anything else to tell the space cops? - nope! - no! - no changes! no, no changes! - no, tell 'em no. - no changes. - yeah, no, we've told you everything, space officers. - all right, that's it, then. come on out, sir. it appears to be over! - oh, [bleep], it's baby fark mcgee-zax! - my real name is kevirn xaxor. i am the ambassador to new planet testing. - what the hell are they talking about? - these are not space cops. there is no space jail. and space cash is only worth what you as a planet decided it was worth. i mean, how stupid is your species? space jail? baby fark mcgee-zax? - it was a trick? - whenever a civilization discovers warp speed, we want to bring them into the federation of planets. but first we do the space cash test

to see if that species is worthy of joining. - needless to say, you all failed. [clears throat] people of earth, since you did not return the space cash, your species and your planet is hereby forever blocked off and barred from the rest of the universe. good-bye. - no, hey, wait! wait! no! well, that sucks! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the

daily show"! i'm trevor noah! thank you so much for tuning in. my guest tonight will be dr. willie parker, ob/gyn and former pro-life but decided to become pro-choicer. i'm so excited to talk to him about his new book, "life's work." now today's social media. >> twitter looking different. >> he's gotten rid of the egg avatar's which had become a symbol of online harassment. >> the egg replaced by human silhouette, to encourage users to personalize profiles while cutting down on abuse. >> trevor: no, twitter! not the egg! as someone who gets a lot of twitter hate i prefer it to come from a cute little egg. the words will be the same but when the egg tweets me it's like -- small voice -- go back to africa, trevor! but the silhouette is like --

large voice -- go back to africa, trevor! a silhouette shadows you and stabs you? the shower. ( laughter ) the first silhouette they came up with was more racist than the egg. ( laughter ) if twitter wants to improve itself, whenever a celebrity's name is in the trending topics, tell us right away if they're dead or it's their birthday. i don't need any more emotional rollercoasters in my life. if they want to discourage anonymity, cool, but they should make the default avatar somebody nobody wants, like a picture of ted cruz. if that was everyone's picture, you would be like, no, no! i'll upload a picture! even ted cruz doesn't want to be ted cruz. he would be probably seeing that and be, like, i want to change back to the egg, back when i was beautiful! it's all about the trolls.

speaking of twitter trolls, president donald j. trump, he announced april is not just for fools. >> trump is proclaiming april 2017 national sexual assault awareness and prevention month. ( "hail to the chief" playing ) >> trevor: yeah! ( immitating donald trump ) trump -- thanks, president trump, it's officially sexual assault awareness and prevention month. yes, you know how trump can celebrate? by calling out his propaganda partner bill o'reilly at fox news. yeah! but this is a decision we can get behind in a respectful manner -- no touching, no sneaking -- just get behind it respectfully. it is something we can get behind because what's impressive is that trump is finally following presidential tradition because obama started this month, right? and now trump is following suit which is super rare. could this be the pivot, people? is that elusive presidential

prift, the sasquatch of trump's presidency? anything obama started trump discarded, the white house correspondents dinner? you want to throw the first pitch? eat (bleep). want to be part of sexual assault snon month? i'm in! i'm no! when do i start?! no, no -- ( applause ) ( laughter ) here's my controversy theory, i find it extremely convenient suddenly trump wanted the white house to focus on sexual assault basically the same day his daughter started working there. all of a sudden he's like, all right, guys, we're done. like the yappers who say, yo, man, since i got my baby girl, i don't say bitch no more. you know what i mean? ( laughter ) it's true trump doesn't know anything about certain policies

like health care, taxes, immigration, foreign policy, trade, infrastructure, sentence structure -- ( laughter ) -- but even the haters have to admit when it comes to sexual assault trump knows his (bleep). >> breaking story, donald trump apologizes for comments he made on a hot mic in 2005. >> grab 'em by the pussy -- >> allegations against donald trump talking about unwanted touching. >> instead of a handshake he kissed her. >> donald trump finds himself twice more up for sexual assault. >> pushed her up against a wam. >> the number of people that accuses him of sexual assault totals seven. >> the potential rain case of the girl. >> eleven women now! >> his hands were all over me, it was like he was an octopus. it was like he had six arms. >> trevor: wow, i don't know about you, but i still can't believe donald trump was involved in all of that and then got elected. that is insane! trump being anti-sexual assault

is like cisco marching against thongs -- it's wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong -- ( laughter ) like, i don't think you fully understand how deep donald trump's history with sexual misconduct goes. just allegations alone have their own wikipedia page, five subsections, goes on for pages, it has 123-foofootnotes! every time you donate to wikipedia, half the money goes to maintain donald trump's page. each time he's accus accused ofl assault his tie grows longer, which doesn't seem crazy until you see he started with this. ( laughter ) it's almost like if you're a woman in the white house, you've got the know your job won't be business as usual because the president is dogged by sexual assaults, all right, and the

vice president is extreme in a totally different kind of way. >> "the washington post" reporting the vice president won't have din air loan with other women or attend events where alcohol is served unless his wife is by his side. ( laughter ) >> trevor: so mike pence refuse tons alone with a woman who isn't his wife. like maybe that's why trump picked him, to balance the ticket out? i grab them by the pussy, he avoids them at all costs, it averages out to a handshake, equality! (trump voice) ( applause ) >> trevor: you know what's interesting about what mike pence says, he won't be alone with a woman unless he's married to her. so many conservative republicans spend all their time bashing muslims for how they treat women, yet they seem to be perfectly fine over here with sharia mike who is, like, no

women alone with me one on one, nothing! i see it's hard to see mike pence's actions as sexism, but what if a female legislature wanted to discuss legislation at dinner with mike pence. he wouldn't do it unless there's a chaperone? why? is he afraid they'll start banging in the middle of dinner? how irresistible does mike pence think he is? ( laughter ) he's sitting there, like, there is no way we can be in this room and not have sex. how do you think my hair got so white? i (bleep) the color out of it. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) dear predictable, there's no other way to say this. it's over. i've found a permanent escape from monotony. together, we are perfectly balanced, our senses awake, our hearts racing as one. i know this is sudden,

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." earlier in the show, we were talking about twitter and a feature it's getting rid of, but one prominent feature of twitter that's still there is one you may not have heard of. roy wood, jr. has the lowdown. >> you may or may not have heard about black twitter but it's huge. and if you want the to understand it, imagine a barbershop. i know what you're thinking, it's a barbershop, i'm a black dude, we're about to do all the usual stuff. lebron james, triple kid. >> shut your ass up.

>> bootleg man, bootleg man! >> hey, hey! >> the boys ain't got no daddy, marquis! you got a daddy who loves you! >> for decades, the black barbershop has been the epicenter of black culture but the internet changed things. let me introduce you to black twitter. >> black twitter is -- >> somebody more scwawstled. executive writer and black person. jamila, what is black twitter? >> it's really an extension of how we commune kate in our neighborhoods, barber shops, churches, schools, it is our village. >> think of black twitter as harlem. black folks made it cool and white people are trying to move in. >> what we do on social media is we index, use it more than anybody else and have it on mobile and by our side 24 hours day. >> while we make up 20% of the u.s. population, 25% of twitter

users are on black twitter. if anybody can back it up, elon james white. >> one of the major parts of black twitter is the ability to force a conversation that otherwise would be ignored. >> hashtag oscar so white made the oscars more black. you got ferguson, "black lives matter," bring back our girls. >> ferguson, mike brown getting shot, i knew about that before it hit the news because i was seeing tweets from st. louis and ferguson his body hadn't been picked up yet. >> movements that would have taken weeks to mobilize can be organized in ours. >> george zimmerman wouldn't have been tried at all if not for black twitter. >> if dr. king had twitter he would have gotten more accomplished. he wouldn't have been -- maybe he would have been arguing with tolls. >> come to bed. i can't.

>> within black twitter you still have intellectual twitter, academics, hotep quitter. >> hotep is loudly, conspicuously and obnoxiously pro black. that's a little harsh. i prefer to call the brothers blacken enthusiasts. be black, do black, shop black, buy black, date black, smoke blacks and you got the bay hive. one of the twins isn't even jay-z's. >> who's talking about beyonce? >> no beyonce slander, child. survive. she represents joy for so many people, particularly black women. she's on the wall with martin, malcolm, barack, beyonce. >> black twitter is also the place to keep up with the latest fashion, music and racial slurs. >> ooh! i have been called every type of

(bleep) on the planet. >> er -- >> a, ah -- >> igz. >> i didn't know it existed till i saw it on twitter. >> ask jerry rice who thought it was good to wear a fried chicken helmet in a popeye commercial. >> i don't think that's okay. >> sometimes people need to be shamed. >> black twitter has no qualms about calling anybody out. >> live footage of jerry rice getting drug on black twitter. and it's not just people. corporations try to be too cool and get on the wrong side of black twitter all the time like using black slang to wear pancakes. >> i-hop is one of those weird once. >> pancakes on fleek! >> you don't throw fleek behind something and call that engaging

with the culture. >> a general rule of thumb to all corporations, if you wouldn't say it to a black person's face, don't tweet it. >> boy, buy! noz! retweet to win! >> don't say it! shhh! >> black twitter challenges spaces of power in a way we haven't seen. >> black twitter experiences is diverse and more importantly vocal. if you're wondering how to find black twitter, probably not for you. >> they should give us twitter. we have appropriated twitter. this is the first thing black people effectively appropriated and made our own. >> as long as black twitter is there, the fight for justice just got easier. >> where is my money? >> i gotcha. >> i know where you work, okay? >> yeah yeah, yeah,, yeah -- ( applause ) >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everybody. we'll be right back.

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spiked sparkling water. so now you can make the ultra light choice. henry's hard sparkling. the ultra light choice. an unlimited data plan is only as good as the network it's on. and verizon has been ranked number one for the 7th time in a row by rootmetrics. (man) hey, uh, what's rootmetrics? it's the nation's largest independent study and it ranked verizon #1 in call, text, data, speed and reliability. (woman) do they get a trophy? not that i know of. but you get unlimited done right. (man 2) why don't they get a trophy? (man 3) they should get something. (woman 2) how about a plaque? i have to drop this. my arm's getting really tired. unlimited on verizon. 4 lines, just $45 per line. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show."

my guest tonight is a a doctor, reproductive justice activist and author whose new memoir is called "life's work: a moral argument for choice." please welcome, dr. willie parker. ( cheers and applause ) welcome, doctor. before we get into really everything that's in the book, just give somebody who has no clue what is it like for a woman who is trying to have an abortion in the deep south, you know, places like alabama, georgia, mississippi? >> if you're not familiar with all the barriers that are in place, the laws that have been put into place, even though abortion remains legal based on the roe decision, there have been lots of rules placed in the path of women, things like waiting periods. in alabama there is a 48-hour waiting period. once you decide to have an abortion in louisiana, it's 72 hours, in mississippi 24.

so there are long waiting periods, financial barriers. those are just the institutionalized thing. there is the stigma and the shame women are made to feel that they are doing something immoral by choosing their lives over the ambitions that other people have for them. >> trevor: if someone were to encounter and say why are you in such a worry, why not a waiting period, why not any amount of time to wait on? what would your response be to those people? >> well, it sounds good. it passes the common sense test but it's not informed by the reality. there is not a woman i know who doesn't say that when she peeons that stick and it's positive, she says, i'm pregnant, oh great, or i'm pregnant, oh (bleep). so, as a result, women have to -- being forced to wait to indulge somebody's sensitivities is to say that we don't trust women with their important

decisions, and i just beg to differ. ( applause ) >> trevor: you talk about in your book how it took your 13 years coming from a very religious background to change how you viewed a woman's right to choose. why and how did you change your mind? >> well, i've always been pro-life, but what i mean by pro-life, pro-life of the woman. i've never been opposed to a woman making that decision, but i was conflicted because i wasn't clear about what it meant to me personally to provide that care. so i had to think about my religious understanding and my religious conviction a little bit differently. so i think pro-life is a misnomer for people who are against abortion, people who are opposed to abortion are pro fetus. i'm pro-life of the woman and you can't have more interest in the pregnancy in a woman's care than the woman herself.

( applause ) i>> trevor: in the past six years over 300 abortion restrictions enacted by states. this year alone at least 46 anti-abortion bills introduced or pending in about 14 states. what's really interesting is you have compared this, the control of a woman's body, to slavery, which to many would be a bombastic term. why would you say that? >> i think if you've never lived with your back to the wall, it would be really hard for you to understand what it's like to have the most essential aspect of your being, the ability to make decisions about your life, to have hopes and aspirations and dreams and to have that controlled by someone else. i as a man will never face an unplanned pregnancy, but i feel like i'm in the same position

that abraham lincoln was when someone asked him why did you free the slaves? there are many reasons the civil war was fought, but he said i would not be a slave and i would not be a master. i refuse to participate in a system that deny women the same agency to make decisions about their lives as i have as a man. ( applause ) >> trevor: you obviously face a lot of opposition taking this stance. you know, traveling around, helping women who don't have access to abortions, women who are forced to travel to other states. the president said, if a woman under roe or if they change a laws in a stay they don't allow abortion she can just travel to another state. why is this such a big issue? >> the problem with that is people in this country under our constitution, everyone should have equal access and equal

protection under the law. so that mean one state is not free to impose its responsibility to ensure the health of its citizens to another state. the bottom line is nobody's health or aspirations should depend on their zip code. and if you say a woman can simply go to another state, that sounds nice but it's not informed by the reality that men and women face hurdles and if the clinic is 500 miles away, it might as well be a million miles away, or if the woman doesn't have the resources to travel, as many don't have the resources to travel in state let alone go to another state. so it's a callous statement to say, almost like marie antoinette, let them eat cake. it's callous. >> trevor: it doesn't take into realities of the situation many women are. you spoke earlier how a day like today and every day of the year has significance importance to you. why is that? >> it occurred to me, trevor, this is april 3, the day before

my book launch, and when i was told the book would be launching on april 4, there's a tab set in my heart around the fact that that was the day dr. martin luther king was assassinated. it struck me that tonight, 49 years ago was dr. king's last night on earth. for me what that means is i like to imagine that i was the little kid living in alabama who he had hopes and aspirations for that my dreams wouldn't be determined by the color of my skin. so this book, my career is really a recognition of the vitality of the movement that he gave his life for. ( applause ) >> trevor: you tell an amazing story. it is a beautiful book. thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you, thank you. >> trevor: "life's work" will be available april 4. dr. willie parker. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪