tv The Daily Show Comedy Central June 22, 2017 1:40am-2:11am PDT
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nundrum for canadians everywhere as we try to figure out who to root for. for that, let's ask the minister of sports in edmonton. well, of course, the patriotic thing to do would be to root for the canadian devil. but then again, he is the one who has promised us pain and servitude for a million years. screw that! go, canada! enough, beelzaboot. thy end has come! [ fwoosh! ] [ people screaming ] [ whoosh! ] [ fwoosh! ] hey, dude. hey. you all right? yeah. yeah, i think i'm gonna be okay. cool. [ cheers and applause ] my fellow canadians, what we do now as a country will hopefully be a model for others. we have all learned a tragic lesson together that though many sins are out there, when you get involved with freemium gaming, you are making a deal with the canadian devil. we will no longer make freemium games, and we will no longer make improvements to our country
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with money taken from addicts. canada is back to being an ethical, respected, shitty tundra. [ cheers and applause ] i'm gonna move here and here, and then i'm gonna roll to kill this zombie. okay, good idea. what are you gaywods doing? we're playing board games so that grandpa avoids the casino and i avoid freemium apps. well, all right. good for you guys. tell you what, i'll join you. board games go good with a glass of wine. that's not a glass. that's a trophy. that you won... for drinking. it's not "drinking." it's called a wine zinfandel sipping sprint, and it's competitive. get off your high [bleep] horse. your turn, grandpa. if you roll a five or six, you can kill these zombies. you guys want to put some money on it? [ thud! ] comedy central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah.
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, here to talk about his new album, "the nashville sound," jason isbell is here, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) really excited for that. but first, news coming out of the shark world. >> michael phelps is fast. but can he outswim a shark? the discovery channel says the olympic legend will help kick off its eight-day "shark week" marathon by racing a great white-- a great white. >> trevor: man, white people are having a good time. ( laughter ) now, can michael phelps beat the shark? no, the answer is no, no. if a shark stops swimming, it literally dies. if michael phelps stops swimming he's just a tall guy with weird arms. there is no race. like, this is just a stupid stunt. it's not a real race.
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if you really want to get me interested, you know what you do? have the shark and michael phelps in the same water. no barrier, yeah, two great whites enter. only one will emerge. ( laughter ) that's what i want to watch. ( applause ) and who knows? who knows? you may be surprised. afterwards, people will be like, "wow, i can't believe michael phelps ate the shark. wow!" ( laughter ) my money is on the shark winning, mostly because this race is to promote "shark week." so this is, like, full pressure on the shark. ( laughter ) it has to win. it can't lose to a human on "shark week." that would be so embarrassing. that would be like if lebron got dunked on by jeff sessions during black history month. that would be the most embarrassing thing ever. ( laughter ) ( applause ) so money's on the shark. but let's move on. let's move on, because i don't know if you heard, but last night, the democratic party ended forever. >> breaking news this morning, a
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major blow to democrats. >> in georgia karen handel beat jon ossoff in the most extensive house race ever. >> a big blow per democrats who are bitterly divide. >> so this is not the outcome any of us were hoping for. >> no! >> no way! >> 2018! >> but this is the beginning of something much bigger than us. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: politicians have to be so upbeat when they lose. i wish one of them would be like, "i lost? (bleep)! everything sucks, man! this is (bleep)! i'll be at home eating spaghettios over the sink." >> this house seat has been in republican hands since newt gingrich was elected 40 years ago. >> all politics is local. handel ran a race that was tailored to this district. jon ossoff is a guy who worked for al jazeera and doesn't live
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in the district. that was never a match. >> trevor: right, so this was a republican stronghold. he didn't live in the district. it could have even been he looked so young. ossoff looked less like a politician and more like he should be bike around looking for the upside down. but, people, let's be honest here. there's a more obvious reason why democrats haven't won by running against trump. you see, democrats are clearly living in a bubble, where they think it's obvious to everyone that trump is bad. so even though trump has only been president for 150 days, to a democrat, it feels like 150 years. what you don't realize is that trump's presidency isn't even a toddler yet. even though it sounds like one, it isn't. ( laughter ) so, to think that trump supporters would at this point be fed up with him, like, it's just not realistic. time is relative. you realize that. as a democrat, it's like, it's been forever. he's messing up. when you're not having a good time, time lasts forever. right now, the democrats are the designated driver at the club who is not drinking. you have ever done that?
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have you ever spent the whole night at the club sober. you will see how long a night can feel. you are standing there like (bleep)! this is what we do now?" we're just standing here waving our arms for six hours? but when you're drinking, you're like, "what, do you mean we're closing? oh, my god, have we been here for a week? wow, time flies." those are trump supporters. and for them, it's only 1:00 a.m. in the club. >> trump hasn't actually done anything to anybody. we have to just give him a chance to-- and i hate to use this vernacular-- but drain the swamp. >> we're now in the middle of june. give me a word or phrase to describe donald trump. >> i would say honest. >> productive. >> tough s.o.b. >> a lot of people are calling in and bashing trump, and the guy has been in less than six months. give the guy a chance. >> trevor: now, i know what you're thinking-- yes, trump has black supporters. ( laughter ) but, secondly, you have to admire the optimism of these people. they see what trump is doing, but they're still like, "i know it looks bad, but give him a chance."
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like, if there was an earthquake, "these are the same people who book saying, "hold on! hold on. we don't know where this is going. hold on. not yet. it might shake the stuff back on to the shelves. hold on! hold on! you never know! you never know! hold on! give it a chance! give it a chance." ( applause ) now, i'm not saying democrats won't win in 2018 or that they need to change their message, necessarily. i'm just saying that it might be too early for trump's people to make a judgment about him. trump has still got that new president smell for them. yeah, i mean, it smells like hair spray and taco bowls, but it's still new for them, still new. now, speaking of things that don't seem to change, yesterday on the show, we spoke about the killing of philando castile, right, and the verdict that exonerated th police officer who shot him. and, honestly, i thought that i felt all i could feel about this story until i got home, and i
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watched a newly released video. and if you have already watched this video, you don't have to watch it again. i wouldn't say anyone has to watch this video, but if you haven't seen it, it is graphic, and you probably should watch it. and we're going to play it for you now. >> authorities have released dashcam video revealing the chilling moments that led to a police officer shooting and killing philando castile during a traffic stop last year in minnesota. the video comes just four days after a jury found the police officer not guilty of manslaughter. >> you have your license and registration? >> sir, i have to tell you, i do have a firearm on me. >> okay, don't reach for it then. don't pull it out. don't pull it out! ( gunshots ) (bleep). >> did you just kill my boyfriend! he wasn't reaching. >> don't pull it out! >> he wasn't. >> don't move! >> oh, man. >> (bleep)! this is-- >> oh, my god. oh, my god! >> don't move!
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>> oh, my god! >> don't move! >> oh, my god! i'm shaking! >> don't move. >> don't move, baby. >> code three! get the baby girl out of here! oh, (bleep). >> trevor: i won't lie to you. when i watched this video, it broke me. it just-- it broke me. you see so many of these videos, and you start to get numb, but this one, seeing the child, that little girl, getting out of the car, after watching a man get killed, it broke my heart into little pieces. like, i thought of every joke people make about "oh, the most confusing day in the 'hood is father's day-- people don't know where their parents are, haha. black dads." that's a black dad that's gone. that's a child that grows up not knowing what it's like to have somebody in their life. like, you watch that video, and you know-- you know what's the-- you know what's the most painful thing? for years, for years, people
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said that there's a simple solution to police shootings. just give the police body cameras. film everything. then there will be no question about what happens. yeah. and black people have already taken that initiative. thanks to cell phones, every black person has a body cam now. black people have been saying for years, "just give us-- just give us an indictment, just an indictment. get us in front of a jury, in front of a jury of our peers, of our fellow citizens. we'll show them the video, the evidence, and then they will see it, and justice will be served." and black people finally get there, and it's like, "what, what? nothing?" you hear the stories, but you watch that, and-- forget race. are we all watching the same video? the video where a law-abiding man followed the officer's instructions to the letter of the law and was killed regardless. people watch that video and then voted to acquit? and the saddest thing is that wasn't the only video that they watched.
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>> you told him to get his i.d., sir, his driver's license. >> keep your hands where they are! >> yes, i will, sir. i will keep my hands where they are. please, officer, don't tell me that you just did this to him. you shot four bullets into him, sir. >> trevor: "you shot four bullets into him, sir." it's (bleep) mind blowing that diamond reynolds has just seen her boyfriend shot in front of her. she still has the presence of mind to be deferential to the policeman. in that moment, the cop has panicked, but, clearly, black people never forget their training. still, in that moment, the black person is saying, "sir, i respect you, sir. i understand what i need to do, sir." the same thing philando castile did. but still, according to the law, the jury had to make a decision. that decision is, "do you think this policeman was justified in thinking that his life was in danger?" and their opinion, having watched that video, having listened to that exchange, they still said, "yes, yes, i can see why that cop was afraid." but why? let's be honest.
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just why? why would they say he was afraid? was it because philando castile was being polite? was it because he was following the officer's instructions? was it because he was in the car with his family? or was it because philando castile was black? it's one thing to have the system against you-- the district attorneys, the police unions, the courts-- that's one thing. but when a jury of your peers, your community, sees this evidence and decides that even this is self-defense, that is truly depressing. because what they're basically saying is in america, it is officially reasonable to be afraid of a person just because they are black. and that's the truth of what we saw with this verdict. saw with this verdict. we'll be right back. i may be dead, but let me tell myou one last thing.d! get the new ipad pro! it has the powerful a10x fusion chip,
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so you won't miss me at all! thanks ghost computer. whoops, forgot my power-cord, coming back down. it's a lightly fruit heflavored, low carb,g. spiked sparkling water. so now you can make the ultra light choice. henry's hard sparkling. the ultra light choice. well you're really gonna hate the new ipad pro because you can do pretty much everything with it, like type... hate it. or take notes... hate it. or even multitask. multi-hate yeah. you can do all the things you hate. great.
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officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. woo hoo! over you to you tom! things have gone totally around the bend. has the world gone completely bold? new doritos mix. four snacks in one. ♪ welcome. i am the extra crispy colonel. and my extra crispy five dollar fill-up is a tasty,
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on demand laughs, during long bubble baths. tv on every screen is awesome. the all-new xfinity stream app. all your tv at home. the most on demand, your entire dvr, top networks, and live sports on the go. included with xfinity tv. xfinity the future of awesome. "the daily show." now, i don't know about you, but i've been a little bummed out lately about the news. there's just a lot of heavy stuff going on, you know: the u.s. and russia are moving toward open warfare in syria. and you've got syria itself. tensions with north korea are getting even worse. and the han solo movie is even falling apart. ( laughter ) and then yesterday, i turned on nbc news, and this is how it starts. >> tropical storm warning expanded on the gulf coast from texas to louisiana. also, crippling heat. so hot in one city, it's forcing flights to be grounded.
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a violent ride. severe turbulence sends passengers and a crew member to the hospital in houston. train station explosion in brussels. soldiers open fire. another apparent terror attack thwarted. and opioid epidemics striking so many families, they're running out of treatment beds. jails being turned into detox centers. >> trevor: goddamn! ( laughter ) and i thought the saddest thing on nbc was megyn kelly's ratings. what the hell! honestly, people, i'm getting anxious. i'm getting depressed, and i don't think anything is going to cheer me up. i just, you know-- oh, boy! a turntable! what? ♪ ♪ where am i?
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>> dj khaled. you're inical ed's world. oh, wow. >> dj khaled. it's so colorful. >> you mean it's khale-ful. let's go. >> trevor: oh, khaled how do you look so cool when you fall? >> i've fallen so many times, i realize falling is flying. so when i fall, i fly. and when i fly, i fall. gravity pulls you down, but it lifts me up. trevor, this has got to be the slowest cheetah to ever live. he's slow, but he's not unhappy. every cheetah lives their own truth at whatever speed. if you can't be big, the key is you gotta think big. >> breathing underwater, dj ical ed. when you let go of the outrage, the (bleep) boys can't hurt you. >> trevor: wow, are these the (bleep) boys?
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>> no, these are the kimono dragons. >> trevor: how come i have to ride the middle polar bear? >> you're just a baby in the world of positivity, trevor. but you will grow. trevor, feed this butterfly with this apple. >> trevor: what? butterflies don't eat apples. >> doesn't matter. now feed him with another one. and another one. ( burb ) and, of course, another one. make sure you give the hedgehog this bag of money. >> major bag alert! >> trevor: dj khaled, hedgehogs don't need money. >> that's what you think. secure the future. >> trevor: hey, yo, khaled, what does this jet ski symbolize? >> easy. it symbolizes a jet ski. trevor, this is the end of our journey. >> trevor: i feel so much better, dj khaled. >> then my work is done here, my friend.
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>> trevor: but wait. what do we do if we feel sad again? >> the key is listen to grateful and be grateful and be great. you're going to be great. i have faith in you. >> trevor: bye, dj khaled! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: we'll be right back. [ ♪ ] how do they make starburst taste so juicy? they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy.
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yeah yeah today i want to show you guys the next-gen chevy equinox. what do you think? that's pretty. pretty sexy. it looks aggressive. but not overbearing. it's not too big. not too small. seems like the perfect car for anybody. i would take it anywhere. she's a bad mama jama. (laughter) current qualified gm lessees can get this introductory lease on the all-new 2018 chevy equinox for around $249 a month. find new roads at your local chevy dealer. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a grammy award-winning musician whose new album is called "the nashville sound." please welcome jason isbell. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you, sir. >> trevor: this is so good to have you here. i have been told by many people that you are the definition of folk music right now.
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that is, like, the thing that they say. and then i'm always like, "oh, cool, like country?" and they're like, "no, folk. folk music." why is that such a big distinction, folk versus country? >> i think folk music deals in narrative, more than anything else. >> trevor: that's interesting. >> you know, folk music kind of harkens back to a time when we made up songs so we didn't forget our storys. and that's what i think i'm trying to do more than anything else is remember the world and my own experience experiences at explain it to myself. and i think if you're doing that, you're a folk musician, no matter how loud your amps are, how tight your jeans are, how bedazzled your cowboy shirts are, you wind up being a folk musician. >> trevor: that's a nice-- you said "the tight jeans" with a little bit of contempt. i like that. you do get a bit of grief from people, you know. you are outspoken on social media. you speak your mind wherever you go.
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i mean, this album is one that some people would deem political, but you don't really think it is. like, why do you speak out as much as you do? some people say, "just be an artist." >> well, i think that's the thing. there's a difference between an artist and an entertainer. what i'm trying to do is make something that isn't exactly for entertainment purposes. and i think to be an artist you have to set an honest location, and you have to tell people what you're life is like, your life is like, and what your experiences are like while you're telling the story because to tell any good story, you have to have a good setting. and right now we're in-- we're in some heat. we're-- i can't tell if we're in the frying pan or the fire right now, but it's one or the other, for sure. >> trevor: it is a time that has inspired your music. i look at many of the titles of the songs, and one that jumped out at me was when you were singing about a "white man's world." >> uh-huh. >> trevor: you know, i mean, someone may see that and be, like, "hell, yeah, i want to listen to this." >> right. >> trevor: and then the song goes in the complete opposite direction because you are
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commenting on a world that is clearly in favor of some people and biased against others. i was interested in why you wrote the song. >> in my experience-- i have a daughter, and she's almost two years old now. and i was home with her the day after the election. >> the thing that popped into my mind is thank god she was a inn faint. if she was a couple of years older i would have to be like, this is what happened today. and this is why your father doesn't know anything about human people in this country anymore. ( laughter ) a couple of days ago i thought i knew them. a couple of days before that election, i thought i come from the country. i come from the south. and they're good people at heart, you know. they've got some problems, but they're good people. they won't do a bad thing. they won't overlook bad behavior. they won't reward bad behavior, by, you know, making this man be
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in charge of the free world for three or foredays until he no longer became the person who was in charge of the free world. that went to the german chancellor. >> trevor: it feels like-- you know, it feels-- it's interesting, because you're saying this to me, and hearing that accent, and then singing some of this music, they would expect to you hold political views that would be diametrically opposed to what you are saying right now. do some of your fans ever clash with the idea of you versus what you talk about and who you are? >> i think some of them do. i don't think there's a lot of them that do, though, because i think i worked really hard over the course of my career to surround myself with open-minded people. >> trevor: right. >> and i did that by-- yeah, this may seem like the most overt collection of messages that i have put out on an album before. but if you were really listening to the songs, you know where i
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i was in the drive by truckers, and we weren't singing about your normal charlie daniels "when the eagle flies, we're all going to die" kind of country music. i mean, we were a bunch of nasty punk rockers. we were from alabama, but we believed pretty much everything was all right for a while there, you know. and for me, it's-- i don't know. it's surprising now when i catch vitriol online, you know, from people. and that's the only place you ever really hear it because i'm 6'1", 200 pounds. nobody comes up to my face, "i hate this song." it's always' "mom's basement" guys, you know. anyway. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: can i tell you-- can i tell you, i recently fell in love with your music, but i think i would pay to listen to you talk all night. ( applause ) ( cheers ) i wish we could. >> well, thank you. >> trevor: thank you so much for being here.
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