- westside, mother[bleep]! [all screaming] [funky hip-hop music] ♪ live from comedy signal's world news headquarters in new york, the daily show with trevor noah presents, the late night 2016. let's get ready to ramble. [crowd cheering] captioning sponsored by comedy central >> tevor: welcome to the daily show. thank you very much i'm trevor noah and we are live live live live that's right. there's more room for mistakes. dam it. my guess from rolling stone magazines. let's get right to the people. the third and final presidential

debate of 2016 justnded and i must say all the prostitutes in vegas must have enjoyed the evenings because for once they got to watch others screw americans. this was america's night to let loose, let loose before she settles down and makes a commitment to one person. this is like a bachlorette party except he was on stage behind the podium. and what was actually the biggest difference from the last debate when the candidates could warned around and creep up on each other, right. but hillary wasn't taking any chances tonight she had a barbed wire fence installed just to case and got mexico to pay for it. if you thought it was hard to drop the craziness of the last debate where trump brought the accusers of. but hillary brought cuban as her guest which is a poor choice considering trump has shown he has no problem dealing with cubans at the debated. also brought all the women who

accused trump y. and those are the ones who lined up early, folk. trump on his side did bring a special guest tonight as you know and we'll get to that later. but that definitely wasn't his first choice as we discovered in these newly lifted voice mails. >> it's donald trump again, i don't know if you got my 48 other messages but i would like you to be my guest at the debate. if you're still mad i called you fat, i'm sorry although i think we can both agree you look a hell of a lot better now thought lost the weight. you're a total six so i accept your apology. >> tevor: it just doesn't work out. when those people didn't work out for donald trump, he decided to take a slightly different route. >> donald trump has invited the half brother of president obama. now malik obama is a donald trump supporter. he's from kenya but also a u.s. citizen and says donald trump will make america great again. >> our advisor is now saying

that barack obama's half brothr is just an appetizer. >> what are you doing. he brings obama's half brother? why? this is just the appetizer. that's the appetizer for the wrong table, that's what that is. what do you think like hillary's looking outgoing oh no, it's obama's half brother. [laughter] what is that. it doesn't make any sense. it's so strange. malik obama is not what i would call an appetizer. bad appetizer which is at the wrong table. i'm sorry i ordered the mozzarella sticks and i got malik, i wasn't thinking of this. although, although it did get a little crazy. i don't know if you guys saw this in the debates. when malik obama rushed the stage. it was crazy. then out of no where president obama came out and said malik, don't do this. this is between me and you. and malik is like this ends here

barack and the lightsabers came on. this was a spectacle is all i'm saying. you know, right before, sorry, you know right before, sorry. you know right, wow this is embarrassing. sorry, i'm a little distracted. i just noticed that someone brought my half brother to the show tonight. [laughter] is that you? >> you blew it again trevor. no wonder everyone in their village is calling you ebola. >> tevor: what, they call me ebola, why? >> because you were terrible in africa and you'll never catch on in america. ha ha. >> tevor: what a -- that's the debate. that's why trump had to pull up stants, he needed to win tonight. it didn't help he had billy bush hiding in his podium all night pressuring him what to do. is he was in there saying donad

i know enthuse -- how to end this debate. i've got tic-tacs. we see from the beginning hillary still has no regard for law enforcement in america. this time define not the f.b.i. but the fashion police by wearing all white after labor day. choose another outfit. she looked sly, i'm messing with her. this debate followed a pretty normal cycle for the debates. when the debates started, trump was strong stuck to his positions pretty well. he even found new ways of expressing himself. >> one of my first acts will be get all the drug lords, we have some bad ones, bad bad people in this country has to get out. sniff. once they're out we'll make a determination after the rest. we have some bad hombres here

we're going to get him out. >> tevor: there's so much funny. the last is my favorite, bad hombres look at you donald trump. connecting with the hispanic communities. the bad hombres. you see what i did there, i learned something. like the mexican people, trump talks about criminal and rapists but he says hombres. maybe we're not different after all. trump was like the bad drug dealer, we've got to get rid of the, sniff, bad drug dealers, the bad ones. the bad down side for hillary is that chris wallace got off more questions. once again when pressed about the substances of the laked e-mails, hillary defaulted to shifty mode. >> you are very clearly quoting from wiki leaks and what's

really important about wiki leaks is the russians have espionage against americans. they have hacked american websites, american accounts of private people, of institutions. then they have given that information to wikileaks. >> tevor: yes, you're right, hillary. russia hacked your e-mails and gave your stuff to wikileaks but now that the information's out there you can't just expect us to ignore it by bringing up russia. you can't do that. no one else gets away with that. yeah honey, but how did you find out. i have glitter on my shirt. was it putin? yes. hillary brought russia into the conversation. and if we've learned anything from international relations once russia gets involved in conflict things go from bad to worse. >> from everything i see has no respect for this person. >> well that's because he would rather have a puppet as

president. >> y ou're the puppet. >> they engaged in cyber attack. >> you're the puppet. >> tevor: trump thinks all women are puppets that's why he's trying to stick his hand up them. honestly i tried to bring a glimpse into trump's mind tonight because donald trump really doesn't get why he's losing this election. >> last week they came out with a terrible jobs report. in fact i said is that the last jobs report before the election because if it is i should win easily, it was so bad. >> tevor: and i said -- things on the bus and everything went downhill. the problem with donald trump he gets angry and passionate he lets hillary destroy him and she destroyed him so hard with a calm answer that really spoke to americans. >> at the last debate, we heard

donald talking about what he did to women. and after that, a number of women have come forward saying that's exactly what he did to them. now what was his response? well, he held a number of big rallies where he said that he could not possibly have done those things to those women because they were not attractive enough or -- >> i did not say that, i did not say that. >> he went on to say look at her, i don't think so. he attacked the woman reporter writing the story calling her disgusting as he has called a number of women during this campaign. donald thinks belittling women makes him bigger. he goes after their dignity, their self worth, and i don't think there is a woman anywhere who doesn't know what that feels like. >> tevor: wow. that was powerful. that was an answer that trump

would really need to draw deep within his dignity and grace to recover from. and he did not. >> you have been warning at rallies recently that this election is rigged and that hillary clinton is in the process of trying to steal it from you. your running mate governor pence said his worst he will absolutely accept the results of this election. i want to ask you here tonight do you make the same commitment you will absolutely, sir, you will absolutely accept the results of this election. >> i will look at it at the time. i'm not looking at anything now. i'll look at it at the time. i'll tell you at the time. i'll keep you in suspense. >> tevor: i'm sorry keep us in suspense. am i the only one super freaked out by this. am i the only one, this guy just said he may not accept the election results. did donald trump just dismiss democracy like it was dressing

on a salad. do you know what i'll look at it later, put it on the side, put it on the side. i'll have it on the side. what do you mean you'll keep us in suspense. trump is going to run his campaign like an episode of scandal only with less black people and less women in power and less understanding of politics. but other than that exactly like scandal. am i the only thing who thinks that's horrifying. that's horrifying, right. >> yes, horrifying. every time donald thinks things are not going in his favor he thinks things are rigged against. he said the republican primary was rigged, he claimed the court system and federal judge is rigged against him. he didn't get an emmy for his tv program three years in a row and he started tweeting that the emmys were rigged. >> should have gotten it. >> tevor: this is this man. is that what trump's order of business going to be, emey form. donald trump we've seen your apartment the last thing you need is more gold my friend.

you've got enough. look, this debate had so many moments of crazy we couldn't portion it in the time we had. i will say this, though, that's it. that's the final time we'll see donald trump on the debate stage before we all refer to him as supreme leader. we'll be right back.

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now not as enthusiastic as 2012. >> young black voters are quoted as saying what many asupposed to do if i don't like him and i don't trust her choose between being stabbed and being shot. >> tevor: why do american analogies have to be so violent. choosing between red sox and stepping on a nuggle. why not something like that. choosing between trump or hillary is like being shot. is that real. i don't see it. shot or stabbed. it's more like would you rather be shot or would you rather look at a knife. that's what that is. how can america get young black voters to turn out. well roy wood, jr., let's ask him that question everybody. >> i'm here to talk to all you black millennials i like to call black-ennials or bl-illennials. >> tevor: why do you think that. >> because they're not happy. you're being asked to do

something you never had to do in a presidential election. choose between two white people. >> tevor: wow, i never thought of that. having obama -- >> you don't always get smooth black candidates. you know how desperate we were for black candidates back in my day. we had to create them. we saw bill clinton playing a saxophone standing next to arsenio. we're like close enough. [applause] there must be other ways to get their attention. why not have rappers make endorsement. >> that's because he rapid slow, you could understand it. all this new rap. that trap rap you can't understand it. politics, blah blah blah. really? >> tevor: i love that song by the way. i love it. let's talk about this. i mean young voters, young black voters have to choose between hillary and trump. so what do these candidates

offer them. >> well hillary's got something going for her. she fought against school discrimination in the 70's. and mary -- would like to give her a concert. ♪ it ain't no secret it ain't no secret. >> it ain't no secret trevor, that's hillary approved. >> tevor: i got to be honest, i don't know if that really helps hillary. >> in hillary's defense i don't think she knew that was mary, she thought that was the lady from the incredible. roy you say make america great again but whatever era you go back in time it's always bad for

black people. >> you're rung. trump can take us back to 30 minutes after the o.j. verdict. that was an afternoon. look at all that. baby, that was black d- day. >> tevor: i remember that. >> may trevor, i went to talk to some of these young black voters myself to see what was on their undecided minds. to reach to these voters i went to the ancestral home of america's black youth, brooklyn. you all not even hyped. it's immediately clear they were unhappy with their choices. >> he talks too much. >> i'm not sure if i want another clinton in the whitehouse. >> none of them have my genuine, i'm just frustrated. >> i got to choose between these two white people man. >> no. >> two white people lying to

minorities. that's the american way. so you got to make a decision on which white person whose lies you like better. >> no. >> you don't have people that reflect you. obama was the last person that reflected and looked like us. >> i'm going to give you all some real talk for a second. don't spoil it man. it will be the presidential candidate -- they had a president that could shoot three corners, his wife pool his hair, who coming back. say it with me. obama is gone. >> obama is gone. >> i got through obama. now i needed to pick someone. what about celebrity endorsements. people love celebrities. maybe that will convince them. you [bleep] don't understand the [bleep] election. don't [bleep] white lady. i support donald trump. i want to just wait, you supported me. now i support trump while he gets ready to rape america.

>> oh my god. >> i guess i just needed to ask them straight up why they didn't have any love for the candidate. >> very insensitive. >> the e-mail scandal. >> found out they had plenty to say on that. >> you were holding your vote on hillary because you're not sure you can trust her. there's something maybe a little evil about her. the crime bill from 94 and you say she got no backbone. you're not sure about trump because he's angry, acts like a child is disrespectful to race, religion, black lives matter, babies, america, women, latinos, muslims, black people, china, iraq, the whole gulf and the media and himself. you're not sure who you want to vote for. okay, what if we just focus on one issue that black ma -- millenniums say is important to

them. >> he's going to rub you down and see you to jail, stop and for example. hillary has 17 point presentation on her website detailing her plans to reduce inequality and pollution and stop privatizing prisons and stop mandatory sentencing. >> now she wants to be president we're getting a power point presentation. >> exactly. >> at this point a power point presentation is all we got. >> no, not really. >> you know i think these ma length annuals have to lower their expectation. >> like really really lower their expectations. hillary hits you, you hit the windshield and roll off it. >> i think the clear choice is

to hit the car and roll over the roof. roof. >> you still

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i we worked with pg&eof to save energy because wenie. wanted to help the school. they would put these signs on the door to let the teacher know you didn't cut off the light. the teachers, they would call us the energy patrol. so they would be like, here they come, turn off your lights! those three young ladies were teaching the whole school about energy efficiency. we actually saved $50,000. and that's just one school, two semesters, three girls. together, we're building a better california. >> tevor: welcome back to the daily show coming to you live. my guest is a contributing owed ter for rolling stone magazine the bureau and failure of donald trump is in the current issue. please welcome matt taibbi. you've written fantastic articles about this. you just watched the debates. would you agree this seemed like a pre trump era debate. >> yes. i think about 15 or 20 minutes

into it i kind of found myself nodding off and i realize this is like every presidential debate i ever experienced before donald trump was presidential candidate. >> tevor: we got the sugar. now we don't know what a normal debate is supposed to be. >> we won't know what it's like again after that. >> tevor: why are you not fighting, come on, come on. looking at the debate and what the people were talking about when you look at the candidates, hillary sticking to her message. trump, at some point it was talking point like talking point nothing new coming up. >> like a community you can appreciate it. it is random material at this point. >> tevor: i appreciate it. >> not you personally. but yeah, they're saying the saying things over and over again. following trump around the campaign trail. how many times can he talk about how hillary's created isis and how many times can he say make america great again. we've heard this stuff 500 times before. we'll be glad when this is over.

>> tevor: you are someone in a unique position because you have followed trump around. in fact you have an amazing article in the rolling stone magazine. you have an image that accompanies that article. that is a powerful image, it really is. and it sums up everything that seems to be happening. why did you go with that image. >> that's our illustrative victory. he was listening to shoop earth death of the maden and there's a famous statute that looks like that. he just slipped the hand up a little bit more for the illustration. >> tevor: it feels that is what trump is doing to america as a whole, foregoing all the rules. the fact he said i may not accept the results, where does america go from there. >> it's an unbelievable thing he said and it's funny. this is sort of the primary thing i think that is trump's fatal flaw you can't stop being a reality star. if you were a reality star that's what you would do to promote the final episode. but this isn't a tv show, it's

real life. this is a problem he's had throughout the entire race. from the beginning it really helped him because it got him a lot of free coverage but now he can't get out of the mode of getting free coverage all the time and saying crazy things to stir up attention. he doesn't know this is the real thing and it's not a game and that's a real problem. >> tevor: you have a quote i want to read here. this was from that article. amazing. you said the experiment is -- sex and food. not even america deserves that but that doesn't mean we come out ahead. we're mow divided than ever, circumstance than ever and dumber than ever and there's nothing to make us think it won't be worse next time. do you think this is the beginning of trumpisms in politics. >> how do you see it getting better from here. we set the bar so low for our politics in this election. it's really hard to imagine this bouncing back to a more rational thought out debate in the next election. we set the bar this is what it's going to be from now on and it's

really depression. >> tevor: it's interesting in your article you said that donald trump set out to do something and in other words destroy the establishment and in many ways he may have galvanized it's more than anyone else could have. >> he's totally delegitimized protest and after he loses this election which i'm sure he's going to, the answer to any questions you're going to have about your leaders from now on would you rather have trump as president. that's what we're going to hear for the next four years and maybe eight years. he set out to direct the system and instead the system will be stronger than ever. >> tevor: i hope you're right in your prodiction that he does in your prodiction that he does lose because if not

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madden nfl 17 and xbox. only at pepsiandtostitos.com and so when i saw that, that was completely disqualifying. i'm a republican, but this election is so much bigger than party. my son max can't live in trump world. so i'm crossing party lines and voting for hillary. i don't always agree with her, but she's reasonable. and she's smart. she can work with people to solve problems. i want to be able to tell my kids that i did the right thing when it really mattered. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message.

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you can't do that on a mac. >> tevor: that's it for tonight's show. thank you so much for tuning in. stay tuned for @midnight coming up next. a zen moment. >> this is very bad for this country. you can't polish this turd, i'm sorry. technically you cannot polish any turd. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheers and applause] >> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight and the day resets and we announce a winner. i'm chris hardwick. this is all the news everyone's talking about behind your back. as you know, we had our third presidential debate tonight between white madea hillary clinton and children's catalogue hand model donald trump.

but we tape this show in the afternoon, before it aired. the good news is, we didn't have to watch it; but the bad news is, we don't know what happened. what happened! judging from past debates, they didn't discuss any real issues besides the ones that affect them directly and not, you know, the country gives a [beep] about. or a problem to be solved. so, there was no prayer at all that they talked about the one issue that's most important to me: why haven't they renamed fire ants spicy boys. this is a very important issue. [cheers and applause] >> chris: alright. this is -- this is a change.org petition. 78,000 people are calling for this. we're only half way to 150,000. do you understand if we get to a 150,000 michelle obama has to

address this. we need to call ants spicy boys. [cheers and applause] >> chris: thank you. but a very real issue right now is global hacking club wikileaks, which has been accused of trying to influence the election by releasing thousands clinton campaign emails. wikileaks is fronted by julian assange, the australian-born computer programmer who looks like klaus kringle, santa's rebellious son. since 2012, assange has been running the organization from inside the ecuadorian embassy in the united kingdom, where he was granted asylum to escape extradition to sweden. one note: not complicated enough! well, this week, in response to american pressure, the ecuadorian government punished assange by making every millennial's nightmare come true: they cut off his internet! comedians, now that assange has lost internet access, how's he going to pass the time in the embassy? ben roy. >> act like a cat and chase the laser sites from the