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and so today, south park held a parade to honor officer barbrady and his heroic work on the chicken !@#$% case. thank you, everybody, thank you ! speech, speech ! what ? they want you to give a speech. about the whole experience over the last couple of days. oh, okay. well, first of all i'd like to thank the town of south park, the town that bore me and eventually will rob me of my life precious. second, i'd like to say to all those out there who think they can screw chickens just to teach people to read, your days are numbered ! and finally i'd like to say that reading totally sucks ass. ( together ) hurray ! yes, at first i was happy to be learning how to read. it seemed exciting and magical, but then i read this, "atlas shrugged", by ayn rand. i read every last word of this garbage

and because of this piece of !@#$% i'm never reading again ! ( together ) hurray for barbrady ! i guess reading really does suck ass. that's what i've been saying all along, you guys. i'm just glad everything turned out okay, and barbrady got his job back. it's poetic justice. thanks, boys. captioning made possible by comedy central from comedy central's world news

headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevora. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. my guest tonight is one i'm excited to have on the show. he is the environmental engineer who helped uncover the flint water crisis, marc edwards is tbing to be here, everybody. really excited about that. but, but, let's get straight into it. the big news everyone is talking about. serena williams is expecting a little baby, yo! yeah! congratulations, serena. although i must admit i was a little disappointed to find out she was preg nantd when she won the australian open which is not cool because tech clea that's a doubles match, cheating. i'm just going to put it out there. and you know what they say, for every amazing black baby that

comes into the world, one old white man has to leave. >> we have some breaking news to report to you, fox news anchor bill o'reilly will not be returning to the o'riley factor. parent company 20th century fox says it came to the decision after a review of the allegations of sexual harassment and verbal abuse coming from the host. of course he settled a lot of lawsuits, no word yet what will happen to his show, the o'reilly factor. one would assume the name changes. >> trevor: or, or they just keep the show and they just find a random irish guy with the same last niem, like it's me, steve o'reilly. tonight's top stories bono, that's not a real name. because i mean we assume that they will change the name of the show, but we also assumed that fox would have feared o'reilly after the third time he was accused of sexual harassment, so you never know. and now here at the daily show we want to give o'reilly the sendoff that he deserves. because let's be honest. is he not going to get it on fox, that is for sure. those guys are probably going to

pretend nothing was wrong, no news to report here, everything is fine. back to you, megyn, i mean gretta i mean grechen, i mean bill. i mean who is left? so let's give bill his proper due, because you may not know this, but bill o'reilly was the biggest figure in the history of cable news. at one point no one even came close. because they were afraid that he might sexually harass them. his prime time show was the top cable news show for 16 years with as many as 4 million viewers a fight before he was whrog up o be inside edition which is shown on this infamous clip. >> i done know what that means to play us out. what does that mean? to end the show. >> yeah, yeah. >> that's tomorrow and that is it for us today and we will leave you with a-- i can't do it. >> okay.

>> we'll do it live. >> okay. we'll do it live! [bleep] it! do it live. i can-- i'll write tanned we8's do it live! [bleep] [bleep] sucks. >> trevor: wow. wow. all of that just because bill o'reilly had never heard the expression play us out that is the angriest have i ever seen someone get from not knowing a phrase am like for instance in america i hear phrases i don't understand all the time i don't flip the out it over you. don't see me going my neck of the woods, what neck, what woods, woods don't have neck, it doesn't make sense, it doesn't [bleep] make-- aagh, [bleep] i will do it live. (applause) now some of us watch that clip and we see madness. but in the mid -9d 0st a man by the name of roger ailes watched it and he saw greatness. and he reached out and said come join me at fox, o'reilly anding

to we will build a cable empire fueled by white christian resentment. and then as our master stroke we will both be forced to leave because we couldn't keep our penises in our white christian pants. allegedly. and so o'reilly went forth and gave voice to that vision. >> if you are a christian or a white man in the u.s.a., it's open season on you. there is a war between traditional americans and secretary you lar progressives in this i c. let's seize white privilege in america as an oppressive force that must be dun away with, taking voting power away from the white precincts is the quickest way to do that. >> "the new york times" of the world hate the white, christian male power structure. and want to change it by a massive amount of foreign nationals being able to vote. >> the way we've lived for the past 250 years, are under seige.

>> christmas has become controversial in america within the war on christmas beguns. >> the war on christmas. >> war on christmas. ♪ we wish you a merry christmas. ♪. >> so called white privilege, bad. diversity, good. >> okay. . >> trevor: here is what i don't understand. if white people don't have it it good in the u.s., then which race does? because it's not black people, it's not hispanics, it's not asians. that pretty much leaves whatever mystery race bruno mars is. (laughter) so who's having a good time? so yeah, bill o'reilly talked about a lot of issues over 20 years. but it's important tonight to remember that he had a special place in his heart for black people, prison. >> don't get pregnant at 14. don't allow your neighborhoods to deter rate into free fire zones. that's what the african-american community should have on their

t-shirts. with african-american youth. >> how are you going to get jobs for them, many are ill educated and have tattoos on their foreheads. there is an outreach, i done even know what that means, by the obama administration to african-americans. what does that entail? are they going to be on soul train. >> you always refuse to acknowledge that there is institutional racism in this country. and that that there is a legacy of racism. >> because you condition prove it, slaves did participate in the construction of the white house. slaves that worked there were well fed, and had decent lodgings provided by the government. say are you a cocaine dealer and you kind of look like one a little bit. >> trevor: can i just say, bill o'reilly's lucky that black people aren't all the criminals he thinks they r otherwise that guy would have popped a cap in his ass. he would have popped the cap in his ass. but no, he had to go and be a highly educated college rov

certificate. boring. you know, looking back on all of o'reilly's greatest hits, the one thing that is hard to believe is that if took this long for him to lose his job. that's what i always wonder. why did all the advertisers that pulled off his show now stick with the show that long? like what, were they watching that, like you know what, he ds look like a cocaine dealer, yeah. buy ready whip. but maybe the reason fox kept o'riley on for so long was because sometimes he was so racist, it show became funny. >> you know, i was up in harlem a few weeks ago. and i actually had dinner with al sharpton we went to sylvias a famous restaurant in harlem. i couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in new york city. i mean it was exactly the same. even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship. it was the same. >> it wasn't one person in sylvia's who was screaming mfer i want more ice tea.

>> please. >> you know, everybody was-- it was like going into an italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. and there wasn't any kind of craziness at all. >> trevor: this is so racist, i can't even be mad about it. because you realize in bill o'riley's mind going to a black restaurant was basically going to be like walking into its middle of the rodney king riots. like he thought people wouldn't be ordering food, they just loot the kitchen and run out with their order. you know, the waiters would be doing drive-by, you want some ketchup, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. get some pepper, y'all. what do you think? an bill o'reilly wasn't just a famous news man. you know all that anger and victimhood you hear from trump

voters, a lot of that started with him. like a lot of people said that john jon stewart was the yoda of cable news. well, bill o'reilly was the-- and i want to be daisey ridley, can i be daisey ridley, please. -- i think i nailed it. and you know what they say about the sits, there is much anger on the dark side. >> you are either going to stop talking or i will cut your microoff. >> cut his mic. >> cut his mick off. >> shut up, shut up. >> you don't know anything. >> because they have a right to be in this country. >> their entitlement. >> what do you want to yell for. >> because you're lying. >> what is it your faulted, oh no, millions of dollars, it wasn't your fault, come on, you could you ard say the truth. >> what do you mean cow ard. >> you are a cow ds ard. >> trevor: damn, i dob know if he ever should have had a tv show but i do know he would have fit right in in that imaginary

black restaurant, i will tell you that much. he would have been perfect. you're the cow ard, you're the cow ad, where is my food, bleemp [bleep] i will do it live! so it is sad to say but fairwell extremely old friend. but before you go, bill o'reilly, one last time, please, why don't you play us out. >> it is just running around trying to jazz people up, i give them the same jazz i give everybody else. >> is the sporting crew giving any jazz on that? were when you tbet back to new haven are they going to give you jazz. >> i'm only giving you jazz. >> you know trump gives you jazz all day long. >> jeb bush giving a little jazz today. >> i ain't getting some z jazz. >> that's all right. i'm a big boy, you give me jazz. >> obviously, get some jazz. >> anybody give you any jazz. >> i'm giving you jazz on the comeies. >> jazz, jazz, jazz. >> how about you, do you get jazz thed. care for a little jazz, mike.

i gave everybody a little jazz. >> trevor: unlike bill o'reilly, we'll be right back. (cheers and mayer hawthorne playing ] blue moon is brewed with valencia orange peel, for a taste that shines brighter.

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but we've got the get tdigital tools to help. now with xfinity's my account, you can figure things out easily, so you won't even have to call us. change your wifi password to something you can actually remember, instantly. add that premium channel, and watch the show everyone's talking about, tonight. and the bill you need to pay? do it in seconds. because we should fit into your life, not the other way around. go to xfinity.com/myaccount >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. now last year the city of flint michigan became the face of america's worst water crisis. but if you thought flint was an isolated case, think again. hasan minhaj investigateses. >> you guys remember the flint

water crisis, you know that totally avoidable manmade disaster we all cared about. i cared about it because i tweeted about it. turns out my flash vism, worked. flint drinking water meets federal regulation on lead, which dun mean there is no lead in the water there is just an acceptable amount of lead in the water. which is basically like telling your kids, there is just an acceptable amount of killer clowns underneath thrair bed. knew 230r whatever reason the citizens of flint aren't celebrating. >> i've lost all trust in the system. >> we are still playing the highest rates in the united states for water we can't use safely. >> we are still being use told to use faucet filters or bottled water. >> flint is just the tip, a coring to a report 4 million americans could be drinking toxic water and would never know. the top of that list ranger, texas, which is why they sen me, the only correspondent on the show to the middle of west

texas. >> ranger texas, a once thriving oil boon town that at its peak had a population of 30,000 has now dwind eled down to 2500. some parts of ranger have had lead readings that were 28 times the federal limit, rivalling the worst parts of flint. many residents here are forced to live off of bottled water. >> you want me to get the water. >> yeah, go ahead. >> res dnts like vietnam veteran bill blisser. >> my wife carries more of that. get some more than of that. >> 450er you go. >> you know, question get it, if you come back we can get it-- somebody's got to get the door. >> it just smells like garbage kind of. >> yeah, that's why we don't drink tment we drink bottled water. >> sure, it looks clear but it's what you can't always see that hurts you the most.

lead, copper bacteria, that's what gets you. >> there you go. >> is this for me. >> no, that's for my dogs. >> you have the dogs. >> i drink dasani my dogs do, that is what i do every morning at about 4:00, so if you are ever up early you can have some coffee. >> 4 a.m. >> yeah, i don't get up at 4 p.m. >> all right, ready for my bath. >> we don't take baths. >> imagine your grandpa who fought in the war, that guy can't even unwind in a nice warm bath. i mean well, i can't imagine it because i take baths like this, but anyway, back to bill. he can't take a bath and unlike flint there is no government help, no lead filters, no free bottled water and on top of that, he has to pay for the water he can't drink. >> we pay about between 90 and 110 a month on bottled water. and then we pay about 132 dollars a month for garbage and water sewer that is delivered to the house. >> the water sucks, by the way, you owe us 130. don't drink this but send us a

check. >> here is the crazy part 6789 for years city, state and federal officials never warned ranger residents about lead in the water. in fact, when "u.s.a. today" broke the story, that is how some of these people found out. of course not everyone needed a warning to know their water was straight garbage. >> how has the water crisis affected you? >> like that. >> it came right out of the bathtub faucet. >> i get my paycheck and send half of it on bottled water. >> fla is crazy. college students should be able to use their money to buy alcohol and drugs. >> you can't eat with t you can't cook with t you can't drink it, me and her can't even get naked and crazy with it. you don't even want the water on it. >> you can't do anything with it. >> i don't want to think about it. >> got to go. >> all right, that's it people can't even [bleep] in shot we are. this is america. time to face the people in

charge. i decided to show up to ranger city hall unannounced and give a piece of my mind. >> how is it going? i'm hasan minhaj with "the daily show." the director of public work started by defending it. >> it is safe to drink to consume, you can cabbing with it, bathe with it, clean your dishes with it, it's not going to harm it. >> you can have sex in the shower. >> i don't care if you have sex in 9 shower or the middle of main street. >> do you drink the tap water. >> i drink it, yes. >> regularly. >> yeah. >> i haven't had a problem since i've been here but i go drink that water right now. >> all right. >> this say cup. ranger, texas, water, straight out the tap. >> good. >> this is like world war water edition. >> never had better. >> come on, roger, you have had better. i think we both can agree that

from an infrastructure level there is something wrong with the water. >> i'm not going to say there isn't anything wrong with the water. 57bd there has been but you know, i can't change a whole city system. because we don't have 15 million dollars. that's just the norm about small communities and small systems that haven't kept up with times 6789 we've gotten lead samples here that are bad. out of city hall. >> then why did you just drink that water. >> i'm not concerned about it because it's not that one little 16 ownsz cup of water is not going to hurt me. >> but i'm concerned. you shouldn't have done that on cam rament i don't want you to get hurt, marn. -- man. >> okay. so who is going to fix this? the city is broke and also run by people who drink poison with ther, and while the state of michigan gave flint millions of dollars to fix their water infrastructure, state of texas hasn't stepped up for ranger yet. and the federal government, well, president trump made scott

pruitt the new heads of the epa. pruitt previously killed an environmental protection unit that investigated water contamination, basically pruitt running the epa is like pablo escobar running the dea. so residents like bill brisker aren't really crossing their fingers. >> how are they doing in flint? do you know? >> i think that the people are going to be forgot enlike a lot of other things, you know, in this i c. and it's not just us, it's tons antons of other cities t is a mess. >> yeah, it say nationwide mess. there are places like ranger all over the country where safe drinking waterlogs are being violated. >> until somebody actually steps in and helps the situation, millions of americans in small towns across this country won't be able to drink their matter. bathe in their water but most importantly, bleech [bleep] in their water. plaws plawses. >> trevor: hasan minhaj,

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