um... actuai was. i felt really brave, though. my mom always said that french people hate jews. i'm pretty sure it's unrelated, though, right? right, he probably didn't know that you were... perfect nose. uh... i'm... dude, ew! ohhhh! ew! what the (bleep)? what the (bleep)? a (bleep) condom! ew! ab, this is it! this could be the key to the whole crime! this could unlock the whole thing, it's only six to-- ew! six-and-a-half hours old. fresh on his tail. we could find out exactly who this guy is through his dna! trail him down, nail him down! fist! okay, i don't think that's a good idea, dude. you didn't see him. he was dangerous. really? yeah, we gotta just, like, throw that condom away and act like we never saw it and never bring it up again. you sure? 'cause, i'm like, this is the whole thing. i am positive, dude! you didn't see this guy! he had pecs-- like, they were bigger than my boobs! god. to be that horny and move so efficiently is something that,

you know, even though i hate him, i admire. so, sex! sex with blake griffin, dude, you didn't even talk about it. it wasn't full peena-vageena. penis in vagina. that sucks. is it-- was it okay? it was awesome. we did stuff that i never even thought of before. whoa. all i gotta say, it was nothing but net. oh! and by nothing but net, i mean he fingered me 'til i (bleep). wow. lincoln loved it, even. he thought it was so hot. was he you told linjealous? i think he was okay with it. thank you. mm-hmm. this is blake griffin's shoe. now i use it as a murse. a male purse. we're eskimo brothers. heh heh heh. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah.

-♪ -(cheering and applause) welcome to the daily show! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much, everybody! my guest tonight, from his new show here in new york city, uh, 3 mics, neal brennan is here, everybody! (cheering and applause) now, uh... now, obviously, today is super tuesday, and, uh, we all know what that means. it's the day that we celebrate the arrival of young kal-el on earth from, uh, planet krypton. yes. and, uh, in that spirit, in that spirit, to celebrate super tuesday, uh, many people voted for general zod. uh... we'll, uh... we'll obviously have full coverage of the real super tuesday tomorrow. but while we're on the topic of trump, this is a-a really fun and interesting story. so, the gop frontrunner has been getting a lot of praise from some interesting characters recently, uh, real american hulk hogan and, uh, real white supremacist david duke.

and now, in, honestly, a surprising twist, the leader of the black muslim group the nation of islam, louis farrakhan. yeah. i'm not making this up. louis farrakhan has praised trump as a good leader because he said that trump is the only candidate who stood in front of the jewish community and said "i don't want your money." so just to be clear, donald trump, the man who wants to ban all muslims from entering the u.s., just got praised by a black muslim racist man for being against the jews. like, i feel so bad for trump supporters right now, because what is their... what's going on in your mind right now? they must be like, "yeah, i mean, that black muslim guy "is right. but-but trump is right. "but he's wrong. he's-he's ri... "wait, he says trump... if he says trump is right, "then who are we racist against? do we deport ourselves?!" it must be so hard.

so enjoy that, trump. enjoy that. but now on to our main story. uh, i wanted to talk to you guys about, uh, iowa, the land of corn, caucuses, and, uh, people in cow suits pretending to be cows. uh... that's right. i'm onto you, iowa. i know there's no such thing as cows. you're just a bunch of weird dudes who like tricking people into tugging your nipples. i see you. anyway, uh, iowa. uh... so, uh... so now that the crazy caucuses are over, things are... things are getting back to normal. this week, iowa lawmakers sent a bill to the state senate that would allow children under the age of 14 to shoot handguns. yay! finally! kids under 14 will get to use handguns! aw... beliebers versus directioners is gonna get a whole lot more interesting. yeah. yeah. (chuckles) yeah, and you thought teenagers

could hurt each other with tweets. oh, man. so-so just to clear things up, currently, currently... currently, kids in iowa can use long guns legally for target practice or murder or hunting, right? um... yeah. a lot of kids do love hunting, you know? those kids who only like the first five minutes of bambi. and so... so, previously, kids under 14 in iowa could only carry rifles. but now this new law would allow them to use handguns. uh, oh, but the only condition is that they must be supervised by an adult who maintains "visual and verbal contact at all times." yeah. which is great news for parents, because, uh, maintaining visual and verbal contact can be done using facetime. yeah. no, you-you see, that way you can still supervise them without actually being physically around the kid with the loaded gun! there's a kid running around... it would be so much safer. "look at me, mommy! look at me! yay!"

now, i've heard... i've heard a lot of people complain about how nothing gets done by politicians. and, uh, to them, i reply, be careful what you wish for. reporter: nathan gibson says he's been allowing his now 12-year-old girls to shoot handguns since they were five years old. he is one of a number of parents in the state that's been lobbying to change the gun law for years. yeah. so, uh... (chuckles) so just-just to get this straight, so some guy picked up the phone and called the lawmaker and said, "hey, uh, my kids need guns." and they were like, "done!" and every day in america, there's parents calling lawmakers saying, "hey, my kids died because of guns." and they're like, "uh, can you hold?" yeah. not as funny, is it? and it's not like iowa doesn't do safety regulations. for instance, in iowa, you even need licenses to braid hair. to braid hair, you need a license. that is a real law. and i know some people are going, "yeah, but, trevor, iowa is full of white people. have you seen what happens when they try to braid hair?" and i understand that. i get it.

i mean, i bet one family came back from jamaica, and iowa lawmakers were like, "shut it all down! shut it all down! we can't have this happening!" the guy looks good, you got to admit. the guy looks good. look, i-i mean, this is... you know, this gun argument goes around in circles. i understand that a lot of people feel the need to possess handguns, and i understand that the second amendment provides that right. but-but do we really need kids carrying guns? because the bill doesn't even restrict this to just gun ranges. so we're willing to live in a world where there's a potential that a kid would have a gun in public. yeah. children with guns. children. do you know what children are? these things. aah! no! no! (screaming) (boy screaming) (crying)

man: oh. (child speaking indistinctly) (crying) -mom! mom! -(child laughing) stop! stop! (audience sighing, groaning and laughing) yeah, who watches that and says, uh, "i like that?" (laughter) but it's missing something. -mom! mom! -(child laughing) -(gunfire) stop! stop! (audience groaning) oh, and just, by the way, that was under adult supervision. you do realize that. that kid was doing that under adult super.... i love that the adult was, like, "i'm just gonna videotape this. -this is..." -(laughter) honestly, this is so crazy to me, you know? but there is some good news. although the bill passed the republican-controlled iowa house of representatives, it's expected to fail in the democratic-controlled senate, all right? and children in iowa will not be allowed to carry handguns after all. so, i felt better when i discovered this. yeah, it is good news. uh, until i heard this.

apparently, most states do not restrict children from using handguns. yes. most states let kids use handguns. they also let dogs use handguns. (laughter) -well, did you know that? -(laughter) well, they don't actually allow them, but there's no law against it. and apparently, if there's no law against it, then it's not like we're gonna use our common sense, -and, uh, you know? -(laughter) dogs with guns. of course, it makes sense. it's like the movie ar bud. -yeah! yeah, we get it. -(laughter) -we all love that story. -(applause) what's that, boy? what's that? what? timmy won't bother me anymore? what did you do? good shot, boy! good shot! (laughter) so, it's incredibly easy to give kids guns in america, and it seems like it's only getting easier. (upbeat tune plays) ♪ 1-888-guns 4 kids ♪ g-u-n-s guns 4 kids ♪ 1-888-guns 4 kids ♪ donate your guns today.

did you know that i'm nine years old, and in a whole lot of states, i can use firearms? even machine guns. so call and donate your guns today. ♪ 1-888-guns 4... (gunshot) -man: oh, my leg! -man 2: cut! man: i've been shot by a freaking child! i'm sorry. man: mother (bleeping). somebody call a hospital! ♪ 911. someone please call... man: use a phone, not the song! -♪ 911. someone please call -man: goddamn it! -i'm never gonna walk again! -♪ 911. someone please call. (applause and cheering) ♪ donate your guns today! -we'll be right back! -(cheers and applause) hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't know everything. well, i know you asked me to call you the at&t hostess with the mostest.

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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back you know, we have been hearing the term body acceptance a lot recently, but what is it and how do you know if you've caught it? (laughter) for more, joined by seen your women's issues correspondent kristen schaal!

(cheers and applause) >> kristen: thanks, trevor. are you forgetting something? >> trevor: no, no... it's march 1. do you want to wish me happy women's history month? >> trevor: oh, which... so black history month is done already? >> yeah, but you got an extra day because it's leap year. did you do anything special wit? >> trevor: black stuff. oh, i want to know what that is so bad! (laughter) but it's time to talk about women's history. part of our rich cultural tradition is make women feel like there is something wrong with their bodies at all times. too many girls have grown up getting the wrong message about how they should look till now. >> mat tell hasp dated bar by's look. >> the blonde-haired blue-eyed bombshell is changing her look to a line of more ethnically

diverse dolls. >> they're still driving pink convertibles! that's not realistic! get her a '93 '93 isuzu. >> the "sports illustrated" makes us splap splash. for the first time ever, there is a plus-size model, size 16 ashley graham. >> i never thought i would say this, but "sports illustrated," that was a really feminist choice in masturbation material. we've finally shattered the glass bikini. >> trevor: sounds like that would hurt, due, i mean -- but good for them tore choosing a plus-size model. >> just one problem. where you see a plus, ashley graham sees a negative. >> she did talk about her dislike for the term "plus-size" during an interview with ellen degeneres. >> the majority of this room is considered plus-size. hope you feel better about

yourself. (laughter) that's the problem. we're telling women they're plus-size. i've always been told plus-size starts at 8 and goes to 16. >> it starts at 8? 8, trevor! 8! >> trevor: is this good or bad? i don't know what women's sizes are. 8 because it's a curvy number? is that what it is? >> that is a really adorable, but no, okay? plus-size starts at 8 because the modeling world is insane! according to them, i could be a plus-size model -- well, i mean, i couldn't be a model -- could i? i mean, i don't have the cheekbones or the chin, but i -- i do have that angry stare... (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> trevor: kristin... hold on. almost got it. ow! there it is!

>> trevor: are you okay? ow! you're right, trevor, i could be add mole. anyway, i get why ashley graham would have an issue being labeled plus-size. what's important is what other people think of her body. >> cheryl tiegs, remember her? she is slamming graham's full figure. >> i don't like it we're talking about full-figured women because it's glamorizing them. your waste should be small than 35. >> that's right, ladies. your waist should be narrower than cheryl tiegs' world view. (laughter) but to be fair, when she says a woman's waist should be under 35 inches, that's not just her fashion sense. she has extensive medical training. >> that's what dr. oz said and i'm sticking to it. >> kristen: that's right! cheryl tiegs went to medical school at daytime tv university.

(laughter) getting yougetting your medicalm a talk show is like getting your porn from "sports illustrated." there are better sources. >> trevor: good to have backup plan in case wi-fi goes out. >> i see you rubbed one out during the blackout, there ever (laughter) >> trevor: that's still in the packaging. >> the only way a woman gets more valuable with age. the cheryl tiegs doesn't like ashley graham she won't like curvy barbie. >> trevor: is that the new curvy barbie? >> can you imagine what their tea party would be like? here, trevor. you be curvy barbie. i can see you have a connection with her. >> trevor: okay. and i'm cheryl tiegs. >> trevor: okay. hi... i'm cheryl tiegs. wwelcome to my tea party, who ae

you? >> trevor: i'm vanessa... you really built a whole backstory around her, good job, trevor! hi, vanessa. >> trevor: could you please pass me a cupcake? >> no. you look a little unhealthy, plus i'm in this box is that oh, please, please, please? they look delicious! >> oh you know all about delicious, don't you? >> trevor: why are you so mean? >> why are you so fat? >> trevor: come out of the box and say that to my face! i'm sick and tire of people like you saying things about me! in high school you said all those things! you said i'm not good and then -- come out and say that! come out and say it to my face! now! >> trevor! it's a worthless hunk of plastic! trevor, achesly paid a lot of money for that. >> trevor: i'm sorry. i'll pay you back.

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shh... at jet.com, we're always looking for unbelievable money saving innovations. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back! welcome back, everyone! my guest tonight is a comedian whose comedy show at the lynn redgrave theater in new york is called neal brennan, "3 mics"! please welcome neal brennan!

(cheers and applause) ♪ welcome! welcome to the show! >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: i feel bad because i feel like everyone should always say chappelle's show co-creator neal brennan. (cheers and applause) yeah, because you realize that is comedy royalty, the chappelle show -- >> i'm never going to beat it. >> trevor: you think so? i might, but i doubt it. you could have said it. >> trevor: well, i mean, i sort of said it now. >> oh, yeah, that's true. >> trevor: you just made it awkward. >> i did. >> trevor: thank you for being here, buddy. your show is on, but what's more important for us today is it's super tuesday. so are you a trump man? >> it's like when a 16-year-old girl is dating a 25-year-old, and her family's going, like, he's not a good guy. and she's, like, you don't understand my donny! (laughter)

he's a good man! he's going to build us a wall! (laughter) (applause) >> trevor: i know it's an analogy but i love the idea in that story donny's building a wall for this girl. >> yeah, where's the wall. (laughter) >> trevor: bernie. he bernie-hillary thing. >> trevor: what's insane about that is a lot of people were shocked by how well hillary did with black folks. people were saying hillary might not do as well because of her record and things she said and her husband's past but she crushed it. >> the way hillary stood by bill during the lewinsky scandal, she is in the right or die chick all of fame (applause) that's the main reason black people like hillary is because she dresses like stev steve ste.

(applause) >> trevor: i'm so sorry. i am so sorry! (laughter) oh, man, let's talk about your show a little bit. "3 mics." a lot of times, comedians don't really talk about the dark side of comedy, right. >> mm-hmm. >> trevor: in your show, what really connects with me is you talk a lot about depression. >> yeah. >> trevor: you have three mics for that reason. >> yeah. yes. one is standup, one is one-liners, and one is for, like, emotional monologues. the thing i didn't know, like, when event you the show, you were, like, i didn't know you have depression, too. i was, like, you have depression? but what about the dimples, trevor? (laughter) (applause) >> trevor: you know what's funny about it is people go, if you're depressed, you can't

smile. if you're depressed, you can't tell jokes. but as comedians, that's one thing most comedians share is like the monkey on the back of depression. like, i always said to you the thing that's weird is i'm an optimistic depressed person. no, this is true. so, like, if i ever think of suicide or ever thought of suicide i go, yeah, suicide, but then i go, i could go stay on an island, though. >> well, you say that's optimistic, i say you're a richard depressed person. (applause) (laughter) >> trevor: you don't know what island i was talking about. we have islands where i'm from. (laughter) how do you talk about depression in a comedy show without making people get depression in your show? >> i'm honest about it. i've done so many different treatments. i've done ka dr amine, i've done probably five different

medications. i tried something called t.m.s. that worked great, trance cranial magnetic stimulation. people are googling that. they put a wand up to your head and shoot magnetic beams into your head. by the way, covered by insurance. not kidding. yeah. >> trevor: that sounded like scientology. i'm not lying. (laughter) this is a real thing that you do. >> yes, and i did it and it did more for my depression than anything i've ever done. >> trevor: you come out and you're happy? >> i swear, people go, what did you do while you did the treatment? they hooked it up and i sat there for half an hour and watched "the daily show." >> trevor: aww! (cheers and applause) >> trevor: neal brennan. it would work against it, it was very depressing on "the daily show," but -- (laughter) >> trevor: neal brennan,

"3 mics," playing at the lynn redgrave theater here in new york city april 9! neal brennan, every

(cheers and applause) >> trevor: that is our show for tonight! join us tomorrow night at 11:00. now here it is... your moment of zen. ♪ comedy central