[ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching tonight. i want to thank my friends jim norton and bridget everett. you can hear jim on "ufc unfiltered," the official podcast of the ufc, and check

out jimnorton.com for tour dates. bridget will be on the road on her "pound it" tour. check out tour dates at bridgeteverett.net. guys, we're taking a break, so in the meantime, follow me @nikkiglaser on instagram, glazeydays on snapchat, and listen to the "not safe" podcast. you guys get it. here's your happy ending. good night, pervs. [ cheers and applause ] >> kids, if you work hard in comedy, and you just persevere, you risk everything, you can wind up sleeping in the karaoke room of a strip club in vegas. follow your dreams. [ cheers and applause ] >> trevor: welcome bac -- >> welcome back to the coverage of the 2016 satirical games. welcome roy wood, jr. what a game it has been. >> we've seen world records, dreams made and hopes crushed. >> who doesn't like watching the

flicker go out in a young kid's eyes. >> jordan, what's that on your neck? >> oh, this thing? (laughter) >> have you been doing the cupping therapy like the athletes? >> no, no. last night my loneliness got the best of me and i had sex with a vacuum cleaner. (laughter) >> okay, let'so go to trevor noah as he competes in the 30-minute men's free-style hosting sprint. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: thank you so much! welcome to "the daily show"! i'm your host trevor noah. tonight's guests from the hit comedy central show "another period," nikolai patrushe nick e and natasha leggero, everybody!

(cheers and applause) >> trevor: i know for most people the news every day is about this used condom filled with orange gatorade. but while that's going on, another competition is happening that's much more important to the rest of the world. the olympics where athletess push themselves to the limits while the rest of us sit at home on the couch judging them. oh, i wouldn't have land like that, yeah... your foot should always be straight... (laughter) and there's good news for the u.s. america won the first gold medal of the games. >> ginny thrasher a rising softmore won the first gold medal more shooting. >> trevor: an american teenager won the first gold medal for shooting. usually the news that starts with teen shooter doesn't usually end that well. although americans winning for shooting is a little on the nose, like canada winning the gold medal for politely holding

the door open for you. a little too obvious. the magic comes at the most unexpected moments. egypt and italy playing beach volleyball. i don't know if you can guess which country is which con. it's like they're playing strip volleyball and italy is getting their ass kicked. it is good to see good images comes out of brazil and the olympics. the public has been expecting a (bleep) show in the olympics. they have not disappointed. >> australia's coach pulled his swimmers from the pool after the water turned soupy. >> trevor: i'm sorry, the water turned soupy? soupy is never a good word for anything, even for soup! (laughter) that's not something you ever want to hear. how's the chicken noodle today? it's soupy! i'll have the salad. oh, and here's another word you

don't want to hear at the olympics -- crimey. >> jiu jitsu star jason lee was robbed by armed men in in uniform. what did you guys get up to yesterday? i got mugged. this blais is pleep. >> trevor: you don't get to blame brazil because your self-defense let you doin'. and you know what? this is the problem i have with martial arts. it was pretty cool until guns. now it doesn't work anymore, it's outdated. heeia! heeia! heeia! heeia is all my money and master card! sure, you can have my apple watch as well! >> what did you think of the jiu jitsu job?

>> street fighter reference was a little dated. >> i'll look at it. he's really feeding the bit. >> won't stop. >> trevor: you know i can hear you. >> he's talking to himself. he's definitely rattled. >> more importantly, i think the foreign accent is a little distracting, does the routine need that? >> rory, i couldn't agree more. the i'm a south african is a little much. >> if i were trevor -- >> you're nowhere near trevor. >> don't you (bleep) vacuums. >> vacuum, singular. i never stray, at least while she's under warranty. >> looks like he's headed to the desk now. let's watch. >> trevor: all right, moving on. now, everyone who is currently at the olympics is hoping to leave brazil with this thing, but everyone is afraid they're

actually going to leave with this thing. (laughter) now, in the past few month the zika infection rate in brazil has gone down but seems like that's because zika decided to take its act on the road. >> for the first time, evidence of zika spread by mosquitoes here in the u.s. >> there are now 17 cases locally transmitted of zika in south florida, includes at least 14 in miami's wynwood neighborhood. >> trevor: wow, you realize that number would have been higher if everyone in miami didn't know salsa because that dance is basically just rhythmically checking for mosquitoes. that's all that is. ♪ ♪ that's all that is. and now -- (applause) -- and now that zika set up shop in florida, the disease turned from a third-world issueo a first-world problem and not in a hashtag kind of way. this is real.

politics and politicians are getting involved and it's reminding us it's not just mosquitoes that suck. >> marco rubio tells politico that he does not believe a pregnant woman infected with a zika virus should have the right to an abortion even if she believed the child would be born with microcephaly. >> ah, little marco. can i be honest with you guys? >> audience: yes. >> trevor: i don't understand how any man thinks that he has the right to dictate to a woman what they should do with their body. (cheers and applause) i don't understand it. because men know nothing about what it's like to be a woman. we don't. we're dumb (bleep) when it comes to that. so why do men always get to make laws about women's health issues? it's almost like imagine if black people were the only ones who could decide whether white people were allowed to use sunscreen. that wouldn't make sense.

white people would be, like, what do black people know about getting sun burnt? black people are, i know what you sayin', alls i'm saying is i'm pro melanin. (applause) i wish a giant mosquito would (bleep) rubio and leave him with a zika baby. we'll see how much he is believing in those laws. he is glowing, though, nice. turns out, little marco is just part of a bigger problem. >> congress failed to pass a zika funding bill. the white house originally asked for $1.9 billion for zika prevention and the house passed a $1.1 billion measure in june but the bill died in the senate among partisan squabbling. >> trevor: are you serious? the c.d.c. and the white house told congress they need $1.9 billion to fight zika and then the republicans replied, well, we'll give you half.

this is a disease, not a yard sale. (laughter) i realize why congress is not so keen on fighting zika because congress is just like mosquitoes themselves -- blood-sucking parasites no one likes with little legs -- no, wait. let me start again. they use buzz words and they -- okay, wait. um... ooh! looks like he strained a metaphor there. >> definitely had trouble sticking the landing. noah attempting a satirical comparing between congress and mosquitoes. >> that whole routine had a high degree of difficulty. >> well, not that high. >> you hate to see. >> this you know what you might like to see? i got photos of the hot little vacuum cleaner last night. take a look. >> you're discuesing. after the break, desi lydic and the highly anticipated donald trump fat checking event. stay with us.

i note the obvious differences in the human family. some of us are serious, some thrive on comedy. i've sailed upon the seven seas and stopped in every land, i've seen the wonders of the world not yet one common man. i know ten thousand women called jane and mary jane, i've not seen any two who really were the same. mirror twins are different although their features jibe, and lovers think quite different thoughts while lying side by side. i note the obvious differences between each sort and type, but we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. ♪

"the daily show"! now, yesterday, donald trump gave a major economic policy speech in detroit. a city he understands fundamentally because it, too, has filed for bankruptcy. after a policy speech filled with promises and lofty claims, it's only fitting we turn it over to our own desi lydic in another installment of "what's the actual fact." ♪ >> thanks, trevor. trump's speech was like a rihanna song. he shouted "work work work" a bunch of times an that was pretty much all people heard. the details starting with trump's take on what he calls the obama-clinton employment numbers. >> there are now 94.3 million americans outside of the labor force. it was 80.5 million when president obama took office, an

increase of $14 million people. >> so, let's see, 14 million more people are now outside the workforce, but much of that has nothing to do with unemployment. it's because our older baby boomers are retiring, almost 10,000 retirees every day. so although the statement is true, trump is ignoring the realities of aging, so i give this statement a john travolta. (laughter) here's another criticism trump had to have the obama-clinton economy. >> nearly 12 million people have been added to the food stamp and these people are growing and it's growing so rapidly since president obama took office. >> okay, first of all, food stamp rolls did go up, mostly because of the recession which obama in-- inherited from bush. but trump says the numbers are still growing rapidly while, in reality, the number of people on

food stamps has declined in the last three years. so this claim mostly is false. trump competently says it's growing but it's all shrinking so this gets one whiskey dick. (cheers and applause) yeah. let's move on to trump's economic plans. first, tax reform. >> finally, no family will have to pay the death tax. american workers have paid taxes their whole lives, and they should not be taxed again at death. it's just plain wrong, and most people agree with that. (applause) we will repeal it. >> yes, american workers do pay taxes throughout their careers, and americans can be taxed when they die, but the only folks who actually pay a state tax or death tax, as -- pay estate tax or death tax are those with

estates worth more than $5.4 million, meaning that that tax has no impact on 99.8% of americans. so what trump is talking about is technically true, but irrelevant to almost everyone. i give this one co-worker talking mon stop about cross fit. (applause) i don't care how many kettle bell swings your tiny body can do, ronny. i gave birth this year. thank you. thank you. (applause) and finally we, need to look at the most controversial promise in trump's entire economic address. >> a lower business tax will also end job-killing corporate inversions and cause trillions in new dollars in wealth to come pouring into our country and, by the way, into titties like right here in detroit.

(laughter) >> i'm sorry. can we just see that one more time? >> and, by the way, into titties like right here in detroit. (laughter) >> okay. let's not jump to conclusions here. we all want to believe donald trump said "titties," but it's possible it was an audio glitch. thankfully, we are a professional, fact-checking operation with the most advanced audio analysis tools in the business. so we can determine definitively if donald trump, in fact, did say "titties." let's do a careful analysis. (normal speed) >> into titties like right here in detroit. >> let's try slowing it down a bit (slowly) >> into titties like right here in detroit. (laughter) >> i'm not sure, maybe if --

(slow, then hip-hop rhythm --) into titties like right here in detroit) >> yeah, they're trying to tell if these titties are real but i can tell you titties like right here in detroit is a hot track. >> desi lydic, everyone! ♪ (cheers and ♪ sorry... sorry... regerts? sorry, i was eating a milky way. ♪ every night is opening night. when you run your own restaurant, coors light. whatever your mountain, climb on.

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squuuuack, let's feed him let's feto the sharks!sharks! yay! and take all of his gold! and take all of his gold! ya! and hide it from the crew! ya...? squuuuack, they're all morons anyway! i never said that. they all smell bad too. no! you all smell wonderful! i smell bad! if you're a parrot, you repeat things. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. squuuuack, it's what you do.

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." now tonight's guests there the creators and stars of "another period" on this very network. >> one, two five, six. ♪ baked alaska ♪ baked alaska ♪ it's christmas ♪ it's just about my favorite thing ♪ ♪ you like it soft, i like it hard ♪

♪ if you need, use custard ♪ baked alaska ♪ do it in the back and not in the front ♪ ♪ . ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> trevor: please welcome natasha leggero and riki lindhome! (cheers and applause) ♪ welcome, ladies. welcome. welcome. wwelcome. thank you for being here. welcome. can i just say, every single time i've seen any clip or episode of "another period," you guys look like you are having the most fun in the world. >> it's amazing it's a job. it's crazy. you have a great job, too. >> trevor: not as much fun. >> ours is definitely bert than yours. >> trevor: i wish i could wear a dress and sing like that. >> sometimes the crew people walk by and they're, like, you guys just want to dress up like princesses. >> trevor: "another period" is

a show -- i mean, it efeels like it's sort of like the kardashians meets "downton abbey." >> yeah. >> it's placed in 1902 in america and we're basically these rich socialites trying to get famous. >> like the real housewives of newport. >> trevor: what always fascinates me when i watch is there is no famous back then. there is no tv or nothing. >> that's why it's hard to become famous. you have to get someone to paint your portrait with your ankles showing. >> there were basically two with famous women, harriet tubman and eleanor roosevelt -- oh, and helen keller. you had to do something really big. but our characters think they should just be famous because. >> that's just instinct, people want to be known. >> trevor: but known for doing something most of the time. >> no, we want to be known for being famous for knotting. >> don't you find that weird, though? >> it's weird but we're pioneers. >> trevor: what are you famous

for? i'm famous for being famous. it's like the chicken and the egg. how did you become famous? for being famous. >> it's a great job, to be honest. >> trevor: it is. i watch it and the profanity is beautiful, especially in the manner you placed it. it's very classy, tasteful profanity. many jokes about posterior ramming that is -- >> that was a song about -- >> trevor: anal. you can say anal. >> i was going to say getting (bleep) in the ass. >> trevor: oh, yeah, you can say that as well. yeah, you can say awful that. we're on -- you can say all of that. we're on the same network. >> that was scott joplin coming and we were pitching him our song. he's like a kanye-esque character. >> trevor: the kanye of 1902? >> yeah, and he's got a girlfriend kind of in a burqa type thing except with cleavage and he has his cam. >> you have to watch the show. >> trevor: i'm fascinated by

you're making this show and there is obviously kanye people that you've invented because there were no kanye types back then -- >> you don't know that. >> trevor: -- that could make music for themselves and get paid? (laughter) yeah, and then also -- but you've also done research. >> we've done research. the show takes place in newport, rhode island, and the more research we do, the more fascinating how cyclical everything is. this show 100 years ago, there was no income tax. people were so rich, they were living like rappers. >> trevor: they were living like rappers! >> tits american version of "downton abbey." these people had so much money. i think at one time carnegie had more money than america. >> trevor: wow. >> they were billionaires in 1902 because they didn't pay income tax. once they introduced the income tax in 1912 or 1915, then people were, like, oh, we can't have 65 servants and we've got to move out of these homes.

>> trevor: yet, ironically, that's where we've gotten back to now is these people have found a way not to pay income tax and they have servants again. what's the craziest thing you discovered when doing research for the show? >> one thing i didn't realize is female rights. women were actually not allowed to read college-level books because they thought it would shrink their ovaries. >> trevor: who thought that? >> men just said that so women would be afraid to read. >> women were afraid to exercise because they said they'd get bicycle face. (laughter) women thought her face would freeze and stay that way. >> trevor: which way? >> like, you know, on a bicycle -- >> trevor: how fast are they going on these bicycles? (laughter) >> i don't know, they just didn't want them to travel. >> we read a thing about a woman who didn't feel like moving to chicago with her husband and he had her committed to an insane asylum. >> until she agreed. and once she agreed to move, he's, like, okay, you can let her out.

women, do you think this is funny or sad -- >> trevor: it's comedy but at the same time it's, like, this is the saddest thing. >> but then women got to vote and we've come a long way. >> everything is equal and it's completely better. >> trevor: i think you guys are rewriting history. you are amazing. thanks for coming to the show. thanks for being here. super funny show, craziest thing you've ever seen on tv. "another period" here on comedy central wednesdays 10:00 p.m. natasha leggero and riki lindhome! (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪ oh ♪ with a little bit of uh uh, and a little bit of ♪ ♪ i said, it's getting hot in herre ♪ new watermelon from lime-a-rita. the bold margarita.

would suffice for jordan's bachelor party. i don't need a sword, i'm a firemaid. ding dong! i'm going to give this place a killer review. i don't know, i just always thought maybe my bachelor party would be a little less g-rated. wench! ahhh! ahhh hahaha... oooh! party time! party boy! ok, ok. mm hm, party time. hmm, mmm, mmm...

heineken is served it's world famous. like me. come here. look! it happens all the time. antonio banderas! it's antonio banderas from the movies. enjoyed in 192 countries. there's more behind the star. there are a lot of phone deals out there. but it's not a good deal if it's on a bad network. right now there's a really, really good deal at verizon. what kind of deal? up to 4 free phones. free? that's right. and up to 4 lines. 16 gigs. all for only a hundred and fifty dollars. and no surprise overages. sweet. i know. and it's all on america's best network. 4 free samsung galaxy phones. 4 lines. 16 gb. all for a hundred and fifty dollars.

only on verizon. did you hear that? >> trevor: that is our show for tonight! thank you so much for tune in. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> we bring you the kitten summer games hosted by the hallmark channel, 90 cat athletes complete in a tumbling and track and field events? no, not really a real track and field event. look at them. aren't they just nice? ♪ (cheers and applause) ponsored by comedy central ponsored by ( cheers and applause )