everybody likes mushrooms. my wish is to be buried in half mushroom, half pepperoni. and make sure you put this box inside one of those red bags that keeps me extra warm. somebody better dig me up and remove that rogue 'roni. you see that rogue 'roni? that's gonna ruin some vegetarian's side of the pizza. there's also a ring of melted cheese baked into the hood. rest in pizza. good night. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ♪ ( cheers and applause )

>> trevor: yeah! oh, yeah! welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah. so excited. my guest tonight charlamagne tha god is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) joining us on the show to talk about true gods. but first let's talk a bit more about sunday night's town hall debate between hillary clinton and groper cleveland. after the debate, some people say that trump won because, honestly, he managed to distract attention from his pussy-grabbing scandal and some people say hillary clinton won because she made sense. but it's clear who really won because in the middle of that historically masty debate an exhausted nation cried out to god, throw us a bone! and he did. >> nearly 67 million people tuned in to the debate and the surprise star was the man in the red sweater. >> what steps will your energy policy make to meet our energy needs? >> the internet determined a clear winner, mr. ken bone.

>> a man in the red sweater stole the spotlight. >> ken bone, you're so charming. >> the legend of ken bone. >> bone heads. >> we all love ken bone. >> i'm looking for him on twitter because i want to follow him. >> t-shirts are being sold with welcome to the bone zone! >> trevor: welcome to the bone zone! that's the first time that didn't sound creepy at all. kids, time to play in the bone zone! yea! i love ken bone. not just me. two days, america has been experiencing a non-stop ken boner. not a surprise. he's cute. got a great sweater, here's why i fell in love with ken. up till now i had no idea why a voter in this election could be undecided but ken got to my heart and made a good case. >> i think i'm more uncommitted than i was when we started. i'm afraid. donald trump might have my economic interests more in mind

just from pearnl level. on the other hand, if he's allowed to appoint the next supreme court nominee, there's a very good chance that we could lose some of the rights that we've fought for and i do not want to see anyone's rights taken away. that's what makes it difficult for me. we're looking at a personal interest versus community interest election. >> trevor: okay, two things i love about this guy -- one, everything. two, he's not just thinking about his own interests in this election. with all the negativity we have been exposed to throughout the campaign, ken bone seems like an actually decent person. also, i love that he's still wearing the sweater that made him famous. yeah. which makes sense, because if you wear something specific when you do something heroic, you have to stick with the look. right now there's a guy who regrets rescuing a baby while wearing jean shorts. people are, like, get a picture of the hero!

he's, like, no, let me change! oh, (bleep), i'm captain george forever now! but ken bone is not a rare hero, he's a one man basket of adorables. >> i went from last night having seven twitter followers, two of which were my grandmother because she had to remake her account when she forgot her password, to now i have several hundred. >> trevor: no! he's so fluffy! ahhh! ahhh! his grandmother follows him twice on twitter? this guy is so naturally appealing! you know right now hillary' campaign is analyzing everything about him. she's going to show up at the third debate in a red sweater and a fake mustache -- what are you talking about? i've always looked like this! here's the most american part of this story for me. since the debate, ken bone was -- and this is true -- he

was even offered a porn contract. yes. yes. because porn producers, they know what's up. ... listen, ken, either with we pay you or hire a look alike, eat ware, the bone porn train is leaving the station, and then back in the station, then back out of the station, and back in -- yeah, that's right, like a penis, you get it. but let's turn to the guy who you definitely don't want to see in porn again. since the tape came out with trump bragging about sexual assault, republicans are running away and trump is not taking it well. >> anarchy within the republican party. trump spent the last few hours, minutes, raging not against the democratic nominee but against the senior elected republican in the country, house speaker paul ryan. >> trump tweeted, it's so nice the shackles have been taken off me and i can now fight for

america the way i want to. >> trevor: i'm sorry, wait -- now the shackles are off? so you mean the entire time the shackles were still on? the shackles were still on yesterday when you said this? >> bill clinton was the worst abuser of women ever to sit in the oval office. he was a predator. without the media, hillary clinton couldn't be elected dog catcher. i mean that. cnn is a disgrace. oh, they just turned off their camera! crooked hillary clinton. oh, she's crooked, folks. she's crooked as a three-dollar bill. okay, here's one -- just came out -- lock her up is right. >> trevor: that was shackled trump? the guy calling to imprison hillary? dude, you can't unshackle -- you're already the hull hic, basically. you can't go more hulk than the hulk. you can't be like -- hulk is, like, now hulk get really angry! what do you mean, you're already a hulk!

no! real hulk have no pants! ahhh! you see balls out hulk! ahhh! you mean like donald trump? no, no, that too far! hulk opposite of trump! hulk hurt buildings! hulk respect women! ( cheers and applause ) so let's turn back quickly to the debate for a look at what the candidates got right and wrong. here's desi lydic with "what the actual fact"! ( applause ) >> thanks, trevor. sunday's debate was another day at the beach in that, when it was over, i had to spend 45 minutes in the shower just to feel clean again. plus, i'm frit sure it gave me skin cancer. you know what,? i'm done. chuck, pull the plug. >> trevor: wait, desi! no, this is your segment. you're supposed to fact check the debates.

>> trevor, fact checking is a noble craft. it takes depth of knowledge, research, a skillful, analytic mind, and i am done wasting that on donald trump. it's not even that the man lies, it's more like he rejects the very idea that the point of language is to describe reality. so i'm out! actually, you know what? (bleep) it. here's trump lying at the debate. >> our taxes are high, just about the highest in the world. (buzzer) >> jobs are almost nonexistencet. she made $259. laughing at the girl raped. 600 requests for help. i was against the war in iraq. many people saw the bombs. maybe there is no hacking. i suggest endorsement. raising everybody's taxes. she wants to go to a single payer plan. leaving carried interest. pretty much self-funding. no, i didn't say that at all. check out a sex tape. (buzzer)

( cheers and applause ) >> yep! like someone scraped the resin from the side of the debate, just concentrated bull (bleep). but like i said, i'm out! he's your problem now, trevor. >> trevor: oh, well, thanks for trying. desi lydic, everyone. thank you so much. wow, okay. ( applause ) well, let's do this -- after the break, debate coverage, well get from michelle wolf. michelle wolf, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) so, michele, what have you got planned? i'll give you a hint -- ( laughter ) i'm going to talk about this. >> trevor: oh, you mean pussy? >> no! this is my cat! his name is tax policy. cover your ears, tax policy. >> trevor: oh, i'm so sorry about that. we'll be right back with michele. ( cheers and applause )

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and so when i saw that, that was completely disqualifying. i'm a republican, but this election is so much bigger than party. my son max can't live in trump world. so i'm crossing party lines and voting for hillary. i don't always agree with her, but she's reasonable. and she's smart. she can work with people to solve problems. i want to be able to tell my kids that i did the right thing when it really mattered. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. heineken light makes it ok to flip another no no no,t. you never flip another man's meat. award-winning heineken light is the best light beer you've ever tasted. that's true. can i have one?

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back! now, even though the second presidential debate ended 48 hours ago, people are still dealing with the aftereffects, like an earthquake or a vie nearly disease. so to chat about what happened, we're joined by michelle wolf, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) wow, michelle, first, can we start at the top like this debane -- i don't know why i said debane. >> the debane of our existence. ( laughter ) >> trevor: what were the takeaways? >> the debate was just the cherry on top of a pussy sunday of a weekend. >> trevor: you know, you say that but am i the only one who enjoyed -- like, this weekend, every news anchor struggling to say the word pussy. >> oh, i've with one was so awkward. i felt like it was a single dad trying to explain to his daughter how to use a tampon for the first time.

he's just like, step one, you take it out of the wrapper and, step two, this doesn't look how i thought it would. step three, i think we, uh, try to find your mom and get this marriage back together. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you know, the debate seemed tame in comparison to the weekend but the debate was crazy. was i the only one who at some point feared donald trump wanted to strangle hillary? did you feel it as well? there was a point we have one was afraid. there were these moments during the debate. >> yeah, why is he looming? he doesents look like a presidential candidate. he looks like a creepy butler. jesus! barnsley! i told you to stop sneaking up on me! >> trevor: your soup, madam, your soup! >> ahhh! there are two of you! ( laughter ) you should give trump a bill, that way you always know when he's around. >> trevor: i feel like

stalkers watch trump and say, that's how you do it, oh! >> like he was auditioning for the worst version of phantom of the opera. ( laughter ) ( applause ) much better face. >> trevor: much better face. that's true. on top of that, michelle, you've got to admit, trump didn't do teshably especially considering he had the worst weekend of any politician in american history ever, maybe except for abraham lincoln, that's it. >> you are right. ever since that audio came out of trump's winna-bang-go, 48 republican legislators called for trump to step down or withdrew their support of him. >> trevor: which is admiral. >> before we congratulate these vagina robin hoods let's take a look. 15 voted against making it easier to sue against wage based sex discrimination. 48 co-sponsored a bill to limit

funds for abortion funding. 38 congressman didn't vote to keep police departmen planned p. >> trevor: so these people who are offended by trump actively voted against women's interests? >> welcome to america. ( applause ) i know, it's hard to wrap your head around, but it's wrong to disrespect women with your words. that's what legislation is for. >> trevor: michelle, one more thing before we let you go, trump went hard at hillary for her e-mails which seems to be a lingering weak point for her, actually. let's take a look. >> she's lying again because she said she -- you know, what she did with the e-mails was fine. do you think it was fine to delete 33,000 e-mails? i don't think so. she said the 33,000 e-mails had to do with her daughter's wedding and a owinga class. maybe we'll give three or three or four or five or something.

33,000 e-mails deleted, and now she's saying there wasn't anything wrong. >> trevor: even for someone who's a fan of hillary, you can't deny this email thing just seems to not go away. trump does have a point, 33,000 emails about a wedding? >> oh, my friend, you have never been on a wedding email chain, have you? ( laughter ) see, i don't know what those 33,000 deleted e-mails have in them, but if they were about planning a wedding, the only amazing thing is that it was only 33,000 e-mails. ( applause ) it takes 33,000 e-mails to decide which bridesmaid will get the strapless and which gets the halter. it takes 33,000 e-mails to decide what the theme of the bridal shower will be which is ridiculous because it's tea party, it's always tea party. get out your little hat! by the end of it, there are thousands of e-mails, you've lost six friends, the wedding has been canceled twice and your

fingers are bloody from pounding on the keyboard at 6:00 a.m. and, guess what is this you get to do it next year because lindsey just got engaged! ( cheers and applause ) you have to ask yourself, america, who do you want as president? a woman who has the efficiency to plan a wedding in less than 33,000 e-mails, or a fake billionaire who preys on women and uses them as sexual property? wait a minute, he's behind me, isn't he? >> trevor: yeah, he's behind you. >> please don't grab my pussy. please don't grab my pussy. >> trevor: all right, michelle wolf, everybody! we'll i'm here in bristol, virginia. and now...i'm in bristol, tennessee. on this side of the road is virginia... and on this side it's tennessee. no matter which state in the country you live in, you could save hundreds on car insurance by switching to geico. look, i'm in virginia... i'm in tennessee...

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this is how many people were born here. this is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee. this guy keeps the town dry. these guys would prefer it a little wet. this many are proud of what we make here. this is how many will go around bragging about it. this is our town. for 150 years, the home of jack daniel's. if you can't get here, just look for one of our postcards. they look like this.

"the daily show." tonight's guest is the co-host of "the breakfast club on iheartradio. please welcome charlamagne tha god! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ how are you? >> hey! ( applause ) what up, trev?

>> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: thank you for being here. for some people who don't know who you are -- >> a lot of people don't know who i am. >> trevor: a lot of people know your voice because you're on one of the biggest radio stations that's syndicated all over the country. >> 72 markets, but who's counting, "the breakfast club through iheart. >> trevor: you are really successful. >> praise be to god. >> trevor: the god or -- >> no, the big man upstairs. >> trevor: some people are confused. what does charlamagne tha god mean? >> i used to sell crack, and when i used to sell crack i said my name was charles, because if i said my real name they would know i'm my father's son because my name is larry because i'm from a small town. >> trevor: you sold crack and said my name is going to be charles? >> yeah, i did it when i was 17. it works now. ( applause ) >> trevor: you know what i love in that whole exchange,

he's like, my name, don't judge me for that. the crack dealing, whatever. ( laughter ) >> that was my past life, though. i don't glorify that at all. >> trevor: you actually don't. >> no, do i want. >> trevor: you're one of those people who has become really successful specifically for speaking your mind. some people have referred to you as the howard stern of hip-hop radio. >> minus about a billion dollars. >> trevor: which, like some people go, is an insult, you take it as a compliment. >> yeah. >> trevor: do you try to be controversial on your show? >> absolutely not. i think it's funny i get paid for something people should do anyway which is just be honest, you know. >> trevor: but you're honest -- for people who don't know, check out the the clips. it's really funny and scary at the same time. ( laughter ) you get threatened by rappers regularly. for instance, today, beanie sigel came to your show and wanted to punch you on the show for being honest. you have the infamous put some respect on it from birdman who

came to the show and he, too, wanted to end you. how sustainable is this? ( laughter ) >> i have been doing radio for, like, 18 years. you know what's funny? i don't give it as much thought as i should because i thought there are other things in the world to be more concerned about like i.s.i.s. >> trevor: you want rappers to deal with i.s.i.s.? ( laughter ) >> no! i don't concern myself with what rappers are thinking of doing to me on a daily basis. >> trevor: what's exciting for me is you have a show that people wouldn't typically think would have the reach it does -- >> why, because we're brack?! >> trevor: yeah, black and hip-hop, specifically. you had hillary clinton coming to you show and when she came on the show, you said to her face, i think you panned tore you -- pander the to black people. >> let's put it in context. my co-host said what do you

carry in her bag. she said hot sauce, i said this will be a time when people say you're pandering to black people. >> trevor: you called her out on that. donald trump has there ever been on your show. i don't think he ever there will. >> i do a segment called donkey of the day where i give somebody stupid. he has received the most donkey of the days ever! ever! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: charlamagne, let me ask you a question -- >> okay. >> trevor: if donald trump came to your show, was sitting across from you like many of the rappers do, what is the run thing you would want to ask donald trump to his face? >> have you grabbed a pussy this morning? ( laughter ) that would be my number one question. listen, there is nothing else to talk to donald trump about, okay? i feel like he knows nothing about politics so why are you ever discussing politics with him? ( applause ) so the only thing to talk about are donald trump at this point is pussy. and i feel sorry for hillary

clinton because it's, like, whether you love her or hate her, she's clearly more than qualified to be the president of the united states of america. she has the most experience, but she's trying to prove to america that she can run the country better than a reality show star can? it's literally like lebron james trying to prove himself playing basketball against peter griffin. it's ridiculous. >> trevor: you have a great campaign running on the show that you're a part of and that is respect my vote. >> respect my vote. >> trevor: respect my vote. >> go to respectmyvote.com, register to vote, if you haven't. >> trevor: what does respect my vote mean? >> i think personally it's respect your right to vote because i think right now we're looking at this (bleep) show, we're calling ate presidential election, and everybody's, like, i'm not voting for either one of them, if you don't have a better solution than that, i think you should get out and vote. >> trevor: i agree. but somebody says, charlamagne i

love everything you say, but i don't feel either of these candidates speak to me, i'm a young person, a black person, this is not a world i want to be involved in. why do i vote? >> if you don't have any other solutions go, vote. jay-z has a line where he says, government, f government, we politic ourselves. so even if you do vote, you have to empower yourself in some way, shape or form. you can't look to either presidential candidate to save you but you put the best person in office you think is the best for the job, but you have to put yourself in places in life to win. ( applause ) >> trevor: thank you for being here. >> yes, sir. >> trevor: check out respectmyvote.com and "the breakfast club" can be heard on iheartradio. charlamagne tha god, eve ♪ ♪ power, power to the lord ♪ power, power to the lord ♪

♪ power! lord ♪ ♪ sing girl, come on. ♪[ singing ]♪ sorry, ariana you gotta go. seriously? verizon limits me and i gotta get home.

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