[laughter] [laughter] we'll be right back with more dr. katz, professional therapist. [cheers and applause] thwow, it's nice.ew 2016 chevy malibu. let's check it out. do any of you have kids? i do yes. this car has a feature built in called teen driver technology, which lets parent's see how their teens are driving. oh, that's smart. it even mutes the radio until the seat belt is fastened. will it keep track of how many boys get it in the car? (laughter) cause that could be useful. this is ahead of what my audi has for sure. wish my beamer had that. i didn't even know that technology existed. i'm not in the market for a car but now i may be.

apb describes a naked sudsy guy playing a piano made of suds. ♪ ♪ [suds sliding] ♪ [sniffing] ♪ [old spice whistle] smells like we got the wrong guy.

crispy m&m's® are baaaack. what are you doing? you said to tell our fans crispy m&m's® are back. not those fans! did you mean this fan? no. (annoyed grumbles) what about that one? there's a fan in the break room, oh! and in the....(trails off) so good, they're back. to win playstation vr. you'll be the first "player one." soon, it spreads like wildfire. humanity becomes so plugged in... we never see them coming. that's why i was sent back to stop you -

[slrrrrrp] oh, hey, i won! right. the future of gaming starts at taco bell. grab any $5 box and you could be one of the first to win playstation vr. [sfx: bong] the surface pro allows us to be flexibleting. and get work done where ever we can. it's a laptop, i take the keyboard off, it's a tablet. macs can't do that. [cheers and applause] - welcome back, ladies. [laughter] next week, the national anthem girl gets a web redemption. - ♪ what so proudly we hailed ♪ ♪ at the star's la-- star's... ♪ [cheering] - that is so disrespectful. [laughter]

make sure you tune in to see my new standup special happy thoughts, premiering on comedy central march 6th. be sure you follow me on twitter so we can live chat during the shows. and keep up with our daily blog over at tosh.comedycentral.com. and finally, some of you have been taking a lot of unnecessary cheap shots at me lately. and it's okay when it comes from my half-wit fans, but it's another thing when it comes from a fellow talk show host, especially one who's not even on network television. listen to what this hack had to say. - hi, i'm wesley. i watched tosh.0 last night, and what can i say about daniel tosh? - you think i got this show because i'm funny? - you said it, danny boy, not me. you [bleep] jackwagon. it's not hard to do this show. green screen? check. youtube videos? check. random videos of me "naked"?

i'm naked, i'm naked! check. i just don't get it. but hey, i'm only 7. thanks for watching. now get out of my room. - but i thought you were gonna play with me. - not you. the audience. - here. you can be adam. - listen here, you little motherfucker. nothing would brighten my day more than to destroy some pussy who still plays with dolls. how about this? how 'bout i date your mom and make your bedtime two hours earlier, you no talent piece of shit. keep it up with the insults and there will be no wes.8. do you get what i'm saying, bitch? i will bury you and your sister in the sandbox. do not test me. your move, four eyes. good night. [cheers and applause] captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much for tuning in! my guests tonight from the hit show "gotham" and the hit relationship will and jada, jada pinkett smith is joining us here, everybody! jada pinkett smith in the house tonight right here! ( cheers and applause ) but first up, first up, i have to report some devastating news. >> big news out of hollywood. after 12 years together and six children, angelina jolie is filing for divorce from brad pitt. >> they have been together since 2004. >> trevor: oooooooooh! i can't believe angelina is leaving brad.

so no more brangelina? is this a braxit? is that what this is? braxit? angeleavia? you think you're devastated, think how africans are feeling right now. these two are our only way out! how do you think i got here? ( cheers and applause ) let's get back to the big story that started last night. >> overnight another exploding controversy. donald trump's son, donald trump, jr., posted on twitter an image arguing against admitting refugees into the united states. let's put that up on the screen. it reads, if i had a bowl of skittles and i told you just three would kill you, would you take a handful? that's our syrian refugee problem. ( audience reacts ) >> trevor: i don't know who should be more offended by this (bleep) trump analogy, syrians or skittles or poison or bowls

or analogies -- because, first of all, syrian refugees aren't skittles. how do i know this? because i have been trick or treating for years and i've never gotten syrian refugees in my bag. and i've got weird neighbors. but let's take a look at this real quick. if you were comparing taking in refugees to taking a handful of skittles, then you've got to get your scale right because the cato institute, typically conservative think tank, calculated the chance of an american being killed in a refugee terror attack and those chances are one in 3.5 billion. vox did the numbers and this picture they created shows you what size bowl those three poison skittles would have to be in for this analogy to be accurate. it's probably more likely you will die from choking on actual skittles than a refugee -- in fact, seems even the candy company itself understands international relations better than trump.

>> the parent company of skittles responded in a statement to nbc news saying skittles are candy, refugees are people, we don't feel it's an appropriate analogy. >> trevor: nicely played, skittles. ( cheers and applause ) they said that in a really polite way, but what they really wanted to say was at a time that rainbow, bitch! ( laughter ) it's just so dumb. it's such a terrible analogy to use. actually, jordan klepper and i were chatting about this earlier, and he made a good point, so, actually, welcome jordan klepper, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) so jordan, we were chatting about this earlier. so if i had a bowl of skittles, all right, and i told you that three of those skittles could kill you, would you eat the skittles? >> yeah. >> trevor: no, it's what we were talking about earlier. so if the bowl had three poison

skittles, would you eat the bowl? >> yeah. well, i would not eat the bowl. that's a container. you eat the poison skittles inside. it's how we do it in america. >> trevor: why do you think you came out here? >> well, i thought i was going to make a big point about candy. >> trevor: and poison? >> right. candy is a very political topic, like why is this creepy that an old man can't go trick or treating? i like candy and i like to dress up like a sexy nurse. that makes me a weirdo? what's this whole poison thing? >> trevor: jordan klepper, everyone. this is not what i wanted to talk about. no, don't you clap for him! ( applause ) he does not deserve applause! that was pointless! anyway, actually, you know what's crazy is the trump campaign does this all the time to us. no matter what happens, they put out something to distract us and we all start talking about that instead. i don't blame them. when you look deeper into the

trump campaign, there is a lot of (bleep) that's going wrong. for instance, today, while we were all talking about skittles, the "washington post" reports trump has been taking money that other people donated to his charity. instead of using it for charity, he used money to pay off people who sued his businesses. he's basically a really (bleep) robin hood. not like a kevin costner (bleep) rob hood. i'm talking a real (bleep) robin hood. let me explain it in terms people understand these days. if i had two bowls of skittles, right, and people donated into the charity bowl, right? and this was meant for charity, yes? and what i did was i said this is going over to charity -- oh, what's happening there? ( laughter ) ah, yes, charity. it's good you give to my share it and -- did you see that thing?

( laughter ) ah, my business has money, and my charity does not! ah! what a good person i am! i will give one of my charity to business, or business to charity -- i don't know how this works anymore. but you get the point because i use skittles. ( applause ) ( cheers and applause ) now, another story this week. for five years, donald trump has championed the false conspiracy theory that president obama wasn't born in the united states. all right, he was obsessed with obama's birth certificate. then last friday, he finally holds a press conference and after his half decade of talking about this non-stop, all he says is this -- >> president barack obama was born in the united states, period. now we all want to get back to making america strong and great again. thank you. thank you very much. thank you. >> trevor: that's right, folks.

let's forget the racist thing i have been saying for the past five years so we can all focus on my new racist ideas. thank you. thank you, folks. thank you. ( applause ) you know, if i had a bowl of skittles -- ( laughter ) -- and i told you that all of the skittles in this bowl were born in this bowl, but then what happened was a crazy, racist circus peanut came up and said, these peanuts are not from this country and this particular one is not from this place! and it was, like, oh, this peanut, this chocolate bar was not born in america! as you can see, it's not from these skittle bowls. he's actually from the africa bowl that has africa things inside it. oh, actually, remember the thing i said? oh, don't worry about that. i'm done.

i'm finished. he's actually from the skittle bowls and, yeah, the africa bowl -- whatever. and then one to have the -- and then one of the licorice is, i'm going to go host "the daily show"! ( cheers and applause ) and this happens, and this happened, and i think you understand it. because i used skittles. ( laughter ) so this guy, donald j. trump, i don't understand how we live in a world where people don't understand that all of his skittles are poison. right? you think about all of his skittles are poisoned but people latch on to the three that are not. he's on an outsider, tough on immigration and most importantly not hillary clinton. all the other skittles are poison. his charities were a ripoff, his university is a ripoff, his tax returns are not to be found. how is that not poison? people are still like, well, i'm going to take a handful of these

trump skittles and shake things up! i'm going to take a chance! so let me explain it like this -- jordan, what are you doing? ( applause ) what are you doing? >> eight your poison skittles, bitch. >> trevor: those are poison. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) when you run your own restaurant,

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." you know, we cover a lot of stories from this desk but sometimes, to get the real (bleep), you have to hit the streets, and nobody is more street than jordan klepper. check it out. >> who says news has to be cold and on your screen? i say it's warm and on your face. the real news is on the streets, and it sounds like this. ba-ba, ba-ba. this is jordan klepper fingers the pulse. ♪ this past summer, trump flag wavers spouted a lot of theories about hillary clinton's health. >> we see the coughing fits.

>> she's had seems like a number of blood clots. >> what on earth could be the reason behind hillary clinton's dibiczar behavior? >> it almost seems seizuresque to me. >> turns out, they were sort of right. >> she's been diagnosed with pneumonia. >> maybe their fingers were in deeper than mine a. i heed to swing states ohio and wisconsin to see what trump supporters know that we don't. do you think it's pneumonia? >> could be, yes. >> what do you think's going on. >> parkinson's, m.s. -- >> aids. >> why do you think? >> the way her husband used to be. >> do you think bill had aids? >> yes. >> how do you think he got aids. >> probably messing around with magic johnson. >> that's the natural conclusion? yes. >> the clintons and magic

johnson. what else do they know. >> they were saying there was a double of her. >> do you think there is a hillary clinton double? >> yeah. >> i think anything is possible when it comes to doubles. >> a clinton double, who knew. i printed out two identical photos to see if they could see what we couldn't. which one is the body double. >> that one. >> what about this one makes you think it's not hillary clinton? >> that little thing on her cheek is obvious. and the scarring on her throat the different. >> they look a ton alike, right? >> this looks a little younger. >> you think this looks younger? >> yeah. >> don't you think if you look at something long enough and have a parroid mind you'll think they're different? >> it's possible. >> which one are you more attracted to? >> this one. >> uncovering hillaryas doubles is one thing but what can they tell us about the current commander-in-chief? >> obama is a muslim, a terrorist. no one will ever tell me different. >> we don't even know he's a citizen. >> if you don't look at the

birth certificate, there is almost no evidence there. >> exactly. >> there is nothing barack obama could do to prove he was worn here? >> witnesses attending his birth. >> his mother? >> no, she has motivation to lie. >> you don't trust donald trump's birth certificate either. >> yeah because he beans here forever. >> what's your proof? >> well, his parents -- >> but no, they're biased. >> why would they be biased? >> i'm just using your logic against you. >> okay. >> he acts like a muslim, talks like a muslim, he also does the muslim principles as far as jewelry is concerned. >> jewelry? >> yeah, jewel r. certain months of the year not wearing his wedding ring. >> that's a deep cut. do you want me to connect your necklace to your christianity. >> why would you do that? >> you just taught me. i didn't know people were connecting jewelry to religion. >> muslims don't wear -- >> is that a jew watch? and one of the most unbelievable discoveries yet.

>> barack obama had a big part in 9/11. >> which part? >> not being around, always on vacation, never in the office. >> why wasn't barack obama not in the office on 9/11? >> that i don't know. like to get to the bottom of that. >> mind blown. they had new troops about trump's surging popularity. >> i don't think the media supports the support of donald trump. >> so what should we be portraying? where are the african-americans? when you look out across the 400, 500 people here, we don't see phi. wave, white people! yeah! like a dave mathews concert except dave actually has african-americans in his band. tell me when you see somebody who is not why. >> right here. thank you, brother. >> donald trump don't even know how much a loaf of bread or a dozen eggs cost. >> so you don't even support donald trump? >> no. >> okay, so he didn't work. turns out they got one wrong.

but the rest of their theories can be backed up with iron-clad sources. what's your source? >> just facebook or twitter. i mean, everything. and i -- >> so you look at facts and bill (bleep) and put it all together. >> exactly. >> outside of having no proof, what proof do you have. >> i don't have any. >> don't have proof. >> my opinion. >> your opinion. >> do i have proof? no. articles? no. >> your minored is made up without any information. >> my mind is made up. >> good enough for me. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: there you have it. jordan klepper everyone. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ take on any road with intuitive all-wheel drive. the nissan rogue, murano and pathfinder.

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even the crowd whin said jada's joining us, they were like, whoa! whoa! ( applause ) they lost their minds. welcome. welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: welcome back on "gotham." we should talk about that immediately. how popular are you as character when you're in a show and you die and then they go, no, you didn't die. >> right. >> trevor: we're bringing you back. >> let me tell you, because the first season literally we made an agreement that i would help basically set up penguin. >> trevor: yes. >> so i was only supposed to do that season. so when it was over, it was over. i was, like, wow, i had a great time. then second season, bruno called me and said, we got to bring you back, we're going to raise you from the dead is that people love you. that's probably the greatest compliment in tv is when they raise you from the dead. >> yeah, i would say that. >> trevor: yeah, it is. ( cheers and applause ) >> definitely. >> trevor: you play a character that i don't often see you playing, and that is you're playing a villain in "gotham." is there a part of you that enjoys being bad?

>> oh, yeah. ( laughter ) big time. and i don't have to apologize for it, which is even better, you know. it likely does give me an -- it really does give me an opportunity to allow my shadow to play in a safe way. but, i mean, there are no limits with fish. i mean, she dug her own eye out with a spoon for crying out loud and then stepped on it. so, i mean, this woman has no limits whatsoever. >> trevor: you know what's also exciting your character was written specifically for the tv show. >> yeah. >> trevor: other characters came from comic books. so you do have no limits in that your character can do absolutely anything. >> absolutely, and that she's part of the gotham world. i'm a huge comic book fan and the fact that when bruno asked me to be a part of the show and he says, i really want us to collaborate together to create this character, i was, like, you've got to be freaking kidding me! i mean, that is a dream come true! so the fact i was not only able to be a part of the gotham

mythology, i got to collaborate and create this character? i totally geeked out. i always do. >> trevor: you created one video in particular that was huge. ( laughter ) during the oscars so white. >> probably my biggest piece yet. >> trevor: a blockbuster. for those of you who don't know. jada made a video commenten on the fact that the oscars were so white and there wasn't enough recognition, in huge contrast to the emmys, for instance, and they bragged about it, rightfully, so but not enough people of color being recognized, not enough films or creativity from people of color being, i guess, acknowledged, being recognized. from your side, people were quick to say, oh, but who were you to complain? you were recognized, your husband is one of the biggest stars in the world. how do you respond to someone who says why are you complaining

if you're at the top? >> because i believe it's our responsibility to illuminate the lack of opportunity for others. you can't just say will is one person, one. that's not enough. so these opportunities should be available to everyone. >> trevor: yes. >> so -- and now, tomorrow, in brooklyn -- now, see, i don't just talk, but i walk the talk. you know what i'm sayin'? >> trevor: yes, yes. >> so i started a new initiative, careers in entertainment, where i'm reaching out to opportunity youth to actually educate them about different aspects of professions within the entertainment industry and to create liaison, networks, professional development so that young people have an opportunity to participate in the industry. >> trevor: this is actually really exciting. i was lucky enough to be at the launch and what you were talking about was really interesting because a lot of people start charities and foundations and are very public about it. >> right. >> trevor: