[screams] - so let me get this straight. that woman over there was trying to get to her balls which were in the knees of a black child whose father is a dolphin. - yeah, that's basically it. - sounds like an open and shut case. all right, let's head 'em out. i'm sorry, kyle. i should i have told you the surgery was cosmetic only. - so does this mean i'm not really a dolphin? - let's get you two up to the clinic, and i'll change you back for a nominal fee. - but what about mr. garrison? he can't go back. - you know what, i'm okay. even though i'm not truly a woman, i think i still like the new me. i'd rather be a woman who can't have periods than a fag. hey, guys! this girl is staying a woman. who wants to pound my vag? girl power. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, joining us from blackish, anthony anderson is here, everybody. really excited. we're going to talk about all things black, and all things thingsish"."

but let's start with the topics that is donald trump campaign. it is a topic, it is noxious, opaque and those go down with the daylight expression of i cannot [bleep] believe this is happening to me. but it is also full of fascinating historical treasures that keep bubbling up to the surface. >> the taier old audio recording where trump apparently pretends to be his own publicist using his name be john miller. >> what is your name. >> i am handling pr because he gets so much of it. frankly he gets called by everybody. he gets called by everybody in the book. actresses, people that you write about, just call to see if they can go out with him. >> trevor: come on. come on! that is so donald trump. only donald trump can brag about donald trump like that. come on, that's-- it's like a fingerprint. like you know donald trump's home security is based on boast recognition technology. that is how he gets in. i'm doing tremendous, big, big

success. beep, welcome home, mr. trump. and it is not just the voice that's the same. there are huge similarities in their vok answer lear. >> my financials show i'm worth more than $10 billion by any stretch of the imagination. >> is he start doing tremendously well financially. >> can i tell you this. >> i can tell you this. >> it is going to be many millions of votes ahead. >> it could cost you many millions of dollars. (laughter). >> trevor: this is so stupid. how is this real news. i don't even get it. donald trump didn't even bother to disguise his voice. or maybe, or maybe he dubt know how to disguise his work. like maybe hes with at home wearing a lady wig and dress on the other end of the phone. trump even admits to being mill are back in 1991 but apparently today's donald trump is someone else entirely. >> are you aware of the tape, is it you? >> no, i don't think it -- i don't know anything about it. you're telling me about it for the first time and it doesn't sound like my voice at all. i have many, many people that are trying to imitate my voice.

and you can imagine that. and this sounds like one of the scams, one of the many scams. doesn't sound like me. >> trevor: why would you lie about something so obvious? it's so benign. that is something you previously admitted to. who are you? like, you know, but i got to say this, bravo, donald trump. or should i say john miller. yeah, who even though he doesn't exist, is the best pr man around. because last thursday everyone was looking for donald trump's tax return and this story breaks and all of a sudden we spend the entire week be looking for john miller, an imaginary man. i mean they even got science involved. >> based on the critical listening and based on some pitch results, statistics and analysis i can conclude with a fair degree of scientific certainty that it is donald trump's voice. >> trevor: thanks, science. yeah! but we all concur with your analysis based on the critical criteria of having ears.

yeah. but you know what, it actually is too bad that no one can track down john miller because he would have been the perfect guy to respond to the next day's trump story. >> a new report by "the new york times" interviewing dozens of women without say he crossed the line including unwelcomed romantic advances over the past four decades. >> according to the report, trurch told one overweight female executive, you like your candy. >> former miss utah temple tagert telling the times trump introduced himself by kissing her on the lips. she thought to himself, oh my god, gross. >> you know, the scariest parts of getting kissed by donald trump is that you are not totally sure at first if it's his mouth touching you or his butt hole. now we've always known that donald trump is sexist, but i must admit t was pretty interesting to read about how he has also been a champion for women in the workplace. for instance back in the 08see

donald trump had a female head of construction which was not common at all. and today his donald ivanka was a key executive in his company. although, unfortunately, that's not the only position he wants to put his daughter in. >> at another point in the article miss universe from 1997 recalled trump asking her if she thought his daughter ivanka who was 16 at the time was quote hot. >> trevor: goddam. every time we try to forget we're constantly forced to remember that donald trump wants to bang his daughter. and apparently has wanted to since she was 16. look, got to take a shower. this is hardly the first time we've heard revelations about donald trump's bad behavior and shady morals and it certainly won't be the last. but there are real victims here. and we should take a moment to sim pathize some of those hardist hit, the republican party. because all of these sordid details are coming out wile they're try so hard to get

behind trump. for my money, the man with the toughest job is gop chairman and reince priebus. >> i want to start with that article in "the new york times." >> they found repeated instances of trump insulting women and making unwanted advances, even in the workplace. chairman priebus, does that bother you? >> well, you know, a lot of things bother me, chris. i'm just saying i think the reason he's where he is at is he represents something much different than the traditional analysis of individual candidates. and yes, everything bothers me, chris. >> trevor: that poor guy. i don't think i've ever seen a hostage actually trying to get stockholm syndrome. it's like reince is just waiting for the brain washing to kick in. come on, come on. this will go so much better once i see my kidnapper as my savior, come on, come on. like if there was a human version of the guy sweating

emoji it would be reince priebus right now. you just want to give him a hug. you have to understand who he is. when he became the chair of republican party five years ago they spent the previous 30 years defining themselves as the principal conservatives, the family values guys. so this is not the job he signed up for. and it shows. >> you're the chairman of the party. this is your nominee. and they're saying that he has mistreated women over the years. >> who i would say is you know, we've been working on this primary for over a year, chris. and i have got to tell you, i think that all these stories that come out, and they come out every couple of weeks, people just don't care. >> trevor: look at this guy's face. it's like he's stuck in an elevator and trump is the world's smelliest fart. he's holding his nose trying to ignore the smell but at the same time trying to convince us to come in. just breathe through your mouth, breathe through your mouth until november, it will be fine. i can taste it, i can taste it.

and what is he even talking about. people just don't care. people do care. and for more on that we turn to senior political correspondent roy wood, jr., everybody. (cheers and applause) roy, you're joining us from the white house, correct? >> what do you make of all these new trump details, lying about impersonating a pr person, harassing women, its. >> that's why we like him. he doesn't pretend to be perfect. he doesn't pretend to be clean. he doesn't pretend to like mexicans like all you phonies out there. he just plays by his own rules. >> trevor: but roy, might there not be a double standard there. >> what you mean, african? >> trevor: well, okay, like let's say what is hypothetically hillary clinton said she wouldn't release her 2015 tax return. >> she did. there she goes again, crooked hillary, there she goes what are you hiding, hillary, all the money from those isis speaking engagements. >> trevor: no, i said hypothetically t is actually trump who won't release his

taxes. >> oh, that's old news, trevor. what do you need to see his taxes for anyway. hell, everybody got [bleep] in their taxes. i tried to write-off my muse tack-- muse tash and an eharmony membership. that is haters. he already told us he is a billionaire watch. more do you need to know. >> trevor: it just seems like. >> trump has a plane with his name on it. do you got a plane with your name on it? see, i didn't think so. so shut the [bleep] up and leave the man alone. i'm tired of people nitpicking him over every little thing. >> trevor: oh, i'm sorry, hold on, roy. oh, wow. >> what is it? what is wrong? >> . >> trevor: dear lord, reportedly one of the presidential candidates kidnapped a baby and tried to trade it to north korea for seven kilos of could cane. >> is it hillary, because if it is, that is another horrifying example of her disastrous trade policy. (laughter)

but if it was trump, most only get five kilos for the baby. it is the art of the deal, baby. >> trevor: we have to cut it there, roy wood, jr., everybody. we'll be right back. i have a blog called "daddy doing work", it's funny that i've been in the news for being a dad. windows 10 is great because i need to keep organized. school, grocery shopping. my face can unlock this computer. that's crazy. macbooks are not able to do that. "hey cortana, remind me we have a play date tomorrow at noon" i need that in my world. anything that makes my life easier, i'm using.

and windows is doing that. if rigcascading caramel on cookie all night,e we'll be over here flowing caramel on cookie. wouldn't it be funny if they were all working late just because they thought we were working late? (all laughing) they're not that stupid. try both. pick a side. twix®.

[just go ahead and take any weempty seat you see... [coughing and sneezing] i hope it's not contagious. [playing flute] ♪ so i do have it. ♪ ♪ [music stops abruptly] ♪ when your mom wakes up, can you tell her about me?

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." now in addition to his troubles with women, donald trump is struggling with another key demographic, latinos. and i don't understand, come on, latinos, how could you guys hate trump. he's the same color as your queso. the question is, does trump have any shots with latinos. for more on this we're joined by our brand new senior contributor eliza cossio, everybody. >> thanks, trevor. excited to be here. quick shoutout to my family and all my drug dealing rapist buds

back in mexico. i miss you guys. >> oh, okay, eliza, obviously, trump has not been very friendly to mexicans, so how do you feel now that he is the pre-- presumptive political-- nominee. >> speaking as a latino, bad, but speaks as a american, very bad t is weird to see the gop slowly em braitioning trump considering how desperately they need the latino vote. >> republicans a couple years ago did this autopsy where they said we need to do better with hispanics. trump is the opposite of what republicans were hoping for. >> according to our abc news "washington post" poll, 81% of hispanics disapprove of trump. >> it's like the spice girl said, if you want to be my lover, can't support all my friends. and then make them pay for a wall. friendship never ends. nice. >> trevor: yeah, yeah. >> great job. but show republicans went with a guy latinos hate the mostment

and we're not a hateful people. even our public beatings end with candy. (laughter) by the way, i flow it looks weird that i was at a kid's birthday party, but don't worry, i was not invited. oh, if latinos don't like trump, then can't they just vote democrat? >> that's not the point, trevor. latinos and republicans have a deal. once every four years they pretend to care about us and we're like oh my god, really? me? no. and then they're like yeah, you're right, no. and then we vote democrat. it's a time-honored tradition like a quins airo or a cinqo de mayo. >> you me cinqo de mayo. >> no a kinko de mayo where we all get together and fax a bunch of [bleep] at kinkos. last year i woke up naked on top of a flatbed scanner. >> trevor: i done even know what that means. >> i [bleep] a scanner, trevor. the point is, with trump as the

nominee, the democrats don't have to work for our vote. >> trevor: so is there anyway trump could become a viable option for latino voters? >> yes. and he doesn't even need to stop hating mexicans. all he needs to do is reframe his message a little. like hey, mexico, your drug dealers you're rapists, you're doctors, you're lawyers. wow, is there anything you guys can't do! >> trevor: come on, do you think that will work. >> i think trump has a lo the of potential with latino voters, he is a basic a telle novela come to life. is he crazy and unpredictable like no other candidate does. la passion dedone allo. >> tonight on la passion de donaldo. >> i found this in your room. i forbid you to see that. >> you don't understand. i have made my choice.

and its el donaldo. >> not in mi casso, adios. now i fall into a coma. >> pap a no! >> wow, i-- i don't even know what that was. >> did you like it? >> i mean, i guess. >> good, because i already made 128 more episodes. >> trevor: yay. eliza cossio, everyone. we'll be right back. (man) ah i forgot to record

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my guest tonight is the star of abc's black-ish. please welcome anthony anderson. (applause) >> stop it! stop it! okay, keep it going, keep it going! keep it going! all right. i like this place. >> trevor: oh, man, this place likes you. welcome to the show. >> thank you, thank you. >> trevor: this is such an insane experience, for the two of us. i will share this for you real quick. this is nothing to do with an

interview, really, a lot of people don't know anthony anderson is one of the reasons i'm in the united states of america. because you executive produced a documentary at some random american guy was making am were you like i'm going to give you money to make this documentary about south african comedy. >> uh-huh. >> trevor: why would you do that? >> i mean, thank you but why would you do that? >> you know, david came to me with some footage he had. you were part of it, and other comics from south africa. and i just found it intriguing. not only your story but the story of south african comic after apartheid. and i was like yo, man, go over to south africa and make this, let's do it. >> trevor: that was in 2009. and because of that documentary, i came to america and did standup for the first time. >> if we're going to tell the story of how you got here-- let's really, let's really tell the coming to america story. so yes, i executive produced this, so yes, because of me, the world knows who you are now.

>> trevor: well, you and my mom. >> but not only that, not only that, but i don't know if the audience knows this, but he was a stand-out in this documentary. and the documentary became all about trevor and his one-man show. and to that time, one-man comedy shows really hadn't been done in south africa. and you know, they looked at trevors alike how dare he have the arrogance to think that he can do this. and he produced a one-man comedy show that went on to be the biggest one man km de show in south africa. he produced it, he didn't think people were going to shoip the first night, he ended up doing two nights in a row sold out in the biggest arena in jorks-burg. and the dvd ended up being the biggest selling comedy dvd in history in south africa. >> trevor: yeah. >> yeah. and then, and then because of that dvd, he got his own talk

show in south africa. >> trevor: the show "black-ish" really started off, i mean many people would agree on a very light note. and all the time, the message in the show has become really strong. it's become one of the preeminent voices in terms of what is happening in the american black culture. >> right. >> trevor: do you think there is a chance that you guys may just change the name of the show to "black"? >> then we would not be on the disney network. we have to keep thatish"" there. if we just change to "black" we'll be on bet and nobody will see us. >> trevor: oh, wow. >> i'm just saying, no. no, but you know what, it's clazy, you know, the creator of our show based on both of our families is running an extraordinary writing room and telling some amazing stories. that resonates with the people, not only black people but just across-the-board. because you know, we're dealing

with issues that everybody deals with, you know, wanting to give a better upbringing to your children, for your children than what you had. living the american dream. this is what it is all about. we're just telling this from an unapologetically black point of view from andre johnson. and you know, the people dig it and we dig doing it every week. >> i think what i dig most about it is that it also to a certain extent redefines what people consider the black experience. so that is what the show deals with a lot. >> uh-huh. >> a lot of people have been, i guess, conditioned to believe that black huus be-- must be associated with sufficienterring, black must be associated with a certain way of acting as opposed to being. and the show really tackles that, i finement like andre deals with that with his children and so does andre's dad. >> well, this is what we had to deal with, you know. it's pulled from our lives, plan. and you know, we pride ourselves on being authentic in the stories that we sell. -- tell. an i think that is what really

hits home with people. it's just authentic and we tell these stories as truthfully as we can and as funny as we can. and you know, its-- a lot of people think, you know, we're pulling the vail back. >> trevor: yes. >> what goes on in our community and giving them a sneak peek in. well, it's just life and how we live and what we do. >> trevor: it's something that has also gotten you into some pretty fancy establishments. i notice on your instagram you are a frequent visiter of the white house. >> yes, i am. >> trevor: your whole family went to-- well, interesting, your mom. >> right. >> trevor: that was a fun story. >> it funny. so this is the obama's last year in office. so i made it a point that our entire cast could bring their entire family to the white house. so we were there for easter. i called my mom up, hey, mom, what are you doing this weekend. oh, why, baby. i said i'm going to the white house. i want you to come to the white house and meet the president for me.

she said ooh. >> i said what do you mean ooh, she said ooh, baby i'm going to vegas. i said mama, vegas for what. ooh, i'm going to play bingo, baby. my mother has been a diked to bingo for 35 years. i said mama, this is your one and only chance to meet the first and probably last black president of these united states of america. >> trevor: don't jinx america. >> okay, i won't jinx. she said baby, i paid my $300. i was like mama, it is $300. i will give you $300. i don't know if i can change to the girl's name. this is what you do. me and the girls are going to d.c. in august, why don't you call the president and tell him it is me plus six. >> i was like mama, i said i don't have it like that i just can't call up and hey, barry, yeah, my mama is coming with her bingo buddies, so i said mama, either you come with me now or you don't meet the president. she said okay, i know six is too many, just me plus two. >> i said mama, come with me now

or you don't meet the president. my mother went to bingo in vegas. went to bingo in vegas. and lost, and lost all her money! >> trevor: oh, thank you so much for being here. anthony anderson, everybody. blacker-ish wednesday, at 9:30 p.m. on abc. we'll be right badge. clock, tied at 95... my man, dwyane wade!

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for tuning in. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is, your moment of zen. >> as one of the great philosophers of our time has said, haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. knowing who you are helps you shake it off.