♪ that's not a word ♪ ♪ boo, boo, boo, yo - here, we can put the ritalin antidote in these drinks and hand them out to the children. - ♪ oh, boo boo boo-dio [calm clapping] - wasn't that great, son? - it sure was, dad. - it's so wonderful to be on the same wavelength as our kids. - here you go, stan and kyle. free drinks on me. - oh, thank you, chef. how nice. - and now i'd like to sing the complex and amazing song that won me the oscar. a song entitled you'll be in me. thanks. ♪ you'll be inside of me ♪ ♪ deep inside of me ♪ so deep inside, i can feel you pushing against my heart ♪ - come on, drink it down. it's free. - ♪ you'll be inside of me ♪ - rawr! - oh, no! get off me! get off me! somebody, help! please, get it off of me!

- i feel... different. - yeah. - get off me, christina aguilera. - drink this, eric. - god, help me. she's gone. thank god. - ♪ well, thanks - wait a minute. phil collins sucks ass! - yeah, what the hell were we thinking? boo! - i think it's working. [all booing] - shut your filthy holes, you little bastards! - get off the stage, phil collins! we want timmy! all: yeah. - you just want to laugh at him. - no, you see, we learned something today. yeah, sure, we laughed at timmy, but what's wrong with laughter? just because we laugh at something doesn't mean we don't care about it. timmy made us smile and playing made timmy smile, so where is the harm in that? the people that are wrong are the ones that think people like timmy should be protected and kept out of the public's eye. the cool thing about timmy being in a band was that he was in your face, and you had to deal with him, whether you laughed or cried or felt nothing. that's why timmy rules. - yeah. timmy, timmy! [all chanting] timmy! timmy! timmy!

- man, it sucks not being part of lollapalabala. - yeah. - hey, dudes. - skylar, what are you doing here? isn't reach for the skylar supposed to play soon? - they booed phil collins off the stage. everyone is chanting for timmy and the lords of the underworld. - oh, so now that they want us you think you can just waltz back into our lives and be in the band again? - i don't expect anything. timmy, i just wanted to say we had some pretty rocking times, dude. and maybe i let fame and phil collins go to my head. - timmy! [distant chanting] timmy! timmy! timmy! - wow, they really are chanting for us. - they want us back. - what do you say, timmy? - timmy. both: all right! - ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, it is my pleasure to introduce the reunion tour of timmy. [cheers and applause] - timmy and the lords of the underworld. [heavy metal music] ♪ timmy! ♪ ♪ timmy! yimmy-yah! ♪

♪ ♪ ah, timmy ♪ ♪ timmy, timmy ♪ timmy, timmy, timmy - ♪ and the lords of the underworld ♪ - put me down, you filthy bastards! [screaming] - ♪ timmy! li-mi-loo-wow ♪ ♪ ♪ da-da-da-da timmy ♪ ♪ tim, timmy, timmy ♪ >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪

>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! thank you to you for tuning in! i could not be more ecstatic. my guest tonight from the new mini-series about nelson mandela, "madiba," lawrence fishburne is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) let's begin the show with news from across the pond. >> the british supreme court ruling that the u.k. cannot leave the european union without first getting a vote from parliament. >> this is a big deal. as most calls into question whether brexit will happen. >> if questions throws the united kingdom's exit from the e.u. into some chaos. >> trevor: hold up. there's a chance the u.k. may not have to leave the e.u.? no. i'm sorry. you do not get out of brexit. you do not, no. because brexit inspired

everybody else to screw up their own countries! people running around burning down (bleep) chanting brexit brexit brexit! america elected mr. brexit! now you will try to breezle out of it? no! britain's, like, oh, we didn't realize we had a backdoor. no, redidn't realize -- america's like, you mean -- no, we don't. you said we were getting face tattoos. no, i thought it was permanent but it's not. i've got a dick on my face! looks really nice! no! you brexit, britain! get out! we suffer together. ( laughter ) we are suffering. because, you know, it's been almost a week, a whole week since donald trump became president -- ( audience booing )

-- yeah, but it feels like a lot longer. in trump's presidency, one day is like a year. i mean, this was me last friday. look how innocent i was. look at me, look how i've aged! it's hard to believe that in less than seven days we've had an inauguration packed with empty space, worldwide protests that made it acceptable to say (bleep) in any country. ( cheers and applause ) confirmations, executive orders, sean spicer lying about how he said he would never lie and kellyanne conway came in and said the week didn't happen because there are no weeks only alternative days. ( laughter ) now, outside of a couple of formal speeches, you realize we haven't had a chance to see president trump himself on the job. but yesterday, he gave the first television interview from his new home office at the white house, or as he calls it the

mar-a-lago of the north. ( laughter ) but think about it, we've only ever known trump the candidate. but yesterday we got introduced to trump the president. who we learned is a man who from the get-go is determined to create his own reality, starting with how he gets the news. >> you took some heat after your visit to the c.i.a. in front of that hall load wall, 117 stars of those lost at the c.i.a. >> that speech was a home run. that speech, if you look at fox, okay -- i'll mention, see what fox said, they said it was one to have the great speeches. there was love in the room. you and other networks covered it very inaccurately. i hate to say this to you and you probably won't put it on, but turn on fox and see how it was covered. >> trevor: i love how he says "fox." you see that there? if the news is critical of donald trump, it's fake news. only praise is real news.

that's insane. all he does is watch fox. he doesn't want to read or have briefings. trump watches fox to get his news! you realize the reason we need the news is because we don't have what the president has which is all the information! and then trump is turning on the news going, i wonder what i do today. i wonder what happens. you are the news! can you imagine how this must look to the f.b.i. where they come in and he goes, guys you know about the shootings in chicago? they're, like, yeah, we wrote about it in the report every day! you know what the c.i.a. and f.b.i. should do, they should stop -- they should start making videos for him. he's like little child. they should make a production for him. it's c.i.a. news! today the great donald trump needs to know how to fight i.s.i.s.! donald trump will be like, yay! that's me!

i'm on the news! i.s.i.s. bad! donald trump good! yay! ( applause ) it's his own reality! he only accepts that news. so we learned brump only acknowledges the media that praises him and also only acknowledges the citizens who voted for him. >> many of these people were the forgotten men and women, and they loved what we had to say. part of my whole victory was that the men and women of this country who have been forgotten will never be forgotten again. the forgotten men and women. they're not forgotten anybody more because they came out and voted. >> trevor: i keep a little note on my fridge. it says don't forget to never forget the men and women we forget, we never forget that way i never forget what i just forgot about. ( applause ) what does that mean?

here's another way president trump only works within his own reality, it has to do with his executive order to block immigration from a number of muslim countries. >> the countries that have tremendous terror, and it's countries that people are going to come in and cause us tremendous problems. >> let me ask you about some of this countries that won't be on the list -- afghanistan, pakistan, saudi arabia -- >> i don't want terror in this country. you look at what happened in san bernardino, all over, you look what happened in the world trade strks i mean take that as an example -- >> trevor: okay, let's take that as an example. these are the countries trump will ban people from. in the san bernardino shooting, one of the terrorists was a u.s.-born citizen. the other person was from pakistan, a country not on trump's list. or let's look at 9/11, all the hijackers came from these four countries, none of them on trump's list. what he's doing doesn't solve his problem. it's like if you got pregnant

and then afterwards you said, this is never happening again! from now on, i'm only wearing condoms on all my hands! yeah! yeah! problem solved! ( applause ) here's the most disconcerting part of the interview for me. it's not just how donald trump perceives reality. it's the fact that, as president, he's now powerful enough to shape it. >> 3 approximately to 5 million illegal -- 3 to 5 million illegal votes, that would be the biggest voter fraud in history. >> you look at the dead people registered to vote and the people registered to vote in two states. >> when you say millions of illegal votes that is extremely fundamental to our democracy, a fair election, you say you're going to launch an investigation into this. >> sure, sure. it's done.

>> trevor: (whispering) i see dead people. ( applause ) you understand because donald trump truly believes he should have won the popular vote, the federal government will spend a ton of money and time investigating nonexistent voter fraud which is not going to find the two extra voters from voting. it's just going to restrict more americans from votel. by the way, dead people using their power to vote, that's the weirdest walking dead episode ever. that is strange. ( applause ) it's another reality. so here we are, one week into trump's presidency, and the realization is beginning to dawn -- the difference between candidate trump and president trump is now that we have to live in his crazy reality, and that fact hit me

when trump said this -- >> david, david -- i mean, i know you're a sophisticated guy. the world is a mess. the world is as angry as it gets. what, you think this is going to cause a little more anger? the world is an angry place. >> trevor: jesus, dude -- if he's going to talk like that, i feel like he needs a different style of makeup. >> david, david -- i mean, i know you're a sophisticated guy. the world is a mess. the world is as angry as it gets. what, you think this is going to cause a little more anger? the world is an angry place. ( laughter ) >> trevor: we're all his hostage. he's taken over our world. oh, and one more thing -- that was better than jared letto. we'll be right back.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." so much has happened in the first week of donald trump's presidency you may have gotten whiplash. luckily you still have obamacare for that for now.

now with so many heavy stories filling up the week, i hope you left room for some dessert. >> want to look at video here from we believe the third inaugural ball. let's take a look here where just a few moments ago here, in the past ten minutes, you see president trump cutting the cake with first lady melania. >> trevor: it's not really trump cutting the cake because i know trump didn't even wait till day two to have mike pence do all the work for him. though they would make such a cute gay couple. if you take out the wives they look like a happy couple celebrating. ah! looks like they were rushing to tie the knot before the new administration takes away their rights! ( laughter ) but let's focus on the cake that trump had. i personally thought that was a very nice looking cake. kind of how i also think the few spiderman remake looks pretty good -- and i know i'll probably

like it because i loved the original. >> president trump's inauguration celebration didn't come without a little bit of controversy. the cake he and vice president cut is an exact replica of the cake made for president obama during the 2013 inauguration. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i'm sorry, guys. this guy just copies everything about the obamas. they cop idea obama's cake and speech. the only thing trump couldn't copy is obama's approval ratings. ( cheering ) anyway, this is just me sharing with you how crazy a day at a comedy show can be. we get people calling "the daily show" all the time with the most random requests and ideas and offers. you know, people always tell us things, they will be like, hey, "the daily show," we have a lead

on this. we're, like, we're not journalists. they're, like, still, you should investigate. people offer us to help catch trump. someone is, i have the real tax returns. meet me in time square. i'm not meeting you. someone's i have things from the russians -- no, we don't want that. and then somebody called after the inauguration, hey, i can give you donald trump's cake. yeah, give us the cake, whatever, we don't care. then we came to work yesterday and donald trump's cake was here at the building. someone had brought it. i didn't believe that it was real. bring in the cake. i didn't believe -- ( cheers and applause ) -- i didn't believe -- this is what was delivered. at first i was, like, this is not the real cake.

but we looked at the pictures and this is the exact same cake. some fellow said we don't want you to touch it. it's not a cake. it's styrofoam except the piece donald trump cut into. that was the only real piece of cake in the cake. which for me was, like, isn't this the perfect metaphor for donald trump's presidency? ( applause ) well, because think about it. think about it. he says there is a cake. you see the cake. the cake looks just as good as obama's cake. i'm going to replace obama's cake with something much better! then trump even goes, look! the cake! he has cake. then, no cake for you. then we realize this is all styrofoam, just like trump's administration, this thing is terrible for the environment! that's what this thing is! ( cheers and applause )

i mean, obviously we can't eat it, and we can't nominate it for secretary of education, even though it's way more qualified than betsy devos. why don't you guys tell us what we should do with the cake? don't be violent. we're not going to smash it or hire russians to pee on it. tweet us with your ideas, #trump cake, and today we will make america cake again. ( applause ) glanchts if you could see your cough, it's just a cough. sfx: woman coughing you'd see how often you cough all day. and so would everyone else. robitussin 12 hour delivers fast, powerful cough relief

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an acclaimed actor starring as nelson mandela in the bet series "madiba." >> you all get solitaire for this! all of you! you all lose your privileges for a year! no letters! no visitors! you will all have your sentences increased! >> it would be very difficult for you to increase my life sentence, sergeant. and his. and his. and his. >> sergeant, we will no longer

run to the quarry, but we will walk. >> trevor: please welcome lawrence fishburne. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome! >> thank you, thank you. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: lawrence fishburne! wow! okay. okay. if ever there was a time for you to tell us this is not the real world -- ( laughter ) -- we're ready! give us the red pill and get us the (bleep) out of here! ( laughter ) we're ready! ( applause ) welcome to the show. >> thank you so much, trevor. >> trevor: i have been a huge fan of yours as long as i can remember. >> and i have been a huge fan of yours since you appeared, sir. >> trevor: thank you so much.

>> yes. >> trevor: i like that, since i appeared. >> yes. >> trevor: you are doing and have been doing so much. before we talk about the film, i wanted to congratulate you on "blackish." the show has been amazing. >> thank you. >> trevor: everybody is loving it, the cast has been doing a great job. everyone has their ideas on why the show is successful. >> sure. >> trevor: why do you think "blackish" connects with the audience and with everyone? >> because it is based in a certain recal reality. it's the reality black americans have been living with for better than 50 years. we have been having these conversations amongst ourselves privately at home for 50 years at least, and the last 30 years, i think african-american culture has been so much -- so much of it has been embraced into the larger culture that everybody sort of -- it's part of the larger culture and a much more deeper way now so that we can have this conversation and everybody knows what we're talking about because, at the end of the day, we're all human.

so we're talking about problems that are really human problems from the particular perspective. and when you can make your culture take your specific culture and make it universal, then everybody can enjoy it. ( applause ) >> trevor: it's so interesting to me how i guess america has gotten to a place where everyone is so on edge that they feel the need to attack when there is no need. you know, when "blackish" was first announced, when it was rising up, "blackish," what is that? what does that mean? black show! i saw someone on twitter who tweeted and said i can't believe abc made a show called "blackish," imagine if they had a show called whitish, that would be racism. then that person became president. ( laughter ) it's human stories, a family. >> it's a family, generationally, so you have lots of different perspectives. >> trevor: i thi