- let me talk to her! patty! patty, what are you doing? patty, pull over the nascar. you're acting irrationally. patty, did you forget to take your medication? you know how you get when you don't use your vagisil. there should be some in your purse, my muse. patty? - oh, you dumb bitch! butters, this bitch is tryin' to wreck my car! - i know! that pisses me off! that's [bleep] gay. - [bleep] gay as hell. - patty, you are my muse and my flame. - they're neck and neck approaching the finish line! - oh, [bleep] my ass again! [crowd cheering] - aaahhh! - big celebration for the lowe's home improvement team. - patty! how could you?

you've ruined us! you've ruined vagisil! - ha! [muffled] - no, no, kenny, go ahead. i deserve it. i thought i could just waltz onto a race track and do what these people do, but i owe you an apology. the truth is, i'm just too smart. and with how smart i am, i'll always be successful and therefore have money. i just have to accept i'm too smart and rich for nascar. time for me to give it up. all right, butters, give me back my money. - huh? - the $58.32 i gave you! i want it back! - but you--you said i could-- [mumbling incoherently] - god damn it, butters! you better have it! butters, you're always trying to screw me over! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com from come he de central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah.

>> trevor: welcome to the daily show, thank you so much for tuning in, i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight the founder of a new way of life, a program that helps women start new lives after prison, susan burton is here, everybody, joining us on the show. going to be a really interesting chat. but today was another earthquake of a day in washington, right? today's late-breaking news, because this happened lit reallily every day now, right, we start the day going i can't believe what trump did yesterday. by the end of it it is more like i can't remember what trump did yesterday, that was so long ago. well, today's news was that the justice department is now appointing a special counsel to head the investigation into russian election med el-- meddling, right? that's a good thing, yes. and people are talking about president trump being in real trouble this time, which means for trump, it's a normal wednesday. like when he heard they

appointed a special counsel, he was probably like special, like important, or special like the guy i made fun of, which one? so the new man of the hour is robert mueller, right, who actually ran the fbi before comey. and he had been enjoying himself in private law practice. i can only imagine him sitting at home watching all this comey stuff probably saying man, i'm glad i'm not part of this any more. i'm just like-- ring ring hello, yeah, oh for god's sake. would it help if i said i'm too old for this [bleep]? okay, see you in an hour. bye. you know what's funny about this whole situation is that we're experiencing this [bleep], but on friday trump is leaving for his first international trip as president. and at this point it feels less like a trip and mr leak he's fleeing the country, you know. like the captain would be like so mr. president what day do we get back, actually, it's a one

way. like who knows, who knows, if this investigation moves fast enough, trump might not be able to get back home because america doesn't let criminals back into the country. you never know. you never know. (applause) if there is one word that has been synonymous with the trump presidency, from day one, it's been scandal. in fact now everyone who works in the white house has changed their ring tone to da, da, da! last week it was firing fbi director james comey who was coincidentally investigating trump's ties to russia. then monday we found out that trump revealed national security secrets, coincidentally to the russians. and then last night to complete the triology, yet another trump scandal drops. >> there is more breaking news, indeed another blockbuster revelation. the report saying that president trump asked then fbi director james comey to end the

investigation of michael flynn, the president's former national security advisor. >> now it turns out that director comey has notes, notes and memos that document what he says the president said to him in private. >> is it president trump asked the fbi to end the investigation, is that the straw that breaks the camel's back. >> trevor: james mother [bleep] comey plus he helps trump get elected and he could be the reason that trump gets kicked out. comey-- comey reminded me of every black mother. i brought you into this world and child, can i take you out of it. (cheers and applause) and comey's memo may, in fact, take trump out of it, because of a little thing known as the law. >> three words, obstruction of justice. telling the fbi director to

close down an investigation of your senior campaign advisor for his activities during your campaign for president, if that's true, that is obstruction of justice. that is a crime. >> trevor: oh. the old obstruction of justice, yes. it's not just an impeachable offense, it is the impeachable offense. obstruction of justice is to impeachment what that funky robot voice is to a daf punk, stt key ingredient. obstruction of justice, that is all it is. it is what got richard nixon. in a way trump is becoming presidential. now in case you don't know, impeachment is the first official step towards removing a president from office, right, which makes it a pretty big deal. such a big deal that the news

can't even say the word. >> the last 24 hours we heared i word a lot. >> up next, thrix word. >> democrats several of them inching closer to the i word. >> you will be hearing that word, the i word. >>mummableing about the i word. >> using the i word. >> are we allowed to say the i word? >> trevor: no, are you not! no! you are not. media people, media people are never allowed to use the i word. oh, but politicians use the i pored all-- i word all the time. i don't care, that is because it is their word to use. yeah, there is a very painful history behind that word for politicians. i don't care if you are friends with a politician t is still not okay for you to use the i word. you don't say it! only politicians. anyway, the point is, this is by far the biggest trump scandal until the next one. like it is by far the biggest, you know, to not acknowledge the gravity of this comey medio you

would have to be woefully ignorant, aggressively ignorant, in fact, you have would to be fox news. because last night watching how fox news reporters on the news of trump asking comey to drop the case against flynn, i mean it was just-- (laughter) for instance, why examine what the current president is doing wrong when you could just keep talking [bleep] about obama. >> if we want to talk about obstruction and saying drop the investigation, let it go, is an obstruction what about president obama publicly saying that hillary clinton had not done anything wrong while the fbi is investigating whether or not she had done something improper. >> it also takes me back to president obama when he comnted in interviews on the irs investigation and said basically there is nothing there. >> james comey who has been in washington for a very long time t sounds like he has been keeping notes on all of his

important conversations. i would also like to see the notes he's got on barack obama. >> >> trevor: i would just love if one day barack obama would be like i got your notes right here. (applause) and by the way, by the way, comey did keep notes on president obama. we actually have one of the notes right here it says, dear diary, another meeting with obama where he didn't on strublght any justice-- obstruct any justice but when he went into for a normal handshake i tried to give him a black guy handshake. the whole thing was really embarrassing. one of the notes. also you know you have a [bleep] case when the best defense you can think of is but what about the other people? like even jared fogel was never like oh, come on like i'm the first guy, huh? let he who is not a pedestrian o fiel cast the first stown, o-w,

o-w, o-w. ettu, cosby, yeah, i guess, i guess, i guess. but randomly, randomly blaming obama was just one way for fox to defend trump. these guys hit every single angle they could find. for instance when trump asked comey to drop the investigation into flynn, well, according to fox news, that could mean anything. >> this morning we're going to be talking about when legal experts say about you know is it obstruction of justice. a lot of people are now saying when he said i hope you can let this g what did he mean exactly. >> when you say you hope for something, it is not a command it is not saying you better do this, it is like i hope i get a bicycle for christmas. i really hope you show up to my birthday party, or i really hope that you won't make loud noise, you know, when i'm sleeping. it seems like it is not a big deal. >> trevor: yo, that guy better pray he never meets up with the mafia. because he clearly doesn't

understand subtext, he will have both knee caps broken going but mr. soprano, you just said you really hoped i could pay you by tuesday. and i couldn't. i couldn't. i don't understand. fox news has so many ways to spin this. they even have the most challenging one which was pretending that instead of believing james total honesty comey we should all trust donald my inauguration crowds are the biggest trump. >> richard burr said somebody has to do more than have anonymous sources on this one for me to believe there's something there. >> when you shot down the notes, is he not-- he is just saying what i think that he said. it might not be verbatim. >> right, seems to be curious as to why this memo what only be surfacing now after he has been fired. >> is there anyone that is watching this anywhere that can believe anything that james comey is saying about any of these matters? >> trevor: yeah, yeah, yeah, a bunch of us, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, because there are only two

people in that room. two people. one of them took notes. the other one is the world's most famous lie are. like forget about lying, forget about lying about what happens in private conversation. trump lies about things we can see. the size of his crowds, the margin of his viblght ree, the real color of his skin. there are two things that donald trump tries to avoid at all costs, the truth and his son eric. we know this. yeah. i believe the guy who took notes. now to some other people on fox, it doesn't even matter whether trump or comey is telling the truth. what really matters is the ratings. >> this is a scandal with no video, with no audio, with no sex, with no money, with no dead bodies. it's a boring scandal. no one knows the deputy ag's name, no one can pronounce the russian defense minister's name. there are memos and which memo and who sent what memo to who.

no one is emotionally invested or can even understand the story. (laughter). >> trevor: i think you are confusing a constitutional crisis with a movie pitch. he sounds like he works in hollywood, no money, no dead bodies, no sex, take this [bleep] to pbs! (applause) come on! i can't work with this. jessie waters mind if he can't jerk off to it than it's not news. last night, every single anchor on fox news what is wa troos lew special in their own way but one man captured the essence of the evening in a way that very few could. in fact, i think he perfectly got to the heart of how fox reacted to the scn dal and really to the entirety of donald trump's presidency. >> the world is a very complicated place, washington especially. what you think is happening often really isn't happening.

>> trevor: what you think is happening often really isn't happening? what are you, white morphia, who are you, man? you know, last night, last night i realized why donald trump loves fox news so much. they are basically his snapchat filter, all right. because whatever the reality s they will always make him look better than he is. yeah. and just like a snap, we are all hoping that he disappears soon. we'll be right back. hi, i'm paul.

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because we should fit into your life, not the other way around. go to xfinity.com/myaccount >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. now while this comey scandal is going on, it's easy to forget the other trump scandal going on. all right? from two long days ago, where the president reportedly gave classified information to russian diplomats in the oval office. now of course no one is sure what was said in that meeting. mostly because the american press was barred. the good news is trump has someone that is coming to his defense, the bad news is it is probably not the person he wants. >> vladimir putin is claiming he can prove president trump did not reveal classified information to those russian officials in the oval office last week. mr. putin is offering to send congress his transkript of the president trump's conversations

with russian foreign minister and ambassador. >> trevor: putin get the [bleep] out of here, man. are you for real, for real? (applause) so you meddled in america's election, fine, but now you have to meddle in the impeachment too, just let america have something for itself. i bet you next week they're going to make him the new first lady. i'll handle this. i'll handle this. i have the figure, i have the figure. you know, you have to say this for donald trump. he is keeping his promise to totally disrupt how government officials do their job. yeah. and not just in the american government. >> because i, dimity ree, have i not seen you since kgb academy. >> dimity ree, so good to see you, here, have drink. >> so, how is-- germany.

>> i have been undercover for ten long years. i have a fake family, i had surgery on my face, my teeth have been replaced by microchips. i have been working as a, how do you say drug whore to gain access for information, a living hell but some day germany's secrets will be mine. but how do you get the americans to give you secrets. >> donald trump tells me. >> this is a trap. >> no, no, it is just a lonely weirdo, hold on. that's him now. hello, mr. big crowd. >> oleg, oleg, you will never guess what we are about to do to china. very secret stuff, come over and i will tell all about it over some ice cream.

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(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show, my guest say leading figure in the national justice reform movement and an author whose new book is called going becoming ms. burton, from prison to recovery to leading the fight for incarcerated women. pleas welcome susan burton. welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: thank you for being here and thank you for sharing this amazing story with us in the book. your memoir, i had two books to read it was this and ivanka trump's. and she lived a tough life, but

you have really dealt with a lot. you have really dealt with a lot. a story of a person not just going into the american prison system, going in and out of prison but then coming out and reforming your life. do you feel lucky every day that you were able to change that narrative? >> i feel very lucky. very grateful, and very blessed that i was able to change america, not only for my invest but for over a thousand women who have been through a new way of life and they have been able to change their narrative because they got basic supports after incarceration. >> trevor: right, and your story is one of, you know, it's a tale that is unfortunately all too common. a story of a person cycling in and out of prison, in and out of prison. in fact, in the book you talk about how one of your prison guards when you were leaving said don't worry, susan, i will keep your bed for you because i know will you be back. >> yes. >> trevor: and it was a joke and it was the truth at the same

time. >> yes. >> trevor: is that something that is all too common. the question is why? >> we invest so much in incarceration but don't invest in rehabilitation and do not invest in reentry. and therefore people leave prison a little worse than when they went in. and broken and unable to rebuild their lives. when i went into prison i had an i.d. when i came out of prison, i didn't have an i.d. t was destroyed. my basic government papers to-- to reenter back into the community. so the guard told me you will be back. and i came back, and i came back and lead women up out of that place. (applause) >> you have a story that is unique in that you didn't just go back but as you say you went

back to help. for critics out there who would say well, susan, you did it, so why is everyone else not doing it, clearly it's just about pulling yourself up and getting it done. >> you know, i went in and out of prison over and over again, someone helped me. and that's how i was able to get on my feet and rebuild my life because i had basic help and support from someone. and with that help, you know, i paid it forward to help others. >> trevor: if we look at the system and you often hear these voices unfortunately asking questions outloud, they say things like why should we spend that money on rehabilitating people when they have broken the law. shouldn't they be in prison. why should the taxpayer pay for them to get their lives to become better. >> so i just want to say why would you incarcerate me over an over and over again because i

turned to substances after an lapd officer killed my son. why wouldn't you offer me counseling and rehabilitation, swi much more cost effective, more cost effective an much more effective than imprisoning me over an over at 60, $70,000 a year. it just doesn't-- it just doesn't add up. and then at the end of the day, i am worse off than when i first went in. and i still need services and rehabilitation. it's kind of backwards. approach to building better, healthier, safer communities. >> trevor: thank you for an amazing story that you tell in that book. and in this book, and thank you for being amazing. we appreciate you. thank you so much. >> (applause) >> thank you.

>> becoming ms. burton is available now. it's an amazing story. susan burton, everybody. we'll be right back.