assumed it was a he. oh, no, no. it's a she. (abbi) it's definitely a she. oh, god. yeah. this feels... just right. right. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you, everyone. our musical guest joining us on the show tonight, brian fallon, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) put first a quick shoutout to judge merrick garland, who president obama today nominated to the supreme court. yeah, i've got to say, i love it already-- merrick garland. his name sounds like an exotic spice. ( laughter )

"oh, my god, kate, that chicken is amazing. what's your secret?" "well, i let it cook for 20 minutes. and then i sprinkle on just a little merric merrick garland. garland. and then the senate rejects it. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: we'll have more on that tomorrow, chatting more about that tomorrow but right now we're still dealing with last night's primaries. it was the secretary super tuesday in three weeks, and this one really delivered. for instance, on the democratic side, hillary clinton racked up wins in every state, meaning she's started to look like a broken hip on the set of "indiana jone"indiana jones 5--. >> a clean sweep for hillary clinton. >> clinton moves closer to locking up the democratic nomination. >> her delegate lead is now 700 making it all but impossible for sanders to make up the difference before july. >> trevor: yes, sad but true. it's not looking good for bernie sanders. but-- and it's a big but-- that

does not skews what happened last night on all the cable news networks. nobody showed bernie's speech. in fact, while bernie sanders was thriferg his address, cnn, fox, and msnbc chose instead to keep their cameras locked on trump's empty podium. this is it, people-- trump is at a point where even his furniture gets news coverage. you realize you could have just put that podium in a box while you covered bernie speaking. it's literally box shaped. trust us. the minute that the podium does something, you can just switch over. at his next speech, bernie sanders should just come out dressed as trump's podium. that way nobody will be able to ignore him. people will say, "that's, that podium is correct. wall street is corrupt. good job, podium. come oguys. bernie is still in the race. give him some respect. you know who is not still in the race? little marco? yes, very sad. he suspended his campaign after lose higz home state to trump. and poor rubio. you know, like so many cubans

before him, he got smoked by an obnoxious rich man in florida. ( laughter ) and what's worse is that he couldn't even get through his speech with dignity. >> i want to congratulate donald trump on his victory, a big victory in florida. while it is not god's plan they be president in 2016, or maybe ever, and while today my campaign is suspected, this horrifying downtown-- >> trump for president! ( bleep ). >> trevor: come on, people. do you really have to yell, "trump for president" while rubio is conceding to trump. so unnecessary. it's like going to somebody's funeral and being like, "yeah, you stay dead. you corpse-as, ised ( bleep )." it's so said sadd to see rubio go. let's pull one out for the homey we lost. this is for you, rubio. ( laughter )

( applause ) yeah. some more for you, rubio. ( laughter ) some more. some more for you. some more for you. i don't understand. why didn't he just look at the bottles when he took them? why would you make eye-- it's so hard to do that. but still, this is for you, rubio. more fur. yeah. ( applause ) more for you. and don't worry, flint, michigan, we're not wasting the water. we've knot it right here. yeah, we've got you. the real big news of the night was ohio governor john kasich, winning his home state by 11 point. and i feel like he's the one republican candidate who doesn't think about the race and think that it's only about him. >> if we're i school teacher, we give up money to change lives. and if we are a neighbor, that means that widow, who was married for 50 years who no one calls anymore, you want to change the world? you take her to dinner on saturday night. she'll wear that cress she hadn't worn in six months.

>> trevor: then after dinner, head to a party. get some recreational club drugs. ( laughter ) and do them with the widow. ( laughter ) then, dance with her all night. to house music. forgetting where your body ends and where the widow's begins. and then watch the sun come up over dayton affect. and say, "man, i'm so glad we did this, margaret. you know what? i'm glad your husband died. corpse-ass ( bleep )." ( cheers and applause ) you know the best part of john kasich's speech happened after the talking. ( cheers and applause ) i've never seen that much confetti in my life! like has john kasich just been storing up confetti after every primary that he didn't win?

it's almost like he's been confetti edge, just like every time. that? no, no. and last night he was like release! finally, release! ( cheers and applause ) so kasich won ohio. ted cruz won nothing. which can only mean that the other four states were won by donald jorge trump. that's what the "j" stands for. at trump headquarters at mar-a-lago in palm beach, they disrupted what appeared to be a lavish bar mitzvah themed party to give another speech. >> i just want to congratulate everybody. this is an interesting process. it's an amazing process. that's an amazing achievement. florida was so amazing. you lose $500 billion a year with china. we don't win at trade. china, everybody. we're going to win, but more importantly, we're going to win for the country. we're going to win, win, win.

>> trevor: sometimes trump's speech seems as though it's loading in his mind as he's speaking. it's like it's buffering and then goes away. "we're gonna..., you know,... china, you know,, you know--" and you're probably like why did you edit the speech like that? because we wanted it to make more sense. here's the thing, trump's popularity has never been about sense. he's tapping into voters' frustration which he's not necessarily responsible for. donald trump didn't invent racism. trump didn't invent islamo phobia. and he didn't invent violence. all he did was put his name on them like he does with everything else. before trump-- . ( cheers and applause ) before trump, republican politicians played to voters' prejudices by masking them with polite-sounding policy talk about individual liberty and states' right. and trump, he just stripped that all away. he dropped the pretense. it's like lucky charms came out

and finally said, it's wet candy. ( laughter ) the only reason i bring this up is because despite trump's 19 primary wins and 7.5 million votes so far, the republican party is still dead set on taking this away from him. they keep talking about a contested convention, which would look like this. >> here's how it works. in the first round, most delegates are bound to vote for the candidate they represent. but if there's no clear winner, they keep voting and delegates are freed up to pick whoever they want. that's when things get messy. >> trevor: messy? no, no, a baby with a boafl cheerios is messy. a contest convention, including trump, would be a port-o-potty at a burning man mixed with a human centipede mob buckets. ( laughter ) but despite that, despite that, the other republican candidates-- oh, they think it's good. they're talking like this. >> if he doesn't have the right numbers, then we're in a

multiballot convention. who-- what's the big deal about that other than it's exciting? think about how much education our kids are going to get about the way in which we pick a president. i think it will be very cool. >> trevor: "i think it will be very cool to see this country burn down." you would be unleashing the kraken. do you have any idea what a contested convention would mean? it turns out, donald trump, well, he has a preview. >> i think you'd have riots. i'm representing a tremendous, many, many medicine of people. you disenfranchise those people and say, "i'm sorry, but you're 100 votes shorts, even though the next one is 500 votes short," i think you would have problems like you've never seen before. i think bad things would happen. i really do. i believe that. i wouldn't lead it, but i believe bad things would happen. >> trevor: trump sounds luke a fortune teller who is going to make it happen him. "i see very bad things in your future because i'm going to be there." ( laughter ) that's not a prediction. it's a promise. just think about it.

trump supporters are already kicking the ( bleep ) out of people, and that's when they're winning. and the republicans think that after trump has ignited all this passion and anger in america that they can just swoop in and take the nomination away from him? this is not going to end well. and the signs, my friends are, everywhere. >> after last night's big wins in florida, north carolina, illinois, and missouri, trump has 666 delegates now. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: trump, 666. i bet even the devil is going, "oooh, that's bad." we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) for a limited time, you can get a

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♪ pepsi cola is caringing because covering heals faster. for a bandage that moves with you and stays on all day, cover with a band-aid brand flexible fabric adhesive bandage. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to the show. oaf the past week, much of the country has grown concerned over what they've seen at donald trump's rallies. but one group in particular is especially uneasy. here to comment is our senior jewish correspondent, adam lowitz. >> thanks, trevor, and i appreciate you being able to distinguish between my current heightened level of anxiety versus my constant day-to-day

unwavering neuroticism. takes a keen eye. yes, trump's rallies have been making juice uncomfortable. you know, by now everyone has seen this photo of a donald trump supporter-- let's just say waving to a friend outsideave really in chicago. it's pretty hard to look at. and not for nothing, but as a jew, if i wanted a woman in her 60s to make me feel bad about myself i'd call my mother. but, trevor, if i got stressed every time an old person did something clueless and offensive, my hair would fall out. >> trevor: but, adam, your hair is-- it will grow back. ( laughter ) let's just give this woman a chance to explain. >> she says these shooez not a nazi or a racist, and claims she was actually having a conversation outside of the arena with some anti-trump activists. >> to do something like to compare any person with a self-proclaimed leader that he never had a vote. nobody ever voted for that man. them do it right. >> no!

don't do it again! explain with your words, not your hands! look, what she's trying to say is trump isn't hitler. this is hitler. but just a little tip, lady. this mawks it pret hard to listen to anything else you're saying. like, hey, rebec awe've been together three wonderful years. that's why i'm asking to you make me the happiest man on earth. ( laughter ) and, look, if it was just this one woman, it would have been enough. this is a man at a trump rally here in cleveland talking about auschwitz, appearing to use the nazi salute. >> go to auschwitz! go to ( bleep )! >> oh! well, at least we know he's not a denier. but you know what? maybe he was taken out of context. >> no, no, adam, i'm sorry, what kind of context? >> maybe on the other side of that camera someone in the crowd is yelling, "i'm a world war ii historian looking for a new

research project. does anyone have a good travel recommendation?" >> go to auschwitz! go to ( bleep )! >> "thank you, my good man." ( cheers and applause ) we got the highly and the auschwitz. let's say we round it out with a reminder how the jews are damned to hell. >> pastor mark burns opened up for trump at an haven't in north carolina. sand sers jewish and this is what the pastor said. >> bernie gotta meet jesus. i don't know, he has to have a come to jesus meeting. >> meantime jesus? bernie liveses a simple life and wants to help the poor. >> bernie sanders tried to be a carpenter at one point in the 1970s. he was not a good carpenter. ( cheers and applause ) >> holy ( bleep ). i think that pastor needs to have a "come to sanders" moment. >> trevor: adam, i've got to

say, it must be shocking for you to see all these anti-semitic incidents at trump's events. >> actually, we were just wondering when it would get around to us. first his supporters were going after mexicans and muslims. we were on the sidelines going, "hello! juice over here." i'm not shocked at all. in fact, considering the stats, it was inevitable. did you know 60% of religious hate crimes in america are against jewish people? >> trevor: wow. actually, i did not know that. >> i couldn't believe it, either. hate crimes against jews are so normal we don't talk about them anymore. it's like nudity in "game of thrones." we're numb to the whole thing. >> trevor: well, i'm not numb to the nudity in "game of thrones. >> neither am i, but my wife is watching. >> trevor: there's one silver lining-- bernie sanders is the first major jewish candidate for president. that's progress. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: it is. after last night's results, though, jewish people must be a little disappointed? >> that's okay.

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and get the power back on. it's an amazing feeling turning those lights back on. be informed about outages in your area. sign up for outage alerts at pge.com/outagealerts. together, we're building a better california. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back. my guest tonight is a musician whose new album is called "painkillers." now to play the song "a wonderful life" from that album, please welcome brian fallon. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ most of this life's been a drag of a high ♪ and lows like a blow in a paid thrown title fight ♪ most of my sins were born in a kiss on a night like this ♪ calling all lonely hearts

don't you want a life like we saw on the picture show? ♪ so come on, give me something come on, keep me up all night ♪ you say, my baby all this time in between drives me crazy ♪ i want a life on fire going mad with desire ♪ i don't wanna survive i want a wonderful life ♪ my love seems that it goes from a dream ♪ to a crash and a roll just shaking up everyone ♪ maybe there's more than the treasures we secure ♪ that become heavy chains to sink us in tidal waves

♪ and all i could do is take you from the circus show ♪ so come on, give me something come on, keep me up all night ♪ you say, my baby all this time in between drives me crazy ♪ i want a life on fire going mad with desire ♪ i don't wanna survive i want a wonderful life and all my nights ♪ they always end the same with the blacktop blacktop coming from behind ♪ it's just the age-old game from the living dead ♪ buzzing in my head they keep me up all night ♪ you say, my baby all this time in between drives me crazy

♪ i want a life on fire going mad with desire ♪ i don't wanna survive i want a wonderful life ♪ all my sins were born in a kiss on a night like this ♪ all my sins were born in a kiss on a night like this ♪ calling all lonely hearts ( cheers and applause ) [attendant over pa system] welcome aboard folks... just go ahead and take any empty seat you see. [coughing and sneezing] i hope it's not contagious. [playing flute] ♪ so i do have it. ♪ ♪ [music stops abruptly] ♪ when your mom wakes up, can you tell her about me?

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media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." we're here with brian fallon. brian, amazing, thank you very much. >> thank you. >> trevor: how many people make jokes about jimmy fallon and brian fallon? >> one, you, just you. >> trevor: me? so no one's ever said that to you? >> one time jimmy announced me as his brother on television. >> trevor: so he made the joke, that's one. >> just one. occasional construction workers, mostly plumbers. laug( laughter ). >> trevor: so i'm in good company. i like this. this is great. you guys are amazing. you're going out solo. why do you have nicolas cage's face on your drum set? ( cheers and applause ). >> well, we feel generally, as a whole that nicolas cage is the

heartbeat of america. especially that movie where he's a vampire. >> trevor: ah, yes, yes, that movie. >> classic films. >> trevor: what you're saying is nicolas cage is a national treasure. ( laughter ) thank you so much for being here, man. brian fallon's new album "painkillers" is available now. now, to play us out with the song "nobody wins," please welcome once again brian fallon. ♪ skin and bones you never did come home ♪ crashing on my heart through the telephone ♪ i remember the tall grass waving in past lives old poems ♪ i must have lived a lifetime without you ♪ you must've ended up somebody's angel

♪ i remember you loving the radio ♪ new waves and old stones hey, hey little tommy gun ♪ i guess we're never gonna end up the lucky ones ♪ if i never see you again have a round on me, love hallelujah, nobody wins ♪ the queen is gone she died from a sad song ♪ i lost most of myself pleasing everyone ♪ i had to learn how to begin again ♪ it's alright, move on hey, hey little tommy gun ♪ i guess we're never gonna end up the lucky ones ♪ if i never see you again have a round on me, love ♪ hallelujah, nobody wins

hallelujah and nobody wins hallelujah ♪ ever see you again captioning sponsored by comedy central >> larry: yes, thank you very much. please, please, thank you. >> larry, larry, larry. >> larry: thank you so much, please. welcome to the nightly show. i'm larry wilmore. charlemagne tha god is on the panel tonight, you guys. very exciting. i have to say. last night w