[horns honking] ♪ - the princess now giving the canadian medal of courage to ugly bob. and also to scott, who is, of course, a giant dick. and katook-took of the yukon. and the medal, of course, made of white chocolate, as is tradition. what a glorious day for canada, and therefore, the world. - the duke of calgary, standing up and putting on a fake beard-- a tradition passed down since the birth of canada. the princess now knighting sir ike broflovski. giving him three kisses and a pair of socks, as is tradition. - i mean, come on, guys, that's pretty cool, right? my little brother is a knight in canada. - my sister is a den leader in girl scouts. - my uncle's the second in line to be manager at gart brothers. - hmm, yeah. - and now the scraping off of the pudding. isn't she beautiful, scraping off the pudding with the grace of a butterfly. she rubs the pudding on her face. the prince now attempting to remove one of the princess' arms. as is, of course, the tradition.

the princess screaming with pain. everyone watching with anticipation. and the arm is off! things are back to normal here in canada. the time honored traditions are once again-- yes, the prince is sticking the princess' arm up his ass. there it goes. [cheers and applause] he's really making a good go of it. what a wonderful day for canada, and therefore, of course, the world. ♪ from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central . >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah. thank you so much, everybody. our guest tonight here is talk about her new hbo show "vinyl," olivia wilde, everybody. (applause) but let's get right into it. we all saw what happened last

night and i'm not going to lie, it blew my mind it blew my mind to think that that guy wants to be president. i mean between his ego, his devicive, purposefully inflammatory statements, it's insane that he still has supporters. honestly, i don't know what to say at this point. i just-- i mean i don't know what america is going to do about kayne west. (laughter) bill cosby innocent? are you kidding me, kayne? ima let you finish but bill cosby is one of the least innocent people of all time. now this blew upjohn line last night. and everyone is rushing to judge kayne. but maybe we should wait until the facts are in, you know, maybe this was a publicity stunt or maybe he was just really tired or maybe his phone was hacked. but bill cosby. (laughter) while kayne was sleeping. or, or, and this is my personal theory, maybe what happens is

when kayne west is online sometimes he confuses twitter with goggle. and so he's just googling things like bill cosby innocent? or weird pain cancer, question mark. or can directions be baby names? it could just be-- could this be one of those things. but we are getting ahead of ourselves. that is a 2020 election race. we don't have to speak about that for another nine months. so last night was all about 2016. and before we get to the winners, let's start with the favorite part,ed nonwinners. first up marco rubio, after a great showing in iowa, he dropped to a disastrous 5th place. how disastrous, behind jeb bush disastrous. >> we're still watching these numbers. we will see where it winds up. many people disappointed. i'm disappointed with tonight. i want to you understand something. i want you to understand something. our disappointment tonight is not on you.

it's on me. >> trevor: and everyone in the cloud is like yeah, we know. no one was saying it is on husband. we all know you [bleep] up. don't even-- don't even try that. the most enjoyable aspect of rubio's fail is that it was chris christie who took him down. because you remember, you remember in the debate, right, cristie slammed rube why for being a talking points robot. that was his play to get up in the polls am all it did was bring rubio down with him. like that guy in the movie who grabs someone, it's like aahhh. he's my hero. so now as it stands, christie has dropped out of the race, the rubio robot needs a reboot and then just this afternoon carly fiorina dropped out too. and, yeah, an i know some people-- (applause). >> trevor: i know, yeah, she ran a great race. thank you for that. and i know some people don't think that fiorina should have been allowed to term nature her

campaign after so many months, but i believe a woman has a right to choose, people. (applause) and you respect that right. you respect it. but last night new hampshire belonged to bernie sanders. and donald trump. oh, who each made history. because bernie sanders became the first jewish person to win a presidential primary while donald trump became the first pile of old garbage covered in vodka sauce to win a presidential primary. (applause) and you know what, before we carry on. let's take a second to acknowledge how far we've gone down the rabbit hole of absurdity. everyone was so dismissive of trump before this campaign started. you remember that, people were like come on, he's never going to run. what is he going to do. he's never going to run. then that turned into okay, he's winning but i mean he's never going to last, right.

now it's like okay, maybe they'll nominate him, maybe, but he's never going to win the presidency. i'm just saying a year from now, at this rate, we could all be thinking all right, sure, he's the president, but i mean he's never going to be on mount rushmore, right. he's never going to be-- he'll never-- (laughter) how can i put this into a way so people will understand. trump is like the human sin monday challenge. yeah, it's fun to much what, there is no question. but the more we encourage t the more people are eventually going to get hurt. and right now we're still encouraging it. >> u sa! uu sa! u sa! >> i wanted to congratulate the other can di dates, okay. candidates, okay, now that i got that over with. you know, it's always tough, and then tomorrow, boom, boom. but that's the way it is. >> trevor: so eloquent. boom boom.

that's the way it. i wish donald trump would just run an all sound effects campaign. and then after south carolina. awooga! then nevada boi-oi-oing! you know,ed genius of trump lies in the fact that he's not just rhetorical flashes. his most fundamental appeal is he is a businessman. and that means he knows his numbers. >> don't believe those phoney numbers when you hear 4.9 and 5% unemployment. the numbers probably 28, 29, as high as 35. in fact, i even heard recently 42%. >> trevor: actually it's 80, 90, no, it is 100 percent. 200 percent. everyone in this country has to get two jobs just to be unemployed. who is this guy? like this is-- it's like he's at an auction, 90, i just heard 42%. he's not even counting.

i bet the count from "sesame street" is like ha ha ha. what an idiot! ha, ha, ha. this guy, so ridiculous. oh, man, but if there is one man who proved he wasn't an idiot last night was the 1950s basketball legend and 74 year old senator bernie sanders. >> key groups of voters supporting bernie sanders tonight included 85% of millenials, 72% of independents voting in the democratic party. two thirds of gun owners, and those who say they are very liberal. >> trevor: yeah, young people love him. independents love him, gun owners love him. and don't forget his strongest demographic, your friends on facebook. yeah. (applause) i gises techically they like him, but still, as for secretary

clinton, sander 2-s 2 point win made for an awkward concession speech and luckily here at the daily show we had our subtext closed captioning on. >> thank you all very, very much. my goodness. i don't know what we would have done tonight if we had actually won. this is a pretty exciting event. and i'm very grateful to all of you. i want to begin by congratulating senator sanders on his victory tonight. and i want to thank each and every one of you. and i want to say i still love new hampshire and i always will. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: well done, hillary, well done. but as with iowa, the real winner of new hampshire's vote wasn't the person who won new hampshire's vote. it was the expectation defying second place republican finisher ohio governor john kasich. for perspective, this is the man who just three days ago was this

guy. (laughter) you see that guy? no, no, seriously. john kasich was that guy. look at that podium. he's not even there. he's that guy. the candidate who seemed invisible because he literally was invisible. john kasich is so unknown people don't even say his name right. >> john kasick got as much air time as mr. bush. >> kasick is way behind in the pool. >> definitely kasich. >> it rhymes with basic. ah, got it. cassic, got it. i'm not going to lie, this guy is so loveable. ran a clean campaign. he's got some serious policies, like him or not and he's right, the light overcame the darkness. no one noticed him before. you know what this is, this is that moment in the movie when the girl shakes out her hair,

takes off her glasses, and then suddenly we realize-- kiss me ♪ ♪. >> i'm not sure you can quite understand. there's magic in the air with this campaign. because we don't see it as just another campaign. we see this as an opportunity for all of us-- . >> trevor: kasich, will you be my president? we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) our clothes can stretch out in the wash, ruining them forever. protect your clothes from stretching, fading, and fuzz. ...with downy fabric conditioner... it helps protect clothes from the damage of the wash.

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>> trevor: welcome back. a campaign reporter's life say lonely, difficult one. and so that's why i send roy wood, jr. out on the trail. >> as a reporter on the campaign trail there's one thing i've been trying to avoid, reporting on a campaign trail. the nothing they say means anything, i'm bored just

watching this footage. none the less i was sent to the new hampshire primary to meet up with a couple of diehards who were going to be more than happy to take me around in their tripped out ben carson mobile. let me guess what we're going to talk about. >> we love ben carson. cuz he gets it, what is happening in the country. you know something, roy, if ben carson wins, he will be our first black president. >> i'm sorry, what? the second black president. >> because president obama's mother was white. think about it. >> i've already thought about it. >> let's just go see carson and get this over with. >> all right, first stop we're going to the jeb bush rally. >> why are we going to see jeb bush? >> cuz we want to see all of the candidates that we can. >> we're just going to ride around all day looking at people that we are not-- y'all crazy, okay. >> not crazy.

>> crazy. >> just want to be informed. >> cuz we love our country, roy. >> oh, i get it. they are insane. >> this is my patriotic sweater. >> that et goes the message across, the patriotic message. >> drop me off right here. let me out right here. >> then we arrived at a boring rally for the most boring candidate of all, jeb fing bush. >> then something happened. >> yes, ma'am. >> is she asking a question. >> i know you weren't for common core. i wonder how you stand on it now. >> common core means different things to different people. >> hmmmm. he just gave an answer that was strangely not full of [bleep]. this is nothing like what you see on tv. and chris christie, i saw more people connecting with the candidates, having a real conversation. i was ready to get in on this sweet democracy action. >> i rushed to the carly fiorina event to get a good seat which

wasn't a problem. i hit her with some hot heat. >> your administration, how much attention to some of the smaller ancillary organizations like boko haram. >> it's a very important question. hillary clinton famously asked what difference it makes how poor people. >> what does hillary have to do with my question. i was wondering if she didn't know [bleep]. now i know she doesn't know [bleep] but at least i know. man, i'm all in on this. with the few modifications to the ben mobile, the freedom party was on. >> yeah! >> that is the sweater. >> here goes. yankee dood el. >> why did yankee dood el make it of macaroni. >> i always wondered that myself. >> i was drunk on freedom. now it's time for the big one. >> yeah! >> we're going to see the donald. and roy, you better behave

yourself and not be one of those hecklers that et goes kicked out. >> sorry, what? >> judy didn't trust me. so we skipped trump. we had seen most of the republican field and as we headed home, i realized bud and judy taught me the importance of giving people a chance. >> now we're going to see hillary. >> are you [bleep] kidding me? a democrat too? why! >> i don't expect we'll still like her but at least we will see her and say that we gave a fair chance. >> i see. judy and bud aren't crazy. they're engaged voters. this is what politics is supposed to be. you listening to everyone and then you make a decision. >> she pointed at me. >> judy and bud might have scared me with that stupid music sweater, but you know what, i love these guys. >> we got a lot of memories, we have to look at them, we look at them one time and then we delet them, all right? >> all right. >> all right.

>> deal? >> deal. >> deal. >> oh, god. >> roy wood, jr., everybody, thank you so much. we'll be right back. [richard] a thousand people win one thousand dollars. every day at h&r block. you can still win. come in! it's refund season. oh hello, deadpool here.

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>> thank you very much. >> trevor: welcome back to the show. my guest tonight is an actress whose new series on hbo is called "vinyl." >> it's okay. i know. it isn't fuf for you. >> no. >> no, it's not enough. you need this. >> no. >> yeah, here you go. take that. >> no, no. >> our life isn't enough for you. this is what you need. >> no, no. >> this is what you need, come here, take it, take it. have some. >> here you go. >> trevor: please welcome olivia wilde.

(applause) olivia. >> hello. >> trevor: does everyone sing your name? >> no, no one ever. >> trevor: oh, i thought it was the only way. >> i do enjoy it. >> trevor: everyone say that when you walk into the room. thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you for having me, thank you. >> trevor: before we get into the new hbo show, i watched a fascinating short documentary that has been nominated for an oscar. body team 12. >> that's right. >> trevor: could you tell the people a little bit about it, really fascinating story. >> yes, this is a documentary i was lucky enough to executive produce, called body team 126789 and it is about a group of health workers in liberia during the ebola epidemic who were responsible for collecting the bodies of the dead and taking them out of communities so that people wouldn't contract the virus by coming in contact with them. so they're heroes because that is how the virus was contained. had these people not risked their lives, it could have

spread in a much more dangerous way. >> trevor: it is an insane story. >> it is. >> trevor: because i'm a big fan of watching, well, i that would sound wrong, ebola stories. no, i. >> are you the number one ebola fan. i heard that. >> trevor: i have the website. what is fascinating about the story wasn't just the fact that these people were risking their lives, the fact that it was the story of a woman who was at the forefront car mine, and she was amazing. because all the men were afraid to touch dead bodies. >> yes. >> trevor: and she was the only one who could do it. >> she's a tough cookie. it is an incredible story of a haroine who risked not only her life but faced such a stigma by being this woman, her son was ostracized at school. you have an insight into her life and what she was risking by being involved in this body team. and they were all working for the liberian red cross. she now left the red cross and is working to help all the orphans who were made orphans by the epidemic and finding homes for them. >> trevor: that's amazing.

>> if you want to find out more about the documentary go to riot.org which is ryot.org and it has the whole explanation. >> trevor: ryot.org. congratulations on the oscar nomination for that. >> thank you. >> trevor: it really is fantastic. (cheers and applause) >> i'm pretty sure it is the first time ebola will have been mentioned at the oscars. we achieved something. >> trevor: and it is an all black cast. >> the only all-black cast. >> trevor: pretty impressive as well. >> i think so, thank you. >> trevor: let's talk about hbo's "vinyl." i read an interesting article. i was in an airplane somewhere and there was an interesting article you did about choosing different roles that were empowering to women. >> sure. >> trevor: choosing roles that had more complexity to them. is this your first for rea into that? >> i hope not. i hope i have been chipping away at it slowly. as you become more and more successful as an actor you have more and more control. you can make choices based on what you actually want to do. and "vinyl" is a role of a show

that i'm so lucky to be a part of because of everyone involved and a character that i love because she is complex in a way that i haven't seen before. >> trevor: and everyone is involved. the just the story of the making of "vinyl" is so insane. you have martin scorsese creating it with mick jagger. >> it is good fellas. >> i really believe in them. i've been mentoring them. >> trevor: you have? >> i feel good, about them. >> trevor: i think they'll do well under you. they really well. >> they study hard. >> trevor: it is like studio 54 meets good fellas t has that vibe to it. it is really funky, new york in the '70s for those who haven't seen any of it. it is really a fascinating story, new york rock 'n' roll music in the '70s. it's a gripping story. and you play the wife of, i guess he's a music man. >> yes, bobby, who is extraordinary plays a record executive. and his label is in crisis when you meet these characters. i'm his wife, a former fact ree

girl, muse of andy war hole, she has a whole debawch rouse past and our marriage is also kind of in crisis, so everything is at that moment of crisis. which i think is probably the best way to start a series. and our show runner terry winter who did sopranos and boardwalk empire is familiar with how to make good tv. so we're in good hands. and it's nuts. i know it's hbo, everything they do is nuts but this is really kazy-- crazy. >> trevor: it say superexciting story. everyone is excited to watch it. is scorsese as exciting and electric to work with as he seems like. >> he's like the kid. the most excited person on sevment he's like a 19 year old who has just been given the chance to make his first film and is he so excited. will work longer hours than anyone else. he knows about every movie that has ever been made. it's like he's the most excited and excites person. he is lovely. >> trevor: it really does seem like it. i can't wait to see it."

vinyl "will premier on hbo this sunday. >> it is a very romantic way to spend your valentine's day. >> trevor: with could cane and rock 'n' roll. olivia wilde, everyone. olivia wilde, everyone. (applause) wright here, shock top. big citrus head, flavorful beer. is that real? look at that beard man like a modern day abe lincoln. you wanna take me and my refreshing friends? we ride? ya? let's party. let's do it. shotgun, called it. you got shotgun? alright.

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(cheers and applause). >> trevor: that is our show, everybody. here it is, your moment of zen. >> lincoln himself was routinely called weak, wishy washy, a yahoo. an unshapely man. the obscene ape of illinois and my favorite, a fa see shu captioned by media access group at wgbh captioning sponsored by comedy central