generosity is its oyou can handle being a mom for half an hour.

i'm in all the way. is that understood? i don't know what she's up to, but it's not good. can't the world be my noodles and butter? get your mind out of the gutter. mornings are for coffee and contemplation. that was a really profound observation. you got a mean case of the detox blues. don't start a war you know you're going to lose. finally you can now find all of netflix in the same place as all your other entertainment. on xfinity x1. >> welcome back to the only tv show that thinks it's disrespectful of hanukah to start on christmas eve this year. steve bannon's got his eye on you, hanukah. if you love reruns, you're in luck, 'cause you're getting one next week. give yourself the gift of following me on twitter. you know what never takes time off from work? tosh.cc.com. all season long i've been talking about the "tosh point show on campus." and here's who's in. what a list. more to come.

university of alabama, you are out. that's on you. i had agreed to come do a show, and then i was contacted by the school weeks later saying that they were rescinding their request because they didn't want to promote my name on campus. oh, i wonder who could be behind this? just because your head football coach can't handle a nine-year running joke where i trash his name at every opportunity, doesn't mean the students should suffer. saban, you're a "grade a" coward. all right, before we leave you for the holidays, here's a little something to warm your heart. and your arms. and your lap. >> wow. i wouldn't mess with them guys, bro. it's gonna kick off of you. >> oh, my god! >> oh, god. >> [retching] >> jesus. >> it's a white christmas. good luck finding an air freshener that'll cover the stench of sour tit milk. good night.

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: thank you so much for tuning in! welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. my guest from the film "moonlight," actor mahershala ali will be joining us! ( cheers and applause ) and then breaking news, donald trump's twitter. >> overnight president-elect donald trump retweeting attacks on a journalist after trump claimed voter fraud but provided no proof of voter misconduct. >> trump has shared tweets from supporters who are hitting our senior washington jeff zel zells

tweet saying he's pathetic. i it's pathetic! yeah! seriously, congrats to that keen teenage boy, just been named secretary of statement fantastic. and this whole thing with trump leads me to a question. have you ever argued with a toddler? if you have, you've probably lost that argument or killed a toddler. either way, you didn't win the argument because you can't win an argument against a toddler. toddlers will say the most odd landish (bleep) and the more you argue, the more enstretched they are in their views. a toddler will say anything, like my daddy is the strongest man in the world! no he's not. yeah, he is! no he's not. yeah, he is. prove it! you're, like, i can't prove it. he's, like, i told you!

( laughter ) the reason i'm saying this is over the course of the election season, we've come to realize there is a good chance that president-elect trump might have the mind of a toddler. ( laughter ) if you think about it, it makes sense. he loves the same things toddlers do. they like building things, they love attention, always grabbing things they're not supposed to. ( laughter ) ( applause ) and they love writing escalatorsisescalators, wee! look, mommy, wee! i bet that's the same thing with elevators. you know whenever trump gets into an elevator he's like, i push! and then presses all the numbers -- ahhh! ( laughter ) now, throughout the presidential campaign the media tried to figure out how to deal with trump's lies, then realized trump might actually win, so then they started doing their jobs. >> when trump claimed clinton or

staffers deliberately destroyed e-mails, the fact check team found it false. >> the bombs seen on the floor to have the san bernardino apartment, there were no bombs on the floor. >> trump made a number of families statements. >> trump's claim is false. >> trump spent the entire day repeat ago false claim that president obama literally is the founder of i.s.i.s. >> trevor: you knew trump's lies reached big league when cnn started fact checking them in their headlines. that's a real headline. trump called obama founder of i.s.i.s. -- he's not. almost like cnn says, we can't wait for you to watch the whole show you need to know this is (bleep) right now. don't even watch. here's the problem everyone realized about donald trump almost too late, facts mean nothing to him. donald trump has no relationship to facts. none. not even a distant cousin. he has a better relationship

with tiffany than facts. and that's saying something. if trump went on ancestry.com, he would not find any facts. or black people. none. ( laughter ) historically, every politician on the news has ever dealt with, they all have one thing in common, they're all amazing in bed. no, that's not true. they all have one thing in common -- in some way, shape or form they all use facts. even if they lie, politician's lies are based on fax. they base their lies on facts because they're aware that humans like facts so you're supposed to use them. for example, i want you to do this at home and in the studio, i want you to imagine the slimiest, most spineless, conniving politician you can -- just think of that person. the politician you're thinking of is ted cruz. thank you. thank you. thank you very much. thank you.

thank you. i'll be here all week. thank you. yes, ted cruz. the texas senator who's an invet rat liar and so bad even his birth certificate says lyin' ted on it. here's an example of how he lies. >> the computer model also predicted the earth would warm dramatically. there is one little problem, the satellites that actually measure the temperature have recorded no significant warming whatsoever for the last 18 years. ( babbling ) see what he did there? hard to see. we all know global warming is on the rise and has been for decades. we know because scientists have told us. ted cruz took the scientist's data and just used the cherry-picked section from the specific satellite data set that makes it look like global warming is not actually an issue when, in fact, we know that it is. it's almost like someone saying, man, i'm so good this year, this

entire year i haven't had any junk food! and you're, like, wow! it's only january 2nd! well, that's not the point. ( laughter ) but you see, what cruz did was he made a lie based on a fact. until donald trump this is how pal tigs lied. that's why fact shaming worked. think of terminators. most politicians are like the original terminator, arnold swards gnarring. a skeleton of truth and some lies. if you shoot away the exterior, the lies are exposed. every time you come at trump with facts he does this. ( laughter ) by the way, that guy's also in trump's cabinet. now, the media has never that did to deal with someone who is impervious to facts and clearly it shows. >> what do you do as a

journalist? >> how much time, energy and space should we be devoting to the demonstrably false claims the president-elect makes? >> do we overreact to every twitter and flutter from donald trump? >> frankly, i don't know what our job is as a journalist. are we just going to do donald trump's tweet of the day? ( laughter ) >> trevor: that poor man! he's having an existential crisis on air! i mean, what is a journalist anymore? what is life? what is tweets? i'm going to thailand! ( laughter ) my theory is i believe donald trump has created his own universe and from within that universe he takes a madeup idea, throws it at us in the real world and whether we can prove him wrong it doesn't matter, we've lost and now we're in in s universe. last night he tweeted anyone who

burned a flag should lose their citizenship. then there were all the arguments. once again, trump wins. doesn't matter. he could tweet that goblins are faster than unicorns and the next day the news would lose their minds for 24 hours. cnn would bring out a hologram uniform. don lemon would host a panel to talk about goblins and then trump would tweet about how the media is bad at journalist, talking about claims no one can prove because trump invented them. unicorns -- prove it! you're wrong. trump does this to the news all the time. he said cruz's dad killed j.f.k. and people spent weeks studying old pictures. he said thousands cheered in new jersey on 9/11. so reporters went around asking, did you cheer on 9/11? who cheered on 9/11? who likes 9/11? you?

no, not seven-eleven. i said 9/11! come on, man! ( applause ) i'm not saying facts don't matter, but we have to be smart about how we use them against donald trump because he's completely changed the rules of engagement. the same ways americans change the rules of engagement when they were fighting the british, and the british didn't adapt and that's why they lost. they, too, were, like, this is the way we've done it since the beginning of time! we can't fight like this! they won't tell us when they're coming! they won't break for tea! they're hiding! how can you fight a war when you're hiding? this is ridiculous! oh -- i'm dead. i'm dead. i've lost. i'm dead. ( laughter ) the truth is the news needs to adapt. one thing the news could try the treating trump like the toddler he is. you don't argue with a toddler if you want to win. don't amplify the toddler's voice because you will get

trapped in the toddler's world. rather keep asking the toddler to elaborate because logic is the downfall of every toddler. that and sho shoelaces but logic mostly. you don't fight. the toddler says my dad's the strongest man in the world! oh, yeah, what makes you say that? well, the other day -- uh -- he put something on the top shelf. >> is that tall oshelf. is that tall or strong? tall. another example? the other day he pick-ed me up. have you seen anyone else pick a kid up? yeah. still think your dad is the strongest? no. i don't think i should be president. ( laughter ) >> trevor: that's all you have to do, ask a toddler to elaborate. you won't convince trump he's wrong. but the trump is to gently demoralize the toddler and smother his tantrums and as a

bonus you could stop him from delegitimizin legitimizing the press. next time trump tweets something completely ridiculous, instead of fact chicking him, just say, oh, wow! donald, really? vote rigging? that's amazing! show me where it happened, big guy, and we'll investigate! and he'll be like -- i don't know. see, that way, the news can spend its energy on stories it can prove like how trump is nominate ago health secretary who wants to repeal the affordable care act and millions could lose their health insurance. or how trump's chief of staff says climate change is a bunch of bunk which means we'll all probably be underwater in 50 years. the things we should be focusing on. so news, report on what actually happens in the real word. if trump tweets a claim from his universe, tweet him back, pics or it didn't happen. ( applause ) we'll be right back.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." now, since the election, we have been hearing about a rise in anti-semitism. neo-nazis gathering in washington, swastika graffiti everywhere -- or at least i think those are supposed to be swastikas. for more, we turn to senior jewish correspondent adam lowitt, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor, this is an interesting time for jews, okay? we're nervous.

we've got constant anxiety. we're worried about the future. really, nothing has changed. but with all the hate swirling around, it was almost refreshing to see it done in such a creative fashion this past weekend. take a look. >> the russian tv shows taking heat online for a controversial performance show similar to "dancing with the stars" that it features ice skating. one of the couples raised brows outside of russia when they came out dressed as holocaust inmates, based on "life is beautiful" and earned the pair their highest score yet on the show. > >> yeah. that is so messed up. but maybe that's just because i'm jewish or because i live in new york or because i have a soul. i'm not sure. i never thought i would say this, but where is tanya harding when you need her? ( applause ) because now we have to remember two groups of survivors, the holocaust and the people who sat through that performance. now, you might be saying, oh,

these guys really didn't think it through but they thought of everything. watch and listen to some of these moves. running away from nazi dogs. getting shot by nazi machine guns. and finally going full hitler. yeah. i know sealing them do this is pretty messed up, but that is actually a sanctioned ice skating move called the schindler's twist. ( laughter ) high degree of difficulty because you have to do it while avoid the voices in your head going, no! these guys have taken the most serious event in history and combined it with the silliest art form in h history, like cirque du soleil presents 9/11. ( audience reacts ) it's a good show. ( laughter ) by the way, the dancers got a perfect ten. know why? because judges can't give holocaust victims bad scores. they have been through enough.

russias, i don't want to get in the way of your creative process, but let's have a truly. you can still dance like no one's watching but ice dance like everyone's watching. donald trump will probably ask him to perform at his inauguration. ( laughter ) >> trevor: adam lowitt, we'll be right back. yea, just text me. you're gonna get a text. this must be what antonio brown feels like in the end zone. [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he got katie's number. ♪ pepsi.

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and even carry over the data you don't use. and right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only $40 per line. and, just for the holidays, buy the new pixel phone by google and get $400 back. i love you in that, no, i love you in that. no, i love you in that! (vo) get the best deals and the best network, only on verizon. #. >> trevor: welcome back. tonight's guest can be seen in "luke cage" on netflix and stars in the new film "moonlight." >> why you didn't come home like you're supposed to, ne huh? and who is you? >> nobody. i found him yesterday. found him in a hole on 15th. yeah, that one. some boys chased him in the cut. he's scared more than anything. he wouldn't tell me where he lived till this morning. >> well, thanks for seeing to him.

he usually can take care of his-self. he's good that way. >> little man. >> trevor: please welcome mahershala ali! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> thank you. thank you. >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me, brother. >> trevor: i am such a huge fan of yours. >> oh, thank you. it's mutual. >> trevor: every time i see you on screen, i'm, like, oh, this is going to be good. you know there are certain actors where you're just, like, oh, we're on now. >> that's pressure. i hope not to let you down. >> trevor: before we get to "moonlight," let's just chat about the world. the world of acting, the world you've come from.

you are really enjoying a great moment in your career right now. you grew up in oakland, california. >> born in oakland, grew up in a little suburb next to it, hayward. >> trevor: you used to race bicycles for a living? you wanted to do that? >> i started racing in the american bicycle association at four, and i raced until i was ten. i was about two years from turning pro, so i got to expert -- the next level was pro but you couldn't turn pro till you were 12 or 13. ( laughter ) >> trevor: the world of sport is amazing -- wow, i want to be a pro but i had to wait until i was 12. i can imagine 10-year-olds and 12-year-olds walking by, going, look at these kids. we're pros. ( laughter ) that sounds strange to us but how do you know you're going to be a pro bmx racer? are you just super fast?

>> i think when you're that age, you're just looking for anything that is in some way -- you're eating up and responding and absorbing to any positive feedback you're going to get. >> trevor: when you talk about positive feedback. that's all you have been getting because you're an amazing actor. "house of cards" is probably the first show people saw you in. you were running the place. you can character was that kind of guy. what was interesting is there was a point when you were filming "house of cards," you were also doing "luke cage" and, at the same time, "moonlight." >> yes. >> trevor: how do you switch between all those characters? how do you get your mind into that place? >> well, i was concerned about that. there was a little bit of resistance at first in doing "moonlight" because there was also one other project called

"future relic," so i would have been doing four at one time. >> trevor: yeah. >> so something i've picked up over the years was to make these individual -- these play lists specific to my character. >> trevor: with the music you had been listening to? >> music the character was list i didn't think to. >> trevor: remy works in washington, lobbyist, who is he listening to? >> i always thought about remy being seem energetically to jay-z. >> trevor: i'm picturing jay-z in washington, d.c. >> chief of staff next to obama. >> trevor: biggest fil filibustr ever -- i got 99 problems, the flint crisis is one of them, we got to talk about it right now -- that would be fun. ( laughter ) >> yes. >> trevor: "moonlight," you play a character conflicted on so many levels. you're playing a man who clearly wants to be a father, positive

influence in his community, but at the same time is a drug dealer. >> yes. >> trevor: when you are playing that character, how are you getting that person across to us on the other side of the lens? >> well, what attracted me to this part is, when i read moonlight, it was so refreshing and moving to me because the people that i grew up with, who i was relatively close to, who sold drugs or the people who i knew who dealt in that element growing up, to me, were still people i admired and loved and loved to this day. so when i saw juan on the beige, what was we -- on the page, what was refreshing to me is he was somebody who felt like people i grew up with, who were full human beings, who loved me and loved their kids, so he was