- yeah! - [bleep] new jersey! [screaming] [gunfire] [groaning] - keep shooting! we're sick of you, jersey! [bleep] off! [boys screaming] - aah! aah! get it off of me! - snooki want smush smush! - get it off of me! - we got to find a way past it! - what does it want? - sounds like it wants smush smush! - smush smush! snooki want smush smush! - no! you guys, it's raping me! it's raping me! - jesus christ! what the hell do we do? - oh, god! [groans] get out of here! - why? - aah! agghh! [moaning] no!

[groaning] [screams] aaaaahhh! aaah! aaaah! [wailing] [groans] - dude. - get outta here, you piece a gahbage! you wanna smush? go creepin' somewheres else! - snooki get the smush in the-- - you're gahbage! you know that? you're cabbage! - bah bah bah bah bah bah bah! snooki bah bah bah! - you got cabbage in ya muff! - [gibberish] - you got cabbage in your [bleep] muff! - [gibberish] [punch] [whimpering] [glass shatters] - [sniffling] thank you, kyle. [gunshot] - that's the last of it! we're out of ammo! - then we've got to start falling back to utah! - what's the point? can't you see it's over? [airplane engines roaring]

- who is that? - it's al-qaeda! [cheering] [rockets screeching] [explosion] [explosion] - give 'em hell, al-qaeda! [cheering] - on a cold october night, a small town in colorado stood up to new jersey and finally said, "go away." our fortitude was the inspiration for others, and now new jersey is slowly receding back to the desolate land from whence it came. our country is getting back to normal. and we owe it all to osama bin laden. [cheers and applause] [kisses] - well, kyle, looks like you're totally back to normal. - yeah, the more distance between me and the others from jersey, the better i feel.

- yeah, but you still have it in you. you saved my life, kyle. deep down inside, you're a monster, but you're my little monster. - i just have one question, kyle. at sizzler, when you were yelling, "muff cabbage," what's muff cabbage? - it's a-- it's a jersey thing. - on this day, let us all remember that no people on this earth are really enemies-- only folks with differences. [gunshot] - tango is down. tango is down. - we got him! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com comedy central news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah. thank you so much, everyone. thank you to you for tuning in. i am so excited, my guest tonight is a u.s. ambassador to

the united nations, samantha power is joining us, everybody. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: samantha power in the house, well, powerful now until friday then it will be samantha out of power. but that's another thing. but let's begin tonight with a major protest if spain. >> during the unveiling of a donald trump statue at wexford museum in madrid a bare-breasted activist from the feminist group femen protest. the slogan in english suggested patriarchy should be grabbed by the again i tales. >> grab by the balls. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: there are times when i don't know if i'm happy or sad about a trump presidency. cuz this is one of those where you are like more protests but now they're topless? seems like a weird thing, you know. it's like a boob protest. and by the way, by the way, i just want to say kudos to whoever it was that made that

statue. because it's superrealistic. look at it. yeah, it doesn't look human at all, which is just like trump. (applause) it's just like trump. if you think about it, donald trump is the first famous person to have a wax figure that looks more real than him. i bet trump's foundation has already purchased that statue and is he will sneak it into the white house and then go on vacation for four years, just leave it there. and it will do a better job. but you know what, my favorite part of this protest was for me, the poor guy from the wax museum trying to cover that woman up. look at him, he tries to put a shirt on her t doesn't work, he tries balloons. it is like, i don't know what to do. i don't know what to do. (laughter) with the balloons, cover the balloons. [bleep] how perfect is that, by the way. i bet first he tried to block her with, tried with balloons, it didn't work. then let's try these canteloupes, no, that doesn't work. oh, two jugs of milk. no! another topless woman, ah.

something has to work. honestly, though, this was a really effective protest it. you know, i'm impressed. because this woman, this protester wrote her message on her boobs. and that's really the only way to get donald trump to read anything. (laughter) the cia should start writing his intelligence briefings on boobs. i promise you now he will want to see that every day. and he will know right away when they come into his office with really big news, he will be likeu oh, double ds, what is going on in the middle east. something's wrong. something's wrong. (applause) let's move on. let's move on. over the past few weeks the senate has been holding hearings on trump's cabinet nominees. the hearings have raised important questions about each of them. for instance, his is rex tillerson too loyal to oil. jeff sessions, is he down with the brown. and will ben carson be good for

the hood? see cuz hood,-- but of all trump's picks none seem to be less prepared than the one we saw yesterday. which brings us to our continuing segment, profiles in tremendousness. >> have i the most dedicated people. i have the best people. >> trevor: meet betsy devos, trump's nominee for secretary of education. she's a billionaire business woman from michigan. she's a major voice for conservative education reform. and a lot of people don't know this, she is the cofounder of the '90s r&b group bell you have devos. they had to kick her out because that girl was poison. but her illustrious history aside, the big question is, is betsy devos qualified to lead the education department. well, yesterday the senate sat her down to test her on her knowledge of education stuff. and right away, you knew there was going to be a problem when she couldn't answer a simple yes or no question. >> do you think that schools

that receive k-12 schools that receive government funding should meet the same accountability standards, equal accountability in any k-12 school or educational program that receives federal funding, whether public, public charter or private. >> i support account ability. >> equal accountability for all schools that receive federal funding. >> i support account ability. >> okay s that a yes or a no. >> i support accountability. >> do you not want to answer my question. >> i support account ability. >> trevor: aaahhhhhh slm aahh! aahh! sorry, sorry. aahh! i'm sorry. i just, when i watch that, i had a flashback to every single time i called tech support. you know, saying the same thing. aahh. accountability. aahh! i'm surprised tim kaine didn't start screaming, operator, operator, i just want to talk to a human. now the reason betsy is ducking that question is because she

wants to take taxpayer money from public schools and send it to private schools without holding the private schools to the same standard. which means the taxpayer could be paying for schools with less qualified teachers, crappier curric la, weaker testing and worse chicken nuggets in the cafeteria. yeah, you know that brand where every once in a while, the crunch, i don't know, there why there say crunchy thing in a nugget, you know those. one of betsy devos' main jobs would be to improve student performance. now some say you should measure that by what students know as in proficiency. others say you should measure it by how much students improve. growth. betsy devos, she says what? >> i would like your views on the relative advantage of measuring-- doing assessments and using them to measure proficiency or to measure growth. >> if i am understanding your question correctly, around proficiency, i would also corelate it to competent tensee

and mastery so that you-- each student is measured according to the advancement that they are making in each subject area. >> well, that's growth. that's not proficiency. >> proficiency, is if they have reached a like third grade level for reading, et cetera. >> no, i'm talking about the debate between proficiency and growth. i was kind of surprised, well, i'm not that surprised, that you did not know this issue. (laughter) (applause). >> trevor: dang. i would like to enter that shade into the record. yeah, immediately after he said that, all the other senators were like-- so okay, okay, okay. so betsy did not do well on the verbal part of franken's questioning. how did she do on the math? >> you said that student debt

has increased by a thousand percent. >> 980 percent in eight years. >> i'm sorry? >> 980 percent. >> that's-- that's just not so. it's increased 118% in the past eight years. >> hmm. >> trevor: damn, can i ask the question, why don't they ever fight back in these hearings. she should have just been like oh yeah, i forgot to carry the one. she should do that. i mean-- another question i have, how do you put this person in charge of america's education. it's like hiring an amish person to run nasa. all right. let's strap some of the horses to the space shutter el. and take it to heaven. (laughter) i don't even know if that was a good or bad amish accent. i mean it's not like they are going to watch the show and complain, so i mean. i don't know. did you see what trevor noah said. me neither.

so-- (applause) so one of the hearings most revealing moments was when senator chris murphy who represents newtown, connecticut, the site of the sandy hook shooting. he asked devos about guns in schools. >> you can't say definitively today that guns shouldn't be in schooled? >> well, i will refer back to senator enzi and the school that he was talking about in wyoming. i think probably there, i would imagine that there is probably a gun in the school to protect from potential grizzlies. >> trevor: get the [bleep] out of here, man. should schools have guns? and you say yeah, they should have guns because maybe grizzly bears? (laughter) let me tell you something, and this is true. we called the school in way i would she is talking about. and a bear answered the phone. no, we called the school, we called the school. and they told us that they don't have a gun. because they have a fence, and bear spray. and that works fine.

like here is another question. like you are trying to justify having guns in schools. what do you think there are more of in america, school shootings or school bear attacks, huh? in fact, i would argue every school should have a bear to protect them from guns. that is what they should have. grr, grrr, grr. (applause) so after a day of hearings we learned betsy devos clearly has no clue about how to run the education department. so the question is, why is she being nominated in the first place. >> mrs. devos, there is a growing feel, i think in this country, that we are moving towards what some would call an oligarchic form of society. would you be so kind as to tell us how much money your family has contributed to the republican party over the years. >> i wish i could give you that number. i don't know. >> i have heard the number was 200 million. does that sound in the ball park? >> collectively, between my entire family. >> over the years. >> that's possible. >> do you think if your family

has not made hundreds of millions of dollars in contributions to the republican party, that you would be sitting here today. >> bernie! bernie, we miss you, bernie! why didn't we listen, bernie! oh, bernie! he's right. she's going to get confirmed even though she failed everything, every subject she got on the hearing, failed, failed, failed, failed. except donations 1016789 and that's why i feel like this hearing was a perfect metaphor for the worst of the education system in america. here are the student who is clearly not proficient in the required subject matter. but because of the system, we know they are still going to get pushed through. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. (applause)

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plus 40,000 on demand tv shows and movies, all on the go. you can even download from your x1 dvr and watch it offline. only xfinity gives you more to stream to any screen. download the xfinity tv app today. >> trevor: oh, welcome back to the daily show. you know when you start a new job, most people try and ingrate yait themselves o the folks they will be working with. but donald trump is not most people. >> donald trump will take office as the least popular president in recent history. >> a historically low approval rating. the new poll finds just 40% of americans approve of trump's handling of the transition. that's lower than any incoming president in decades. >> that trump 40% is also lower than the post katrina approval

rating of president george w. bush. >> trevor: wow. trump is less popular than post katrina george w. bush. that is-- in fact, those same katrina families have moved on to bashing trump now. that's what they're doing. now most people being told that they are not popular would make them try harder. but like i said, donald trump is not most people. >> trump is taking issue with the findings saying on twitter, the same people without did the phoney election polls and were so wrong are now doing approval rating polls. they are rigged just like before. >> trevor: okay, first of all t is not the same polls and you can't just say everything is rigged because you don't like it trump is just, rigged for everything. how much is that, $24. rigged, it's all rigged. it's all rigged. it's phoney, it's false. he just don't like it. for more on this we're turning now to michelle wolf, everybody. michelle, michelle, i, before we get into everything, i mean it's

two days until president trump. how are you feeling i feel great. how are you? >> trevor: i mean to be honest i'm surprised that you feel great. >> we should all feel great. i mean if there's one thing that is keeping me going is that as much as we hate the idea of trump as president, it's nothing compared to how much he is going to hate being president. (laughter) he has no idea what is coming. it's like i'm walking to a carwash without a car. being president is hard work. you never get a day off. and the irony is after all of this, trump's reward is a library. a library. the guy who never reads! what is he going to do with a library. that's like give be stefen hawking a bicycle. i know, it's a terrible gift.

i mean honestly, i kind of feel bad for trump. i mean everything that happens from now on is his false. >> trevor: michelle, that's not fair. not everything that happens will be his fault. >> no, everything. if the market goes down, trump's fault. if oil prices go up, trump's fault. if justin doesn't call me back even though he said we had a real connection, i gave him a handy in the back of. >> whoa dzz t whroa, whoa, that's trump's fault. >> that is justin's fault but he voted for trump. >> michelle, do you really think trump is is going to be upset. he won. >> trump never wanted the job of president. he just wanted to be mr. u.s.a., put on a sash and tell people how you change the world without actually having to change it. but inside trump has gone from being a carefree billionaire to a public servant. yeah, donald j. trump. you just became america's

butler. now go fix our health care. make me a sandwich you sun burnt bitch. >> trevor: thank you, michelle, michelle wolf, everyone. we'll be right bac for me, it all began with a boy. his name was ethan. bailey, bailey, bailey, bailey. my name was bailey, bailey, bailey, bailey. we spent every day together. the dog's laughing at you. dog's don't laugh. that's funny. but my time was coming to an end. good boy bailey, gonna miss you. and then it happened. i was back. again and again. witness the incredible journey... good boy. that will make you believe... go bailey! in second chances. rated pg.

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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is a u.s. ambassador to the united nations. please welcome samantha power. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the show, ambassador. >> not the reception i get at the united nations every day. thanks for that. >> trevor: i understand this is your final interview as ambassador to the u.n. >> so it seems. >> trevor: so are you just going to tell us everything, just like, you know, for real for real? cuz what can happen? you're leaving anyway. >> true. >> trevor: just spill the beans on the u.n. let's get floo it.

it is a-- it is a trying time for america and you know, for administrations changing over. but let's take a step back and just talk about what your role at the u.n. is. it seems self-explanatory but what are you doing as an ambassador to the u.n. >> well, in representing the united states, i am sitting behind the practice card that says the united states of america and we're the biggest financial contributor. we are the leader. if we don't lead, bad guys benefit. >> trevor: uh-huh. >> other big countries that do bad things step into the void. so we use it to mobilize coalitions, to burden-share. the rest stled world pays 78% of the budget, even as we pay a large share. but we look out for u.s. interests and the welfare of the american people but recognize that that is very tied to collective security and to the welfare of people around the world. >> trevor: now you work at the u.n. which is an organization that i feel like, you know, when traveling the world, is one that is lauded in many places. strangely enough i find that in

america not many people think of the u.n. as an organization that is still capable of doing anything. it seems like it's all, you know, parade as opposed to actually having an effect. it is symbol eck but it doesn't seem like it has power. is that true? >> no. i mean it's laws, it says that it is 193 countries, more than half of them are not democratic. so you are arguing on behalf of democracy and human rights with countries that don't practice it within their own borders. you are arguing for lgbt rights with people who criminalize being gay in their own countries. it's hard. but when it comes to the kinds of threats that we face today, terrorists who cross borders, whose financing moves through the smuggling networks, climate change where no one country can deal with the problem, but small island countries are disappearing underwater and we are all experiencing extreme weather. sanctions against iran when they are pursuing a nuclear weapon so that we can then bring them to the table, so as to take aware that i nuclear weapons program.

none of that can be done if you don't have a global organization where we can bring all countries to the table. so you could do away with the u.n. tomorrow and you build it the day after. because you have to have a global organization. you have to have rules in the world or that is going to hurt the american people and people everywhere. >> trevor: it must be a little bit strange. maybe i'm wrong but being in a position where you-- you are still the ambassador to the u.n. and you have been all through the transition since the election. donald trump has gone against most of the policy that you said like climate change, working together, building coalitions, are people like looking at you trying to ask you questions like what's up with that guy, do you know? >> i will take that. >> trevor: i understand, are you an bams do ambassador. >> talk to me friday. >> trevor: i will do that we will have the followup to. this we'll have the followup. let's talk a little bit about

your address that you gave. two addresses that have been about leaving. and i think they both have really interesting points that you brought up. one which you gave addressed the fact that you felt that u.n. council didn't do enough to deal with what happened in syria. when you said that, though, what does that mean. because some people go what could have been done. >> well, russia is a permanent member of the security council, a privilege afforded to only five of us 71 years ago. after the second world war. and russia used its veto time and again when ever we proposed putting pressure on the assad regime which was gassing its people, bombing its peoplek systemically torturing its people. had we been able to forge unity with russia, had there been more, even if they wanted to bash the regime but are much more critical relationship where they were really pressing from behind the scenes to get the regime to stop the tactics that it used which only