tv The Daily Show Comedy Central December 13, 2016 11:00pm-11:32pm PST
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comedy central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: thank you so much, everybody. and thank you to you. welcome to "daily show." i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight from "the atlantic," ta-nehisi coates is joining us, everybody, in the studio. i'm so excited. ( cheers and applause ) but yesterday was-- wow.
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one of the most insanely amazing days of my life. i got to interview the president of the united states of america. and, i mean, i dwoan don't thinu guys understand how terrified i was, you know, the whole time-- no, because here's the thing. here's the thing. i'll share this with you. people will be like, "you're cool," and everything. there's nobody who is cool next to the president. it's my first interview with him. i could mess this whole thing up. i know people are going to watch it and i am not just worried about screwing it up. i'm worried about bringing a brother down with me in the process. ( laughter ) everything in my head i was like, "what was that questionented to ask? and what if he says this?" and you're thinking of all of these things. but the scariest part of the whole interview for me was i was thinking about when i would meet the president for the first time and shake his hand. i know this sounds crazy, but my greatest fear was that he would give me, like, the stiff
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handshake. you see that? that moment there? ( laughter ) you don't even understand how much that meant to me upon i was like, if this guy doesn't give meet black handshake, i'm gone. ( laughter ) no, you laugh, you laugh. i was like, this could be it. if obama came in and was just like, "hello." and then i'm gone. and it was like obama meeting one of his white fans. and then i'm out. and people would be crying jordan on my face because, there-- they wouldn't even be crying. it would be like crying larry bird. i was terrified. but, yeah, it was an amazing moment, and i thank you for watching, everyone that did. it was a fantastic day for me. it really was. i'll tell you now, everybody is going to miss this man when he's gone. everybody is going to miss him when he's gone. ( applause ) so yesterday was a huge day for me. and today was a huge day for yay. >> moments ago, kanye west arrived and he went up the
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elevator at trump tower. we don't know exactly where he's there. he didn't answer any questions as he walked in. >> trevor: yes, donald trump and cun yay ha kanye had a meet. look at kanye west's hair. he was in trump tower less than an hour, and they put gold plate in his hair all right. i guess it could have been worst. kanye could have come out rock the full donald. i would have known he was completely gone. the meeting must have gone well because not long ago-- and this is real-- kanye tweeted #2024, meaning he is not going to run against trump in 2020, and that my mean we get to see trump featured in the bound three music video. ( laughter ) this is exciting. this is competing. you know what for me, even better those two meeting was the news coverage of it. >> they actually called him
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names at the end of every article, so in that sense-- i'm sorry, i just heard something. oh, my goodness. >> kerry's really strong relationship with czar eve was really instrumental in the iran deal-- >> we have to take you to trump tower right now, donald trump and kanye west. >> look at that! >> trevor: oh, man! the media is the best. >> the situation in the middle east is looking increasingly-- i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm happy you're talking about human tragedy and i'm going to let you finish but we have one of the best news stories of all time. it makes you wonder how america ended up electing a media present when the media is so focused on the issues. one of the positioning president-elect trump needed to fill was the position of secretary of state, which is the the senior cabinet position with the most important job and that is telling the rest of the world why america had to bomb them. it is also tonight's profiles in
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tremendousness. >> i know the smartest people in the world. i know guys that are so good. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: yes. after weeks of searching, trump has finally picked a secretary of state. , and no, it was not mitt romney. but, hey, at least trump took him out for dinner before he (bleep) him. a classy guy, a classy guy. and a genius move from donald trump because you realize he just ensured room me can never talk (bleep) about him again. although, i will say making romney get that tattoo was a step too far. i don't think that was necessary. if mitt romney didn't get the job, then who did? >> after weeks of interviews and mulg the decision president-elect trump has announcehis choice of secretary of state. it is moment o exon c.e.o. rex .
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>> trevor: rex tillerson! i have never heard of him before, i don't know who that is, bit know i should be angry. i do know his name is an anafram for roller sexton, and he's the man who is is going to replace current secretary of state, horne jerk. that's a real anagram of his name. rex isn't just an anagram. he is the c.e.o. of exonmobile which is really impressive. but what does an oil man know about the intricacies of international relations. >> tillerson in many ways has maid career of working in parallel to the state department of many countries. >> exon has a massive reach, operating in 50 crifs worldz wide. >> exon has their own department that does forecasting of the same kind that the c.i.a. does. he has had a dry run for the job in a way very few c.e.o.s
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have. >> trevor: that is insane. this man had his own c.i.a. i'm impresswith that. trump was also probably impressed but for his name. "wow, your name is rex, like a dinosaur. pretty cool!" another important part of being secretary of state is cultivating good relationships with foreign leaders. the question is, is tillerson up for the job? >> he's got very close connections with the kremlin at its highest level. he's met vladimir putin on numerous occasions. >> in 2013, putin awarded him the "order of friendship" medal, one of the highest russian honors to be received. >> putin pinned that medal on his chest. >> trevor: you know your country is hard core when friendship gets a medal because in america people are just like, "friends, friends, friends, friends." russia is like, "we know each
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other. don't get comfortable." that's how close these two are. tillerson even got vladimir putin to smile. yeah, look at that. nobody's ever done that before which you can tell because if you zoom into that picture it's clear piewt sen figuring out how to smile by looking at tillerson. it's like, wolf, how do you do this? like dog but no bite? what is this-- what is happy? what is that? what is this?" ( laughter ) now, now, now putin and tillerson's friendship is built on a lot of things-- their shared values, their work ethic. oh, and the capitol hill 500 billion oil deal that they signed in 2011. but mostly based on their values. and you don't have to stress about this deal because it never went-- into effect because you see in response to russia's invasion of ukraine, obama imposed sanctions on russia, which exwhroked the exxon oil deal, and in order to lift the sanctions, you need somebody
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like the secretary of state to convince the pres-- oh! oh, look at that. you know, i don't know if russia hacked the election and tilted it toward trump, but if they did, that investment has already paid off. and i'm not going to front. i'm kind of enjoying this about trump's administration. he doesn't do subtext. instead of acting like oil is just an added bonus of america being overseas, why not just let the number one oil executive run your foreign policy? cut out middle man. yeah. that's a nice change for america. even the rain forest is like, "hey, at least he's honest." ( laughter ) we'll be right back.
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this many are proud of what we make here. this is how many will go around bragging about it. this is our town. for 150 years, the home of jack daniel's. if you can't get here, just look for one of our postcards. they look like this. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to "daily show." now here at the "daily show" we make a concerted effort to address all of the problems facing this country, and today is no different. >> how do we go to the bathroom in space? ( laughter ). >> trevor: that's right. you see, for me, it's like a roller coaster. one day i'm interviewing the president. the next day i'm thinking about space poop. and this is a real story. for decades, astronaut astronaue worn diapers in their space suits to deal with going to the bathroom. i don't know why they can't hold it, but whatever. but now space missions traveling further into orbit than ever before, so nasa is looking for a
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more sustainable way deal with the waste over these longer trip times. is exn else turned on right now? no? just me? in so, and you have any ideas there may be some money in it for you. >> the space agency has launched what it calls "the space poop challenge." >> nasa is offering a $30,000 prize if someone can create a way for astronauts to go to the bathroom while staying in their space suits up to six days. >> trevor: now, some say when it comes to figuring out a way to take a dump in space, george lucas already did that with the phantom menace. no, no, i don't think that. i love that movie. i'm just saying some people. some people. here's at the "daily show" we're always up for a challenge so we sent our correspondents to pitch some ideas for nasa to a panel of america's best judges. ♪ ♪ >> hi, guys. barb remark i love you on "shark
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tank." and tim gunn, make it work. so good. and-- sorry, i don't know who you are. >> no, i'm actually one of the top astrophysicists here at nasa. >> oh, sorry, i thought upper famous. i've been thinking a lot about how to get rid of astronaut feces. and then i realized, why get rid of it? why not just harness its power? introducing the turtlizer. so the astronaut feces fertilizesced strategically next to the anus. now the potted plant then respirates life-giving oxygen back up to the astronaut. boom. >> how fascinating. so it's a self-contained green ecosystem inside your pants. >> that's right. and there's more. check this out. oh! i'm a poor astronaut. look at me! i'm so busy doing science and moving my bowels, that i've worked up quite the appetite.
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well, just my luck. my ass plant bears fruit. thanks for the pitch. ♪ ♪ >> tim, barbara, some scientist. so the problem here is that astronauts have been defecating and the product is staying near to the a, is shole-- i mean, anus. not anymore. this tube carries the fecal material away from the anus in this direction. >> you're taking the waste from the astronaut's dorsal side and rerouteing it where? >> yeah, i'm pooping on my dick. now, this is version 1.0-- >> i'm sorry, ronny, but total design failure. >> you don't want me to unhook this, okay? >> no, we don't.
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♪ ♪ >> this looks impressive. >> stylish, but practical. >> you're damn right it is-- oh, i'm sorry. damn right it is. ha-ha! it's a spacesuit with the booty cut out, so want flap is already down, the butt is already up. that way, you can take a dump whenever you want it. and there's a nice cool breeze-- basically, to sum it up-- business in the front, potty in the back. >> all right, thank you for your time. >> it also doubles as an alternate propulsion system. >> thank you. >> i'll show you-- the-- the-- >> thank you. thank you! ♪ ♪ okay, we're ready to pick a winner. desi, we were very impressed by your creativity.
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but there was some concern that your spacesuit is literally the stuff of nightmares. >> thank you. >> that was not a compliment. i may never sleep again! >> roirk your design simplicity posed an elegant solution. however, it would result in astronauts being sucked out of their spacesuit into the coal vacuum of space where they would die naked and alone. >> i hadn't really given that much thought. i'm sorry. >> which leaves us with our winner, ronny. >> yeah! i made the best spacesuit. >> oh, no, as a spacesuit it's an utter disaster. >> but we do see its potential as a kinky fetish accessory we can market to german perverts. >> okay, cool. ( laughter ). >> trevor: we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
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are prepared to how weather may impact their energy. so every single day we're monitoring the weather, and when storm events arise our forecast get crews out ahead of the storm to minimize any outages. during storm season we want our customers to be ready and stay safe. learn how you can be prepared at pge.com/beprepared. together, we're building a better california. >> trevor: welcome back. my guest tonight is a national
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correspondent at "the atlantic", whose latest piece is called, "my president was black." please welcome ta-nehisi coates. ( cheers and applause ) welcome. >> i gave you the black handshake. >> trevor: dude, you know what is so funny, you wrote about that in-- i was reading the piece last night, and i was like, oh, man, i didn't-- it was a moment in time where you go, barack obama straddles two lines. where he is, yes, president, but you cannot deny that your president was black. and it's that small moment where you go, do i make it? do i not? welcome to the show. >> thanks. >> trevor: this article is really powerful. "my president was black." what does that title mean. >> there was a lot moment during the inauguration, and young jay-z on the stage doing "my
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president was black" and it was a beautiful, joyce moment and i wanted to conjure that and make it a little-- like this thing had actually ended. and it kind of all sort of fit together. >> trevor: this is a piece where you spent-- it seems like you spent a lot of time with the president writing this piece. >> we did. i was sort of surprised he spent that much time with me, actually, because, you know, the fact that i had been, you know, critical of him. you've always been critical of the president with regards to how he addresses black audiences versus he addresses a white audience about african americans. >> right. >> trevor: what was your biggest criminal, criticism of that? >> well, it was two things. i felt like the president, in one respect, you know, wanted to be, as he said, the president of all people, but in other respects, wanted to, you know, get, you know, the sort of black pass. so when it came to policy, when it came to talking about policy, it was always, "i'm the president of all people.
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i can't do anything specific or special for black people." but when it came to talking about-- we now understand, what we call respectability politics, he was saying things to black folks that probably i would have less of a problem with if he were not the president of the united states and thus the bearer of the heritage and the, you know, legacy of why black folks are in a lot of these conditions in the first place. >> trevor: you were in a unique situation where you could talk to the president about that. >> i don't know how effective i was. yeah, i was. i was, and-- it's the weirdest thing, you know what i mean? it's like, you're not going to beat the president. >> trevor: yeah. >> you're not. you still have to fight, right? you have to go in there-- what he would do is he would summon you. he would summon these reporters. he's very tricky. what he would do is-- the first time i did it, he sat me right next to him. there are assigned places where you have to sit. everybody has to sit there, and he comes in. like "say it to my face. you were all bold when you were writing." >> trevor: you can punch my
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face as well. >> the second time, i was right across from him. "what are you going to say now? you're all brave when you've got your little laptop over there." ( laughter ) but here it is. >> trevor: you know what's funny? i picture him saying this to you, "where's your laptop now? you're all brave when you have the laptop." "say it to my face." that's funny. >> right, right, right. you've got to say it. the first time i felt like i went really, really soft. i told my wife, i went so soft. and when i was going down the second time, she said, "listen, you go down there and you don't take no stuff. you don't play. you tell him exactly how you feel." she was like-- you know what i mean? and i went, and i kind of overdid it. ( laughter ). >> trevor: "i don't want your water!" >> right. i could never quite get it calibrated, you know what i mean? >> trevor: let's talk about that, because this is the gist of this article. it's you talking about barack obama trying to calibrate. it's you, ta-nehisi coates
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trying to calibrate. that seems to be the recurring theme that you hear being talked about, especially when it comes to black discourse in america. in south africa, it's the same. i know. it's a different history, but a shared history at the same time, and it's always the conversation, "how do you calibrate? how extreme should you be? how much condescension should you have?" what was the one thing you noticed being with the president for so long in terms of his calibration? the first thing i-- immediately, i felt that i understood was that he was able to address white americans in a way they just think very few african americans could. >> trevor: why was that? >> because i think barack obama was born into a home, not just to a white woman and white grandparents but a white woman and white grandparents who shockingly told him it was okay that he was black and that h
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should not, ashamed of it. and he she could proud of it. and part of the reason that was possible is the sheer physical distance of being in hawaii, and not growing up against some of the grinding pressures of, you know, jim crow. i think he-- that's a very, very unique circumstance. >> trevor: i'll parprayed, you said we watched the president-- you were talking about the last party the president threw, a black audience coming together to celebrate. and you know the feeling was one of loss but almost a fiewt loss. >> yeah. >> trevor: going, "we will never see this again. >> yeah, yeah. >> trevor: do you genuinely believe that? >> i don't know. it's harder to predict. maybe there's another path that i didn't see. this is only my assessment of how he did it. you understand? like, maybe there's some other path that i'm completely missing because i certainly didn't see this path at all. that's how he did it, and i
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don't think many african americans could have done it the same way, you know,. >> trevor: it's strange. what i picked up in the article, it's almost like you're saying it's crazy enough, white people can see the anger and then they fear that anger, so they respond differently to the person who-- >> it might not even be the anger. it's just like the fact of the matter-- like, if i have to go into downstate illinois, i don't know these people. he literally relates to these people. it's my grandparents. >> trevor: i understand what you're saying. >> the change in my walking into the kind of places he walked into >> trevor: i know i have a similar thing. sometimes people say to me, they go, why aren't you angrier at white people? why aren't you angrier at everything?" i said i can't condemn all of them because i know love from some white people. >> we don't want you to condemn them all. >> trevor: but some do. when i see a white man i see my father. a man who loved me and the black woman and people in my family. sometimes it is that relatability. when you're going through the
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story of barack obama, one thing i found interesting was how it sort of related to what you talk about in your book, many people of color can relate to it. but it's like even as a president, it feels like barack obama had to be twice as good. >> oh, he definitely did. i mean, there was no question. all of it was sort of reporting after, you know, the election, it said, well, barack obama won these voters and donald trump-- that proves there's no racism. no, no, no. if i have to jump six feet to get the same thing that you have to jump two feet for, that's how racism works. it's not global and complete you can't do it. it's really about raising-- it means you have to clear a highe standard. >> trevor: i love your writing. it's interesting to me how much pressure pressure is bestowed on people like you, "oh, the baldwin of this generation." and i go, no, you're ta-nehisi coates.
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we appreciate you. thank you so much for your time. "my president was black." "my president was black." in the january iss says it won't let up for a while. the cadillac xt5... what should we do? ...tailored to you. wait it out. equipped with apple carplay compatibility. ♪ now during season's best, get this low mileage lease on this cadillac xt5 from around $429 per month, or purchase with 0% apr financing.
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