- that's it. no more pictures. time to die. - no, please. i'm sorry i gave other people credit for your killings. it was very wrong of me to lie about the other psychics and get them arrested. - your hand will be one with the others. - please just let me go. i'm gonna tell everyone i'm not really psychic. i've learned my lesson! please, i don't want to-- i don't want to have to use my psychic mind missile on you! doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo! - hold it right there, killer! - [growls] [gunshots] [gunshot] [gunshot] - you got here just in time. he was gonna kill me because he was insanely jealous of my incredible psychic ability. - well, young man, you did an amazing thing. not only did your psychic visions help us catch the killer, but a lot of innocent people are out of jail. - yes, thank you very much, kyle. - yes, thanks. - you're certainly a better psychic than eric. - no, don't you see? cartman never had psychic visions.

and neither do these people. the plain simple truth is that nobody is psychic. there's a logical explanation for every psychic story you've ever heard. - do you think that's true? - it must be true. the kid is psychic. but i don't suppose it really matters much, because in the end, the way i caught the killer was with good old-fashioned police work. come on, murphy. - well, young man, i guess that just leaves one score to settle. - you can't hurt me. - then let this be our final battle. [all imitating spacey sound effects] - oh, stop it! stop it! [electricity buzzes] [glass shatters] there's a logical explanation for that. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tuning in! i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight here to talk about her new book actress gabourey sidibe is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) as you know, it was another category 4 (bleep) storm today from president trump, and we will get to that. but first, the world is still reeling from the giant cyberattack that shut people's computers down and, now, a new hack is threatening one of america's most treasured institutions. >> hackers are reportedly

holding disney's new film "pirates of the caribbean: dead men tell no tales" hostage. the options, fork over a large amount of cash or the hackers will release the film before it hits theaters in ten days. so far r far, we're told disney isn't biting. >> trevor: oh, no... ( laughter ) pirates of the "pirates of the caribbean" ( laughter ) i feel like this time the hackers went too far because they forgot mickey mouse is a bad-ass. you don't get to the top of the cartoon world without breaking a few brooms. he was probably on the phone like liam neeson -- (mickey voice) i'm going to find you! i have a particularly set of skills! woo-hoo! how are you going to hold a movie ransom they made four different times? seriously, you're going to try the with the fifth movie? you hold the first one, not the fifth one. it's like if you're holding

someone for ransom, take ivanka, not eric. come on, people! keep up, mickey mouse is coming for you! he's coming! ( applause ) speaking of cartoonish characters who are more dangerous than you think, the news once again is focused on president trump. this evening we heard he personally asked former f.b.i. chief james comey to end his investigation into former national security advisor michael flynn and his ties to russia. i will say, i hope the republicans new healthcare system is good because i'm getting whiplash from all the scandals. he did what? wait, what? again? who said -- aaaaaa! ( laughter ) we'll get into that tomorrow after trump gives us the real story at 3:00 a.m. on twitter. ( applause ) but let's move on and talk about what we learned yesterday. yesterday, we learned trump had, himself, apparently told national security secrets to russians, and we look at the fallout in our recurring

segment, moscow in the meddle. ♪ ♪ >> trevor: so here's what we know. last week, president trump pet with russian diplomats and reportedly told them classified information about an i.s.i.s. terror plot, and we know that that information came from a foreign ally who did not want the u.s. to share it with the russians because they know you don't want russians in your business. how are we not getting this? no one wants russians getting information. doesn't matter what the information is. it could be a surprise party your friend told you about. if you tell the russians, it's not going to end well. your friend will wash up on the beach without his head and you will be, like, but this had nothing to do with the russians! and the russians will be, like, well, yeah, why take the risk? you never know, you never know! (in russian accent) you said you

want surprise, now you're surprised. ( laughter ) don't get me wrong, everyone goes sips. it's fun and as every high school freshman knows it makes you popular and super cool. the problem is when the president goes sips, the stakes can be pretty high. >> outrage in washington and beyond over new records president trump may have revealed highly classified information during his oval office meeting with russian officials. >> what president trump has done has betrayed that core premise that allows us to have relationships around the world. the real danger beyond infuriating this close ally is our friends and partners will think once, twice, maybe they won't share information with us at all. >> we rely on our allies around the world to give us information. if we can't show at the highest levels of government that we can be trusted to safeguard that information, then we jeopardize our access to that information. >> trevor: that's right. trump is basically, like, the one guy who didn't know that

what happens in vegas stays in vegas and, instead, the second he got home, he posts all the pictures on instagram and then, like, tags you and your wife in it and, guess what, now i'm divorced, bryan! ( laughter ) this is where we see the whole idea of trump is a lie, even by his own standards, all right? he's complete (bleep). what did trump preach? protecting america from terrorism at all costs. and how does america do that? by gathering and acting on very sensitive and confidential information from friends and allies around the world. what's going to happen now? america's going to get shut out because no one can trust the president not to spill their secrets whenever he has his friends come over for a play date. and here's how you know the story is a big deal -- for the first time, since the election, republican leaders seem to be having buyers' remorse. >> republican senator bob corker, a trump supporter,

telling journalists the white house is in a downward spiral. >> senator susan collins quipped to reporters, can we have a crisis free day? that's all i'm asking. >> well, if it's true, it's disturbing, obviously. it's not a good thing. ( laughter ) >> trevor: it's not -- it's not -- it's not a good thing. ( laughter ) you don't think it's so bad when you're describing your president's actions the way you're describing the love child on a childless couple. i'm a victim of my culture, people! ( laughter ) the highest ranking member of the trump administration, he also jumped to trump's defense. of course,ip talking about fndz. yes? they've fallen back on the excuse that they give every time damaging information leaks about trump. fix these dang leaks! >> i have a message for those who work in that house, the white house, enough with the

self-serving leaks. >> the leaks inside this administration are hurting both their functioning and the security of this country. >> whoever's leaking at the "the washington post," what they're doing is even worse! >> trevor: baby, it's not about me cheating on you, it's that it's told. we've got to find the leaks, baby! ( applause ) leaks are not the biggest problem here. if there was blood dripping down from the apartment above me, my main concern wouldn't be patching the ceiling. it would be what the (bleep) is that creep doing up there in 12b?! so here we are once again, people. the eternal question -- is trump incompetent or did he purposefully collude with the russians to give them information? nobody knows. i do have a theory, though. i have a theory. i do think the reason donald trump loves the russians is because their accent reminds him

of melania. ( laughter ) yeah. so after the russians left the oval office, he probably called melania, like, "hello, current wife. i just talked to your dad, tremendous guy, great guy, told him all of america's secrets ." and melania is, "for the last tiernlingsively slovenian. ." >> "yeah, big russians, little russians, got it. by the way, another one of your dads just walked in. when are you moving into is it -- hello? hello? okay, love you, bye ." >> trevor: for more, we're joined by senior political analyst jordan klepper, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) jordan, hey, a lot of people are surprised by this new information. >> well, they shouldn't be. mork voted for a guy with no

government experience. that was the appeal. he's an outsider, literally right now he's probably outside the white house trying to remember the door code. >> trevor: okay, i'll go with you on that, jordan. people want a change, yes, but positive change. they wanted someone to do away with politics and speak for the common man. >> have you talked to the common pan, trevor? ask him to keep one of your secrets. i gave roy my netflix log in, now i have 15 strangers streaming billions on my dime. >> billions is show "time" -- >> that's elitism talk that has no place in trump's offers. he is the common man president and the common man likes juicy gossip, like when you told me you take your shirt off when you take a (bleep). >> trevor: why would you bring that up? >> it's cool. i'm not going to tell anyone. ( laughter ) the point is -- that is, true, by the way. i'm not going to tell anybody that's what he does.

( laughter ) having a total outsider in the white house is fun. americans love watching amateurs perform. ncaa, porn hub, u porn, red tube, x video -- >> trevor: jordan, you can stop. >> then why am i going to therapy? it's a crippling addiction. >> trevor: jordan, seriously, common, man. there is some intel that needs to be kept secret for national security. >> yes, you're absolutely right. you don't want secrets falling into the hands of suspicious characters. >> trevor: like russia. >> no, like trump. you heard what the national security advisor said. there were some secrets trump couldn't have given away because nobody told him what they were. >> trevor: yeah, but how can they not tell him everything? he's the president. >> make up your mind, trevor. do you want an ignorant president or one that gives all our secrets to russia? >> trevor: what about a competent president? >> don't be ridiculous. the fact is, america voted for a rollercoaster, so buckle up, people, because we're only ten feet off the clicky part.

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correspondent ronny chieng with a segment we call "today's future now." ♪ ♪ >> thanks, trevor. with we have been promised three things since the 1950s, meals in pill form, healthy cigarettes and racial segregation -- i mean flying cars. one of the things finally arrived. >> are you ready for flying cars in uber said they will have flying electric taxies by 2020. they will be showing them off in real life. they go up and down like a helicopter. >> really? uber has trouble finding us on the ground. now we're going to trust them in the sky? why would i trust someone flying around as a side gig? ( laughter ) i don't want my pilot to be the guy who's in between jobs, okay? forget uber. i want a flying car i can drive myself. guess what? that's happening, too. >> tired of traffic on the daily commute? just jump in the flying car and leave the congestion behind.

some companies report they're getting much closer. a sloa vo vackian slovacian comy unveiled -- >> no, i wouldn't want to get in a slovakian car let alone flying car. if you asked me what technology they were working on -- i don't know, sheep. show us what you've got. >> a slovakian company unveiled one flying car, reported by setting you back more tan a mill bucks. >> it drives 435 miles at 99 miles an hour and takes three minutes to transform from a regular car to a plane. you also need a pilots' license and, darn it, you can't take off from highways. >> pretty cool, but that's not a flying car, it's a plane. you can't just call things cars. a submarine isn't an underwater car. just like a roller skate isn't a

foot car. and a horse isn't a car that (bleep) on the street. okay. ( laughter ) science, isn't there a flying car that doesn't require a pilots license and runway? >> check this out. this is a prototype for a flying car made by an aerospace engineer company called kitty hawk. the open-seated, 220-pound vehicle is powered by eight battery powered propellers to soar across the skies. >> two things. one, that looks super cool. two, everyone is going to die. everybody. the pilot's going to die, the friend waiting beneath the propellers so they'll turn, that guy will die. and you will hit a lake to spread your ashes all over it. very convenient. you are thinking how will they convince people to get in this death trap. a slick commercial. ( ringing ) >> hey, what are you up to?

>> getting ready for dinner. mark invited a few friends over. >> how nice. i'd love to see you. >> want to join us? maybe you can bring the boat over. >> i have something better in mind. i'll see you in two minutes. ♪ ♪ >> so, basically, rich people are sitting around thinking, mmm, we've got motor boats, jet skis, what's another way we can be giant assholes on the lake? ( laughter ) by the way, you live in a beautiful house next to the beautiful mountains on a beautiful lake and that's not enough for you? you, like, have to be hovering ten feet above it all like a god? when can you just admit you'll never be happy? ( applause ) okay? you don't need a flying car! ( cheers and applause ) what you need is to put on some cement shoes and go walk into

that lake, okay? you're trying to buy your way out of a deep, dark pit of sadness in your soul and it's never going to work! and that is today's future now! i'm ronny chieng! back to you, trevor! >> trevor: ronny chieng, everyone. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause )

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for supple, hydrated skin. hydro boost. from neutrogena ♪ ♪ give extra. get extra. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to the "the daily show." my guest tonight is an academy-award nominated actor and author whose new book is "this is just my face: try not to stare." please welcome gabourey sidibe! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me! >> trevor: i'm so glad you came. i watched you so many times and

you're, like, no. >> over brunch i was, like, no. >> trevor: thank you for being here finally. i'm glad i could convince you. your name is gabourey sidibe and my name is trevor noah. i was born in africa and you were born in new york. i feel like our names were switched at birth. >> yeah, why is my name more african than yours? >> trevor: i feel like i should go home and be like, yo, mom, come on. something. give me something. >> you've got to argue with her. got to. her name should be baratunde. >> trevor: that sounds great. i like that name. i'm going to start talk -- calling myself that. >> baratunde noah! >> trevor: that's going to be it. ( applause ) can i just say, i know everyone wants to talk to you about "precious," but for me, i've got

to get into this book. i did not expect this book to be as funny and at the same time as honest as it has been. i know when i was writing my book, i felt it. but i wonder, what is the one thing you got from writing your own book? >> okay, so i think that -- i got a lot of things. a lot of the opinions that i have about, like, my parents, my family, the entire world, i made up when i was six. i was, like, at six years old, i was, like, dad, i got you. the last time i was in synagogue i was six years old and i was like, i know what senegal is. what i got from the book is the about the to make opinions about my entire world as a grownup. >> trevor: it comes through in the book. you tell different stories i never knew about. for instance, you worked in a call center specifically for -- you were a phone sex worker. >> i was a phone sex worker, yeah. >> trevor: all right. ( cheers and applause ) now, i mean, everyone will be

interested in the phone sex part of it, but i was more intrigued by how you weren't allowed to sound black on the calls, etch though 95% of the women who worked in the job were black. >> yeah, i make the joke that you think you're calling megyn fox and you're calling precious instead because, yeah, everyone looked like me. but you generally -- we did not hire people, women that could not make their voices sound white because the average caller is a white man who watches tv all day and he wants to call the girl he sees on tv, which happens to be a white woman. so if you don't -- but there are also calls you can call for a spanish girl, asian girl or black girl. >> trevor: so you just switch your voice? >> yes, and i was the worst at black girl calls because they were racist. ( laughter ) because this is my voice, this is my face, and i don't -- so

the guys would call and want me to sound blacker than my voice is. they want me to cut my words in half and ain't me to say, ain't. they'd ask racist questions, like, you don't sound black. i would say, that's weird baud i am. they would say, i'll give you taste. how do you feel about watermelon. and i'm, like, what?! i kept getting in trouble. >> trevor: oh, man! reading through the book, you tell all these stories. you share some of your darkest secrets and the tell it in a fun way. it's a rollercoaster journey. when you talk about your family, though, what kills me is how uh you talk about your name, right. you say how people can't pronounce gabourey for some reason. they come up with weird pronuns pronunciations. >> here's how you pronounce my name -- and i make it easy for

saying gabourey rimes with cabaret. ( laughter ) they would mispronounce it, and i would say, no! i have flashbacks. i got real hot in my chest about it. i'm sorry. >> trevor: it's a beautiful story, an amazing book. i'm excited for you. do you think you're going to turn this into a movie? >> oh, snap! are you trying to be down? >> trevor: yeah. >> baratunde! >> trevor: oh, "this is just my face" is available