the past week, there's been a lot of confusion, and so we have asked for this assemblyis asse to clarify the difference between goth kidse diffe let us make it abundantly clear:et us if you hate life, truly hate the sun,f you ha and need to smoke and drink coffeend dnk you are goth. if, however, you like dressing in black 'cause it's fun, fun, enjoy putting sparkles on your cheeks and following the occulttheu while avoiding things that are bad for your health, then you are most likelyyou a douche bag vampire-wannabe boner.e- because anybody who thinks they are actually a vampirehey is freaking retarded.is fi [cheers and applause] app [cheers and applause] come captioning sponsored by comedy central >> from cleveland, the city that taught lebron james to cry, it is the 2016 republican national convention, the mission accomplished. night two, last chance to say

something, paul ryan. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, everyone, i'm trevor noah. this is night two of our republican national convention coverage. here in cleveland, ohio, people! we're here! where it's happening! our guest tonight i couldn't be more excited renowned journalist and host of amanpour, christiane amanpour is joining us, everybody. (applause) but first, but first, guys, honestly this has been such an exciting day. so much has really happened. tonight wednesday was the night where we heard speeches from the republican candidate was got destroyed by trump. so i was hoping, i was hoping that tonight donald trump would hum il yait ted truz on stage for old time sake. but donald trump didn't even wait until tonight. and this is true. ted cruz was speaking this

afternoon in cleveland and trump interrupted him with his plane. >> our party now has the nominee. and i don't know-- all right. that was pretty well orchestrated. jeff, did you e-mail them to flied plane right when i said that? (applause). >> trevor: that is how crazy this convention is. a plane is doing the hijacking. and you know trump knows he's interrupting cruz. in fact, can we get a closeup of the plane-- (laughter) i knew it. i knew it. but you know, let's talk a bit about last night. because you know, sometimes it feels like the trump train moves on so quickly that we forget that let's take a moment to stop and smell the [bleep].

it really is, a scandal that never ends, you know, one of his advisors came out and said hillary should be shot. you've got the melania plagiarizing thing that ever end it's, they said it didn't happen t did happen. it train is just going and going and going, normally the train stops at the stage, they go all aboard for benghazi, and then the people jump on. the train of trump never stops it just keeps going. stop for the scandal. we never stop, baby! in fact, sometimes it ask even hard to remember what the republican party was like before donald trump. but last night the convention was visited by the ghost of republican past to remind us, senate majority leader mitch mcconnell and speaker of the house paul ryan who stand for almost everything that trump ran against, last night they had to go on stage and encourage america to make the same mistake that they have made and support donald trump. but you know what, they're professionals so i am sure they swallowed their pride and gaifer a strong trump statement and

endorsement. in fact, let's do this. we will play a little drinking game. we'll play a little drinking game. why not, why not. (applause) i am going to take a shot every time paul ryan says donald trump's name in his speech. and imma about to get smashed. >> thank you all very, very much. right there on the rostrum with vice president mike pence and president donald trump. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: ah. >> only with donald trump-- . >> trevor: whooo! >> mike pence-- thank you, thank you an god bless-- .

>> trevor: well, i guess i'm driving. (laughter) look, i'm going to level with you people. other than mcconnell and ryan who aren't so much passengers on the trump train as hostages, this night has nothing to do with policy. tuesday's theme was supposed to be make america work again. instead, it turned into make america hate again. and leading the charge was chris christie. now he's an experienced politician. two-term governor of new jersey but instead of proposing any job creating measures last night, he chose instead to create a kangaroo court spectacle aimed at hillary clinton. >> tonight as a former federal prosecutor, i will welcome the opportunity to hold hillary rodham clinton accountable for her performance and her character. >> since the justice department refuses to allow you to render a verdict, i'm going to present the case now, on the facts, against hillary rodham clinton.

>> trevor: ooh. you know you in trouble when they calling your middle name. rodham. hillary rodham clinton, get your ass in here! (laughter) so here's what happens. last week trump snubbed christie for vice president. so basically last night christie wanted to show trump what he had passed up. he was all like you see this, donie, you could have had all this. >> one of her first decisions as secretary of state, she set up a private e-mail server in her basement in violation of our national security. hillary clinton, lying to the american people about herselfish, awful judgement in making our secrets vulnerable. what is your verdict. guilty or not guilty. >> guilty! >> so as to hill roe clinton, the charge of putting herself ahead of america, guilty or not guilty?

>> guilty! >> . >> lock her up! locker up! locker up! lock her up! >> trevor: yeah! lock her up! lock her up! by the way, what prison is this? i don't understand. like i don't understand, that's how you know white people don't get locked up, like, what-- this is locked up. i don't know what this is. this is locked up. (applause) it's so easy to get caught up in that whole thing. lock her up! lock her-- it's so easy to get caught up. i just don't know what is happening in those chants, you know, it's so infectious and so effective. why delve issue the issuing when you can reduce it to three syllables, build a wall. lock her up. or if that is too complicated for you, trump, trump, trump. trump, trump, trump. i will give props to christie because he finally got americans excited to do jury duty.

>> let's go to north africa. she was the chief engineer of the disastrous overthrow of qaddafi in libya. she said our goal, america's goal was to strengthen russia. strengthen an adversary lead by a dictator who dreams of reassembling the old soviet empire? is hillary clinton guilty or not guilty? >> gillee! >> trevor: holy [bleep]. chris christie got them so sped up during the night i thought he was about to dangle hillary in a net and be like get her, get her! but i actually have an on ject, your honor other-- honor. because if the jury is going to judge presidential candidates for supporting a putin. i would like to enter into evidence exhibit a. >> you say you and putin are going to be close. did putin go up to your office. >> i didn't know anything about him coming to my office but i will tell you i think in terms of leadership he's getting an a and the president is not doing so well. >> trevor: aha!!

and ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if you think that a without-be president who supported the ousting of qaddafi and the invasion of libya deserves to rot in jail, then i would like to call the court's attention to exhibit b. >> qaddafi in libya is killing thousands of people. we should go in. we should stop this guy which would be very easy and very quick. we could do it surgeically. >> trevor: lock him up, lock him up, lock him up. lock him up! >> trevor: oh wow, wow. oh, man. wow, that's-- damn, that works really well. (cheers and applause) >> i see it now. i see it. all you need is a crowd that's on your side. you just need a few stup i had hats and then you can get some more justice done. you guys are on my side, right? >> yeah! >> trevor: and guess what, i have got some stupid hats. so why don't we put chris

christie on trial. let's do this, people. let's get the hats going. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: let's get it going and get it going. and do this. all right, all right. let's do this. okay, okay, okay. so ladies and gentlemen of the jury, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the justice department investigated chris christie for shutting down the george washington bridge for political payback. and even though the u.s. attorney found evidence of wrongdoing by his administration, christie was show never charged. so what do you say, people, to putting his vendettas ahead of the american people? just trying to get home from work to their children. do you find him guilty or not guilty! >> guiltsy! >> trevor: for accepting a $30,000 gift by claiming it was from a personal friend, even though he couldn't remember the name of that friend.

guilty or not guilty! >> guilty! >> trevor: for the murder of nicole brown simpson, guilty or not guilty. >> guilty! >> trevor: damn, you guys take it all the way. wow. all right. i look, look, look people, look. the point is, the point is, this whole fee as cowas ridiculous. the republicans were supposed to spend the evening laying out your plan to put americans to work. instead, the only job you gave them was angry villages in a frankenstein movie. i don't understand. if you are going to be discussing-- i don't know why i am wasting my time. if i wanted to get my point across. let me try this, for you, the republicans. cut the shi-- cut the sh tirks, cut the shit, cut the shit!

cut the shit! cut the s. >> hillary clinton for a qaeda affiliate in nigeria, is she guilty or not guilty? >> guilty. >> see, she fights for the wrong people. >> trevor: absolute bull [bleep], chris christie is giving-- for our kidnapping. >> we here a boxa haram did not need any help from hillary clinton. we will call hillary when we need help deleting our e-mails. you are chiefed your goal. and then they get credit. to some white bastard. >> bring back our girls. >> we were the ones trending. >> bring back our girls. >> we are the ones with the followers. >> bring back our girls. >> not to mention, many experts agree with hillary, huh? because if she had deses ignited

us as foreign terrorists it would have enhanced our not ryity. we could have attracted more followers. that is why hillary didn't give it us to. >> scott baio is about to speak. ♪ ♪ which one of theseing awards appeals most to you? the top safety pick midsize car and suv.

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(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show, coming to you out of cleveland, ohio. this week conservative christians from 50 states made a pilgrimage to the quicken loan as reena to see the man who they believe will lead them to so much winning, jrd an klepper

reports. >> donald trump assembled a wide range of supporters at the rnc and some of the most vocal, evangelicals. yes, he is a casino owner who has had three different wives but the conservative christians know a devout man when they see one. >> go trump! >> he represents the godly people of the united states of america. >> do you know he has acted like a good christian. >> absolutely. >> yeah? >> how can you build that kind of empire if are you not praying to god for good things every day. >>ed man for this time in history, and god will use him. and i don't know that he is goes to even be aware of how god is going to use him. >> do you think he even knows his relationship with god. >> absolutely i think that. >> they seem convinced. but i was still struggling to see how this man reflected the teachings of the good book. >> what do you think about the idea of loving thy neighbor. >> you don't want somebody living next door to you that is going to sneak over and murder you in your sleep. >> who is going to do that?

>>. >> muslims. >> but then i saw a man who could convince even the most sceptical of the depths of trump's faithful. >> we are elected a man in donald trump who believes in the name of jesus clies. >> pastor mark burn. >> shout amen. >> amen! >> that is the guy i needed to talk to. the man who gave the ben diction on the opening night of the rnc. >> i believe donald trump bo question loves god. he believes in the one true god. he believes jesus clies is his lord and savior. he believes that marriage is between one man and one woman. he believes that. >> wait. what? >> he believes marriage is between one man and one woman. >> who does? >> donald trump, believes marriage is between one man and one woman. >> until a younger woman come as long. >> no, no, no. he believes marriage is between one man and one. >> check. >> one slovennian and one american, right? >> so your point is?

>> this one man, one woman thing, i ran the numbers. they don't check out. >> okay so he stumbled a few times on his past. but surely, he embodies the most basic christian ideal of helping those in need. jesus said blessed are the poor for they will inherit the kingdom of heaven. >> he did. >> donald trump said i've watched politicians bragging about how poor they are. how poor their parents and grandparents were and i said to myself, if they can stay so poor for so many generations, how smart can they be. they're morons. >> donald trump is not the pastor of the united states of america. he has accepted jesus clies as his saffier. is he a seminary student, can he-- the script tures, i don't think so. >> you know who has run a bible study? i will give you a hint it rhymes with hillary clinton. >> hillary clinton. >> yeah. >> runs a bible study. >> she did when she was first lady of arkansas. >> well, you know, i can't speak to hillary clinton's relationship with god. i know she is really good at

pandering at the black churches saying whatever amazing grace song she can come up with for that moment. >> do you think donald trump knows the words to amazing grace? i think it would be more like tremendous grace. could save a pretty good guy like me, i once was lost but i was never lost, i was born with an impeccable sense of direction. when can am toes to trump's views on the poor and marriage, christians are willing to turn the other cheek. an attitude they extend to all god's children, well, almost all. >> i think that when hillary clinton called donald trump a person that disrespects women, for one herself to allow her husband to disrespect her, i think that is horrible. >> are you holding that to hillary? >> we sew what we seed. >> so hillary allowing bill to cheat or donald trump cheating.

>> well, i want to be clear. hillary clinton has allowed-- bill is his own man. >> but are you connecting his actions to hillary. >> yup, because he is hillary clinton's husband. >> but you're not connecting done all trump's actions to donald trump. >> i believe donald trump is like any of us, want to be fault, we fall to the sin. >> i see christians love to forget give. and donald trump allows them to practice forgiveness in truly bib i will kal proportions, amen. >> trevor: jordan klepper, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪ if palm trees could talk... i bet they would speak spanish. man, i wish i spoke spanish! ♪

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. >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show, coming to you from cleveland, ohio, my guest cnn's

anchor and chief international correspondent, please welcome christiane amanpour. (applause) >> hi, trevor. >> trevor: how are you. >> good, good. >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: i'm so excitessed to have you here. i will tell you a little story. a lot of people don't know this but there is the cnn that america watches, and then there is the cnn that the world watches. and in the cnn that americas. >> a parallel universe. >> trevor: yeah trk is. and on one they just bring on people to talk but not know anything. and in the other, you are one of the anchors. i am such a huge fan of what you do. welcome to the daily show. >> thank you, it's great to be here, great to be in cleveland. >> trevor: is it great to be in cleveland? >> yes, yes. it is. it is.

because honestly, people are so nice. >> trevor: that's true. that is true. (applause). >> trevor: the best people have i ever come across. >> i'm literally walking down the street with my colleagues and a guy in a pickup truck stops and offers us a ride and gives us a card with his name on it. >> if you are looking at this election, you are someone who is traveling the world. you have an illustrious career as a news anchor who has seen elections everywhere. you have seen everything from coups to peaceful protests. do you see what is happening in america happening anywhere else in the world. can you draw parallels. >> look, i see all of a sudden the west is in a truly historic moment right now. i think that what is happening in the united states is reflected to an extent in europe. you saw what happened in great britan recently with brexit. nobody actually thought that this very sensible keep calm and carry on country would actually, you know, fling itself off a cliff as some people think. you know there are many people

who believe in brexit so we have to report the facts. >> trevor: if i may object here, that's interesting because you wrote about something that really connected with me. and that was in and around the conversation of neutrality. as a journalist. >> uh-huh. >> and you came out and you were speaking to the idea that journalists shouldn't be neutral, which was an interesting take. >> well, have i come up with a sort of a slogan right now because i'm about frustrated at all of this. so i now say truthful, not neutral. there is a difference here. truthful is bringing the truth. neutral can be creating a false equivalent between this side and that. (applause) i'm really glad you agree because it is to you who i am reporting the news and i really want you to know that i go out of my way to bring you the truth. and the truth is actually there. you can find the truth. and there are facts.

and there are other things. and you can't conflate the two. >> trevor: we'll have to watch you on television, thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> trevor: i really appreciate it. amanpour. weeknights on cnn and cnn international. check your local listing, christian amanpour, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪

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redd's wicked apple. also available in mango and black cherry. ♪ ♪ . >> trevor: thank you so much for tuning in. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. we will be live, that is right, we will be broadcasting live after donald