good night, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ♪ (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah. thank you so much! tonight we've got a great one from the film "triple 9", anthony mackie is here! (cheers and applause) but first, let's take a moment to talk about the supreme court, or as black robe distributors

call it, our best customer. the supreme court is the highest court in america, nine justices settling all the disputes lower courts cannot. the same way your mom settles the disputes your dad cannot or that your other mom cannot, because that's okay now, thanks to the supreme court. now, in a court that is often divided, having one extra vote can make all the difference, meaning just one person can be responsible for hugely significant changes in the law and, very often, in the last 30 years, that person was justice antonin scalia who passed away ten days ago. now, his vote was the reason america can no longer regulate our campaign finance spending and the reason minority voting rights are vulnerable and the reason george w. bush became president which makes scalia sound like a dick but on the other hand his rules prevented the government from conducting ifn vasive home searches and

sensorring video games. so if you like to play grand theft auto, thanks justice scalia or if you want to commit it, thank justice scalia. he's a good all around guy. it's a powerful position. now there is an opening. as vague coons tuition is on so many things, it's crystal clear on what's supposed to happen now. the president has to nominate a justice and the senate has to consider approving them and then if they get confirmed, the rest of the justices, they have to haze the new person. it's a system of checks and balances and underwear up a flag pole like the founding fathers intended. (laughter) president obama said he would nominate someone as fast as he could. the only thing there is there is a senate-sized speed bump.

>> senate republicans vowed to block any nomination. >> we're not bringing this nominee out this year. >> it is today the american people who are best positioned to help make this important decision. >> usually, you never nominate anybody during the last year of apt. >> i think this is a matter of policy that during a lame duck period we should not be confirming a supreme court nomination. (mocking) >> trevor: you will have to forgive ted cruz. he sufferers from mental condition called being a liar. (applause) yeah, that's what's going on there because, i mean, he says that, but the lame duck period is the part where a president has just gone through an election. it's after the election. when we're just waiting to inaugurate this next commander commander-in-chief. this president is not a lame duck at all. he's a perfect duck. like daisy duck. (laughter) yeah, i mean, like, she's got

the bow and the feathers and the damn feet, i don't know how they fit, but they do in the thing, and she can do whatever she wants. (laughter) until the election. until the election. and then she's a lame duck. the point, is these republican senators are totally full of b.s. because not that long ago when there was a republican president making judicial nominations, they were sing ago different tune. >> we cannot hijack the president's power to appoint justs, it upsets the balance. >> the constitution of the united states is a at stake. article 2, section 2 clearly provides the president and the president alone nominates judges. >> trevor: yeah. thank you man with turkey neck. you've shown that this is not about the constitution, but rather just about getting what you want for your party. luckily -- luckily, the democrats know what's up. >> the american people don't like this obstructionism.

when you go right off the bat and say i don't care who he nominates, i am going too pows him, that's not going to fly. >> there is no unwritten law that says it can only be done on off years. i'm amused when i hear people who claim to be strict interpreters of the constitution suddenly reading into it a whole series of provisions that are not there. >> trevor: you know what i love about president obama, his burns are so classy. like, he disses the (bleep) out of the republicans, but he's doing it so smoothly. he just has that swag about him -- i find it amusing that, uh, your mother is so overweight, that, uh, i had to order the, uh, post master general to issue her, uh, own zip code. (applause) he's just smooth! and you see, the truth, is republicans, the game is up. you love giving speeches and

making ads about america's greatest document, how no one loves the constitution noorn you, but it's all sanctimonious bull (bleep). you just want to have things your way. oh, obama needs to wait. oh, it's an election year. oh, you like to throw around the term lame ducks? well, guess what, republicans, y'all are a bunch of lame (bleep). (applause) >> trevor: sorry, the mic was supposed to drop off. why is the mic not -- oh, man, is there another side to this story? >> democrats have done this plenty of times before. >> i will recommend to my colleagues that we should not confirm any bush nominee to the supreme court except in extraordinary circumstances. >> sam alito being nominated by

george w. bush in 2006, barack obama was in the senate, voted to phil buster the nomination, he didn't even want to vote on it! >> trevor: i should have known. thanks for nothing, democrats. for more we go to senior political analyst jordan klepper in washington. jordan klepper, everybody! (cheers and applause) jordan, please help us. what's going on here? seems like everyone is just saying whatever it takes to get their way even when it's totally inconsistent. >> look on the bright side, they're lying. >> trevor: do you know what bright means, jordan? >> stay with me on these. these politicians feel ashamed to tell truth of what they're actually doing so instead they're covering their partisan intentions and high-minded rhetoric and principals, which is disgusting, but it shows they at least know what noble principles are. >> trevor: so they have a moral compass but they're not using it? >> yeah, but they have one. it's not completely lost.

it's stuck in a junk drawer with old rubber bands and your ex-girlfriend's diaphragm. >> trevor: why would you keep your ex-girgirlfriend's diaphra? >> because in case she needs it back. she has another set of twins on facebook. we get it, good, you're happy! >> trevor: who's good? it's how congress works. it's something we learned when we were young, grew up playing the "congress, the home game." >> trevor: what? you can experience the u.s. bicamera legislature in your own home with "congress, the home game." >> awesome. can't wait to play. you go first. no, i'm not playing. what? move the country forward, vote on important issues. >> you just said you couldn't wait to play. >> yep. so can i go first? you can go to hell. with hundreds of pages of procedural rules, the only limit is your imagination. >> it says here...

confirm nomination, even amend the constitution! all you have to do is play the game! >> please move your hand. my hand has a right to be there. >> fine. you roll the dice. why did you do that? you're not winning. >> neither are you. but neither are you. yeah, but neither are you (screaming) >> you can do anything congress can do. >> okay. maybe we can try again tomorrow. >> i'm going on vacation for a month. (screaming) >> "congress, the home game," from the makers of syria, the multi-player strategy game where everyone -- (blast) >> oh! >> trevor: thank you, jordan klepper. we'll be right back! we'll be right back! (c [ screaming ]

[ tires screech ] ahhhhh!!! [ horn honking ] [ panting ] i focused on being prepared. [ gasp ] i saved your life by bringing you here. i knew this day would come. [ alarm sounding ] it's not safe out there. [ scream ] [ gasp ] something's coming. [ erie music ] every single day i walk through the doand just jump on me.e hall i don't even have time to drop my police gear or whatnot. "daddy, daddy, we're so happy to see you," i love that, you know? you can go through the absolute worst, but you keep telling yourself at the end of the day, "hang in there, you're gonna go home and see your wife and kids." whatever home means to you, we'll help you find it. zillow.

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known for being the controversial pass for for at world missionary in haroldum and for posting signs like this outside his church. we met with him once in 2009. >> obama is indeed the next hitler. >> jessica: again in 2015 when he told thus little gem that has stuck with me ever since. >> i think this starbucks recognized the flavor of their lattes that they are using semen to make that ltte even more flavorful. >> jessica: you think they're using semen to flavor their latte? i sat down with dr. manning to find out what the hell is going on now. >> the city of new york, the deblasio administration, in particular, is trying to foreclose on our property over a damn water bill. >> jessica: have you been paying your water bill? >> we're tax exempt. we're a church. churches do not pay water bills

or any other kind of tax for that matter. >> jessica: that's bullship. after a long legal battle, the court rules the church was not eligible tore the exemption so that and a long list of other offensens against the church prompted their closing. >> the sodomites lost the campaign to silence my voice in this community. >> jessica: who are these sodomites? >> many have moved from other parts of the city and country and moved up here to this particular community. going up town to harlem. going to let my hair down in harlem. >> jessica: i'm going to harlem. >> and have a good time. >> jessica: and have a good old time. >> i have to say this, i don't know in the audience can handle it. >> jessica: what do you have to say? >> a lot came looking for black

meat. >> jessica: what? black meat. >> jessica: what is black meat? >> sex with black men. >> jessica: oh, my god. why do you say stuff like this? >> well, i think it's a pretty common -- i think jungle fever could be one of the terms. you might accept that, would you? >> anything is better than black meat. >> okay, that's it, jungle fever! >> jessica: i had one more question. does starbucks have anything to do with this? >> you mean the fact starbucks put seemnan their lattes? >> i have been thinking about this the last time you talked, the fact that you think starbucks puts semen in their lattes. how? >> how do they get vanilla into lattes? how do they do that? >> jessica: they pump vanilla in there. >> there you go. >> jessica: is that how it goes? >> i would think. >> jessica: where is starbucks getting all this semen from? because that's massive

operation. >> i mean, i'm not a biologist or a chemist. >> jessica: that's true, you are not a biologist, you are not a chemist. okay! i said i was going to help and i am. so i met with the man who wants to buy the property, carlos, but turns out he's not exactly planning to put up high-rise condos. instead, he's doing this -- >> i run a program for homeless lgbt youth, kids who have been thrown out of their homes. what i would like to do is fill the building with young people who are currently sleeping in the streets. >> jessica: whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... let me just wrap my head around this right now. you want to kick out a church that is very homophobic and put in young lgbt youth? >> it's three blocks away from our drop-in center. it would be a perfect place for our young people to live. >> jessica: whaaaaaaaaaaaat!

(applause) ha! that's amazing. that is great. but the reverend isn't concerned the largest lgbt youth center in the country wants to move in because he's carefully analyzed the legal proceedings and he's come to this logical conclusion... >> before this church is foreclosed on, sodo sodomites wl carry babies in their testicles for nine months and then jess at a time them out of their assholes before this church is closed. if it's possible for that to happen, it's possible for this church to be foreclosed. >> jessica: okay so you are saying people will have butt babies before this church is foreclosed on? >> people will never have butt babies so this church will never be closed. >> jessica: you just described it. >> it's never going to happen. >> jessica: so you're going to fight this thing? >> yeah. >> jessica: but they're saying you owe over a million dollars. that's a lot. >> yeah, it is. >> jessica: you don't have it,

do you? oh, that's for shame. when the auction comes, the forecast is for butt babies and won't that be the ultimate twiiiiiiiiiist? (cheers and applause) there has to be a way. carry the centimeter, divide by 3.14 something something something... [ beeping, whirring ] great caesar salad! ♪ and now the name your price tool shows people policy options to help fit their budget. is that a true story? yeah! people really do save an average of over $500 when they switch. i mean about you inventing it. i invented the story, and isn't that what really matters? so... what else about me?

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"triple 9". >> what are you doing, man? i could ask you the same thing. >> well, i didn't throw a guy on the ground and try to insite a riot. >> you didn't hear him. he was running his mouth. >> do you even know who that is? no, that was obstruction. getting in the way of my investigation. >> get out of school, man! it ain't no obstruction up here. he's a lieutenant! do you think somebody's going to talk now? >> oh, he was a lieutenant? yeah. i didn't realize. i'll apologize. >> the rules are different, this ain't buckhead, all right? >> trevor: please welcome anthony mackie! (cheers and applause) my man! hey! >> oh, yes, i've waited for this! >> trevor: you say that like i owe you money. >> for real! >> trevor: welcome to the show, man. >> i appreciate it. >> trevor: this is fun.

this is nice. >> quite nice. >> trevor: oh, thank you. i -- >> renovated the place? >> trevor: yeah. nice skyline. >> trevor: got some people. (cheers and applause) >> good group. >> trevor: you know what's weird for me is you are a superhero now. does that ever sink in, you are a superhero? do kids ever look at you and go, it's the dude? >> no, because i'm married. >> trevor: i said kids. with the kids, definitely! >> trevor: what did you think i said? i was, like, the kids aren't looking at you? >> no, i'm married. i come home and i say, baby, i'm a superhero. she's, like, trash! >> trevor: oh, your kids! yeah. i'm talking about my kids! >> trevor: people at home were, like, what just happened there? >> no, that's what married people do, they make babies.

only on the weekends. >> trevor: let's talk about the streets, though. >> oh, i'm i in them streets (laughter) >> trevor: in the streets, do the people go, it's the superhero? >> all the time. but, like, i have a weird fan base, so, you know, i go out and it could be literally a room full of women and they go, la, la, la. and there's one dude and he goes, oh, my! ahhh! and i'm, like, really? i got dudes! i walked through the airport last week and this dude in t.s.a. stopped, held the whole line. and a woman says, i don't care about him, he ain't nobody to me, and he's, like, oh, my! ahhh! ahhh! >> trevor: what is happening in that moment? >> that's what i'm trying to figure out, ahhh! i love you! that's what they do.

it's really weird. that's superhero life, homey. >> trevor: i won't make that sound anymore, then. (laughter) no, it's really a big deal because kids get to see you. >> it is. >> trevor: your character has weird superpowers in the movie because you're captain america's friend. you know your character originally can talk to birds, right? >> all the time. >> trevor: i haven't seen that in the movie. >> no, it's in there. >> trevor: i've never seen it. no, you have to watch the movie. i suddenly drop it in there. when i'm in my living room in cap and black widow come to the door, i open the door and go -- and i talk to them. >> trevor: these are like extended scenes i've never seen. >> no, it's in there. i give little hints, you know. that's how i talk to my birds. (laughter) >> trevor: "triple 9". great movie. >> trevor: i was supposed to say that. >> sorry. sorry. talk about it. talk about it. >> trevor: great movie. "triple 9". great movie. no, i mean it, guys. the cost is insane.

>> its didn't cost that much. >> trevor: it's, like, everyone knows everyone. you see the people and you're in an amazing cast of actors and stories. >> the cost? >> trevor: no the cast. he cost? >> trevor: the cast. (british accent) (laughter) >> all right, i'm tripping. i'm tripping. >> trevor: the cast. (american accent... ) the cast. >> oh! i got it! i didn't know what you were saying. i was trying to clear it up because i was confused. i ain't from here. it's a good cause. good cause. >> trevor: house of the cast in the movie, anthony? >> it's great, man! a great cast of people and we

had a good time and i knew once i got cost in this movie it would be a brilliant situation of costing for the costing director. i didn't understand, but we back, we're right here. >> trevor: you know this is black on black, don't you know. >> i know it! see that? i didn't understand you! now i understand you, bro! i got you, tramp! come on, man! i got you! bring it back! >> trevor: go watch the movie. it has an amazing cast. it has an amazing cast. "triple 9" in

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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: that's it for our show! here it, is everybody. your moment of zen. >> there is lots of folks here who believe that the second amendment in this country is under attack and -- (gunfire) >> -- and say a short distance away -- donald trump -- opportunity -- captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org o: and now a message from the vice president of the united states, dick cheney. good evening and happy halloween. [ laughter ] [ cheering and applause ] i would-- i'd like to use this opportunity to address some of the questions surrounding the recent indictment of my top aide lewis "scooter" libby. scooter was under investigation for violating the intelligence identities protection act, and of course, as you all know by now,

he was found to be completely innocent. the special prosecutor, however, did charge scooter with a few lies here and there. but come on, a guy named scooter might stretch the truth just a little bit, right? i mean, to call it lies, come on, he's scooter. he's just joshin'. we all josh. i like to josh. members of the press-- they were joshing, too. but keep in mind whatever the charges, none of this reflects in any way on the white house. we are as strong as ever. critics have turned to the old adage, where there's smoke, there's fire. but i can tell you that in this case, you would be mistaken. i think it would be wrong to conclude that just because of the harriet miers situation, the hurricane mess, the war, and now the indictment, that this administration is in some kind of trouble. it couldn't be further from the truth. looky there. i see a little smoke has made its way into this room. i'm just gonna ignore that. i want to make this absolutely clear.