- welcome back to the only tv show that would fly into a drunken rage if it couldn't get any fucking lobster mac and cheese. next week, this smells like a bad idea. - go! [loud music playing] - that just opens your sinuses right up. follow my moments on twitter, whatever the heck that means. check out our blog, in english only. tickets go on sale tomorrow for my annual show in ren.0. and finally, nobody loves a good new internet trend more than moi. - oh, no. your phone! put your phone in there. careful. careful! josh, careful! - pause. that's called extreme phone pinching. it's where you use two fingers to dangle your phone in precarious situations. it's incredibly nerve-racking to watch. - holy crap, tyler. - dude, what are you-- - oh, my gosh. - in the elevator? the exhilaration! the exhilaration!

- i wouldn't be surprised if those geeks over at applecare were behind this meme just trying to drum up a little more "biz-nass." nobody remembers that i was pinching back in 2001 with first generation ipods. just sayin'. - pucker! pucker. [all shouting excitedly] - it's going in the cereal! [all talking excitedly] - oh, it's hanging by a thread. - not in the wood chipper. - tighter. - now drop it-- no! - oh! - oh! - what a difference a decade makes. now i've got a full head of hair and these tired ol' cheeks couldn't pinch a 15-inch macbook pro. all right, got to get back to my rack. good night.

>> from comedy central world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the show! welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. tonight, co-founder of the "huffington post," arianna huffington is joining us! (cheers and applause) interesting news coming out of hong kong. >> here in hong kong, pro democracy advocates have been gathering in the downtown business district of the top official is in town and officials are trying to shield

him from protesters. authorities have glued town pavement bricks to prevent them from being thrown. >> they started gluing down their sidewalks so that protesters can't grab the bricks and throw them? you have to admit that's a pretty smart solution. yeah, because it stops the violence and it also makes the protesters look weak! i'll show you, government! aaahhh! aaahhh! you know, i'll just write a letter when i don't want to go to the gym. it's already interesting logic from the chinese government. they're, like, should we spend money and address concerns of the citizens? somebody says, nah, let's buy glue. (laughter) a story that's particularly divisive in the past few vehicles, the rights of transgender people. with more states restricting bathroom bills, only a matter of time before the president stepped in. >> the obama administration sent out a directive to every public school in the country to allow

transgender students to use the bathroom of their chosen gender. >> some states are pushing back, including texas. >> when you pass the ordinances and rules particularly in the adult sector, it says any person or man whosms like he's a woman can go in. they can be dressed like an ordinary man. what this creates is a great loophole for the sexual predators and offenders -- >> trevor: a loophole, it creates a loophole. that's what perverts have been waiting for, loopholes. (laughter) this argument falls flat every single time. we have labeled these people as perverts, as sex offenders, and you think they're waiting for the laws to change? that's what you're thinking? guys are going, man, i want to flash people in the bathroom so badly! when are they going to change the laws to accommodate me! it falls flat every single time. if they're not talking about

perverts, other people say, oh, it's about privacy. privacy. >> that's where there is an expectation of privacy. when you go into a restroom or your wife goes into a restroom, you assume the only other people going into that restroom or shower facility will be a person of the same gender. that's been an expectation of privacy all of us have had for years. >> trevor: and you know what? i understand that. privacy. we all expect a certain level of privacy. i've chatted to some of my friends, you know, who are parents of young girls, and they go, hey, i don't know if i would be comfortable with my daughter being in the same bathroom as an exposed penis, and i understand that. it's not like i don't understand that completely because i'm not comfortable being in the bathroom with an exposed penis. (laughter) and i'm a man. this is something that nobody's comfortable with. nobody likes being around a penis that they didn't plan to

see. this is something we all agreed on. and in life, there are certain types of privacy we forego. it's one of the deals we make to be part of society. that's what we do. when i go to the gym, i have to accept the fact that in the change room there may be a man standing there blow drying his balls -- (laughter) i don't want to see that! nobody wants to see that! you do understand that the transgender population in america is close to zero -- closer to zero than 1%. the chance of you bumping into a transgender person in the bathroom is almost zero person but the chance of a transgender person needing a bathroom is 100%. they're dealing with their own (bleep), now you're giving them yours! (laughter) it's so absurd. in society, we're saying, no,

this is disgusting and something we have to deal with. i'm not comfortable with it. we're not comfortable with many things in society but we've learned to get over it. you know what else people say? it's not natural. it's not natural. >> as a practical matter, how is this exactly going to work? what happens when a man with male parts decides that he is really a woman and would like to take a shower in the ladies' locker room and there he is with his male parts exposed? now, is this really something people are really going to think is okay in the name of civil rights? i don't think so. i think the absurdity of this is so strong -- >> trevor: what's absurd is that you were talking to us with a neck that looks like a scrotum while you are speaking, and we -- we have to be comfortable with that! what is that? what is that going on over there? that is absurd. what is that necksticles?

what is that? (laughter) we have to accept that in society. i love it when people say, this is not natural, it's not natural, it's all absurd! if you think about it, this whole conversation, if you replace transgender with any other group in society, you realize we have been here before, we've had this conversation about minorities before. you know, people said that about gay people five or ten years ago. the conversation is you gonna have gay guys in the same bathroom as a man? is he going to be looking at my junk? grab it if hens goetz a chance? jerk on it? is he going to tickle my balls? what is he going to do that corkscrew thing? (laughter) you've thought about this a lot, my friend. i'm just saying, i want to know what's going to happen! am i going to like it, is that what's going to happen? huh? >> trevor are we going to get

married? who's the husband? are we going to adopt? it's ludicrous. you're coming up with hypotheticals. everyone says this is absurd! now we look at gay people as it is the most normal thing. because it is normal. society evolves all the time. like, i see gay people kissing now and it's not even a thing. i see gay people kissing and i'll be like, hearings stop that! i'm trying to watch "brokeback mountain"! i can't see! get out of the way! (laughter) society has done this over and over again. it's so painful. the same thing was said about black people. it's absurd! we can't share the bathroom with black people. white and black people in the same bathroom! absurd! what a (bleep) measuring contest? what's going to happen when black people come into -- that seems absurd now. we move forward as society and those notions are absurd.

we can't think why anyone would want to have a multiracial bathroom. no reason to have it. what do they think, black people (bleep) differently? do they think black people are coming in n.b.a. style dunking their turds? no, i gotta lay it up! i don't like that! i don't like that! (laughter) we've had this conversation, come to the same conclusion, we can progress. it is about discomfort. that's what progress is about, it makes you uncomfortable. in this whole situation, you know who i really blame? i blame the penis. yeah, i blame the penis. that's what this is really about. no one wants to see a penis. because if you notice, no one's having the conversation the other way. no one's going to be saying, what, so there's going to be a vagina in the men's room? no one's saying that. it's the penis. penises are disgusting. it's this thing. it's like a muppet nose attached

to the front of your body, like the leftover pieces the man didn't know how to use, like, yeah, whatever, you will figure them out. they're disgusting. men grow their bellies so they don't have to see them anymore. penises are disgusting and nobody wants to see them. (laughter) we've got to remember this is about progress. you move forward even when it frightens you. it does feel like transgender acceptance has proved fast. the past one to three years, it's moved really fast. just imagine for a second being a 55-year-old trans woman and you've lived your entire life worried about bathrooms and locker rooms. the only thing trans people is saying now is what took you guys so long because i feel like i have been holding it forever? we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)

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>> trevor: welcome back! (cheers and applause) now, contrary to what mainstream media and john kasich's jealousy journals say, bernie sanders is still in the presidential race. since the news spends most of its time talking about donald trump, we figured we would give bernie sanders his due in our new segment bern baby bern. (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪ ♪ #. >> roy: what's up, everyone? welcome to bern baby bern. now that we know that republicans have basically decided to nominate an orange julius caesar, it's clear that the democrats have to make a choice. it's either bernie sanders or -- >> don't you dare say her name. we know the bernie campaign is the underdog but like any underdog we know if we work hard we can pull this one out and win like in "rocky." >> roy: rocky lost. >> eliza: like that jamaican

blob sed team. >> roy: had to walk. >> eliza: hilary swank in "million dollar baby." >> roy: she died. >> it was another beak for bernie bros and broettes. >> sanders beating hillary clinton more than 40,000 votes. >> we'll continue to fight for every last vote until june 14th and then we're going to take our fight into the convention. (cheers and applause) >> roy: and we're going to own that convention like goldman sachs owns hillary clinton! look, bernie is on a terned we should have probably won kentucky, too. >> eliza: till hillary's people stole it! hey you big money bastards, go ken (bleep)-y yourselves. >> roy: at the convention, neither he nor hillary will have

enough pledged delegates. this is still in play. >> eliza: that's why we fight for every delegate by any means necessary. >> roy: don't do that. >> why? >> nevada's democratic convention erupted in chaos over the weekend. >> bernie supporters at the conventiony delegates are awarded. >> angry over delegate counts? >> it was so heated police broke it up and cleared the place. ♪ it's getting hot in here ♪ so recount all the votes >> roy: i wasn't so hot on all that unruly behavior. we can't lash out. >> eliza: we have to be more targeted. not everyone is against us. just the people who aren't with us. like the corrupt officials, they believe some soldiers got the nevada dnc's persona chair's pel woman and said what's up. >> roberta lange was flooded with death threats even to her voicemail. >> you are an awful person and

you suck and you (bleep) and i hope you suffer. >> people like you should be hung in public execution to show this world that we won't stand for this sort of corruption. i don't know what kind of money they're paying you, but i don't know how you sleep at night, you're a sick, twisted piece of (bleep). >> eliza: that's passion. >> roy: no, that's a felony. what's with how calm this guy was? yes, i'm going to come and kill you -- like that guy is giving death threats in between tech support. >> eliza: that was a death prediction, not a death threat. stop focusing on the negative. he took initiative. that's exactly the type of person we need to help us shape the platform. >> roy: but you keep up the mob behavior, the platform will be burned down. look, yes the system is broken and people want an outsider but what's always separated us from trvrp's people is our positive message. >> eliza: i know didn't you see the bird land when bernie gave the speech last month? it was like a message from an

atheist angel saying free college, free college! (bleep) hillary, free college! >> roy: bernie was totally chill with that bird which i don't think he would condone violence. >> violence is unacceptable. harassing individuals is unacceptable. >> eliza: man, bernie is getting soft. i hope he still supports bernie. >> roy: look, whatever happens, we're going all the way to the conventions to do whatever we can to make sure bernie becomes the next president. we're organizing. >> yes. >> trevor: we're phone banking. >> yes, we're punching, we're slapping, we're holding certain people hostage! >> roy: i don't think that's what we want to do. the point is we need to unit to stop trump, even though it means -- i hate to say it. >> no, you don't have to say it. >> roy: i gotta say it. >> eliza: i will staple your lips together. >> roy: if bernie doesn't win we have to vote democrat even if it means hillary. >> eliza: hillary!

nooooooo! hilary will not be president ever! she will not be president! ly not have her be my president! she will not be president! (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> trevor: well -- >> roy: well, that's our show. tune in next week as we once again gently reform the system from within. by the way, if you pull this (bleep) at the convention, who tuning the cops are going to come for? >> eliza: i'm with you! >> roy: stop doing that! stop it! can't do that! >> trevor: roy wood, jr. and

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my kids, watching this at home - you should be asleep right now! pause for laughter. ah, okay, they're playing me off. thank you so much! i'll be a lot more natural. ♪ who's the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate? miss monroe, eat a snickers. why? you get a little cranky when you're hungry. better? much better. this scene will never make the cut. ♪ "lean on me♪ by telekinesis ♪

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>> trevor: welcome back to the "the daily show." my guest tonight is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of the "huffington post." her new book is called "the sleep revolution." please welcome arianna huffington! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: thank you very much for being here. >> thank you. i love your show. >> trevor: i love your site. i feel like i've spent years and years reading articles on your sites, and i mean years as in actual time spent. >> i hope not at the expense of your sleep, trevor. (laughter) >> trevor: i like that you're on brand. when you start a conversation

about sleep, for most people, this is not what you would write a book about. most people read books to fall asleep, and you have written a book about sleep. the sleep revolution, in fact. >> i would actually consider it a personal victory if you are reading my book in bed and you fell asleep reading it. (laughter) >> trevor: i like that you use "revolution," though, because it seems like the opposite word for "sleep." like a very sleepy revolution. i'll do it tomorrow. >> no, when the revolution succeeds, it will actually be amazing because right now we're living under the collective delusion that sleep deprivation is essential for success and all modern science shows the opposite. >> trevor: let's talk about that. you are extremely successful. you are jetsetting, writing books, editor-in-chief at the "huffington post," you have to be on top of everything. surely you don't have time to sleep, though. >> i get eight hours a night 95% of the time and that makes me

much more effective and it also makes me much more joyful. it's not just about getting (bleep) done, as you would say, it's also about being present and bringing joy and gratitude to what i'm doing. you said once, because i stalk you on social media -- >> trevor: i've noticed. i stalk you, too. >> i noticed you said once sleep is your drug. >> trevor: yes. >> that you can go anywhere, you can see anything, and you can do that without giving anybody drugs to get a fix. >> trevor: it's an opportunity to explore. >> to drug is a performance enhancement. sleep is a performance enhancement drug. look at athletes. they improve their sleep and their stats improve. >> trevor: and take steroids their stats improve. >> not anymore. not the best ones. not andré and kobe bryant and lebron james. it's all changing. >> trevor: what's fascinating about the sleep revolution, you

would think the book is you need to sleep more to be rested, but it's more than that. i am particularly trld in the fact that you talk about decisionmaking and what happens with it, and how it applies to the presidential race, for instance. hillary clinton, when she was talking at nancy reagan's funeral came out and said nancy reagan was at the forefront of the discussion, you know, with regards to aids and gay people and everyone lashed out and then hillary made a mistake -- >> i was exhausted. >> trevor: exactly. >> you remember ted cruz. >> trevor: we'll never forget ted cruz. >> just tenays before he suspended his campaign, he said in a fundraising letter bragging about how he sacrificed his sleep and health for the country. why would we want a sick, exhausted political leader? i don't get that. but that's the problem. politicians brag about it instead of effectively admitting they're making decisions while

drunk because that's what science shows sny love it, they're making decisions while drunk. does that mean donald trump never sleeps? or does he sleep too much? which one is it? >> donald trump brags that he only gets about four hours' sleep and sleeps with his phone and in the middle of the night he retweets mussolini -- (laughter) >> trevor: donald trump needs a nap. >> he needs a lot more than that. (laughter) but in the meantime, we nu the media need to do our job. we at the "huffington post" are doing our job. traditional media are trying to whitewash and mainstream him. >> trevor: people go what is the line because on the one hand you are saying as the "huffington post" some people would say journalists are meant to be beyond partisanship. journalism is supposed to present you the facts and have you to make the decision for yourself. >> yes, that's what i'm saying. i want to present the viewers and the readers with the facts. the facts are that donald trump is racist, that he's a sexist,

that he's a m misogynist. (cheers and applause) these are the facts. >> trevor: and on top of all of that, he needs more sleep. >> yes, but not before the campaign because the more sleep deprived he is, the more mistakes he'll make. and he's the only person in the universe that i don't want to get more sleep. (laughter) >> trevor: we'll make sure that doesn't happen. outside donald trump's house, we'll be making sure he does not get more sleep. thank you so much. this is a really fascinating read. arianna huffington. we'll be right back! (cheers and applause) owen! hey kevin. hey, fancy seeing you here. uh, i live right over there actually. you've been to my place. no, i wasn't...oh look, you dropped something. it's your resume with a 20 dollar bill taped to it. that's weird. you want to work for ge too. hahaha, what? well we're always looking for developers

who are up for big world changing challenges like making planes, trains and hospitals run better. why don't you check your new watch and tell me what time i should be there. oh, i don't hire people. i'm a developer. i'm gonna need monday off. again, not my call.

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tonight. thank you for tuning. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> it is my honor to introduce vice president joe biden (applause) >> thank you.