daily show"! thank you so much. i'm trevor noah. we've got a great show tonight, but first, i've got to tell you guys, i'm a little upset. last night, i settled in on my couch, turned on my d.v.r. to check out one of my favorite shows, quantico, my new favorite show about domestic terrorism in america. but right before my show ended, my recording stopped 15 minutes early -- and it turns out, the reason it happened was because some guy wanted to talk about real domestic terrorism. >> the president's first oval office address in about five years. he spoke for about 15 minutes last night. >> president obama called the san bernardino massacre an act of terrorism. >> president obama interrupting all programming on major networks tonight -- >> a sunday night when everybody has their favorite tv shows on -- >> trevor: yeah! what kind of president addresses the nation when everyone is

watching tv?! (laughter) what are you, an effective communicator or something?! everything got delayed because to have the president. they even had to hold back the football game on tv. no, they literally had to hold them back. 8:00 smash time! no! the president needs to talk! no, smash! (laughter) now, the president called the police to discuss the san bernardino shooting last wednesday and to tell us how he plans to keep everybody safe from further domestic terrorism. so, mr. president, the sunday night lineup is yours. >> the threat from terrorism is real, but we will overcome it. we will destroy i.s.i.l and any other organization that tries to harm us. in iraq and syria airstrikes are taking out i.s.i.l leaders -- heavy weapons, oil tankers, infrastructure. in both countries we're deploying special operations

forces who can accelerate thato offensive. we're working with friends and allies to stop i.s.i.l's operations. >> trevor: i know first of all, some people at home are going, who the hell is i.s.i.l? isn't it i.s.i.s.? (laughter) so, basically, president obama wanted to affirm that we should come together to fight i.s.i.s. you know what, i'm not going to lie. i was a little underwhemed about the speech, because the last time obama interrupted us on sunday night was to tell everybody he had killed bin laden. yeah, so i was hoping for a little more excitement, you know. i was hoping that maybe he was going to come out and tell us he was actually born in indonesia but it's too late now, bitches! [ applause ] (laughter) so office little underwhemed. turns out, i'm not the only disappointed person. >> look, mr. president. we're not afraid! we're angry! pissed off:00! furious! we want you to react! we want you to do something!

you're afraid! i mean, this guy is such a total pussy, it's stunning! (laughter) >> trevor: this is one of those moments where i wish the guy was in the same room as the president. lav laugh i could just picture obama at that moment going, why don't, uh, we, uh, take this outside? why don't we, uh -- i really don't understand why calling someone a puss isy an insult, i've never understood this, because vaginas are such strong, powerful things. humans come out of vaginas and they're still working. they're instructible! you just sit on a penis wrong and it breaks. you say someone's a dick and -- sorry, i get carried away by this. by the way, he's an asshole. so president obama had to make is a speech to address the san bernardino shooting and the national conversation that followed. really the whole nation and a lot of the world has been

gripped by the story. who were the killers? why did they do it? what are their links to terrorism? can we stop people like them? those are the questions normal people ask. however, if you're a news organization like msnbc, you ask, can we get into their house now? >> the owner of the apartment had his apartment here released to him by the f.b.i., and he's currently at the front door where it was sealed up with wood and he's got some crowbars. let's see if we can step in. as we step in, we see what it looks like. unfortunately, there appears to be a little bit of a pushing and shoving, which i'm not sure we need to do. but as we step inside, we'll take a look and see what we have. >> trevor: oh, really, the pushing and the shoving is not sure what you need to do? really? i'm still learning the news networks here, but is it supposed to be like the movie "nightcrawler"? is that what supposed to be happening? you know where jake jake runs into crime scenes to get pictures of dead bodies? because i think msnbc took that

movie as an instructionable video. when the landlord let them in, they didn't know what they were looking for, they burst in and rummaged around like an episode of storage wars. >> let's go to november to see if anything of importance was marked on the calendar. nothing there. it's just sort of a typical sort of calendar. >> trevor: mmm... let's see what's on this calendar. mmm, ah, what did you think you would find on that calendar, a little x saying murder my co-workers? what? go to dentist if still alive. is that what you're going to find? while they were inside, msnbc left no irrelevant mundane stone unturned. >> here's a computer. as you can see, the hard drive is gone -- so we have an lg monitor. we have a check from chaste to sayed farook for $7.98. >> trevor: wow, worst product

placement ever. (laughter) [ applause ] i wish i could say it was harmless bad journalism, before they decided to air personal photos about the families. >> here'ns i.d. so california i.d. let me look at it first, okay. (bleep), (bleep), (bleep). that looks like somebody's ninth birthday party there. >> let's make sure we don't -- let's -- >> okay, here's a picture of the child. >> let's not show the child, kerry. let's get away from that. >> this is probably not her because it says (bleep) on the back. >> trevor: no, it's fine. it's just some other totally

innocent muslim child tangentally connected to this against her will, so this is fine. yeah, and here's her name and picture. so maybe they doxed the mom on national tv. that's all right. >> the owner mr. miller permitted this press tour of the family. the f.b.i. cleared all the useful evidence out. >> exactly, and he's given us permission to come in and touch this stuff so it's not as if i'm touching things i shouldn't be touching (audience reacts) >> trevor: wait... the phish already took anything you would be interested in, so you just broadcasted unnecessary personal information on live tv, knowing there was really no news value involved. so i guess, technically, you're wrong. there is one thing you shouldent have been touching -- and that's the record button on your camera. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) do you know the secret to a happy home in these modern times?

it's a housewife who's in control of the finances. actually, any wife, husband, or human person can use progressive's name your price tool to take control of their budget. and while the men do the hard work of making money, she can get all the car insurance options her little heart desires. or the women might do the hard work of making money. [ chuckling ] women don't have jobs. is this guy for real? modernizing car insurance with -- that's enough out of you! the name your price tool, only from progressive. where is your husband? get on down. the name your price tool, so there's two chairsore roome. at theright there.ble. i know right? a piece of advice step up your style, it's the holidays. they look amazing. they do look much nicer than us. look how much fun they're having! what are you talking about? me? they can't hear you. janice! dave! david! tony! guys. what? there's this huge holiday sale going on at old navy. the entire store is up to 60% off.

get some new clothes, bam, you're in. lets go now. you are a holiday miracle. thought i told you to stay off our turf. and what would you know about turf, skipper? let's end this here and now! let's dance! flo: whoa there! progressive covers boaand rvs, okay? plenty of policies to go around. [ grunts ] oh, oh, i'm the bad guy?

you threw a fish at us, so, yeah. yeah. coverage for land and sea. now, that's progressive. oof, i'm stuffed. might pop a button. i would eat it. mom, can you pass the coffee-mate gingerbread flavor? absolutely! she's beautiful. coffee-mate's seasonal flavors are here. including new gingerbread.

(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! in the reptile kingdom, iguanas are king. but the big question is, do they have -- (cheers and applause) i'm sorry, sir. are you lost? >> no, trevor, wait! it's me! trevor! it's me! >> trevor: papa?! no!

(laughter) it's me! >> trevor: it's jon stewart, everybody! (cheers and applause) oh, wow! oh, wow! it's jon stewart! (cheers and applause) oh! i can't believe it! this is awesome! oh, wait, wait, wait -- (bleep). are you here to take the show back? >> oh, man, i heard about this in american tv! are you taking the show back? >> no, trust me! trust me! a thousand times no! actually, i have this issue, i care about it very deeply and i was wondering, i want to get attention paid to it, but i was realizing i don't have a show, and nobody gives a (bleep) anymore. so i thought, you have a show, and maybe i could come and -- >> trevor: hey... i'm here for you, jon. my show is your show, my friend. >> oh! >> trevor: yeah! (cheers and applause)

what do do you need? >> let me just -- >> trevor: no, i'm not gonna -- >> i understand. that's good. so back in 2010, okay, after far more lobbying than should have ever been necessary, congress passed what was called the zadroga act, healthcare for 9/11 first responders after the government told them it was safe but it gave them cancer. >> trevor: so had to celebrate the an versus ri. >> no, they funded the act five years. they wanted to make sure the program wouldn't have people who would try to cheat it and you could scientifically prove a link between the responders horrible diseases and toxic air they were breathing day in and day out working at ground zero. >> trevor: and you're here because they couldn't prove the link? >> no, they proved the link. >> trevor: i see, but there was a lot of fraud. >> there was no fraud. >> trevor: so no reason to not

renew it permanently. >> you're not from around here, are you? of course there was no reason not to renew it permanently, but they did not renew it win anywa! it expired in september, soon to be out of money, many first responders, sick with cancer, pulmonary disease, had to travel at their expense to washington, d.c. hundreds of times to plead for our government to do the right thing. >> trevor: you're here to tell us once congress saw the first responders, obviously, their renewed vigor came in, they renewed the healthcare funding and made it permanent, right? that's what you're saying, right? >> you're not from around here... (whispering) they have not done that. >> trevor: that doesn't make sense, jon stewart! >> i know! the only conclusion i can draw is that the people of congress are not as good a people as the people who are first responders.

>> trevor: oh, well, jon -- (cheers and applause) -- i don't know... >> that's what i think. >> trevor: i don't know, john, you can't say that because how would you know? >> last week, i had the distinct honor of accompanying some of these heros on one of their many trips down to the capitol to see how in god's name this is in any way a continue verse oral contrr non-priority issue. it's easy to take our congress for granted but seeing it first hand is truly humbling. i'm sheer in the russell building to witness the majesty of our nation's legislative process. the beauty, compassion, intelligence -- i'm just (bleep) you. i'm here to see if shame works, the emotion you might have if you were a senator who said we would not forget our heros but did by not extending this bill.

we're going to stop in to rand paul's office. is he in? >> i don't know, there may have been a briefing. >> we were wondering if senator johnson is home. >> i'm not sure. let me check. >> trick or treat, anybody we could speak to about the 9/11 responder's bill senator portman has yet to support? is there? one who it would be appropriate to be upset with? >> yes, sir, i would be happy to check for you if you -- >> thank you so much, i really appreciate it. >> who can i give this to? who can i follow up with? >> i appreciate it. yeah, so actually we can't record inside the office. if we could step outside. >> we can record out in the hallway? why is that you can't record in the office, is it acoustics? >> i believe he's at a committee meeting. >> the bill has been taken out and we're lost again and these are -- these guys are all dying

so we would like to stop that. >> no, i totally understand. you don't want it in the shame chamber, you want it in the shame hallway. >> here's my card. we would love to set up a time with you on camera. >> they're like in many ways meerkats or prairie dogs but if they sense danger, boom, right back into the hole. if we need to wait here until he's ready, i'm happy to do that. i don't know if you know this, i don't really have a life anymore. i'm unemployed now, so i'm really available all day. >> okay. and i have your card, so i'll get back to our scheduler as well. >> didn't know this country was known for cranberries. >> number one cranberry producer in the state, yeah. >> some people got meetings. who are you? >> new energy. see you guys. passing this act seems like a no

brainer! let me ask you a question. all right, let's see there was a monster under your bed or in your closet and you were scared of the monster and people came in, very helpful people, first responders to the monster situation, and they helped get rid of the monster, clean up after the monster for months but because they got monster juice on them, got sick. would you help those people? >> yes. no. hold on one second. no? you would be a good congress person. would you guys take care of the people? >> yes. it seems obvious. so what i would say is this is our senator mcconnell -- you be senator mcconnell in this -- and you would be, uh, normal human people. you know what? thank you you guys for listening. what time is snack? soon? we caught up with senator portman on his way from voting to make sure people on the terrorist watch list could still

buy guns. >> we'll let them know i support it. the question is how to pay for it. >> you know you can find money when you want. so that pay for it stuff really doesn't reach -- it's not passing the litmus test with me at all. >> that night, senator portman of ohio signed on to the bill. maybe shame does work. if it doesn't, maybe we should follow around mitch mcconnell making this face at him. ... >> trevor: back with more from >> trevor: back with more from jon ono off-days, or downtime.ason. opportunity is everything you make of it. this winter, take advantage of our season's best offers on the latest generation of cadillacs. the 2016 cadillac srx. get this low-mileage lease from around $339 per month,

or purchase with 0% apr financing.

(cheers and applause) >> trevor: i get to say this one time and one time only -- welcome back to "the daily show" with trevor noah with jon stewart! (cheers and applause) this guy is here. so just to bring you up to speed, today we're talking about the zadroga reauthorization act which gives permanent healthcare to first responders injured

through their work at ground zero. sounds like a no-brainer. jon, what's holding it up now? >> no brains. there are more than enough senators and representatives who support this to do it. it comes down to the speaker of the house paul ryan of wisconsin. right now as we speak, the house is still trying to pull money out of the healthcare portion of this bill. i believe when push comes to shove paul ryan is going to do the right thing because ultimately he is still human. (laughter) then there's dr. doom! you could say that. senate majority leader mitch mcconnell. he is the key to getting this done and so far he has been an enormous obstacle, unwilling to move the bill forward for purely political reasons. >> trevor: yeah, but, jon, to

pure it's purely political, you would have to have a video of mcconnell supporting or even sponsoring a similar bill granting permanent healthcare for national security-related workers who happen to live in his home state. >> that's a brilliant idea, trevor! roll 212. >> during the cold war, workers at paducah's gas diffusion plant are patriots who did some of the most dangerous work. >> we found out along the way it was more dangerous than we were made aware of. >> exposure to radiation was making some workers sick. they needed help. >> senator income connell took it on his own to do so much for these people who did so much for the country. the programs wouldn't be here without him. >> i'm mitch mcconnell, i approve this message. >> trevor: this is (bleep) crazy! >> that is correct. and if you're looking for more direct parallels, it gets worse. >> we created the energy employees occupational illness compensation program to ensure

that our nation's nuclear workers finally now get the attention they deserve from their government. medical screening is available to all paducah workers so that they may be tested and treated for any illness they contract as a result of working at the plant. >> and rightfully so. and that bill cost more than what the 9/11 first responders are asking for, more. so this clearly isn't about mitch mcconnell's objections to permanent healthcare programs for heroic workers. >> trevor: so the question is what is it? >> here's what i believe it is -- senator niche niche -- seh mcconnell doesn't give a (bleep) about anything but politics. the first responders of the act were told it would be included in the transportation bill passed last week. mitch mcconnell of kentucky pulled it out of the transportation bill when he didn't get concessions about loosening oil export regulations. >> trevor: so he used the health of 9/11 first responders

as a bargaining chip to make it easier to sell oil? >> yes, trevor. he's not nice! (laughter) so i don't know what else to do to make sure this bill happens. we don't know what else to do! >> trevor: well, you know, jon, back in 2010, didn't this very show have a panel of first responders that helped get the zadroga act passed? >> yes, hearing from a panel of first responders firsthand who were struggling with their health was undeniably powerful. it was a wonderful thing to hear from them personally. >> trevor: there is your answer. why don't we get that panel back together again? >> that's amazing! that's exactly! let's do this! let's do this! let's get it back! (cheers and applause) hey, kenny. >> hey, jon. kenny spect, everybody. (applause)

just out of curiosity, where is everybody? >> just you and i. five and a half years ago we did a show. 75% of the panel is no longer here. two of the people have illnesses and, obviously, by law, i can't comment on how sick they are and john devlin, who sat at the last chair, an operating engineer, passed away since our show. so i think we brought the statistics to show that, when we did the show five and a half years ago, four men sat here. it's just you and i. >> this is the reality of people's lives that are affected by this. and even the idea that you had to come here five and a half years ago to plead your case on national television to get this done was insulting and embarrassing for us as a nation. >> well, you know, jon, we did your show five and a half years ago, you stepped up, and you asked what you could do to help us. five and a half years ago, we didn't have the votes to get the

act passed the first time. because of your show, we were able to get it through at the last minute, right before the holidays, almost the same time of year as we have right now. now we're back five and a half years later, not because we don't have the votes, because you put the numbers up, 67 senators, 260 members of the house, we're back, we have the votes and now we don't have the people that want to do what's necessary to either vote for it as a straight up and down bill or put it on as aan attachment. so they keep moving the goalpost and telling us there is things we have to do and when we do it, it's not enough. >> the paid for thing drives me nuts. they have paid for it with the lives of their friends and health. if i hear one more of these guys talk about a pay-for, it's going to make me incaisson. but you got to meet with mcconnell for a little time. >> i did. my team with us tonight.

(applause) we were able to meet with mitch mcconnell the four of us last week. we got pats on the back and told by so many people how difficult it is and how happy we should be that we got to meet with an elected official in the united states. >> right, right. exactly. well, anyway, we met with mitch mcconnell, and mitch mcconnell gave us his word that he's going to attach us to the omnibus bill and he's going to fully fund and permanently extend the zadroga healthcare act. that's what he told us. so as this bill comes up this week, we're going to keep him to his word, and this show is doing that, part of it. >> let's keep him to it. people forget, with all this talk about terrorism and from the world trade center to san bernardino, the one common link to all this is the first people on the scene were first

responders. so i don't want to hear about what we're all concerned about terrorism now and things going on. this is the legacy, you guys. what message does it send to our first responders if, once we're done as a nation with them helping us, that we forget about them? that's unacceptable to me. >> you're right. it's unacceptable to tweet and post on facebook around the anniversary of september 11th september 11th that we'll never forget and it's unforgivable to do this on the backs of the first responders. we need your help. >> it doesents work when we go or bring cameras down there. it's all politics. local kentucky, it's up to you. i would like you right now, write your congressman, mitch mcconnell, a letter -- >> trevor: jon. -- pen a letter -- >> trevor: jon, no one really writes letters anymore. >> you're exactly right. a sharply-worded editorial in

your local newspaper -- >> trevor: jon, people don't read the newspaper. >> get out your phone, dial your congressman, klondike 5 -- >> trevor: just tell the people to use social media. >> oh, great! something catchy like this, end the (bleep)-ry! end the (bleep)-ry! end it! >> trevor: or a hashtag people can use. >> how about -- hashtag worst responders! get online and tell mitch mcconnell and paul ryan and congress do the right thing, pass the zadroga reauthorization act. >> trevor: hashtag worst responders! we'll be right back! we'll be right back! oh no... (under his breath) hey man! hey peter. (unenthusiastic) oh... ha ha ha!