why did you bring me here, don? i am going to such this nipple. i am going to such this nipple. sucky, sucky. sucky, sucky. hey, get off my tit! fine, don't laugh. more work for the miami sound machine. see you this summer. pick a hand. good night! >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah.

( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. tonight's guest i am so excited to on the show, former presidential senior adviser valerie jarrett is going to be here everybody. we're going to have a great conversation. but let's get into the show. i don't know. what do you guys want to talk about? ( laughter ) oh, i know, the f.b.i. yeah. just in case you decided to spend yesterday in airplane mode, this is what happened. the u.s. justice department had a major shake-up, and not in a fun, vibrating bed kind of way. no, the kind where you're not sure if the house will keep standing. >> stunning late breaking news. president trump has fired james comey as director of the f.b.i. >> trevor: now, i know what you're thinking. why did trump fire comey when

comey basically got him elected? that's why. because trump doesn't want to be president. this is his revenge. that's exactly why he did it. ( cheers and applause ) trump is so angry-- "you gave me this job that i hate. so now you get the worst punishiment that i can think of: more time at home with your family. ( laughter ) may all of your sons be erics." ( laughter ) ( applause ) so, trump fired james comey. the man who happened to be leading the investigation into whether trump's campaign had colluded with russia to win last year's election. the man who as director of the f.b.i. is supposed to be politically independent. almost untouchable. people, i'm not going to sugar coat this. this is bad for democracy. >> president trump's firing of f.b.i. director james comey sending shockwaves through washington. >> only the second time in american history a president has taken that step. >> concerns over constitutional crisis.

>> trump's seismic firing. >> a stunning move. >> a little whiff of of fascism tonight. >> this is like banana republic america. >> you would think this happened in a third world country. the idea that this happened in the united states is stunning. >> this is the kind of thing that goes on in-- >> trevor: africa! just say it! say it! just say it. "this is the kind of thing that only happens in africa!" ( applause ) you don't have to use euphemisms: banana republic or third world. just say it! we don't beat around the bush where i come from. because we have animals in the bush. if you beat the bush, then they come out. you don't mess around with beating the bush. you know what i don't get? i don't get why people still say, "this could never happen in america." isn't this the place where anything is possible? yes. that's what i was told. so even africa is possible in america. first ,it's dictator trump, and pretty soon bono is going to be throwing benefit concerts for the u.s ( laughter )

now, trump claims, he claims that the firing happened because comey treated hillary unfairly during the email investigation. >> audience: boo! >> trevor: oh, you guys, you don't believe him? you don't believe him? i mean, come on, guys. it doesn't make any sense. that would be like returning a flashlight because your orgasms are too powerful. "it was too good! too good!" ( applause ) because when james comey reopened the hillary investigation a week before the election, basically taking a huge dump on the shot at the white house, no one was a bigger fan of that decision than donald trump. >> it took guts for director comey to make the move that he made in light of the kind of opposition he had. he brought back his reputation. he brought it back. he's got to hang tough because there are a lot of-- a lot of people want him to do the wrong thing. what he did was the right thing. >> trevor: "which is why i'm going to fire him for it. ( laughter ) i fire people who do the right thing!

it's why all my businesses succeed." ( laughter ) ( applause ) i'm sorry, but that-- ( cheers ) that's straight-up (bleep). and the administration also says that comey's firing wasn't just trump's idea, but it was recommended by attorney general jeff sessions, which is also (bleep). because back when comey did the things that he presumably just got fired for, sessions was team comey, too. >> he had an absolute duty, in my opinion, 11 days or not, to come forward with the new information that he has and let the american people know that, too. you know, f.b.i. director comey did the right thing. when he found new evidence, he had no choice. >> trevor: sneaky little liar! i-- i just-- i hate him so-- i wish jeff sessions had stayed at his old job. i'm just going to put it out there.

( cheers and applause ) i-- but, you know, like, you don't need to be a genius to figure out why trump really canned comey. it rhymes with russia. >> mounting evidence suggests that comey was fired because of the president's irritation with the f.b.i.'s russia investigation. >> "the new york times" now reporting comey had asked for more resources for the investigation into russia just days before he was fired. >> cnn sources say comey's firing comes as subpoenas went out for associates of michael flynn. >> trevor: that's right, michael flynn, again. who would have thought this guy would turn out to be trump's most costly divorce? who would have thought? ( laughter ) so comey wasn't just any old bureaucrat who trump fired. trump fired comey just as comey was starting to actively investigate trump's people, which you've got to admit, makes trump look hella suspicious, right?

that's like breaking up with your your girlfriend right after she asks you if she can look at your phone. ( laughter ) "hey, honey, can i see your phone? "i don't think we should be together anymore." "what?" ( applause ) "what are you talking about? i just wanted to see your phone." "yeah, it's a normal phone. we've been growing apart. you're fired." ( laughter ) do you remember-- do you remember how when trump was elected, everyone was worried because he showed autocratic tendencies? do you remember that? well, this is what the people were worried about. because before this, it was scary, but it was still talk: threatening the press, delegitimizing judges, that mussolini face that he always makes. ( laughter ) but what we're seeing here is a the difference between words and actions. in fact, the difference between saying (bleep) the police and actually trying to (bleep) the police, there's a big difference. ( applause )

and here's what makes this particularly scary: in america, you specifically have checks and balances for this reason. so if a president makes a dubious decision like this, you could trust congress to step in and do something about it. "trump, we don't know if you've done the right thing. we're going to call in witnesses, hire a special prosecutor," et cetera. et cetera. that's what happened in watergate. but this congress has shown they have no intention of holding the president accountable. >> it's, obviously, within the president's authority and role to do this. i think he made an important command decision. >> i think the firing of comey couldn't have come soon enough. >> today, we'll no doubt hear calls for a new investigation, which could only serve to impede the current work. >> they're talking about the firing was nixonian. it has echoes of watergate. for the people who are writing those headlines, what's your message to them? >> my message is suck it up and move on.

>> trevor: oh. yeah, and the people at fox news were like, "ha! that's our slogan. ah. ah." ( laughter ) here's the thing-- here's the thing. democracies don't go away in a flash, right. people need to get that into their minds. you don't just wake up one morning and tanks are rolling through the street. that's not how it works. it's a slow burn with many steps along the way. and this is a big step. without congress to rely on, comey was the one person we trusted to be unbiased. whether you liked or hated his decisions, it didn't feel like he was on anyone's side. but now he's out. and with him, so is the people's hopes of holding trump accountable. comey basically packed the hopes up in his box along with his work toothbrush. a lot of people are distraught by this decision. the other people are russians. >> russia's foreign minister is sitting down with the u.s. secretary of state right now. here's what sergei lavrov had to say when reporters asked him about comey's firing. >> has the comey firing cast a

shadow over your talks? >> was he fired? >> yes. >> you're kidding. you're kidding. >> he was fired. >> trevor: "you're kidding. no, really, you're kidding. who could have predicted such a crazy thing, that we ordered your president to do. ha-ha! you're kidding. you're kidding." look, i know it's probably a coincidence, but how bizarre is it that tillerson just happened to meet with the russian foreign minister today? what's even weirder is that trump also had a meeting with his counterpart. ♪ ♪ >> master. you'll be pleased to know i've done your bidding, so much bidding, the best bidding. (laughter) >> trevor: we'll be right back.

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." now, the firing of f.b.i. director comey was not only a bad day for america. it was also a really bad day for james comey. i mean, if he had to choose between yesterday and a day where he got kicked hard in the dick, i'm pretty certain he will pick dick kick every single time. it's not just that he got fired. it's how he got fired. >> the firing of james comey surprised nobody more than comey himself, who learned of it when he saw the news on television. >> audience: ooooh! >> trevor: man, that's heartless. trump left "the apprentice," but he's still firing people on tv. ( laughter ) and i bet trump's advisers were like, "sir, he can't learn about this on tv." and trump was like, "why not? that's where i learn everything.

why not?" ( cheers and applause ) so it's bad enough-- it's bad enough that comey found out he was being fired on live tv, but to add insult to injury, the reason he was in los angeles was to speak to potential f.b.i. recruits. which is so cruel. he's going to be in a room saying that the f.b.i. is hiring, as he's getting fired. ( laughter ) that's like if a waiter came out and found out that he was a cow, as he was recommending the t. bone steak. "you want to go with-- oh! oh!" ( applause ) oh, and-- oh, and, by the way, those recruits are not messing around. >> we did speak to some of the recruits that were coming in for this event. >> i just think it's interesting how it happened today of all days. um, you know, i'm not sure if that was a strategic move by whomever.

it's just-- it's an opportunity for others in the agency to move on up, honestly. >> trevor: damn, lady! the body's not even cold, and you're already thinking about your moves? yo, i would hate to see her give a eulogy. "we're all sad about fred's passing, and if there's one thing i can say about fred it's-- dibs on his car!" ( laughter ) but that's not all. that's not all. because if getting fired on tv from across the country in front of a bunch of bloodthirsty, low-level recruits isn't bad enough, comey then has his walk of shame nationally televised. >> breaking news, this is the 405 south, and this is-- this is the motorcade with fired f.b.i. director james comey. we're tracking it right now. >> colleen, this is, as you said, the 405 south. he's approaching the venice boulevard exit, continuing in heavy traffic here. they didn't really pick up speed until they got to the 105 freeway.

that 405 south was rather slow. >> trevor: why does it feel like l.a. news was less concerned about the dismantling of american democracy and more concerned about their afternoon commute? democracy is crumbling all around us, but this real disaster is the backup on the 405. i'm sorry, man, this is such a (bleep), embarassing day for james comey. because on top of all of this, there was a possibility that the weren't going to let him fly home on the f.b.i. jet. yeah. you don't think about that. but it's possible. the poor guy would have had to fly coach and then pull a bow wow on instagram. ( laughter ) ( applause ) luckily, though-- ( cheers and applause ) luckily, luckily, they did let him go home in the jet. unluckily, he still had to let us all watch. >> there must have been a bit of negotiating going on, because after being fired, he could have been sent back to fly on a commercial airline.

>> within, literally, 10 or 15 seconds, he was from the s.u.v. and in the private jet. >> i believe we have a live picture right now of that jet taxiing at l.a.x. >> the plane, as you can see on the runway, taking off right now. >> yes, he is airborne. >> trevor: i'm sorry, how far are you going to follow that plane? ( laughter ) it looked like they were going to follow him into his house "and now here he is crying at his bed." let the man be! that's how great his day was. it was watergate and the o.j. chase combined. and like, o.j., it's all because of what he did to one blonde woman. we'll be right back ♪ ♪since i came to know you baibe ♪i've been telling you how sweet you're.♪ ♪i've been telling you how good you're.♪ ♪please tell me how i look.

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight was the longest serving senior adviser to president barack obama. please welcome valerie jarrett. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you! wow. whooo! you all are awake tonight! my goodness! how is everybody doing? ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: they're doing good. they're doing good now that you're here. welcome to the show. you know, any day would be a pleasure having you as a guest.

today in particular, though. >> you're on fire. i've been listening to you backstage. >> trevor: thank you very much. thank you very much. there is much to be on fire about. ( laughter ) let's jump straight into it. ( applause ) let's jump straight into it. "the new york times" is reporting that just before f.b.i. director james comey was fired, he asked the d.o.j. for more resources. you know, this was an investigation that was clearly about russia's meddling. what do you make of the latest developments? >> well, every time i turn on the news today, there's a new development. it's kind of hard to keep up with everything going on, right? so this is what i would say to you. look, our democracy is founded on the rule of law, and a part-- an important part of that rule of law is we have an independent f.b.i. we have an independent justice department. and, in fact, when i had the honor of working in the white house and traveled with president obama all around the world, uniformly, we heard that the united states was the beacon of hope for that democracy. so it's not just important to the american people.

everybody's watching us. and so my hope is that the replacement for comey is somebody who has integrity and character and a track record of demonstrating that they are an independent thinker and actor. and i hope that that person is-- has the opportunity to appear before the appropriate committees in congress, in the senate, and make a good case. and that we, the american people, have a chance to listen and watch. >> trevor: you worked with the president for so many years. president barack obama. and it's no secret that james comey's views and president barack obama's views differed at times, especially towards the election and the end of the campaign. when you look back at that, did barack obama have full confidence in james comey? >> look, what the president believes in is that it is important, once you've selected somebody and you put them in place in the justice department or in the f.b.i., you have to give them wide berth because that's part of what independence

means. and so you should select very carefully on the front end. and there were times, perhaps, when we may not have agreed with the decisions they made, but it's important you have the independence. that you cannot have political interference. it's also important when you have a new nominee coming forward that you get to ask those questions all over again, right? and that's what i'm looking forward to seeing as the new nominee for the f.b.i. comes forward. we should all be encouraging our representatives to do that. >> trevor: looking at obamacare. president obama said it wasn't perfect. it was like a starter home. what would you do going forward if you were to suggest something to the senate? >> we need to make sure throughout the country people have the opportunity to have affordable here. i never understood why that was so controversial. what's wrong with affordable health care for all americans, right? ( applause ) and we need to make sure that young people understand the importance of having health care. often tiementz they think they will not get sick and they do.

they get in car accidents. and we need to make sure that the pool is a strong pool. so i think that there probably were steps that we could take and could still take to make sure insurance is offered absolutely everywhere. but let's make no mistake. the bill that passed the house, that would take health care away from 25 million folks, or the ones-- and we still haven't heard the full impact of it, because, keep in mind, it wasn't scored. and what that means is that the congressional budget office hasn't figured out what the true impact is. >> trevor: right. >> so i'm saying that number based on the one they considered several weeks ago. why would they vote on something without actually knowing the impact it's going to have on you and me and our budget, right? ( applause ). >> trevor: if you-- i mean, the president is now back in the fray, in a certain way. you know, he's come back from kite surfing and-- >> vacation. don't you think he deserved a little bit of a break after eight years? >> trevor: no, he deserved all the vacation. ( applause ) it's like seeing your ex having a great time. that's how it was for many people.

( laughter ) and so-- and so barack obama came back. he said in many ways he does not want to lead a resistance but create more barack obamas. what does that mean? >> what he said is if he feels our core value values are being threatened he will speak out. so the first time he did that, through a spokesman, was about the travel ban, which he thought was inconsistent with our core values. he did it again about the affordable care act, which he thinks it's important that 20 million people have health care who didn't have it before and that everyone is protected against pre-existing conditions and women can get preventive care and other services, right, without a co-pay. all that's very important. but what he's really looking forward to, he and the first lady, is building their new obama center, which is going to be a platform in chicago, south part of chicago, our home town. ( applause ) chicago's in the house, right? where we can really bring together people to focus on the big problems, the big challenges that we still have that lie ahead. and use civic engagement to

empower the next generation to solve those problems. and our elected representatives, the tools we have with them, that no one can take away from you is your right to vote. and we need to vote and get ready for that right now. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: i could talk to you all night. thank you so much for being on the show. valerie jarrett, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) it's the applebee's big bold grill combos. try a chicken combo, combo'd with a ribs combo. it's the combo of combos. combo'd two meats, two sides. the big bold grill combos. starting at $12.99. only at applebee's. we built the most99. powerful solar array at any one brewery in the country. producing twenty-two million beers each year, powered by the sun. coors light. whatever your mountain, climb on. ♪ doto be our next spokesperson?m seems like a good fit. but he's so boring. i'm yawning

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zen. >> now your white house is saying that what we did was wrong, but previously, as a candidate, donald trump was saying it was the right thing. >> you're comparing two things that don't belong together. thanks for the trip down memory lane. i was on your show often last fall saying we were going to win mich >> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight and i still don't know which girl from girls i am! we have been on hiatus for ten days. that's a long time to not