>> trevor: tonight, what do you get when you mix a tearful president, some air jordans and pickup line, tonight's episode, i'm trevor noah, and this is "the daily show." >> january 6th, 2016. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody. sit down, sit down, thank you so much. i'm trevor noah. our guests tonightk i'm really excited about this. you know how in game of thrones they make up all those languagesk right? well, the guy on the show today, he actually makes them up. author of the art of language invention, david j peterson is here, everybody. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: yeah! yeah. and what a day it's been.

did you see north korea, they fought. this but we don't know what it is because they said there was a bomb, north korea, a hydrogen bomb and then the world is like no, it's not a hydrogen bomb. we don't know. that is the weird thing with north korea. it's almost like they are a really spoiled brat in their room and the rest of the world just has to guess. what are you doing in there? what are you doing? >> i'm going to check. >> no, just leave him, just leave him. he's just being a teenager. >> but in our main story, we talk about something we never get to talk about. guns. pointy pointy bang bang sticks. (laughter) in 2014 the united states saw a huge number of reported gun deaths. 33,599 to be exact. to put that into perspective, that is the entire population of monday ahmad owe.-- monaco, a place where people only die of gout andrew let injuries. -- and rulity injuries, i don't

even know what that injury is. i want 10,000 dollars and a guy who died on red. the point is deses might the death toll and even though 889-- 89% of americans support universal background check, not much progress has bng made passing laws to restrict access to guns. and fa nirness to american legislators, it's because they've been really busy loosening gun laws. you see, you can't do two things at once. now every time president obama has tried to enact gun control measures, he has seen his proposals disappear before his eyes which i can only imagine must be really frustrating. at times even bewilledderring. the best way i can describe it is using this little video over here. you see, look at this raccoon. and imagine that this raccoon, is the president of the united states. now imagine the delicious cotton candy between his furry paws is the president's best efforts to pass common sense gun regulations. and the water is the american

political process. good luck, mr. president. (laughter) poor raccoon obama. you can almost see the confusion on his face, look i done know what happened. what happened to the gun control i will in my hand. i don't know what happened. so all of this is what brought us to the big news yet. approximated obama announced he was going to go around congress and do something about gun violence with executive action. which is great. because something will get done finally. and also because executive action sounds pretty cool. (laughter) it does, it sounds like obama's finishing move in the wrestling ring, you know. it's time for the executive action! and then he just pounds mitch mcconnell through the center floor. >> it's the executive action! and what obama said was so

crazy, it ripped a hole in the time space continue yum. and it made people angry before he even said what he was going to say. >> republican white house hopefuls condemned the president's actions even before the details were released. >> this is a total ruse. this is class you can obama. >> it's not constitutional. >> his first impulse always is to take rights away from law-abiding citizens. >> well, he can abuse his power all he wants. he has a phone. an he has a pen. but if you live by the pen, you die by the pen. and my pen has got an "eraser". >> trevor: i think the amazing pen you're describing is a pencil. but if you are looking for a new pen, ted cruz, then you got to check out the great deals that they offer on the website pen island. you won't believe what they've got there. everyone else, who is not ted cruz, please don't go to the website pen island.

no, it will crash your computer and destroy it forever. do not go to that website. mr. cruz, again, that website, pen island. (laughter) now the thing that amazes me about this whole situation about how all those people knew that they opposed obama's gun control plans before they even heard them. they can see into the future. so like those prekogs on minority reports. i want to hear what obama actually said. >> i want to be absolutely clear at the start. i believe in the second amendment. it's there written on the paper. it guarantees a right to bear arms. no matter how many times people try to twist my words around, on i taught constitutional law. i know a little bit about this. >> trevor: okay. little bit koky but we get it,

we get it, he knows the second amendment exists and that's a good start for everyone. and obama's speech wasn't just jokes. if it was just jokes, that would be weird. the president also laid out his actual plans. >> number one, anybody in the bises of selling fire arms must get a license and conduct background checks. number two, we're going to do everything we can to insure the smart and effective enforcement of gun safety laws that are already on the books. number three, we're going to do more to help those suffering from mental illness. number four, we're going to boost gun safety technology. >> trevor: interesting ideas. and the final one, boosting gun safety technology. it's a great idea for the president. a horrible idea for a call of duty upgrade. >> yes, i just unlocked the safety technology upgrade. two week safety course. all right, guys, see you in two weeks. so the president proposing some very, very basic ideas to

cur gun violence. but for many what was most notable about the speech sbtd what he said but how he said it. >> our enall evennable rights to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, those rights were stripped from college kids in santa barbara and high schoolers at cul up bien, and from first graders in newtown. first graders. and from every family who never imagined that their loved one would be taken from our lives by a bullet from a gun.

>> trevor: see that thing you're feeling right now? that pain in your chest, that comes from watching someone weep on national television, because he knows that society can do better than to file the shooting of children under [bleep] happens. that feeling? is how you know that you are human. no matter how opposed to obama's policies some people may be or how cynical their politics, they have to at least acknowledge and respected real authenticity of that emotion. or so you would think. >> where was the wiping away of tears and the emotion after the paris attack. >> you can't pull that kind of passion for anything but this. and i feel bad about those kids in connecticut but it's only about this that he gets so upset about. and never about terror. >> he didn't cry after san bernardino, did he cry after that? >> no. >> i don't think he cried. did he cry after paris. >> i would check that podium for like a raw on yo or no more tarys. >> wow. >> it's not really believable. >> trevor: are you [bleep] kidding me?

shedding tears when you think of murdered children is not really believable? you know what, there is something here that's not really believable. the fact that the rest of us have to share the title of human being with you. we'll be right back. (cheers and

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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. tonight we have a special report from our own hasan minhaj on a topic close to his heart. hasan. >> trevor, over the past few years people around the world have been fighting for things

like human rights and equality. you know, boring stuff. here in america, we fight over sneakers. every week when niek drops a new pair of air jordans grown adults with me with loved ones and mortgages wait in line for days just to get their hands on a pair. air jordans, they're like high phones for your feet. one of the most anticipated releases was the air jordan 72 and 10, you hear about it all the time. people getting tramp eled and murdered for shoes like these. so i dove head first. >> the-- into the sneaker world. meet josh a guy without knows so much about shoes he literally runs the stock market for sneakers, which judging by the well placed logo on his shirt, is an actual thing. >> niek has a machine that has figured out how to have more people want shoes than can get them. they could produce more but they don't want to. that drives the line. that drives media. that drives in some cases riots.

everything building brand cache of owning air jordans. niek is a club, they want me standing outside of the club being like niek, niek. (laughter) >> is that a question? >> so if nike limited supply prevents people from buying air jordans, how are they supposed to get a pair? >> there is a secondary market for sneakers. that you can get any shoe that you missed out on at retail. >> look, this is just a fad, air jordans are going to run this course and this industry is going to die. >> no, the secondary market for sneakers in the united states is a $1.2 billion industry. >> holily [bleep]. >> $1.2 billion. in fact, nike resellers make more profit than nike nearest resell competitor. >> people sell more air jordans than scemps. a brand that did a shoe with kim

kardashian that made your butt look better. >> yes. >> i needed to see this insane market at work so i headed to where dealers were able to buy limited edition shoes before they sell out, flip them for ridiculous profit. >> how much are you telling those for. >> 750. >> what do they retail for. >> 1100. >> how much retail. >> 200. >> and adults are paying a thousand for water mock a sins. >> yes. >> let me see the product. >> that is real. that's real. >> how much are you selling these for. >> 2 thousand. >> what did poor decision did you make in live to be a 35 year old selling sneakers. >> i got a divorce. >> grown adults losing their mind for shoes that look like purple unicorn boots. >> why is it a big deal if i just do this to them? >> and when i started messing with these shoes, shees sneaker heads were acting like they were witnessnessing a crime. >> it's not a big deal. is this really that bad.

>> it is. >> come on. >> you got more than one pair. >> . >> dude! >> if i could make grown men cry by bending a pair of air jordans, imagine what i could do with the holy grail, the 72 and 10, i could rule the world. >> you got the 72 and 10. >> no. >> do you have a 72 & 10. >> not yet. >> do you have 72 and 10. >> no. >> the word on the street is the sneaker don has them. >> that's right, the sneaker world is so crazy, it has a freaking godfather. and just because he can get shoes that no one else k he hangs with hip-hop mega stars like chris brown, rick ross and dj keanl. i met up with him in miami to get the inside scoop. he told me exactly where to find the sneaker don yeah, you have heard of the sneaker don. >> yeah, that's mean.

>> i'm looking for the sneaker don. >> no, i'm the sneaker don. the sneaker don. >> okay, time out, the 1.2 billion dollar sneaker retailer market is dominated by a teenager who goes bit name benjamin kicks, with a freaking z. his warehouse has a million dollars worth of shoes in it. what the [bleep] am i doing with my life. how is it possible that are you the sneaker don? >> before you answer that, he is a minor. >> perfect, thank you. >> your balls haven't even dropped yet and you are the pablo escobar of sneakers? >> i am. >> do you have the 2 & 10. >> y. >> he sneaks russian too. look, this godfather should be doing his homework, not flipping shoes. >> how much? >> 450. >> you got to be kidding. >> come on. that is more than double. >> do you want the shoe or not? >> yes, the 27 & 10s look cool. but if i buy these shoes, i'm

just perpetuating the sneaker insanity. this is an easy decision. okay, you got me. i'm a grown man buying sneakers from a child. but as i stood there looking at myself, i realized i look dope. and i had to cop another one. (applause) hasan minhaj, everyone, we'll be right back. 7 (air horn, trap door opening) rootmetrics, in the nation's largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. verizon won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. at+t got thirty-eight, sprint got two, and t mobile got zero. verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. at+t got text. stuck on an average network? join verizon and we'll cover your costs to switch.

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(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the language creator who has invented languages for several tv shows including game of thrones. his new book is called "the art of language invention" please welcome david j peterson. (applause) thank you for being here, sir or

should i say-- . >> new york is solar-- (speaking language). >> that's d. >> trevor: that's what i learned. let's start at the beginning. you speak how many languages? >> i done know, depens on what are you talking about. but i have studied over 20. >> trevor: studied over 20 languages. the list that i have here, german, arabic, french, russian, middle egyptian. american sign language. hawaiian. a caddian, greek, modern creek. hindi, japanese, finnish. >> yeah. >> trevor: and then were you like you know what, this is not enough. i have to make up languages. >> yeah, you know, i started

creating languages when i was a freshman in college. and it kind of hit me while i was studying linguistics at uc berkeley. and i thought as we were looking at a lunch of different languages, i thought what if i did something like this in a language. and then basically i just started started in my note book started creating a language. i have yet to stop. >> trevor: how do you start creating a language. that is something i done even know, do you take an existing language, is it like i take english and then i'm like englisher, making. >> you can do that. you can do that. you can't:do anything. it depends on what your goal is with a language. when i started i didn't really have a goal in mind. i was just writing down a bunch of sounds i made up a script that looked vaguely like arabic because i was studying arabic at the time and really loved it it wasn't until later that i thought i was basically recoding the vocabulary of english with kind of a fancy gramar. so now what i do mainly is creating natural statistics

languages. what that means is you try to create a language that if a linguist found it somewhere here on earth, they wouldn't look at it and say wait a minute, that looks really, really fake. so what we try to do is create a history for the language. you create an older state of the language. involving grammar, the meaning, and produce something that looks kind of like a well-worn shoe. >> trevor: that say strange description for-- your language is like a well-worn shoe, my friend. you have tenses, you have to figure out the language making sense. some of the languages-- how do you come up with the game of thrones. i thought people were making sounds. i was like, that's verbatim, by the way. >> of course, of course. with that one, it was a little different project because they it created some words and phrases in the first three books so there was first a little bit

of discoveries. i had to go through, take down everything, see what the translations were, make sense of them, see if there was gram at kal systems inherent in them, and there was. and then i basically had to replicate that and build on it based on what was there. >> trevor: what language do you dream in? >> i have drement in a lot of languages. i remember the first time i drement in american sign language, that was different. i drement in spannish a lot. >> trevor: you dream in sign language. >> i even had a fake language in my dream. it was supposed to be a real language in the dream but it turned out it wasn't. i had an entire, like no, it's true. hi this dream where there was-- . >> trevor: it is the most fascinating thing ever. >> it was a sicilian language, i was a graduate student doing a little assignment on it, i was creating it for undergraduates and then when i woke up i realized, that is not even close to sicilian. i started writing down as much as i could remember before it was just gone. it was out there. >> trevor: have i done the same thing. i wake up and i have made a new

language. that happens to me all the time. so wait, so what is this book about, do you teach us how to make languages or just talk about the ent molg and history of languages. >> no, no, no. first i do go into the history of creative languages. because a lot of people don't know this but the first creative language, the first one we count was during the 12th century. and people have been creating languages that entire time. now there are thousands of people doing it all over the world just for fun. and so i introduced you to that. after that i go into my process, how i create a language, how you might do it, those things i have done, some of the shows i've worked on. >> trevor: i feel like you are an expert in this. what is the sexiest language in the world. like if were you to design it, what would the sexiest language be? is it really french, i done think it's french, french is like-- . >> the most fun thing about this is that you can take any language and make it sound sexy. you can take any language and make it sound totally unsexy.

like something-- how you say i love you. you can say the same thing, you know-- it doesn't sound so sexy any more. >> trevor: the game of thrones, that would be the worst thing ever t was really exciting, really fascinating. the awesome language invention is in book stores now, go out and get t david j peterson.

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>> trevor: that's our show, ladies and gentlemen, here it is, your moment of zen. >> there is a kol own inspired by vladimir putin in russia t is called leader number one

>> larry: tonightly. president obama goes around congress and lays out his executive orders on gun control. i don't even have a punchline here, i just want to say: finally! the new gun measures require that anyone who wants to sell guns must register as a licensed gun dealer. that's gonna disappoint a lot of kids on my block this summer. yup, president obama unveiled his