yay! one day, people. now it's only 1,459 days to go. but look, even though so much of yesterday felt like bad news, it wasn't a total buzz kill. >> marijuana was a big winner last night. >> massachusetts approved measures to legalize recreational pot. >> four states did pass laws that let adults smoke marijuana for fun. >> trevor: oh my god, people are smoking marijuana for fun. (laughter). >> trevor: for fun, as opposed to people without smoke it for work, for fun. you know, real quick, can i just say right now, america is the most gangsta country in the world. you know how weird it is to me that while you are voting for president, there is a question on the ballot about weed. this is like someone in there, yes, i'm voting for donald trump, and also yeah, i would like some weed, i would like some weed, yes, i do. i will say, it is a great way to get young people to the polls. do that all the time, add a

party question to every vote. yeah, how do you feel about brexit, and also shots? and this is one guy in america who could use a hit right now. it's soon to be former president barack obama. because you know what they say, when they go low, we get high. >> i had a chance to talk to president-elect trump last night about 3:30 in the morning, i think it was, to congratulate him on winning the election. and i had a chance to invite him to come to the white house tomorrow, to talk about making sure that there is a successful transition between our president sees. >> trevor: that's when i knew it was real. that is the moment when i was like oh, this is real. i also think that will be the first time donald trump knows its real. to have more about experience we have experienced i am joined now by michelle wolf, everybody, michelle wolf. joining us in studio. michelle?

how are you feeling right now? >> well, as my auto correct would say, duck this ducking election. i feel like i just got broken up with someone whose uglier and has a worse personality. i mean how did this happen? experienced politicians versus racist fake gynecologist. i mean wow, america, i mean i knew you were sexist, i have seen your carl's, jr. commercials, but instead of electing a woman president, we chose donald trump, who shouldn't even be president of lunch meat. i mean it's not even about not voting for hillary, it's about people voting for donald trump. the worst thing to happen to women since yeast. >> trevor: oh, yeast, because the yeast in bread and then bread. >> no! i do not have time to explain that to you right now, trevor!

(laughter) look, women make up half of this country, trevor, and now we have a leader who only sees us as ass and tits. i mean even porn hub thinks we're more than that. they highlight so many other parts of women that i didn't even realize were sexy. i mean 3 million hits for an elbow fetish, who knew. >> trevor: wait, i don't understand, the elbow, why-- oh, oh, oh, i get it i investor thought of that. men are disgusting. >> men are creeps. >> trevor: so in this election, men really screwed the woman over. >> i mean we've always known that there are some men that are against women. but [bleep] blew my mind in this election is that 42% of women voted for trump. 42%! i mean look, i get it, i get if you don't agree with hillary's policies ou are really for some gods damn reason hung up on her emails. but you went with trump, the guy

who said women without get a,-- abortions should be punished, without walks in on teen beauty queens changing, who would grab a pussy, that guy. you thought that guy was better for you than hillary. the grabber. i mean even if it's con sen eucialtion you don't grab a pussy. it is not how you handle a pussy. how are you supposed to be able to handle a country! if you can't handle a pussy! it's not hard. you learn it in like middle school. i don't get it. i don't get it and some of those women didn't want hillary to become president because she is a woman. that is right, women can be misogynists too, just proving that women can do anything that men can do, except be president! and you want to know the saddest thing i've heard all day? >> to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt

that you are valuable, and powerful, and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams. (applause) (cheers and applause) >> the saddest thing i heard all day is that we have to be reminded of that. >> trevor: thank you, michelle, michelle wolf, everyone, we'll be right enjoy your phone! you too. (inner monologue) all right, be cool. you got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at&t... what??.... aand you got unlimited data because you have directv?? okay, just a few more steps... door!

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with 10 delicious items like my bacon and egg chicken sandwich, southwest scrambler plate, a sparkling blood orange cooler, and homestyle potatoes. served all day, every day. only at jack in the box. cheergs plaws. >> trevor: welcome dak to the-- welcome back to the 2k5eur8ee show. here with more on trump's election we're joined by senior political analyst hasan minhaj, everybody. hasan, how are you feeling right now? >> trevor, like many americans i have spent the last 12 hours

refreshing the canadian immigration website which keeps crashing. so i am panicking, because melonin doesn't rub off. but look, donald trump won. we got to take the l. he spoke to people who felt ignored by washington and wanted their jobs back. and i understand. i don't quite get how you get there by electing a guy who collects bankruptcy the way michael jordan collects rings, but okay, they deserve to be heard. and last night we heard them. but i can't forget something else i heard. on december 7th, 2015, donald trump called for a total and complete shutdown of muslims entering the united states. i remember that date because it is the birthday of the worst [bleep] day of my life! seriously, how is that not instantly disqualifying. even if that's not why most people voted for him, open racism should just be a deal breaker. you personally may not be a

racist, sexist, xenophobe but that comes with the package. right? like if a car woman's with heated seats, you may not want them but you'll take them. >> trevor: but then if the seats go hey, don't sit on me, camel jockey. >> you should be like hey, i don't want the car. >> trevor: makes sense. >> so if you take that deal, what you are telling me is hayman, i don't hate you. i just don't care about you. >> trevor: i hear you, hasan, i hear you. but islamophobia in america is nothing new. you have encountered this many, many times since 9/11. >> have i pretended to be puerto rican a few times since 9/11. si! but it used to be when i walked on a plane, i could feel the stares and suspicion. and it sucked. but at least i knew the pesident of the united states had my back. mostly because he's also a muslim. we can say it now, it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter. he's muslim, okay. who gives a [bleep].

but now that assheel in seat 21b calling floot flight attendant to get off the plane, now that guy is the president. plus i also think he's probing the lad-- groab groping the lady sitting next to him. i don't want people thinking oh, that poor little muslim boy, that little brown boy, your life is tough. no, it's all of us. it's not just muslims or mexicans or african-americans t is all of us, whether it's your citizenship, marriage rights, freedom of speech, donald trump is going to move on them like a bitch. >> trevor: that was his line, you just quoted his line. >> yeah. >> trevor: that is what he said. you know though, that there is a chance, and i know it's weird to say this, there is a chance that maybe he'll end up being more moderate. >> oh is, xenophobia, that's cool, low calorie racism, hmmmm, like what? this is a true story. my mom is out of the country right now, she's visiting my

grandma. and she's a u.s. citizen. she has lived here 30 years. she's on the phone with me last night, and she's like hasan, i don't know if i can come back until february. am i going to be able to get back into the country? and the fact that i can't tell her yes, with 100% certainty is heartbreaking. and there are a lot of people telling me hey, man, don't worry. trump's not really going to ban all muslims. but i don't know, man, that is my mom. and i need her back home because i love her, and she owes me $300. (laughter). >> trevor: hasan minhaj, everybody, we'll be right back.

(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is the washington d.c. bureau chief for buzzfeed news, please welcome john stanton. (applause) welcome to the show, sir. >> good to be here. >> trevor: you have quite an interesting story. i met you awhile ago. but i mean a lot of people are looking at you now, an when i say buzzfeed reporter, reporting in washington, i guess it will come as no surprise that for 20 years you are also working as a bouncer while covering with was

happening in the supreme court, and in washington. >> yes. >> trevor: that is quite a flip. >> not really, actually. it does give you some useless skills. this year actually they will come in very handy am have i been hit in the head with bottles several times at trump rallies. so getting hit in the head with bottles at a punk rock show or junk jerks trying to-- . >> trevor: nice, nice, i like your bouncer skills will come in useful as a reporter. i feel like all the other reporters are like hey, you can show us a few tricks. >> yeah, yeah. >> trevor: will you let's talk about this world we are now living in it is now officially trump's world. we are all in it. >> that is the space that we are in, trump is preparing his cabinets. he's-- there ray few names floating about. what are the scariest and maybe the, if there are, some of the more exciting things to look forward to in the first hundred days of donald trump? >> well, i think one of the things that i'm going to be watching for is what he does with the repeal of obamacare. i think it is a fore gone

conclusion that they're going to do it. the problem with him is that he has no sort of self-discipline or self-control and he absolutely is not a patient human being. >> trevor: yeah. >> and the senate they can filibuster a bill, which means they can basically stop it if the democrats want to, they have enough to do that. he will, i think it's more than likely try to force the senate republicans, the senate majoritiy leader mitch mcconnell to repeal the filibuster. which would be an extraordinary thing to do it is a check on the passions of the chamber and it ep coos them from doing things with haste, right. and really think about what they are doing. getting rid of that would make it possible to repeal obamacare, make it possible to do pretty much anything he wants to. >> trevor: how much damage could realistically be done. let's say you repeal the filibuster and now there is no balance and check as you say, in place. and now how much damage can you do in terms of passing laws? >> i mean any laws you can think of that he may want to do codo easily. especially given the fact that the republicans have made it pretty clear that ther real estate going to just give in to him. they've all become very, almost

overly polite. they look almost like gollu m, crawling towards. >> trevor: he has the ring. >> he does have the ring. >> trevor: he has the ring. >> yes, he does. >> trevor: it's funny that you say that. let's talk about that for a moment. i struggle with this. because i go republican, people go oh, the republicans won. and i argue, no, the republicans didn't win. donald trump won. donald trump beat the democrats and donald trump beat the republicans. >> yeah. >> trevor: there is a difference there. because now they are at his beck and call. yes, they control the senate and the house but now you have the situation where they are at his beck and call. do they stand up to him or do they bow? >> no, yeah, that's absolutely right. senator-- i was in missouri yesterday for the election, and everybody including people working on his campaign assumed he was going to lose. hours after the polls closed. and it wasn't only until we realized that trump was minuting missouri, because he was winning it, that we saw that roy blunt was going to be brought back to the senate. the only reason mitch mcconnell

will be running the senate is because of donald trump. and donald trump is going to use that power over him and other paul ryan and every other member of the republican party at any moment. and you know, he's made it very clear, he's used t he bludgeoned people in public. he's not the kind of person that is going to be afraid to beat up on them and try to run them out of office if they don't do what he wants. >> trevor: so now donald trump comes in, he takes office. he has his first hundred days. everyone is looking to that. he has laid out his plan. which of those plans do you think are actually realistic. which of those plans do you think he will set out to achieve as soons he can? >> i think he will start the process of supreme court nomination. because merrick gar did land is off the table at this point. i think will start the process of repealing obamacare. will begin the process of trying to get rid of nafta. i wouldn't be surprised if he starts putting noo place some sort of mechanism to build a wall in mexico, even if it is a fansful thing that like will go on forever, sort of like ronald

reagan's "star wars" program. it will be like, you know, the wall version of it. >> trevor: him picking out bricks every day. just like him choosing, we have chosen tera cotta folks, things are going well. like, you know, like a slow process of building-- it's ridiculous that we are even having this conversation. but you know, hopefully your reporting is going to ep ka us nferred. i will ask you that, before i let you go. as a reporter, are you a little bit worried? because donald trump in the middle of the campaign said we need to change the libel laws, folks. we need to reign in the media. you are in the media. you are reporting. donald trump has the house and the senate. when people stand up to donald trump, when he's now challenging the first amendment, what happens there? >> i don't noavment i don't know. i think there are a lot of us very concerned that he ask going to start trying to put us in jail. that he will start limiting our

access. we were one the first outlets that were banned by his campaign. and we were a giant pain in his ass because of that for a long time. they eventually let us back in. it appears right now they are not going to be going down that road but he has sort of understood it is a bit of a bridge too far. >> trevor: that is if you write something about him. >> when he's president t is unclear what is going to happen, whether or not he will try to take peun tiff mesh usuals against any of us or all of us. and that is a big concern for i think most reporters. and if it's not, they're fooling themselves if they think that show they are protected because, you know, they have a relationship where him. >> trevor: wow, it's a scary place to be in. at least you can handle the bottles. thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> trevor: thank you so much, john stanton, everybody, we'll be right back. thank you so much.

your can's thinking playoffs. your can's thinking division. nobody catches bo. your can's thinking houston. don't jinx it. your can houston. ♪ our show, stay tuned forrate midnight. coming up next, how here it is, your moment of zen. >> what we find is about 50% of this country, 60 pergs of this

country believe this country will be divided when we wake up tomorrow. this is an area that oh, oh no. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org sponsored by comedy central [cheers and applause] >> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight when the day resets and we announce a winner. gee, i wonder what the internet is talking about today. move over, brexit, because there's a new international crazy pants thing going on. last night, america elected donald trump to be president of -- [booing] >> chris: let's see what happens. president of the united states, much to the surprise of people who eat brunch. of course the big loser was alec baldwin. he's tramped to doing a trump impression for the next four to eight seasons we don't know. [ applause ]

naturally, millions of americans' first thought was to move to canada-- so many, in fact, that their whole immigration web site crashed! in canada there. can't be reached or they just took it down. enough, stop. come on, guys. i want to say something. i realize we're all a salad-spinner of emotions right now, and we should be. you should feel what you've got to feel. feel how you got to feel. but the way i see it, now's not the time to abandon america, kwaoeus. you don't want to go cry into some hockey player's mullet. the most american thing to do is stay, be the best person you can be and work to make your community better. work, love your family, be good to people. i will tell you something. i will tell you something now i have an [beep] oprah moment. because at the end of the day, it's people that make a country

great, not some clown who thinks -- sitting in the white house. [cheers and applause] >> chris: we are two, we put too much power on that person, who ever that person was going to be to make our lives better. we have to make our [beep] lives better. you guys make america great. you [beep] make america great. >> run for president. >> that being said, i have to go, guys. [laughing] >> chris: you know just do your best to move forward. president obama is. the soon to be ex president and ex-ex smoker took break from shaking his head at the american flag to invite trump to visit the white house tomorrow-- you know the condo where trump will slum it for a while. i know there will be awkward moments what will obama say to trump? >> welcome. you want to see the upstairs

bathroom or you just want to take a [beep] on the constitution. [cheers and applause] >> chris: good point. constitution, not the white house but i love you. vlad. >> donald. i made history being the first black president. you made history being the first orange one. >> chris: points. megan. >> i think he will say, don't shoot. >> chris: oh [beep]. oh my god. oh, damn. points. [ applause ] >> chris: first up, "more suffrage." the presidential election isn't a popularity contest, which is why both candidates thought they could win. hillary clinton is actually projected to win the popular vote, which has only happened four other times. so, technically, that's way harder to do than just winning an election! you guys, that's something. but not everyone agrees that our electoral system is good.

as one future u.s. president said: "the electoral college is a disaster for democracy." that was 2012. [ applause ] >> chris: oh ... [beep]. alright. comedians, if they did get rid of the electoral college, what's a better way to choose a president? megan. >> i don't know maybe who ever has sexually assaulted the fewest women. >> chris: okay. points. >> i think it would be cool to watch them do a watermelon [beep] challenge. >> chris: so who ever [beep] the watermelon. >> the best or the most water mel ons or -- you know. really it's just a visual. [laughing] >> chris: up next simpsons did it hard to predict last night

but the simpsons did it you know fx has every simpsons ever. we watch them in scores. one came up a few days ago. it was bart to the future. they go to a indan gaming casino, the future is predictd and lisa is president this. is what happens. >> as you know we have inherited quite a budget crunch from president trump. how bad is it. >> we're broke. chris: that's the year 2000. the year 2000 i hope we never see the realization of the episode where ned flanders defunctions planned parenthood. what other future predictions in old tv shows. >> an episode, i saw it an episode of "family matters" where steve urkle predicts the murder of jon benet ramsey. ya, go back and look.

go back and look. >> chris: go back and look. i watched every episode. i'm not seeing it. >> it's like, did i do that. chris: vlad. >> a episode of "sanford and sun" red fox predicts a big dummy would be president. >> that's probably is true. chris: i'm pleased our audience appreciated a good "sanford and son" reference. >> a episode of the today show that al roker predicted the weather. >> i don't believe. that. >> i don't believe it. >> yes, crazy. chris: that's the end of rapid refresh. [cheers and applause] >> chris: let's check the scoreboards. with tbd points, she's a writer on "portlandia"-- season 7 premieres on i.f.c. in january-- it's megan neuringer. [cheers and applause] >> chris: also with 400 points performing at drafthouse comedy in washington, d.c., january.