wn. i'm his worst f-f-friend. - you guys, come quick. - what, cartman? - it's--why, it's a miracle, you guys.. - what, cartman? what's happened? - look. i put the stem cells from all the fetuses i had next to shakey's, and they are replicating a new shakey's. it worked. - this whole time, you were just using kenny's illness to lift the ban on stem cell research so you could sell your stupid fetuses? - stupid fetuses? it's my own shakey's. - i actually hugged you. i held you in my arms and cried with you. - i figure i only need 100 or so more aborted babies, and i can finish up the kitchen. - aaah! - ahh, kyle. kyle. - hey, i wasn't kenny's worst f-f-friend. cartman was. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, everybody. i'm trevor noah. thank you so much. our guest tonight, all the way from "game of thrones" jamie lannister, give a big hand to nikolaj coster-waldau, everybody, give him a hand, really, give him a hand, he only has one. i think tv is a real thing. but let's get to the big news. right now it looks more certain than ever than donald trump is going to be the republican nominee. and that scares a lot of people.

well, sain people. because crazy people love trump, let's be honest. not just the average joes, trump has also been getting support from prominent citizens people like north korean diplomat dennis rodman, douche bag ambassador kid rock, hard liquor name sake tila tequila and this very nice strongman named mike tyson. hi, mike, i love your punching. now tyson's endorsement is hardly surprising because he and trump have been good friends for decades now. a friendship that even survived tyson's rape conviction. >> one of the leaders of the effort to keep tyson out of prison is donald trump, the casino own wore could lose millions if tyson is unable to fight at his resort. >> i heard about a girl that late in the evening knocked on his door, was taken in, was raped, perhaps, perhaps not. number two, she is dancing in a beauty contest at 8:00 in the morning and i saw the tapes and i see the big smile on her face and she's dancing happily at 8:00 in the morning. >> trevor: well, it looks like

encyclopedia trump rape detective has cracked another case. she was dancing at 8 a.m. so it's con cluesive proof that nothing happened. he solved another one, boys, you guises are di gusting are you serious, he basically-- any worthwhile opponent would exploit that. and also ted cruz would exploit that. >> you want a contrast of this entire race t is donald and mike tyson a convicted rapist versus me standing with carly fiorina and mike pence. (laughter). >> trevor: what an insane time to be alive. when ted cruz is saying the choice is either him and carly fiorina or trump an a convicted rapist. and still you are like hmmmm.

hmmmm. (applause). >> trevor: but trump's not sweating the tyson thing because tomorrow is indiana's primary. and he has a huge indiana endorsement. >> look, i have bobby knight's endorsement. >> an endorsement from indiana university basketball legend bobby knight. known for his hot-temp erred courtside antics. >> looky here. >> trevor: he chucked a chair? that's how angry rep-- republicans are in 2016. just four years ago a republican and a chair could have had a civilized conversation. now that has all changed. and that endorsement makes perfect sense to me because bobby knight is just like donald trump, he is also obsessed with winning and also spends most of his time screaming at young minorities. but at least bobby knight doesn't have a history with rape. except for the time he said the stress of his job was like rape. >> i think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it. i mean, that is just an old term that you are going to use. i'm not talking about the act of

rape. don't misinterpret me there. >> trevor: look at her face. hashtag that look you give when he says just enjoy the rape. like just look at her, look at connie chunk's face. you panninged to gross out connie chu ng a woman without married maury povitch, that is what you did. but looks foachs, it's not fair to attack trump based on the people without endorse him. you wouldn't attack a foot long sub just because jared endorsed it. and so you can't judge trump solely by the people who choose him. it's more important to judge him by the people he chooses. and as we all know, he has very high standards. >> i would get the best people. >> i have the smartest people in this country lined up. >> trevor: yeah. lined up at immigration-- immigration hoping to get passports to other countries that is where the smart people are lined up. country country?

>> any country! that one. that one. now all of this used to seem like a joke but now, now trump is only 241 delegates away from the nomination. and it is time for us to meet the smartest people in the country in tonight's segment profiles in smart winning greatness, america's best people 2016. so let's start with carl paladino. trump's new york campaign cochair. now this is the man who helped lead trump to a crushing victory in new york. a victory that cemented his status as the frontrunner and the worst thing to come out of new york since puke rat which are basically rats that feed on puke. now paladino himself ran for new york governor in 2010 and because of that, we know a lot about him. >> he acknowledged sending a slew of inappropriate e-mails in the past after they were published on a local website here in new york. many of them considered racist and sexist. >> i sent it to a select group of friends. those friends, okay, treated them privately except for obviously one. >> trevor: yeah, obviously one, who had no morals.

who was he? how could an e-mail be that offensive. look at that. what is the point of ian showing that to us. what is that. why don't you show us a picture of the knight and say yeah, it's redacted. what is that. even in africa they would be like that's a lot of black. what is going on there. that is insane. where are the words? it's just racism and sexism. so yes, trump's man paladino may be a bigout but ease's-- bigot but is he only be o the new york team. for a real reflection of the a team you have to go national, people. like his campaign manager. cory lewandowski, a guy whose haircut makes him look like a show less smart forrest gump. so the big question is, what attracted trump to him. >> lewandowski has been around politics, controversy and even arrests his entire political life. >> top aide corey lewandowski charged in florida with a misdemean are charge of battery against former breets batter news reporter michelle fields.

>> fields later tweeted this photo of bruises she attributed to lewandowski's action. >> trevor: in any other campaign, a misdemeanor assault charge might be seen as a negative. but in a trump campaign, that's a qualification. (laughter) look, anyone who has ever run a campaign knows you need more than just bigots and petty thugs to win the nomination. that's why trump has brought in the big guns. >> a paul manafort is brought on, convention manager for trump. >> the quintessential washington insider lobbyist, represent dictators all over the world. >> filipino dictator mars could and golden gorilla leader john as zbinbe ousted ukrainian president. >> a roster of controversial international clients that has been described as the torturer's lobby. >> trevor: wow, torturer an lobbying.

that combines two of the world's most evil things. like manafort might as well have founded racist sidewalk dog [bleep]. it is just like how extreme and evil can one person be? so basically do you understand what this, donald trump's campaign is currently being run by the same guy who represented dictators and genocidal maniacs when they were trying to appear more presidential. and basically his job was to take these nontraditional politicians and make them more palatable to americans. we arrange friendly introductions, news coverage, tens of millions in foreign aid. and swrenly keeping them in power. including, including the madmen who ruled and terrorized nigeria, glie ear and kenya, angola and somalia. so when donald trump needed help remaining his image, the decision was easy for him. he basically just said let's hire the guy without does african dictators. he gets me. yeah. i'm telling you people, this [bleep] is real. for more perspective on this and how the race might play out

we're joined by an expert on brutal political campaigns, everybody! (cheers and applause) good sir, i brieng dire news to you to indiana in the miss westeros. it seems none it cop the ascend of the mad king, a man with neither honor nor volume control with his infan us treasure and villainous advisors threatens to take the throne. each of his warning of the prove see speaks of orange fire that consumed all it touches and burns the land itself to ash. >> trevor: good god, is there nothing good that can come of this? >> well, on the bright side, we'll get to see lots of boobs. >> trevor: organize, i'm in, nikolaj coster-waldau, make your day supreme with dunkin's new bacon supreme omelet breakfast sandwich,

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and i'm just a guy who wantsants to sell him that truck.ck. so i used truecar. it told me what other people in the area paid for the truck i want. and because we're a truecar certified dealership, i already know the truck he wants. so we're on the same page before he even gets here. -it's fair. -and it's fast. look good? looks great. this is how car buying was always meant to be. this is truecar. ♪ >> trevor: welcome back.

now with indiana's elections tomorrow anti-trump forces may face their last chance to deny trump the del gats he needs to secure the nomination. that's right. even with all his wins and votes we could still see a contested convention. and it's hard for an outsider to understand all of this, as ronnie chieng reports. >> malaysia, where i'm from democracy can be a fluid concept. political elite often a us cooed of ignoring the will of the people. that is not the case of america, because america is the. >> greatest dm october see. >> greatest democracy. >> the greatest democracy. >> here people have real power to choose their leaders. and for gop voters that leader is donald trump. >> donald trump will end the primary season with both the most votes and delegates. >> to me this is pretty awesome. >> american democracy is so beautiful. >> well, it is not a perfectly democratic process. >> smell it. >> i don't think are you smelling it. >> i don't really smell

anything. >> maybe are you too jaded. where i am from, a couple elites are making decisions for everybody else and this is clearly not like that. >> for the most part it's not like that but we could be in a situation where no one wins a delegate majority in which case you go to a contested convention. >> so what? >> well, could you have outright bribing of delegates, the voice of the people and the nominating process could essentially be discarded and replaced with the view of the party leadership. >> the constitution here, i'm not seeing anything you just told me. >> a contested convention happens when nobody reaches a delegate majority of 1237. and the candidate with the most vote doesn't necessarily win. if is the trump-- stop trump movement wet dream. i have a question. >> i have been following this for nine months now, every day on the news, arguing overhand size, whose wife is hotter, donald trump's dick an are you telling me after nine months of this [bleep] none of that stuff matters. >> it is possible that none of

it will matter. >> so what the [bleep] did we just sit through all of that for? >> good question. >> but once he started explaining the mechanics of a contested convention i blan to understand the genius of american democracy. >> one of the other candidates could overtake trump on a second ballot or third ballot or it is possible that the republican rules could be rewritten to allow someone who did not compete in the primaries or caucuses to potentially win the nomination. >> so kayne west doesn't have to wait until 2020. >> potentially. >> what a country. trump comes up short and literally anyone could be the republican nominee. kayne, paul ryan, my personal trainer pat. all thanks to gop leaders who simply don't like the guy most people are voting for. this is high concept democracy. i sat down with trump delegates to help them come to terms if their candidate's possible defeat. >> donald trump, he's amassed the most votes, he has a delegate lead which means at the convention he's going to. >> be the nominee. >> yeah, see, that's not how it is supposed to work.

the democracy is so advanced that you remove the people part from it. >> that is a huge problem. >> we disenfranchised all those voters out there. >> millions of people. >> it's wrong. >> what are we teaching kids about our democracy. >> we're teaching them that you can have your say but when you get it wrong an adult will come in and fix your mess. it's how all great democracies work. >> no, not our democracy. >> well, you're wrong. an to show them how the greatest democracy in the world works, i rented a driver ed car and took the instructor's seat. >> i'm the gop establishment. let's drive this car to the white house. tell me why trump should be president. >> he's not polit correct. >> yeah, exactly. he's a loose canon. >> he's an independent thinker. >> es appealing to the common guy. >> time for establishment leaders to go. >> i am not going to let you destroy this country. >> give me back the weill. >> give me the wheel. >> give me back my party! >> come on, guys, the beauty of a contested convention is that you never know who's going to win until every last vote has

been discounted. >> what if there is a surprise, like hey, welcome to the stage our new nominee, it's paul ryan. >> does he have to work that much harder spreaking to other delegates on the floor of the convention. >> we're going to be talking to them about why mr. trump is the better candidate. >> let me ask you, what is your favorite ice cream. >> coconut. >> no, it's paul ryan. >> coconut ice cream. >> it's going to be paul ryan. >> will not be. >> say paul ryan. >> no. >> say ryan. >> no. >> say ry. >> no. >> say p. >> no. >> coconut ice cream. >> will you have paul ryan an will you like it. >> no, i won't. i will put him under the hot water and melt him. >> we're there for a purpose and that purpose is to get mr. trump elected. >> these delegates sound primed for a fight. this convention is going to be off the hook lam. >> there's a lot of reasons why america is not ready for a contested convention. could you see riots, a lot of vy rens. >> not ready? have you seen america? world star, mma. >> we might be seeing that on

the floor of the convention hall. >> yeah, it's going to be awesome. they put this on pay per view if they're spart. >> in other countries bribery filled conventions are a bad thing. not in america. now it's up to indiana primary voters to keep the dream of a skull-cracking bloodbath in cleveland alive. >> trevor: thank you, ronnie chieng. we'll be right back. ♪ this still isn't working. really? i thought it was. no it's... siri, go back seven seconds. what angle are you guys at here?

is that 25 degrees? i don't know, i guess. it's 25. your mouth is open a little bit. is there tongue? is there a little bit of tongue? i don't see tongue. some tongue. hi guys, need you on set for the kiss. great. we'll be out in five, thank you. siri, find game of thrones. no, no, no. do you mind? open apple music. what are you doing? play jeremih. ♪ oh yea. ♪ yeah you know what we're good. what? we're overthinking it. ♪

it was all pencil and paper. started out, the surface pro is very intuitive. with the pressure of my hand i can draw lightly, just like i would with a real pencil. i've been a forensic artist for over 30 years. i do the composite sketches which are the bad guy sketches. you need good resolution, powerful processor because the computer has to start thinking as fast as my brain does. i do this because i want my artwork to help people.

with fans clamoring for our next hit album, we return to our extravagant private studio, where we turn gold into platinum. yes, i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. (ricky gervais) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them are stretching the truth a little bit. one claimed to be four times better. we said, four times better than who? they said, four times better than we used to be. wh-wh-wha? if you're four times better than you used to be and you're still not the best, your tagline should be, "not as rubbish as we were." (vo) only verizon is the nation's most awarded wireless network ever. and now if you buy an lg g5, you get one free. this is the all-new 20wow, it's nice.. let's check it out. do any of you have kids? i do yes. this car has a feature built in called teen driver technology, which lets parent's see how their teens are driving. oh, that's smart.

it even mutes the radio until the seat belt is fastened. will it keep track of how many boys get it in the car? (laughter) cause that could be useful. this is ahead of what my audi has for sure. wish my beamer had that. i didn't even know that technology existed. i'm not in the market for a car but now i may be. >> trevor: welcome back. gi mes tonight is the star of hbo's "game of thrones." >> you imprisoned and humiliated my sister. >> your sister sought the god's mercy and atoned for her sins. >> what about my sins? i broke a sacred oath and stabbed my king in the back. i killed my own cousin. when the gods judge my brother guilty i helped him escape that justice. what atonement do i deserve? >> you would spill blood in this holy place. >> trevor: spoiler alert.

please welcome nikolaj costary-waldau. (applause) thank you for being here, sir. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: may i just say you look as handsome in person as you do on screen. that is very rare. >> oh, well, thank you. >> trevor: thank you so much for being here at the height of everything. >> yeah. >> trevor: you know. >> exciting. >> trevor: you are at the mets gala tonight. >> i am. >> trevor: you should have been getting dressed-- are you dressed. >> no i will have to change again. >> trevor: nice. into something more. >> you have to wear a tuxedo for that thing. >> trevor: you just look like are you in the zone already. you have that vibe to you. you have like superhandsome bad guy vibes to you. >> yeah. >> trevor: like you're going to end the world but the women will be smiling. that's what you have. >> exactly. >> trevor: thank you so much for being here.

jamie lannister, what a character. >> a great character. can i just say, do you follow, i know soccer, football. >> trevor: yes, i do. >> leicester city just won the premiership. >> trevor: yeah people right now are like what is that? >> this is like putting in context, like beginning of the season they were 5,000 to one to win. it is like a year ago if someone had said in a year's time donald trump will be the candidate of the republican party. it is almost as absurd. >> trevor: it is almost as absurd. >> yeah. >> trevor: and just as many people are going crazy about it. >> i know. >> trevor: it really is exciting. >> you are were denmark though. >> yeah. >> trevor: what do you guys think of this whole thing? >> you know, we have different political systems and we appreciate the entertainment value. (laughter) i mean-- . >> trevor: that sounded mean. it's like you are saying our political system is. >> oh, come on. >> trevor: and the american. >> no, no i was just thinking this show, today, without trump,

how much content would you have? >> trevor: how much substantive content would you have, you mean. >> no, but i mean, he's like-- . >> trevor: but all politicians are contention, it is just like he is an orange blanket that covers everything. have you tried to watch the news. >> i have. >> trevor: there is no trump. did you see that e-mail, the redacted e-mail, that is if you took trump out, that would be trump, but instead of black it would be orange. you make a good point. he's everywhere. is he in denmark as well the same way. >> all the time. but the about even bad press is good press. >> trevor: yes. >> i think he lives by that rule. >> trevor: it really feels like he does. are you afraid of him at all as a country. >> i think that thing he said about that he wouldn't human out using nuclear bombs in europe kind of made people go what? we thought-- . >> trevor: he disn mean you, though.

he would use in a country next to you. >> use it over here, it is going to be fine for us. >> trevor: it will-- that's so crazy that you are also affected because you would think denmark, one of those countries where everybody is happy all the time, aren't you up there, you are though, denmark is one of the happiest. >> happiest people in the world, low expectations. >> trevor: what makes denmark so happy? that is something no one ever asks. people will say the standard of living. >> ask bernie sanders. he seems to use it all the time. go to denmark, it's the greatest place. i mean i think-- no, i do believe that equality is a good thing to keep people safe, you know, the fact that there is not-- we're not that different. >> trevor: in terms of the income gap. >> yeah. and the fact that you don't have to have a lot of money to send your kid to school, and health insurance, and all those things. >> trevor: the things that make people happy. what you are saying is that if

the government does nice things for people, they become happy quer. >> i think that is part of it. but at the core i think we're not-- i mean we are very much the same. we are two people, americans, danes, we have the same core of wanting, you know, to believe that you should be able to be whoever you want to be as a person. i think yeah, the political system is-- we have crazy politicians as well. it is not that different. >> trevor: do you in denmark? >> yeah. >> trevor: who is the craze-- craziest politician. >> there is a list. but. >> trevor: give me one name. >> what is his name. >> trevor: i must use that. >> could you help me out? you don't know any. >> a guy called espen-- you know him-- . >> trevor: i can't remember, i was going to say the exact same guy and then you said it, because you lost t i lost it as well. >> terrible. >> trevor: yeah. oh, man, so much fun having you on the show, thank you so much

for joining us. >> thank you. >> "game of thrones" airs suns at 9 p.m. on hbo. at 9 p.m. on hbo. nikolaj coster-waldau, welcome, welcome!et you! today i'm going to show you the all-new 2016 chevy cruze and ask you what you think. but here's the catch. you can only answer in emojis. what emoji would you use to describe the design? (sfx: message sent) i think it's sexy. mm-mm-mm! ...it has available built-in 4g lte wifi (sfx: message sent) rock on. that's excellent. we got wifi. this car gets an epa estimated 40 mpg highway. this car is like a unicorn. it's magical!

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in my gentleman's quarters, we sip champagne

and peruse my art collection, which consists of renaissance classics and more avant-garde pieces. yes, i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> and the next president of the united states, ted cruz! captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) ♪