>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much, everybody and thank you for tuning in. my guest tonight is president of planned parenthood, cecile richards is here, everybody, in the studio! ( cheers and applause ) but before we begin i have important late-breaking news to share. >> taco bell going nationwide with its newest creation a tocko shell made entirely out of fried chicken. the chain says the shell of the

naked chicken chalupa is made of white seasoned chicken, the whole thing, inside lettuce, tomatoes, cheddar cheese, avocado and ranch sauce. >> trevor: okay, america, what (bleep)? ( laughter ) first of all, why is that a news alert? it's, like, news alert! and then it's food? like they made it seem like the taco shot four people! ( laughter ) but i'm sorry, this is how you know america has got too much food. you guys are putting food in a container made out of food. even the chick-fil-a is like, yo, i wanted you to eat more chicken but not like this. not like this. ( laughter ) what's really unfair is when taco bell wraps a taco in chicken, it's genius, but when i put a chicken diaper on my nephew, all of a sudden, i'm not allowed to see him anymore. just kidding. i don't have a nephew. that was a random did i found.

( laughter ) let's move on. this has been plaguing me for a day or two. the news cycle in america moves so fast that oftentimes you don't get enough time to process everything that's happened. it's like an orangey. but i think especially over the coming years, we're going to have to get better at taking a step back to fully understand what it all means. take yesterday, for example, there was so much news! trump was holding a press conference while his nominee for secretary of state was being questioned by congress while the intelligence community was trying to decide if reports on golden showers was confirmed or not and the brand-new "game of thrones" came out, yeah, and let's just say he took inspiration from the golden shower incident, #golden wedding. really weird. so tonight, lte do this, let's take a step back and try and process one of the crazy things

that happened yesterday, which was donald trump's press conference #gold yelling. >> mr. president-elect, go ahead. >> she's asking a question, don't be rude. >> mr. president-elect, you're attacking us, can you give us a question? >> trevor: don't be rude. i am not going to give you a question. you are fake news. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i love mr. real tan over here is telling people they're fake. cnn, you're fake, you're fake. next question goes to bad boy from the nationa "national enqu" yes, you're real. yes i do think hillary adopted an alien baby, yeah, yeah. we already talked about trump's anti-media crew said yesterday but the press conference was a scary glimpse into the future of what we might be able to expect from a donald trump presidency. let's start by looking at the spectacle, which is all trump wanted ug to be looking at yesterday. trump shared the stage with what can only be described as manila

mountain. >> these are papers are just some of the many documents i've signed turning over complete and total control to my sons. >> trevor: good lord! that's a lot of paper! so much paper! ( laughter ) what is he doing there? looks like a police chief showing off a homework drug bust. as you can see, we found a lot of math, we found a lot of accounting. yeah, but jokes aside, you have to be impressed. look how much work he's been doing for america. but don't look too close because if you do you might start to notice things. for instance, the paper inside the folders doesn't look like weeks of contracts, it looks brand new. i know some of you might be hating. you're, like, trevor, you're just hating. but you tell me, if you had real folders of real business you were really doing, wouldn't you at least have labels on them?

( laughter ) ( applause ) come on, donald! like, you know what? at this point, it's not even about the lie, man! it's about the lack of respect! just take, like, two seconds to write down a fake label! it could be like conflict stuff. we don't care! and the reason this matters is that spectacle is what donald trump uses in place of actually doing something, which is surprisingly effective, because now there are people all over america going i know he left his business because i saw the papers. what kind of sick person would bring empty folders to a press conference. am i right? am i right? here's another thing we learned from the press conference. it's not something new, by the way, but it's a reminder. president trump, he's going to lie -- a lot. >> what i'm going to be doing is my two sons, who are right here,

don and eric, are going to be running the company. they are going to be running it in a very professional manner. they're not going to discuss it with me. >> trevor: they're not going to discuss it with you -- at all? for eight years? either that's a lie or donald trump -- actually, what if the only reason trump ran for president was so that he wouldn't have to talk to his sons for four years? maybe that's what he did. ( cheers and applause ) that was the entire reason! sorry, eric, can't talk. conflict of interest. but, dad! i just wanted to tell you i love you! bye, now, bye! bye! get him out of here. bye! ( cheers and applause ) and by the way, by the way, the office of government ethics has looked through donald trump's

divestment plans and like a python at a penis party, they were not impressed. >> the head of the government ethics office called the plan wholly inadequate. >> stepping back from running investments is meaningless from conflicts of business interests. this is not a blind trust. it's not even close. >> trevor: yes! thank you! thank you! thank you soon to be unemployed ethics man! thank you! thank you! by the way, i hope he ended his speech with his linkedin profile -- like, and you can hire me very soon! very soon! but he's right, trump saying his children is running his company is like a blind trust, it's like i'm a hamburger! you're not a burger! one thing that was particularly illuminating yesterday was how little regard donald j. trump

seems to have for the presidency itself. in the past, u.s. presidents have always acknowledged themselves as being accountable to the american people. it's a crucial piece of what a president should be. and accountable to all people, including the ones who didn't vote for them. but as donny always warned us, he is an outsider. >> will you release your tax returns to prove what you're saying about no deals in russia? >> well, i'm not releasing the tax returns because as you know they're under audit. >> but every president released their tax returns -- >> i never heard about. the only ones who care about my tax returns are the media. >> you don't think the public cares? >> no, i don't think they care at all. >> trevor: how great would it be if we could all use donald trump's lodge income our daily lives. get busted on the freeway for speeding, you know, and the cop would be there, do you know how

fast you're going? look at all these other people! they don't care! if they cared, they would have gotten out of the way! they don't care! ( laughter ) but you know what the sad truth is if in a way, trump's right, because the people who voted for him, they don't care, and the people who chose not to vote, they don't care. the only thing we do know right now is obamacare. obama care very much! ( cheers and applause ) obama care, man. and the 65 million people, the majority, they care. ( laughter ) but, anyway, i just hope that the press keeps caring. i'm glad they asked that question and i hope they keep asking it because without a fully functional press, the only one who's going to be blind in this whole situation is us. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )

♪ you never believed in fairytales. knights in shining armor or happily ever after. but you believed when the right one came along, you'd be ready. time to shine. orbit. almost as long as it took me to master this look.er. ♪ still practicing. it takes 15 years to become a heineken brewmaster.

there's more behind the star. if there was any way to make the $10 any pizza carryout deal from pizza hut any easier or any better we'd do it. but any way we slice it, you're free to choose any large pizza with any toppings, or any recipe- -like supreme or meat lover's on original pan crust. the $10 any pizza - no one outpizzas the hut. have you any wool?eep, no sir, no sir, some nincompoop stole all my wool sweaters, smart tv and gaming system. luckily, the geico insurance agency recently helped baa baa with renters insurance. everything stolen was replaced. and the hooligan who lives down the lane was caught selling the stolen goods online. visit geico.com and see how easy it is to switch and save on renters insurance. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! now, in just a couple of weeks, donald trump is going to be running the country. well, he's going to be the president, i should say, because he's going to let other people do the actual running of the

country because you know trump is going to delegate (bleep) out of his job, he told us. today one cabinet nominee who faced special concerns about his qualifications was dr. ben carson, nominated to be secretary of housing and urban development, some think this is an odd fit for a surgeon with no government experience, something dr. carson acknowledged right off the bat. you say that all sounds great and wonderful but you were a pediatric neurosurgeon, how could you have anything wonderful to say about any of these things? there is an assumption you can only do one thing and that we have these very limited brains and they're incapable of learning anything else. i find that kind of humorous, particularly knowing what the human brain is capable of. billions of neurons, hundreds of billions of interconnections can process more than 2 billion bits

of information in one second, any brain can do that. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i'm sorry, guys. you can't beat ben carson in an argument because he knows the brain. and every argument, he can bring back to the brain. you will say, dr. carson, i have a different idea. then he'll be, like, but -- ( laughter ) -- but where -- but the question is where did the idea come from? the brain. and as you can see, the brain is something that has billions of neurons and -- ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) that's ben carson's go-to for anything. he does that for anything live. on the phone with time warner -- knowing what i know about the observe due laoblongata -- all

right, we'll give you free cinemax! just stop it! ( laughter ) but having a brain and knowing how it works, what makes ben carson think he can lead an agency he doesn't know anything about? >> one of the things i flernd my private life as a board member at kellogg for 18 years and costco for 16 years is how to select a good c.e.o. a good c.e.o. doesn't necessarily know everything about the business. he's not a marketing specialist, may not be a financial specialist, there may not be many things he knows but he knows how to pick those people and how to use them and that is one to have the marks of good leadership. >> trevor: whoa, whoa, whoa, dr. carson. i'm confused, i thought donald trump was the hands-off c.e.o., but you're now also the hands-off c.e.o. is this think about it, donald trump said he doesn't know how to do the job but he'll make sure he'll hire

the best. now dr. carson says that he doesn't know the job but he'll make sure to hire the best. how far down does this (bleep) go? who actually knows how to do the job if ( cheers and applause ) is someone in the white house going to be, like, well we've got this intern, super qualified. who? hillary clinton. she can just do the whole thing, actually. she can do the whole thing. ( laughter ) but the senate confirmation committee, they had a few interesting follow-up questions for ben carson. >> my concern is whether or not, among the billions of dollars that you will be responsible for handing out in grants and loans, can you just assure us that not one dollar will go to benefit either the president-elect or his family? >> it will not be my intention to do anything to benefit any

american. ( laughter ) >> trevor: no! no! i feel like you overcorrected there, ben! overcorrection! no, no no. no no no no. i'm being unfair. ( laughter ) wait, i'm being unfair. i'm being unfair. it's funny, but this is the full quote. >> it will not be my intention to do anything to benefit any -- any american. >> i understand that. >> it's for all americans, everything that we do. >> trevor: you see, like the thing is ben carson speaks so slow that, like, every sentence is an emotional rollercoaster. i wouldn't want to have him as my doctor. it's just like, excuse me, ma'am -- your children -- dyed -- ( gasp ) -- their hair -- before they

were killed -- in a car -- ( laughter ) to! why are you doing this? i know trump is going to destroy i know trump is going to destroy the world but

emerge restored. fortified. i know trump is going to destroy the world but replenished. emerge everyday with emergen-c packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. why not feel this good everyday? emerge and see. i believe in me too. ♪ i am the unicorn of your confidence ♪ the harder the climb, the better the reward. coors light. whatever your mountain, climb on. if there was any way to make the $10 any pizza carryout deal from pizza hut any easier or any better we'd do it. but any way we slice it, you're free to choose any large pizza with any toppings, or any recipe- -like supreme or meat lover's on original pan crust. the $10 any pizza - no one outpizzas the hut.

i'ts your tv, take it with you. with directv and at&t, stream live tv anywhere data-free. join directv today starting at $35/month. no extra monthly fees. ♪

( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back. my guest tonight is the president of planned parenthood federation of america. please welcome cecile richards! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ welcome to the show. >> good to be here. >> trevor: you have a lot of fans in the audience. ( cheers and applause )

and i feel like you need fans. >> we'll take every one we can get. >> trevor: in these dark times. let's get straight into it. it feels like you cannot turn on the news these cases special after the trump victory without seeing another story of about how paul ryan and the republicans are planning to defund planned parenthood. in fact, i hear that phrase so much it sounds like defund planned parenthood is the new name of the organization. >> not a bit. >> trevor: we're going to defund planned parenthood. >> no. >> trevor: are you tired? >> no, not a bit. in fact, i'm energized. it has been an outpouring support of planned parenthood ever since paul ryan said that. in fact, i think you can't even get a phone call into speaker ryan's office anymore because of so many folks calling concerned. we had a 900% increase of women in the first couple of days of women trying to get an i.u.d. because they were worried about losing their access to healthcare. >> trevor: planned parenthood provides so many other more

services than just abortions. is this something that doesn't get through or is there a way to create a better separation or is it a conversation at the cannot really be negotiated? >> well, we're really proud that planned parenthood provided women all their reproductive care and we always will. i think what's really important to understand is during the last eight years with president obama who is a huge supporter of women's health and healthcare access and we actually got birth control coverage for 55 million women in this country at no co-pay including probably some folks here in this audience. ( cheers and applause ) i actually -- you know, it's interesting, we're at a 30-year low for unintended pregnancy in america. we're at an historic low for teenage pregnancy in america and that's largely because women have better access to family planning. people think planned parenthood is actually the solution not the

problem. ( cheers and applause ) thank you for that. i do think it's a matter of folks in washington understanding that women's need for healthcare is not a partisan issue. that's what women are so perplexed about is why are people playing politics with women's health care in america? the women who come to planned parenthood are republicans, democrats, independents, because they're not coming to make a political statement, they're coming because they need high quality affordable health care and that's what we provide. >> trevor: when the republicans say it's not about denying women health care, it's about getting the money to places where we feel it would be better suited, so they say it will go to community health care centers. you know, that still means there are many women who won't have access to any form of health care at all. >> absolutely. in fact, the community health centers have said we can't see all these patients that planned parenthood sees. the congressional budget office has said this is going to cost the taxpayers $130 million at a

minimum if you end women's ability to go to planned parenthood. >> trevor: is that just in the defunding? >> yeah. >> trevor: it will actually cost money to put it all together. >> to replace it. >> trevor: yes. >> and another thing that's an important part of all this is it's not only congress saying they're going to end women's ability to go to planned parenthood, not just women, we have a lot of men and young people who come to us, last night in the dead of night when we were all asleep the united states senate starts ramming through a repeal to have the affordable care act -- repeal of the affordable care act which means 20 million people lose healthcare coverage and people 26 and younger can no longer stay on their parents health insurance plan, means people with pre-existing conditions can't get health insurance anymore, and kirsten gillibrand, the great senator from the state of new york had the senate vote last night on protecting women's

health care access and the republican leadership defeated that as well. so it's important towns it's not only they want to end access to planned parenthood, they want to end access to care for a lot of folks in this country and i believe it's going to cause a health care crisis. we saw it in texas and other states. so every person who's watching, if you have been a planned parenthood patient or care about access to health care, you need to call your member of congress, senator, and call the trump administration. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: i appreciate your time. i thank you for being here and so do many people in the audience. thank you so much for coming. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: we'll be right back. thank you so much! ( cheers and applause ) (vo) the holidays may be over

but if you hurry, you can still get the best deals on the best network. like verizon's best smartphones for only $10 per month. like the samsung galaxy s7. the pixel, phone by google. or the motoz droid. for only $10 per month. plus, hurry in and switch to verizon now and get up to $650 to cover your costs. there's still time to get amazing deals at verizon.

the harder the climb, the better the reward. coors light. whatever your mountain, climb on. um, i can't have happen what happened (♪)t time... ahem... here's my card. i'm sure you know your profits are down 8%. so, just let me know if you want to change that. ♪ i believe in you! break through!, break through!

>> trevor: that's our show tore tonight. stay tuned for "@midnight" coming up next! now here it is... your moment of zen. >> if i could hear lindsey graham say make america great again yesterday with a smile on his face anything is possible. >> don't apologize to ted for saying he should be

>> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight. it is throwback and casual thursday. and this is right before throwback thursday becomes flashback fry so go post thoseu ggo teen photos stat.o3 the internet moves so fast and we do our best to keep up with it but that is before biden memes and crying jord an memes and memes period, probably before were you born. you millenial assholes how dare you be younger, how dare you have youth, how dare you! and also a lot of you are most of our audience so thank you for watching. (laughter) well, let old grandpa gen x tell you about the internet. at one time it moved at aye sluggish 14.4k. tonight we want to-- i know, how did we s