that is nice. - yeah, that's the show. - mm-hmm. - we should have a tv show or something. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with trevor noah. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much, everybody. thank you. my guest tonight is the star of "grey's anatomy" and your dreams, jesse williams is here, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) first up, we're back! and if you're wondering why we were gone yesterday, it's because of this: >> tens of millions of americans are hit by a fierce winter storm. >> we've seen some people doing some interesting things in their vehicle this morning to pass the time. we even saw one guy-- ewww--

looking at nude photos behind the wheel. >> what. >> i didn't look because i didn't want to see what else he was doing in the vehicle, but, you know. only in chicago. #onlyinchicago. >> trevor: i'm sorry, "only in chicago." i hate to break breakit to you, ma'am, but people masturbate everywhere. in chicago they use ketchup, a pickle and relish for some reason but everybody does it. so there was should th big snowstorm. they told us not to go into work yesterday. people were stock up on groceries. people were panicking about stuff. i punched an old man in trader joe's, for nothing, it turns out. the one upside of the storm was that i fulfilled a lifelong dream of becoming snow bey, which i was really happy about. i went out and i made that happen. i made that happen. but other than that, let's be honest-- if you lived in the major cities this thing was overhyped, completely overhyped. and speaking of which, rachel maddow. ( laughter ) what the (bleep)? you made me stay up till 9:00

p.m. to tell me that trump pays taxes? listen, rachel, telling everyone that you have trump's tax returnes when you just had two pages of his 1040 from 12 years ago that is not trump tax returns. that's like saying, "i have a tape of trump saying the "n" word" and you go and press "play," and trump goes, "nintendo." that's not what we expected, rachel. it's not what we expect. so, basically, rachel maddow showed that donald trump paid $38 million in taxes, which is low, but still, the whole thing is kind of a victory for donald trump. but then this morning, trump registered a couple things in the loss column. the first came from republican congressman devin nunes, who trump hoped would deliver evidence of his imaginary claim that obama was spying on him. the results? >> about the issue with the president talking about tapping trump tower, that evidence still remains the same, that we don't

have any evidence, that that took place. >> trevor: wow. no evidence to support trump. man. this is really going to hurt his reputation as the guy who's never lied about obama. oh, man. ( laughter ) that sucks. oh, and trump's second loss came from jeff sessions, the head of his own justice department, which the president said will provide the proof of his claim. >> did you ever give him any reason to believe that he was wiretapped by the previous administration? >>m... look ...um... the answer is no. ( laughter ) ( applause ). >> trevor: um, um-- jeff sessions is so embarrassed. you know what it looks like? it looks like if he thought if he whispered it low enough it wouldn't count. tricksy hobbittses. all right, but let's move on to our main story. the big discussion in the u.s. is should we let poor people die or not? or as americans call it, health

care. because donald trump was elected to enact his health care plan. >> the way to make health insurance available to everyone is to lower the cost of health insurance and that is what we are going to do. we're going to have great plans. they're going to be much less expensive and much better. everybody has to be covered. i want to take care of everybody. i'm not going to cut medicare or medicaid. it will be better health care, much better, for less money. not a bad combination. >> trevor: wow! trump is healing everybody. ( laughter ) even jesus is like, wow, those are some bold claims, man. i mean i'm more of a "touch me and see what happens" kind of guy. you might turn into wine. roll the dice. americans were looking forward to a health carelan that would be nothing short of tremendous, and when you need something tremendous in washington, there's only one man to turn to-- boring jake gyllenhaal, that's who. leo weeks ago, paul ryan

released the official house republican health care plan to replace the evil that is obamacare. and like a new tanning salon, president trump immediately supported it. >> i'm proud to support the replacement plan released by the house of representatives. i think we're going to have a tremendous success. it's a complicated process, but actually, it's very simple. it's called good health care. ( laughter ) >> trevor: it's complicated, but it's simple. he so didn't read the bill. come on. no, i mean, that's exactly how i gave my book report whiz hadn't read it. you know. i would be like, "this story of "mice and men" was so powerful and like, you know, the way of two species were-- the mice and the way-- i'm sorry, miss. can i be excused? it's so powerful." but, look, no one realistically expectaise president to read reery first major bill that he supports, come on, especially a

president who has other (bleep) to do. this man has to run his golf cowrks people. and right now, he's also got to run around smashing all the white house microwaves. ( laughter ) this poor man has to cook his food old school because of the situation. of course, donald trump didn't read the bill. he trusted paul ryan to make his promisecome to life. and that's the big question: does paul ryan's health plan deliver on trump's promises? well, let's look at some of the major ones. for instance, trump promised a health care plan that would cover everybody. >> the c.b.o. report, some tough numbers for supporters of the republican health plan. >> it is a bad report for the-- for the ryan bill. >> the c.b.o. says the g.o.p. plan would leave 14 million fewer people insured by next year and a total of 24 million fewer by 2026. >> trevor: oh! ( laughter ) that's so cute. the c.b.o. thinks we're going to

make it to 2026. ( laughter ) ah! you gu you guys. 24 million fewer people will be covered. and, by the way, those numbers don't come from haters. they come from the notoriously nonpartisan congressional budget office. these are the expert experts who analyze legislation and predict its impact. they have nothing to gain. they're just trying to help. e like blace black dudes in the movie theater screaming out (bleep). oh, he's behind the door! he's behind the door! they're just trying to help. ( laughter ) so ryan's plan definitely won't cover everyone. that's one trump promise broken. but what about trump's commitment to lower premiums? >> costs for some low-income older americans would spike 750% pain 64-year-old with a $26,000 salary could see a huge spike in their premiums from $1700 a year under obamacare to nearly $15,000 under the g.o.p. plan, a

nearly $13,000-a-year increase. >> trevor: a 64-year-old would get a $13,000 increase. god what did old people ever do to paul ryan? why would he do this? maybe his grandfather gave him some black licorice once in the day and said, one day, pop-pop you, you and all your friends will pay. you'll all pay. at least $13,000 than you were paying before, pop-pop." now, those are only two examples. but the more you look into paul ryan's plan, the less it looks like what donald trump promised. and trump's people are beginning to realize that. >> the populists, the friends of trump who are in his ear saying, "get away from ryan. call it ryancare, shelf this whole plan." >> urging him to move away from iit. >> they're concerned they're jeopardizing his presidency. >> i like how trump surrogateses are worried someone else will ruin trump's presidency. they're like, "trump can destroy

his own legacy, thank you very much!" and people, let's be honest-- as soon as trump gets the vibe that this bill is make him look bad, you know he's going to ditch it. he's going to ditch it and pin it all on paul ryan. and watching ryan lately, you get the sense that he knows this, too. >> obviously the major components are staying intact because this is something we wrote with president trump. >> trevor: really, paul ryan? you expect us to believe that donald trump helped you to write legislation, the same donald trump who can barely write a tweet? that donald trump? that guy? we all see what you're trying to do, speaker ryan. you know your obamacare replacement bill is crap. and now you're trying to throw trump under the bus. but you don't realize, that's not how it works with trump. because trump is the bus. ( laughter ) trump's not going down for his mistakes he never has. yeah.

you're going to be like, "he wrote this because..." ( laughter ) it doesn't happen to donald trump. the bus-- he is the bus. everyone tries to get donald trump. look at rachel maddow. she thought she had him on his taxes. she was like, "did you guys see he only paid..." people were like, "thanks for wasting our time, rachel! i mean, even people who are just near a trump mistake are run over. the pussy grabbing tape, billy bush, he didn't even say much. he was just like, yeah, yeah." and now he's banished from society. trump was like pussy grabbing, billy was like, "what..." now he's living on an ice flow fighting polar br for fish. donald trump is the bus. so, paul ryan, i hope you've got good health care. ( laughter ) because that bus is coming. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )ñ

listerine® kills 99% of bad breath germs for a 100% fresh mouth. feeling 100% means you feel bold enough to... ...assist a magician... ...or dance. listerine®. bring out the bold™

today, unlimited gets the network it deserves. verizon. (mic thuds) uh, sorry. it's unlimited without compromising reliability, on the largest, most advanced 4g lte network in america. (thud) uh... sorry, last thing. it's just $45 per line. forty. five. (cheering and applause) and that is all the microphones that i have. (vo) unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just $45 per line.

wow, it's beautiful, but i think it's way too big. that's what she said. (laughter) i doubt she's ever said that to you. snap into a slim jim. my quest for hydration thawas finally over.hydrowash, was it a mistake to use my only water to take a shower in a place devoid of all water? only the sands of time can be the judge of that. old spice theme playing in background. we're back, (th vanilla lattee) and chocolate mocha--coffee flavored pop-tarts! well, i'll drink to that! ohhh... wohhh... sizzle... (sniffs) me likey a latte! ♪ tadaaa! crazy good!

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." it's time to check in on news from the tech world with ronny chang in today's future now. ♪ ♪ >> thanks, trevor. got a lot of stupid tech (bleep) to share today so let's get into it. everyone has been talking about virtual reality, augmented reality, and whatever hellish reality we're stick stuckin now. you have probably seen robotic protest arms for millennials who

want to participate in democracy but don't want to look up from their phone. but by far, the biggest tech turn this year is connecting as much stupid garbage cause to the internet. >> from smart fridges to drones, artificial intelligence has been added to everything. >> hands-free willow is the first smart wearable breast pump. >> samsung unveiled a refrigerator you can talk to. >> the company is trying to make brushing teeth more fun for kids by turning it into a video game. the handle fidz fitz on your manual toothbrush and connects to a smartphone or tablet turning your toothbrush into a game controller. >> if that tool was so smart it would tell that woman, "hey, your teeth are inside your mouth." right? ( laughter ) and i know for a fact, smart things are not going to make my life easier. it's just another thing for my mom to call me angry and confused about. right? "no, mom, i don't know the password for your vacuum cleaner pup entered the password!"

look, just because you can make something smart doesn't mean you should. >> this product getting a bot of buzz, the smart brush. sensors in the brush count strokes, measures force, and even including a microphone to listen for hair break annual. >> we can tell if you're breaking our damaging your hair and prompt you to use different products and change the way you move the brush. >> if you're taking advice from a hair brush, guess guesswhat? you disoant deserve hair? know what else can tell you your hair suction, a mirror. mirrors are great. you can psyche yourself up before a date, cheer yourself up after a date. why are we so desperate to interact with appliances? relationships are hard enough without my girlfriend comparing me to the dish washer, right? "oh, it does dishes and is a good listener? well, no one can compete with

that." making everything smart is going to have unintended consequences. >> this little boy asking amazon's alexa to play a game. >> she thinks he wants to listen to porn. >> alexa, play... >> do you want to hear a station for porn detected. hot chick amateur girl-- >> no, no, no! >> alexa, stop! no, alexa, don't stop. keep going. what the hell is pussy age dildo ringtone, and how can i get it on my phone? and don't blame alexa for talk dirty. she lrched those words from somebody. so blame whoever was jack off to the audio porn on the family amazon echo. that's a communal echo. ( laughter ) the biggest problem with connecting things to the internet is they're connected to the internet. >> the devices that can make

your home smarter can also unlock the door for hackers. >> qhu see something that is billed as internet connected-- be it a car, you know, a home a light switch-- whatever-- it just remember that that also potentially means hacker connected. >> if you're not careful, your devices can be used to spy on you. >> you like smart toasters? i hope you like your toaster burning a chich vladimir piewp pooutin. if you'll excuse me, i have a three-way plan with a washer and dryer. they get clothes clean but they're nasty. tremp. >> trevor: ronny chang, everybody. we'll be r

okay, that's a one-piece breast. five dollars. hmm, pot pie costs you five bucks. that's a famous bowl, five bills. tenders for a fiver. and that's my two-piece original recipe, also five dollars. that's five real meals, each for five bucks. kfc, it's finger lickin' good.

dearthere's no other way to say this. it's over. i've found a permanent escape from monotony. together, we are perfectly balanced. our senses awake. our hearts racing as one. i know this is sudden, but they say...if you love something set it free. see you around, giulia i like yours too.hair. can i have some? it's not cool to ask that. thanks, captain obvious. online dating isn't always rewarding. but hotels.com is. instant savings now, free nights later. hotels.com.

( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an actor who is best known for his work on "grey's anatomy." please welcome jesse williams. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> trevor: welcome, sir what's up, man? >> welcome to the show. thanks for having me. >> trevor: thank you for being here. >> congratulations, you're crushing it. >> trevor: i appreciate that. i have been training for this interview. everybody said, don't look into his eyes." when you talk to jesse, you don't look into his eyes. no, but for real, thank you very much for being here. you have a lot of fans per not just being good looking, for not

just the great acting you do, but you have done a lot. before we get into your activism and the work you started doing in the community, let's talk about "grey's anatomy." congratulations on that. you guys are growing strong. >> thank you. ( applause ) appreciate that. >> trevor: and in the episode coming up tomorrow they wouldn't let us play it because they're like there are some great twists in it. >> yeah. >> trevor: this is now your character going up on the of the hospital for the first time-- >> yeah, it's kind of my own show. i'm narrating it. usual usually narrated by ellen pompeo. it's like a separate little movie that follows my character and his relationships, ultimately, where he ends up possibly meeting his father for the first time. so yes, it's kind of his own little deal. >> trevor: you're not just doing "grey's anatomy." you're doing an episode for the smithsonian channel. >> i narrated the obama years. >> trevor: is that like going

through a photo album of pictures of your ex? >> except without the betrayal. you're just longing for the days of yore. i think-- and, yeah, you're flashing back to your greatest hits, how you felt when he gave that speech, how you felt during want race speech in philadelphia, and how he of you felt when he came out at the d.n.c., so it's nostalgic. and it's an honor. it's a cool thing. >> trevor: some people just know you from a speech. some people just know you from an acceptance speech at the b.e.t. awards. but you are involved on the ground. for instance, you can a program helping kids to get scholarships, like why did you choose that specific region to get involved? >> well, my background is in education. i've always been an activist. i was also a public high school teacher and it's an app created by chris gray. there are over $100 million in unclaimed scholarships every year and we aggregate them to make them available to students.

we have connected students to over $70 million in scholarship money to put them in school and allow them to stay in school. ( applause ) i know i had a hard time staying in school. i couldn't afford the next semester several times and i almost had to drop out. and this we help people connect. >> trevor: what i think i appreciate most about your work is some people think i'm doing it because they think you're me. >> it's true. ( laughter ) it's just-- it happens to a lot of people but it's a kind of funny biracial conundrum, too-- we all look the same. >> trevor: you posted this picture. this was in a magazine. that's a picture of me, right? >> so you say. >> trevor: well, that's a picture of me. but in the magazine they said, "jesse williams." >> i'm look grate great. ( laughter ) kind of like the way you look. >> trevor: why were they-- do you get that a lot? >> i get it all the time. i get a whole range of "i look like any person-- tony parker, alex rodriguez.

it doesn't matter. you're that guy. you're one of those guys. i love it. big fan. big fanof the thing you do. >> trevor: the thing you all do together. >> yeah. >> trevor: the thing. >> you know. >> trevor: you know. >> you know what happened to me once? i was walking across 9th avenue and somebody said,"hey, great george don lemon." >> wow. >> trevor: and i was like, "go to hell, asshole." >> it's odd to address somebody by their full name as well, "terrific job trevor noah." are you confirming >> trevor: it's a thing that people do. but you know what i'm enjoying that you're door, you love comedy. >> i do. >> trevor: you're a serious guy who loves comedy. >> i do. >> trevor: you have the broji app. basically that came out way bunch of gives that people were using-- >> it's gives. the "g" stands for graphics, thank you three people on the left. >> trevor: i safe jrafik.

>> a broji is amazing. we created a cool keyboard based on how you want to communicate, how you feel on text or facebook, messenger, twitter, whatsapp. an eye roll. we have gives for you that are curated and don't exclude black and brown folks. >> trevor: thank you so much for being here. >> my pleasure. >> trevor: "grey's anatomy" airs thursdays at 8:00 p.m. on abc, and be sure to catch "the obama years" on the smithsonian channel. we'll be right back. how do they make starburst taste so juicy? they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. we traand work year-roundo to grow great hops

there are no shortcuts to goose ipa. we don't need to be the only beer you drink. we just want to be the best beer you drink. an unlimited data plan as the network it's on. and verizon has been ranked number one for the 7th time in a row by rootmetrics. (man) hey, uh, what's rootmetrics? it's the nation's largest independent study and it ranked verizon #1 in call, text, data, speed and reliability. (woman) do they get a trophy? not that i know of. but you get unlimited done right. (man 2) why don't they get a trophy? (man 3) they should get something. (woman 2) how about a plaque? i have to drop this. my arm's getting really tired. unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just $45 per line.

and once again we are taking that love to new heights. the one that got away is back in a big way. the bigger, beefier, triple double crunchwrap. only at taco bell. [sfx:] computer need to refuel! we've been compromised. don't let hunger kill your game. fuel up with hearty hot pockets, made with premium pepperoni and 100% real cheese. guys, i'm back. [sfx:] ding hot pockets! regerts!?le buzzing] sorry... i was eating a milky way.

(alien humming) fruit by the foot fun what's on the end of yours? and it's been withered by winter.. but all pete needs is scotts turf builder lawn food. it's the fast and easy way to a thick, green, resilient lawn with two simple feedings. one now, and one later this spring. it takes grass from hungry - to healthy. pete may not be an expert, but look at that grass. this is a scotts yard.

sfx: dryhey!lasting. namaste. it's pretty good. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: that's our show. before we go, last week we asked you to tweet your ideas for our moment of zen with the hashtag #dailyshowzen. and you did, thank you. we got lots of great submissions and some that were, frankly, jst awful. come on, people, we're not going to use your still photo of a sunset for zen. that's very zen, but it's not "daily show" zen. so whenever you see something you think is zen worthy, it's a news or news-related clip in the u.s. or international news, send us your suggestions and use the hashtag #dailyshowzen. without further ado, tonight's zen comes from #siobanirishgirl, up in british columbia, canada. sioban, here you are, your moment of zen. >> they're known for a lot of things, their speed and power

and skills with the keyboard. ♪ ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh >> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight. you can still get a sunburn so lather up. massive late winter storms are dumping snow on much of the country. one new york town got 31 inches of snow, and i got to say, we completely understand. here in l.a. some res dnts are considering actually putting on long pants before heading to the beach to smoke dank legal weed, i mean this guy's ankles aren't even covered. but if you are getting slammed by snow in boston, never fear, porn hub is here. the web -- yeah. all right. you know what, some of you can pretend like you don't know what it is. the web-based intercourse purveyors have been sending help to snowed in bostonians. >> plow job,