -- tell -- you --

to -- not -- (cheers and applause) (laughter) you know, black parents always talk to you while -- while they beat you like didn't -- i -- tell -- you -- not -- to -- and i'm, like, isn't that a song, dad? >> trevor: you were feeling the pain in beats. >> if i could go back in time and record i would be, like, dad, we made a song! (laughter) >> trevor: it's amazing. if you love music, the man, the story, "the emperor of sound" is in stores now. ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only timbaland! (cheers and applause) ♪ [wind blowing]

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (cheers and applause) >> trevor: that's our show. stay tuned for "the nightly show." now here it is... your moment of zen. >> do you think you really understand this enemy enough to defeat them and protect the homeland? >> all right, so this is another variation on the same question, and i guess let me try it one last time...

♪ tonightly, 30 u.s. stase are refiewsing to admit syrian refugees including alabama and georgia. on the bright side for syrian refugees they won't be subjected to alabama or georgia. ( laughter ) sorry. u.s. college campuses are hit with a rash of racially charged student protests. the good news is that's a lot better than the rash that usually hits college campuses. ( laughter ) keep it at 100. and we ask the question, "are some campus protests more meaningful than others? i'm talking to you "mario kart lives matter." this is "the nightly show," let's do it. captioning sponsored by comedy central