who even cares? - ♪ what i'd do for you ♪ - ♪ i'd do anything for you ♪ - ♪ yes, i will, darling ♪ just to see it through - ♪ stand through the storm >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much, everyone! you're amazing! thank you for tuning in! my guest tonight, boston mayor marty walsh is joining us in the studio! ( cheers and applause ) yep, he's backstage still picking the ticker tape out of his hair, but he'll be out here soon. but first, you guys all remember president obama, right? ( cheers and applause )

yeah, because i'm not sure he remembers us. >> that, of course, is president obama himself, killing it enjoying life as a former president. i want you to look at this, he took kiteboarding lesson in the british virgin islands last week as a guest of richard branson. >> trevor: yes, president obama killing it! and for once no drones involved! it's so nice to see barack obama cutting loose. yeah? just relaxing. i mean, he's the former president, so he still has secret service all around him. don't forget that. but, i mean, look at that smile, huh? that's the happiness of a man who is not currently in america. ( laughter ) he's so excited. he was, like, i turned off my phone, canceled my twitter, this is what i call obamacare free.

( laughter ) i bet you when it's time to come back home, obama is going to say he is a muslim just to get banned. he's, like, oh, well, back to the billionaire island. let's do it. clearly, president 44 is enjoying life outside the white house. let's see how 45 is liking life on the inside. >> president trump is struggling to say just to white house life. anonymous sources claim the president spends more time in a bathrobe watching tv or wandering the halls. ( laughter ) >> trevor: oh, man, i'm sorry. oh, wandering the halls in a bathrobe? it sounds like he's haunting his own white house. ( laughter ) just like trump talk walking around, woo-hoo hoo hoo! hoooo! who can help me figure out what an executive order is?

whoooooo! wow, guys. you see what's happened? ( laughter ) trump used to be the care-free rich guy, and now he and obama have switched lives. it's like they got hit by lightning while peeing in the same fountain. or maybe like trump made a wish on a monkey's paw while he was being peed on. all i know is there was pee involved. that's all i'm saying. it's obvious president trump is not having a good time. in fact he's spending most of his time complaining about public frenemy number one the media. >> in his first speech to troops, president trump told soldiers at fort macdill the media was ignoring the reality of terrorism. >> it's gotten to the point where it's not even being reported, and in many cases the very, very dishonest press country want to report it. >> the president offered no examples to the bewildered soldiers. >> trevor: man, you've got to

feel bad for the troops because they've seen a lot of bleep but nothing in their training prepared them for a donald trump speech because what the hell is he saying, the media doesn't report terrorism? really? that's what he's saying? if anything, i think the media reports about terrorism too much. think about it, we know more about some dude in france waving a knife than we do about how trump is taking financial regulation back to before the crash. if media covered car crashes, the same way they covered terrorism, i would never drive again. it would be, like, breaking news! terror on the highway! could you be next?! i don't know! i don't know! they're always reporting on it. in fact, donald trump should be thanking the media because if they didn't freak people out and hyperreport about terrorism, there is a good chance he would still be fake fire celebrities on nbc. like, if trump says it happened, what i've learned now is then the white house has to make it have happened.

so they released a list of all the terror attacks that they said the media underreported, and that is a story that the media definitely reported. >> we covered the vast majority of the list that the white house provided. >> virtually all of which we covered. >> all high profile cases covered by just about every major news outlet. >> nbc news covered 75% of them, 57 attacks on the list. >> yemen, we were there on the ground covering many of those attacks as you see right here on your screen. >> trevor: that's exactly what donald trump wanted. he wanted to get the media wasting time trying to prove something that's not provable. you can't prove if a terrorist attack is underreported. it's subjective. it's like if trump asked you to prove who the hottest jonas brother is. you can't. you can, of course, it's u. joe. ( laughter ) why is the media spending so

much time defending itself because it's clear the trump administration spent no time compiling this list of attacks. for instance this is the list of attacks they say were underreported because no one knew about them. did you guys know about the san bernardino attack? or the paris attack? you ever heard of the pulse nightclub shooting in orlando? was that reported? are you kidding? this was underreported? they were extensively covered. i know everything about the orlando shooting because of the reporting i knew about the guy's grinder profile. i don't know about anybody's grinder profile and i'm on grinder! what are you saying? what are you saying? this list of terror attackers is so bad they even spelled attacker wrong 18 times! how do you spell attacker wrong?

that's what your phone does for free! but fine, if trump wants to talk about ignoring terror attacks, let's start about the terror attacks he ignored because what stands out about this list is like an ashy knees anonymous meeting, there were no white people in it. no dylan roof, no planned parenthood shooter, no pennsylvania police barricade attacker. eth not like the trump people didn't see these attacks. they just don't like to talk about them. the proof is in how they handled last week's quebec terror attack when they initially thought there was a moroccan shooter. >> it's a terrible reminder of whey we must remain vigilant and why the president is taking steps to be proactive rather than reactive when it comes to the nation's safety and security. >> trevor: in other words, this is why we're banning muslims. nowlets see what sean spicer said after it became clear that the shooter was actually white and not muslim.

>> i don't think the president owns a bathrobe. definitely doesn't wear one. ( laughter ) >> trevor: oh, yeah, that's right. of course. spicer never brought up the quebec shooting again, though found time to delve into robe ghazi. i'm so glad he did that. ( laughter ) so here we are people, once again, learning that when a muslim person commits terror it's part of a deadly conspiracy. but when white extremists commit acts of terror over and over again, well, then that's merely a continuing series of isolated events. yeah. it's like saying i'm not addicted to bath salts. that happened one time! on 100 consecutive days! ( laughter ) that's all it is! i'm not addicted, baby! i'm cool! ( applause ) here's the thing -- trump ignoring white terrorists is no coincidence. it's becoming government policy. >> the trump administration is revamping a government program

designed to counterviolent extremism instead of going after all violent extremism, the program would focus solely on islamic extremism. >> effects colluding american terrorism, white nationalist groups, et cetera, from their designation of terrorism. >> trevor: that is the most disgusting part of all this. during the campaign, trump promised america first. now he's the one ignoring all the hard-working white american terrorists? ( laughter ) i guess the forgotten man has been forgotten after all. sad-tire. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( applause ) new belvita sandwich breakfast biscuits are for everyone. like the hottest guy ( applauseat the office. or the second-hottest. it's a small office. made with a peanut butter or

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facts. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i'll never forget where i was -- ( laughter ) -- when i heard that statement. i was on the moon. ( laughter ) you can't proof that i wasn't. for more analysis of kellyanne conway, we turn now to "the daily show"'s resident liar, michelle wolf, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you, trevor. it's great to be here. >> trevor: was that a lie? >> no. >> trevor: was that a lie? >> yeah. >> trevor: i don't know even know how this works. okay, michelle, feels like kellyanne conway has been poking away at the media for months culminating in her latest statement about the bowling green massacre. >> first of all, she hasn't been poking at the media. she's been chewing them up, spitting them out, (bleep)ing on them, lighting them on fire and leaving them on their own doorstep. frankly, i find it damn expressive. >> trevor: expressive? >> she's so good at it. i wish i had her talent. when she's done talking, i don't

know if my mouth is my ass or my ass is my mouth. ( applause ) i mean, she's got a playbook and, of course, like a porn star, she only has four or five moves, but i still love watching her give it to people. one of my favorites is shifting blame. >> will donald trump release anything from the i.r.s. proving he's under audit. >> i don't know. why? are you calling him a liar? >> we're taking his word for it. >> are you calling him a liar? we're taking hillary clinton's word for it she's overheated or something. seriously, we're going to challenge somebody's veracity? >> we started at donald trump's tax return and ended up at hillary lying about pneumonia? kellyanne conway can get out of anything by shifting blame.

she should be bill cosby's lawyer. 15 minute trial and the jury will be angry at mariah careyy's sound guy. ( laughter ) i know a lot of you are, like, i could never do this and you are right because you have a soul. but kellyanne, she doesn't. she's my no-soulmate. so move your hate aside, once you start hating you can appreciate the art industry. another one of her moves, fake truth, real problem. you make up a lie and before anyone can refute it, cloud the discussion about real facts about a devastating unrelated issue. >> then pena nieto canceled his visit this week -- >> that was mutual. the president suggested it first on twitter. >> that he had a meeting scheduled for tuesday? do you think that's good? >> it's great they spoke for an hour. it's not great we have a

$60 billion trade deficit with mexico. there is no border or respect of our sovereignty. i want fox news to interview all parents who lost parents to opiate abuse. ( laughter ) >> come on! i see your canceled meeting and raise you a heroin epidemic?! this is amazing! for decades politics have blown (bleep) on tv but kellyanne conway has changed the game. she's like when black twice started playing basketball or when steroids started playing baseball. which brings me to this past weekend because she did something that could only be described as the beautiful lie. it was her february derisistance. >> i bet it's brand-new information to people that president obama had a six-month ban on the refugee program after two iraqis came here,

radicalized and were the masterminds behind the bowling green massacre. no one knew because it didn't get covered. >> a rollercoaster of contradictions. she said we didn't invent the ban, obama invented the ban and the reason trump needed the ban is because obama didn't have a ban which is why obama couldn't prevent the real bowling green massacre but trump will. come on! it's like as if inception was a sentence! >> trevor: i hear you and you're right, but i don't think we should be celebrating kellyanne conway and the lie about a fake massacre. >> oh, you don't think we should be celebrating kellyanne conway but you want to celebrate a patriots win at the super bowl? a celebration you're having while kids are starving and dying on the streets of chicago, who are, of course, beingig forward by a media that is covering them too much? how dare you, trevor, and on the anniversary of the louisville slugging! >> trevor: whoa! i'm sorry! wait! ( cheers and applause )

wait! no! what?! what just happened? >> you just got conway'd! >> trevor: michelle wolf, everybody! we'll be right back! i don't know even know what that ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ no gettin' through now. [singing] lil' sweet on a tiny horse! oh! this here's private property. call off the search party, whoo, cause i found'em. found who? two thirsty cowboys who deserve the [singing] sweet reward of diet dr pepper. mmmm... that's mighty sweet.

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"the daily show." my guest tonight is the mayor of boston. please welcome mayor marty walsh. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you, it's great to be here tonight. >> trevor: i'm glad you came today. i was worried you were going to cancel on us because the patriots won the super bowl. so congrats on that. >> it was great. >> trevor: like, you had,

what, a million people at the parade? >> yeah, a million people today. it was really incredible. >> trevor: why do people still come out? you won it so many times. >> i think it's because it's number five and the whole country hates us. they hate tom brady. they think he's really handsome but they hit him. >> trevor: easy to hate them when they're that good. >> yeah. >> trevor: what's great to see is the patriots fans had this thing running where they said they'd donate money to syrian refugees for every touchdown the patriots scored. halfway through the first quarter i thought, well, i guess no money for syrians. >> i found afterwards, i was in the press conference about the parade and one reporter asked me did i donate money, i didn't know what he was talking about and i found out it was money going to aclu and i found out they made a lot of money in the second half. >> trevor: yeah, made a lot of

money, with which is great. ( applause ) you have been somebody doing more than giving money. people give in different ways, but as mayor of bourns, you are one of the targets donald trump has spoken act so-called sanctuary cities. for someone who doesn't understand and asked a simple question, why would you be helping undocumented workers stay in the united states? >> 28% of bostonians are immigrants, 43% of bostonians are first generation, so we're a city and country founded by immigrants. my parents came from ierlz. they're immigrants themselves. we have a lot of kids in our school systems. we have a lot of families in our school systems and whether they were brought here by their parents or born here by parents or undocumented, and it's the right thing to do. it's the right thing to do and stand up. if you want to argue immigration, do it, but bring in the leaders of the republicans and the democrats in the congress and the senate to come up with some reforms honored some fixing. don't threat hundred people. two days later we come out with a afghan ban, blocking people at airports around america.

i walked one woman out, she was getting her ph.d. at one of our universities, she has a green card, been a green card holder in the country for a long time, getting a ph.d., working in medical facilities, and she's been detained for four or five hours because of terrorism. listen, i agree i'm concerned about terrorism, i heard your last segment. i'm certainly concerned. we had the boston marathon bombing in the city of boston, but, also, you can't stereotype saying every person coming from a muslim country tore the seven countries they put on the list is a terrorist. they're not terrorists. they're good hard working people that want to earn a living ( applause ) >> trevor: that is a really tough spot to be in because you come from a city. many people can speak but very few come from a city where they have been victims of a terror attack. if somebody says to you, yeah, but mayor walsh, how are you going to protect us? >> the investment should be made in intelligence and in making

sure there was a situation of a guy that killed a woman in san francisco and he had been deported five times, well, clearly there is a problem at the borders there, a probe with him continuing to get back in the country. if you want to make investments, make investments in t.s.a., border patrol, in areas that we keep the bad people out once we throw them out. my police department in boston, you know, we're not going to be immigration police. however, if we find somebody that commits a serious crime, we don't want them in our city. we'll get them through our system and we'll deport them, they should be deported. what i'm filling in reading twitter and looking at facebook and talking to people, they're trying to -- every undocumented immigrant, they're trying to paint him as a criminal in the community and every muslim person in the country trying to paint them as a terrorist. we have a lot of good people at work in our city. i was asked the other day by a guys, he said all these undocumented people working under table taking jobs from people. well, that's not their fault, that the the employer's fault

for hiring people who are undocumented and not paying taxes and not paying all the insurance they're supposed to pay. so let's look there. ( applause ) >> trevor: i'm going to let you go. if you're looking at the situation from the outside, you have taken an oath, an oath of office, so aren't you forsaking that oath by going against, to a certain extent, what the department of jt has said in saying we will not turn these people over who have done nothing wrong? >> i've taken an both of office to represent the people to have the city of boston. it's our obligation not to blame people but to fix a problem and that's what washington has to do now, they have to stop blaming people, stop changing the topic, stop trying to hide under the disguise of terrorism and undocumented immigration and really address the issues moving forward. >> trevor: thank you so much for being here. really appreciate your time. mayor marty walsh, everybody. we'll be right back. thank you very much. advil liqui - gels work so fast you'll ask what bad back? what pulled hammy?

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of referring ( cheers ) >> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight, but 'til then here's the fakest news fit for your screens. you ever get an ad that pops up that seems just too perfectly tailored to you and you alone, like a dog bringing you slippers you didn't know you wanted. and you didn't even know you had a dog? those ads might be because you have a vizio tv! vizio, makers of those cheap, giant flat screens you hope your friends think is a samsung from a distance, just settled a $2.2 million class action lawsuit alleging they installed secret software to spy on owners' cheap, giant viewing habits. the giant spy software supposedly captured second-by-second information like the owners' sex, age,