>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much, everybody! i'm trevor noah. i'm excited. our guest tonight, miss u.s.a. 2016 deshauna barber is here! (cheers and applause) yeah! that's right, people! miss u.s.a.! miss u.s.a.! miss u.s.a.! (audience chanting miss u.s.a.) okay, i'll work on that. first, breaking news. euro 2016 soccer tournament is happening now in france and it is (bleep) getting crazy. >> violence among football fans for a third straight day in france and english and russian fans who met in the europe 2016 championship clashed again thursday. >> this is a thug's eye view of violence. a russian hooligan filming his rampage through the streets of marseilles. >> trevor: i am shocked and disgusted -- green striped

shorts, people! this is france. you have to up your riot fashion! by the way, russia, do you guys need dash cams on everything? (laughter) the violence between the russian and british fans has been insane which shows the difference between american and european football. in europe, it's the fans that get the concussions, and the british are partly to blame because they have been taunting the russian fans in the most british way possible -- with pub songs. (singing) >> trevor: (bleep) off russia! we're england and wales! (bleep) russia! it's not very catchy. i understand, but it's not catchy. you need to work on catchy tunes. you need to be like,. ♪ hey, i just met you, this is crazy but (bleep) off russia ♪

(laughter) we turn to congress, despite the gun violence, they fail to pass laws making it harderred to get guns for bad guys. chris murphy decided he'd had enough yesterday. he staged a marathon speech. a filibuster. >> we've got to show a signal to the american public that we care so deeply about the consequences of inaction that we are at the very least going to stop this process from moving forward until we can't stand any longer. >> trevor: yes. yes. (applause) yes. and he meant it. murphy and his colleagues filibuster for 15 hours! 15 hours of talking, all as dr. ben carson calls it, ordering lunch. (laughter) tell -- me -- again -- what -- size -- of -- soda -- you -- maintain -- in -- this -- eh --

establishment. (laughter) for those of you who don't owe, a filibuster is when a senator talks as long as he can to prevent anything else from getting done. it's tantric legislating. have you watched the show cops? it's basically when they pull someone over for stealing the car and the perp in the car filibusterrrrrs. the cop says, did you steal this car? he says, well, you know what happened, officer, i was at my friend's darnell's house and -- let me tell you about darnell, man. he was saying that he -- that's a filibuster. it was riveting. people were actually watching c-span on purpose. not just because they'd fallen down and couldn't reach the remote. and murphy talked and talked and talked and people on twitter were calling him a hero and he was. but you know who the real hero was? that stenographer.

(applause) you think standing for 15 hours is hard? try doing it with a type writer strapped to your chest! can you imagine that poor woman who no one warned and she was just standing there going, oh, really? really? you couldn't have warned me? really? would have been nicely to get a heads up if your opinion planning to talk for 15 -- oh, some of us have families. you could have warned me to put on my chef currys, at least, yeah, because they are fire! (laughter) what is this filibuster about? chris murphy said he wouldn't stop until congress could agree on gun control. one to close loopholes to forbid people from buying guns from shows or internet without a gun

check. he got help from elizabeth warren who tagged in dikembe dik durbin, john cena who tagged in bobby flay. the point is watching these people and their passion was epic. >> i want to start by thanking my friend chris murphy. i'm proud he is forcing us to have this conversation. >> after all of these mass shootings, congress must do something, right? they must respond. >> enough! enough! enough! >> we can ban rambo-style assault weapons. >> i have said if you need a ak-47, ar-47 to hunt a deer, you ought to stick to fishing because that is not the weapon of choice of real sportsmen in my state. >> trevor: oh! oh! (cheers and applause) durbin with the burn!

durbin's like, a real hunter doesn't need an assault rifle to kill a deer! yeah, because you know when dick durbin goes into the woods to kill a deer. he doesn't reach for no ar-15, no, too easy. he goes in with nothing but a loin cloth and one of those plastic takeout spoons. yeah! he scoops the deer to death! (laughter) sometimes maybe the deer escapes, but that's school because, later at home when the deer is talking to his deer wife saying, honey, we've got to get out of here! there is a mad man running around with a plastic spoon, he's a maniac! when the wife turns to him, pulls the mask off, surprises him, it's dick durbin! checkmate, mother (bleep)! (cheers and applause) so after 15 hours, democrats forced senate republicans to agree to finally bring these bills to the floor.

you know what hat means, people -- they got the vote! yes! they got the vote! (cheers and applause) (humming happy tune) i apologize for that shabby display. we didn't actually have a budget allocated for the senate actually agreeing on something. so we didn't have time to buy balloons. so, now, the republicans have agreed, right? let's find out the specifics of some of what they will actually be voting only on. >> the first would block those on terrorist watch list force buying a gun. the second would require background checks for guns sold at gun shows and online retailers. >> trevor: i understand this but still find it weird you can buy a gun on the internet. i can't even watch porn without lying about my age. you have two bills, the first to

stop anyone observe the terror watch list from buying a gun. which shouldn't even have to be up for discussions -- the discussion, should we let terrorists get guns? i'm going to say no -- yes -- no, no, no. it seems obvious. the truth is, the terror watch list should be up for discussion. it's not as formal as it sounds. you realize it's a secret list anyone could be put on at anytime. the terror watch list is kind of like the list girls controlled in high school to determine who was cool or not. i know a secret terror list that limits your rights, seems acceptable right now because it's in this guy's control. in five months, god forbid, that list could be in the tiny, tiny hands of bronze stalin. so you have to think about it. (applause) no, democrats aren't alone in proposing a law to limit access to guns for people on the terror watch list. the republicans have their own

version. except it doesn't ban people on the list from getting a gun. it gives the f.b.i. 72 hours to see if they can find a reason to stop the gun sale. experts say 72 hours is not enough time to find probable cause. both of these, th the terror wah list bills are problematic. in their own way. but the other bill that senator murphy won a vote on is more promises because it would close the loophole that allows people to buy guns from gun shows and over the internet without a background check, and the senate tried to get universal background checks off to sandy hook but republicans blocked it. now thanks to murphy's filibuster and his bullet proof bladder maybe they can have a chance to do some things. congress has been blocked for a long time and maybe these bills aren't the greatest. one of the experts we talked to used the phrase "a piece of

crap." but like anybody with constipation will tell you, sometimes passing a little (bleep) is exactly what you need. we'll be right back ♪ my 5-hour is my morning wakeup call. my 5-hour makes me super dad. my 5-hour keeps me on my toes. my 5-hour's all business. my 5-hour keeps me working my 5-hour energizes my ride. my 5-hour gets me up and out the door. what's your 5-hour? what's your 5-hour? what's your 5-hour?

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"the daily show"! it's time for us to talk about australia. you know how you've always wanted to go to see all the unique wildlife? the good news, you can stop worrying about it because thanks to humans there is a lot less to

see. a story we cover in our news segment "law & order saavu: special australian animal victims unit." to our first victim! >> for the first time ever a mammal species appears to have been wiped out, made extinct by human-induced climate change. this poor little rat, i suppose is what it is, is no more. >> trevor: she was a little flippant there. one minute we're sad and then she's, like, this poor little rat, i suppose... you're a research lady -- but it really is a sobering milestone. the first animal to go extinct from climate change. although are you sure global warming that killed it and not cholesterol? huh? yeah? maybe you should have considered being a salad rat. yeah, yeah. our second victim is actually a newly-discovered species, a marsupial that's endangered, though we can agree it's going out in style. >> they're cute, cuddly and

threatened with extension. the reasons why will shock you. scientists say these newly discovered marsupials mate with such intensity it kills the males, cutting their population in half. males mate for up to 14 hours a day. >> trevor: yes, yes, they mate 14 hours a day. (laughter) let's be blunt, people, these little guys are (bleep) themselves to death! (applause) this is why it's so important to have hobbies! this whole tragedy could have been avoided if someone had just taught them needlepoint! that's all! our logging is threatening their habitats and they're dying because they have no place to live and all they want to do is bone. which means the next species to go extinct is bass players. and human stress on wildlife habitat can lead to unintended consz queens. just ask a koala.

>> the habitat doesn't work because populations become inbred and leads to other problems. >> nielsen means a stunning and slightly uncomfortable reality threatening koalas. chlamydia, a sexually-transmitted disease is >> trevor: ah... koala chlamydia! what a sweet disease! oh, he gave you koala chlamydia? you better keep him, girl! australian officials are using s.t.d.s against invasive species like carp. >> estimated a staged release of a carp herpes virus will kill at least 70% of the pest fish in what the federal government has dubbed a "carpageddon."

>> trevor: "carpageddon"? they're planning to kill the fish with herpes! this really doesn't sound like a good idea. it's like the movie where a scientist has a brilliant idea but creates supersharks that fly and gives you genital warts or something. (laughter) australia's plan is to give the carp herpes. who has to (bleep) a fish? (applause) ah, jerry, word around the office... well, there's no way to delicately say this -- paula in accounting said you had a certain, uh, condition and, uh, well, uh, here's a carp and, uh, and a c.d. and we'll leave you two alone for a bit.

(laughter) this carp invasion may sound like a small problem but it's got a lot of australians in government worked up. >> we are disgusted with these mud-sucking creatures! we don't have to deal with the caaaaarp! we've got to get rid of the caaaaarp! >> trevor: okay, duffed! don't get angry! what, did your mom cheat on your dad with a caaaaarp or something? if she did, she probably has herpes. i will say, look how much fun australian legislators are having. you know what they have? gun control. think of all the time they don't spend arguing about guns that they can devote deciding which s.t.d.s to give which fish. and if america gets gun control

problems under control, a decade from now you can give carp full-blown aids! that's a dream baby!

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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back! tonight's guest is the newly-crowned miss u.s.a. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> trevor: please welcome deshauna barber! (cheers and applause)

>> wow! >> trevor: welcome to the show and congratulations miss u.s.a. >> thank you! >> trevor: what an amazing title! look at the sash! >> yeah, isn't it pretty! it's got diamonds, you know! (applause) >> trevor: it is amazing! can i ask you a question? when you were standing on that stage, is there a moment where you win and go, is this real? >> i'm still trying to register it now. >> trevor: are you still waiting for steve harvey to come out? >> i'm waiting for him to say, you know what? i made a mistake. waiting on it. >> trevor: they didn't make a mistake. congratulations. >> thank you! >> trevor: your title is miss u.s.a. you obviously dreamt about this as a child because you were in a lot of beauty pageants growing up. in fact, you were winning many beauty pageants growing up. how do you get into that as a kid? how do you just go, yeah, i'm

hot. (laughter) >> actually, i lost a lot. i started competing when i was 19 and i lost every single one until last year. >> trevor: you lost every single competition? >> every single one in the miss universe system, yes, i lost every single one. >> trevor: so this is basically a rocky story, then. >> yeah, you know! >> trevor: yeah! i mean, you just came up! >> i came up! i'm miss u.s.a. now. i came up the steps, stopped at d.c., got miss u.s.a., trying to end at universe. >> trevor: that's a tough competition, miss universe. is it true you have to look out for the back stabbing? i've heard of putting sticky things in your shoe so that if you walk you fall. >> and you hear about thenary in the shampoo and the bleach on the dress. but it didn't happen, surprisingly. >> trevor: to you. (laughter) you were also the first

miss u.s.a. actively serving in the military. >> yeah, maybe they were scared of me. (cheers and applause) i think they were a little bit scared. >> trevor: i think they were more than a little bit scared. >> like, i don't know, she may have something hidden up her sleeve. let's not mess with her. she's a soldier. that's very possible. >> trevor: you are a soldier. >> i am. >> trevor: you talk about how you had to go through training, you had to fight men in combat training, for instance, some of the biggest guys. what are you thinking when that is happening? >> i think they try to test you because you're smaller, so they say, hey, barbara, take the 200-pound guy and see how it goes. a lot of the techniques they teach you actually does work. so i had him in a choke hold for a while. i felt pretty powerful after that, so it works out. (applause) >> trevor: i just love that idea that you are just choking a 200-pound man. >> yeah! >> trevor: like with the sash, choking the man. (laughter) you have a platform now, though.

>> i do. >> trevor: and a platform you are very actively using. you speaking out. i mean, it's a beautiful opportunity for you because you're in the military and you are being very vocal and using your miss u.s.a. to speak about veterans, speaking about mental health, ptsd. can you tell us about that? >> i'm so excited to be miss u.s.a. and not only to represent the soldiers in the u.s. army reserves but to talk about ptsd care for our soldiers, making sure they have the services they need when they return from deployment. i have a best friend deployed to afghanistan now and i want her to have all the resources she needs when she returns because in the military you're taught to be tough and be able to deal with things but that can be a little difficult when you're battling those internal battles and you're having to deal with the things you dealt with in combat. and it's pretty big in terms of how it's impacting our country. 22 veterans commit suicide each day and i hope one day that

number goes to zero. >> trevor: with your help, it probably will. thank you so much for being here. and congratulations once again. deshauna barber, miss u.s.a.! we'll be right back! (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪sorry i'm not love ♪i'm leaving in my thoughts

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>> trevor: thank you so much for tuning in and joining us! here it is, your moment of zen. >> last thing, have you ever seen the movie caddy shack? >> what? >> caddy shack, the movie? >> i don't know. i don't know. >> the part about the dalai lama? have you played golf? [ cheers and applause ] >> welcome back to "the kelly file." later in the program, undeniable proof that the historical figure

blackula was in fact white. but first, it was a long week for new jersey governor chris christie. first he placed nurse kaci hickox into quarantine even though she had no symptoms of ebola. then he quickly reversed that decision when the white house and public opinion turned against him. governor christie joins us here today. >> yeah, what? >> governor, what do you say to miss hickox's claims that her quarantine was inhumane? >> well, with all due respect, megyn, you need to shut the hell up. miss hickox got a tent in a parking lot with her own port-a-potty. in new jersey, that's called a luxury condo. miss hickox also had access to the internet and some of the best takeout food in newark. i'm talking about places like zuccarelli's bar and grill and cucuzzella's bakery and the calzone emporium down on route 35. >> well, the cdc called your quarantine rules draconian. >> look, my only job is to protect the people of new jersey. and believe me, they need protection. their immune systems are already under attack from tattoo infections t